is there anyway I can know if he is having affiars outside ? : ( ...............

Cancerian

Member
I have done all, check his phone, his behaviour, his movements, surprise call his mobile N office, etc ................
is getting me more suspicion everyday onwards.
 

Anniston

Member
I have done all, check his phone, his behaviour, his movements, surprise call his mobile N office, etc ................
is getting me more suspicion everyday onwards.
Since you have done so many things, any findings to prove your hubby having an affair? If no, then you might be over reacting. And when you over-react, you begin to strain your relationship with your hubby without knowing it.... your attitude towards him might change.
 

Cancerian

Member
sometimes when talking to the other person on the phone, like very friendly conversation, even when with me during certain timing, will still answer that call.
 
is it only one particular caller only? if u really suspect, may be talk to him. Personally I think better than suspecting and doing all the checking yet can't confirm, stress and upset yourself.
 

Cancerian

Member
I suspect 1 particular caller only, as that night when we were together, the phone keep ringing on N on, he pick up N say, call you back, before he hang up, I heard a voice, "why not picking up my calls", then he continue onwards with me, the phone keep on ringing too until he pick the phone N went outside the room to talk, I feel frustrated N angry, lock the room until the next morning, we quarrel, until today, I still not forgiven & talk to him.
 

CanCanMum

Moderator
usually there will be tell-tale signs that usually dun happen like even on sundays, he is answering/messaging to another person when 2 of u are around etc. or brings his HP around to wherever he goes etc or constantly checking for new smses etc. Usually what u feel/suspect is more important. Find some time to talk to him or reignite the days both of u had together as a couple. I am not sure if u have kids, but if u do, maybe he is behaving a little weird or maybe he felt neglected or as a first time father??! I guess from what u wrote, nothing serious seem to have happened yet. If u still feel the love in him and u dun wan to lose him, then perhaps u shd do something to save the relationship (even if u felt or is suspicious of him). Not saying that u caused it to happen, but sometimes he might have some thoughts but he refused to say during day to day activities. Or perhaps he is lost (but he still loves u).....anyway I dunno how men thinks, but if I were u, I would either talk to him, find a nice environment to have heart to heart talks (if it works for your hubby) rather than quarrel with him because I think men usually hate nagging and quarrels. So find the best way to make your hubby open up and to show that u still care for his feelings. I think he will appreciate that you do it for him. Do u think this way it will work for your hubby's character?
 

BbpHir3

Active Member
For me, I will actually ask myself, am I giving him too much of his own time?
Then I will think, am I giving him enough time with me?
Just to be fair for both, we both agree that we both need time for ourselves and time for each other.
And respect each other by paying attention to each other when we are tgt and giving each other space when we need to finish our work, settle the kids individually etc..
there are times that when I feel the same way as you, suspecting this n that.. but end up, he was just being nice to a long time female friend who just broke up/ having relationship problems.. but because he didn't wanna me to think too much (esp I was having pre natal depression).. this end up with me thinking even more.. so after quarrelling, we sat down n talk, tgt with the girl and the "ex-bf" (solving 2 issues at once, lol)....
you might wanna talk to him.. think about how he treats you normally and all... maybe it's just oversensitive? Or even if it is real, by trying to hide it means he still think of you, your position and the relationship between the two of you...
 

Cancerian

Member
usually we will bring in our phone when going to sleep, why he pick up the phone when he knows I'm here too because is very disturbing the phone keep ringing when we together, even my MIL knock the room door, ask us to answer or off the phone.
 

BbpHir3

Active Member
if he is answering the call with you around, I dun think he got anything to hide.. maybe the girl despo and trying to get your hub's attention??
 

Cancerian

Member
no choice, he had to answer the phone even I'm around as we in "mid-of-somethings", the phone is just on top of the drawer only.
 

raoow

Member
Why don't you pick up the call? And say he is on the shower? See what the other part says. If your hubby complains, tell him that if he has nothing to hide and this person is calling at inappropriate times, no reason why you cannot answer the phone for him.
 

BbpHir3

Active Member
n end up quarreling again..
i wun do that.. i will see hu call based on caller id.. n purposely tell him that xxx call..
 

Cancerian

Member
we still not talking N I wont allow him to sleep inside too until he tell who that person, so urgently call N call N even talk to the person the whole night too.
 
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