Is one person able to take care of BB

[wanderful]

It is headache time.. the confinement period is going to end soon.

We found that the BB is attached to the confinement lady.
She would started to cried everyday at a specific time and my wife and i would always take turn cradle and hug her but she still cried aloud.
She would only stop crying when the confine lady took over....she my BB always on the look out for the confine lady...my wife is very concerned about this. Sometime she would comment that our baby dun want us...

wonder how will my wife cope after the confinement period...she is taking care of BB full time...how ah :wefrown:

Any advise

 

[autumn82]

Ask your wife to start hands-on the baby now. No matter what, the CL has to leave one day.

Not easy if baby's gonna cry all the long but I believe baby will adapt to mummy pretty soon.

Don't give up, give your wife extra extra more support at this period... :001_302::001_302::001_302:

 

[angelwendy]

Yup she gotta hands on now... is a soon or later thing... :001_302:

 

[candy_ian]

Yes, your wife shld take on baby care now so that baby can get accustomed to her smell, her voice I'm sure it wot b diff after all she's the mummy.. I'm taking care of my son from day 1 till now with no help so I think anyone can do it.. It comes naturally..

 

[apollo]

It is headache time.. the confinement period is going to end soon.

We found that the baby is attached to the confinement lady.
She would started to cried everyday at a specific time and my wife and i would always take turn cradle and hug her but she still cried aloud.
She would only stop crying when the confine lady took over....she my baby always on the look out for the confine lady...my wife is very concerned about this. Sometime she would comment that our baby dont want us...

wonder how will my wife cope after the confinement period...she is taking care of baby full time...how :wefrown:

Any advise

during this period ur wife got try to carry bb often? cos my cousin only started to carry n learn to tc bb on the 3rd week onwards and aft the CL left, she had a bad time! cos bb reco the smell. so aft i gave birth, though still in confinement but i will feed and carry ds daily. i will feed him at least once - twice a day, carry him etc. though he reco and prefer the CL and my mum more but still managable.

honestly speaking, the 1st 3mths id not easy. u must try to understand and help out as much as npossible. aft wk u reach hm, try to take over ur wife's job. take care of bb and let her have some rest. my hubby used to wake up for ds's night feeds though he is wking. cos he noe i'm more tired than him.

aft 3mth, the bb will somehow has his own routine and the frequency of bb waking up for night feeds will be lesser or he might just slp thru the night, things will be easier for ur wife =)

 

[diymummy]

Agree with the rest to take over now.

Babies adapt fast so as soon as your wife takes over, I'm sure she will be able to soothe your baby.

I took care of my baby from day 1 to the end of my maternity leave, therefore it is possible to look after the baby alone.

But you would have to try to give all the support your wife needs, like coming home early. It would also help if she has a community of friends she can speak to like on msn or whom she can call.

 

[wanderful]

Thank you for sharing the experience and advice

Well, i did tell my wife to carry her more often and sooner later the baby will get used to it..believe baby also recognise smell. Sometime she is quite upset when the baby cried for the CL instead of her own mummy... i have check with few friends and they told me it is common.

will see how things work out after we take over from the CL. It ain't easy after the CL leave...all by ourselves

cheers

 

[apollo]

Thank you for sharing the experience and advice

Well, i did tell my wife to carry her more often and sooner later the baby will get used to it..believe baby also recognise smell. Sometime she is quite upset when the baby cried for the CL instead of her own mummy... i have check with few friends and they told me it is common.

will see how things work out after we take over from the CL. It ain't easy after the CL leave...all by ourselves

cheers

ask her not to feel upset. when my CL left, my son cried for my mum instead of me. imagine, the 1st 3 mth he insist to slp in my mum's room and i gonna move over to my mum's room for tt 2 mths aft my confinement.

 

[pinkpluspinky]

Try to comfort your wife and tell her not to be stress or upset when baby cries. They can really feel your anxiety. Keep reminding yourself and your wife, that baby crying is normal, cos thats how they express themselves. So please don't be stressed up the moment they start wailing. Try to talk to baby to sooth him or her.

 

[TANZHENZHI]

Yes agree with all mummies, dun need be so stressed up. Babies really very smart, so you must not show your emotions in front of her. Good luck in taking care of her. Must give your wife more support now. Tell her not to be worry, she's not alone. Jia You Daddy. ancing_wub:

 

[SH74]

when the CL is gone, make sure u give ur wife ur full support n understanding. n b extra sensitive towards her feelings n actions. if u notice her being frustrated or stressed or upset, quickly step in n show ur LOVE n CARE for her.

it's norm for babies to react this way. that's y right fr start, i insist on handling my newborn regularly though i hv CL that time. like wat d other mummies said, babies r v smart. they'll accept their mothers naturally n whoever shower them w love n care.

during this transition period, daddy jus hv to b considerate n thoughtful.

 

[hueychye79]

dont't worry and panic, I am also 1st time mum.

Is your baby, how come dont't want you .. Right?

dont't stress yourself.

Errmmm... About the baby dont't want me ..

Never encounter !

Maybe since day 1 I will try to hug Isaac and feed him as long as I can.

My hubby also feed him at least 1 time when he come back from work since day 1.

Is a precious time for him and baby, I still remember that feeling.

Since your CL is leaving soon, as a daddy try to learn how to change diaper, shower baby and feed your baby.

At least you can help her when you are at home. Right?

I am sure your wife will feel panic and streess when she take care alone, but trust me it just a transition period.

Your wife need your support.

Jia You.. :tlaugh:

 

[LoVeS]

If ur hse has only 1 kid n ur wife is full time housewife then i tink ur wife shouldnt haf any prob wif it taking care of the BB alone...as u knw practice makes everything perfect~ She need time to slowly get used to it~

 

[NIisme]

Agreed with the rest.
Seriously i think doesn't mean confinement period got CL help you and your wife take care your baby, den you both totally let her take care, mummy should learn to take care and handle their own baby since the first day of birth. No matter what, child is belong to you de, other ppl only 'helping' you, doesn't mean got give salary den must totally make full use of her.

My god bro's wife always never bond with her boy de, till now baby already grow up to toddler. And now she wanna carry and play with her boy, but end up the boy cry whenever she try to carry him.

Headache right? So better take care the baby yourself to avoid being ignore.

 

[CanCanMum]

its common for baby to look for CL especially if shes the one lookin after the baby throughout the confinement period.

breastfeeding does helps in the bonding

otherwise, sooner or later, she will bond wif the baby.

Baber oso rejected me during the first 2.5months of his infancy (MIL took care for confinement, after that was full time taken care of by my mum, we never brought Baber home till he was 2.5 months old).....pretty upsetting, but after bringing him home every night and putting him to bed, tending to his midnight cries etc.....we became more close and actually baby will eventually bond with the mummy, coz they live inside us for 9months plus, they are familiar with our body scent/voice etc.

sometimes they cry oso becoz they dunn like the way we carry them, so juz keep trying. Especially if u r first time parents :001_302: Baber was such cry baby everytime i carried him zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.........others were fine!!!

some parents place their babies with a nanny, they will oso become sticky to the nanny, its quite common actually.

nowadays sometimes i will tell Baber he was so cry baby during his infant days hahha~~~

 

[camom]

Definitely, though when I had my 1st one, I wld have said it was a nightmare, kekeke.

 

[stonston]

Confinement lady's job is to TEACH new parents, not look after baby for the new parents.

That's the common misconception that confinement ladies should look after the baby, leaving the parents high and dry when they leave (and I know of parents who call their CLs back after confinement end cos they can't cope).

First thing is to talk to your wife about it. It's normal for baby to reject if you have not been hands on. The key is not to be frustrated. Kids are smart, they know who are their parents so baby will eventually accept your wife.

Set small targets. E.g. Tomorrow I want to learn how to bathe baby. Day after learn how to sooth baby to sleep.
With small targets, it's more manageable and your wife will learn everything bit by bit. Then it won't feel so overwhelming.

When baby is asleep, ask your wife to lie beside baby. Get an old T-shirt to wrap with baby under the blanket. This helps baby to be able to get used to the smell

Your wife needs to rest, so tell her to take naps with baby. With the naps, her mood will improve also. When she accomplish something, no matter how small, praise your wife and encourage her. If finances permit, maybe can buy her a small gift for doing a good job

My hubby was very supportive by carrying baby over to the bed for me, changing his diapers with me (help me get wet cotton wool, etc etc). Listen to my boring day and kissing me to say thank you for the hard work (well, it wasn't really very hard cos my boy is rather easy to care for and I had a maid). But it felt good

 

[wanderful]

Confinement lady's job is to TEACH new parents, not look after baby for the new parents.

That's the common misconception that confinement ladies should look after the baby, leaving the parents high and dry when they leave (and I know of parents who call their CLs back after confinement end cos they can't cope).

First thing is to talk to your wife about it. It's normal for baby to reject if you have not been hands on. The key is not to be frustrated. Kids are smart, they know who are their parents so baby will eventually accept your wife.

Set small targets. E.g. Tomorrow I want to learn how to bathe baby. Day after learn how to sooth baby to sleep.
With small targets, it's more manageable and your wife will learn everything bit by bit. Then it won't feel so overwhelming.

When baby is asleep, ask your wife to lie beside baby. Get an old T-shirt to wrap with baby under the blanket. This helps baby to be able to get used to the smell

Your wife needs to rest, so tell her to take naps with baby. With the naps, her mood will improve also. When she accomplish something, no matter how small, praise your wife and encourage her. If finances permit, maybe can buy her a small gift for doing a good job

My hubby was very supportive by carrying baby over to the bed for me, changing his diapers with me (help me get wet cotton wool, etc etc). Listen to my boring day and kissing me to say thank you for the hard work (well, it wasn't really very hard cos my boy is rather easy to care for and I had a maid). But it felt good

wow...your husband must be a patient person....2more days before the CL leave us....tried to look after the baby yesterday nite...didn't really have a good sleep keep awake a few times because baby keep making funny sound in the middle of the nite.....expect more tough time ahead :001_302:

 

[wanderful]

Agreed with the rest.
Seriously i think doesn't mean confinement period got CL help you and your wife take care your baby, then you both totally let her take care, mummy should learn to take care and handle their own baby since the first day of birth. No matter what, child is belong to you , other ppl only 'helping' you, doesn't mean got give salary then must totally make full use of her.

My god bro's wife always never bond with her boy , till now baby already grow up to toddler. And now she wanna carry and play with her boy, but end up the boy cry whenever she try to carry him.

Headache right? So better take care the baby yourself to avoid being ignore.

very siong.....go to work is better and less stressful ..kekee

 

[cmeilim]

agree with stonston's comment. many new parents take confinement month easy as their CL does everything. baby sleeps with CL. in the middle of the nite, baby is bottle-fed by CL. parents continue sleeping. then when CL leave, they really suffer. personally my hubby and i never agreed that baby should sleep with maid/CL and i breastfed my baby thru the nite during confinement too. it's tiring but hey, the baby is ours.

u can be an even sweeter hubby if u take leave for the first couple of days to help your wife adjust to taking care of the baby. but dun also do everything for your wife cos she must practise on her own. u can help out with smaller tasks or help prepare bathing or diapering items for her while she does the main bathing and diapering job. u being at home will also be a physical presence to show her the support she need. i am sure she will be v grateful for that. some of my friends' hubby did that.

for my hubby, he went to work a bit later in the morning for the first couple of weeks (his own company, more flexible). he would come back on time to bathe baby in the evenings, as well as to sometimes cook dinner for us if i couldn't squeeze in the time to do it.


just plunge right into real parenting and do the stuff yourselves.