Marrying Foreign Wives

Pink daisy

Member
So, the facts are:
(1) Not all foreign (non-Singaporean) women are poor or coming from poor family who think that Singaporean men are rich. In my case, if i would like to simply get a rich husband, I would have looked for my fellow indonesian-chinese as most of their families have own businesses, compared to singaporeans who mostly come from working-class families (no offend intended). I believe this scenario is also applicable for some women coming from vietnam, cambodia and other 3rd world countries.
(2) Many foreign women are highly educated in western countries and come to Singapore for good jobs. Many obtain their Singapore PR through their own means, meaning by getting the Employment Pass and then applying for PR through the Professional Personnel scheme, and not by relying on their Singaporean husbands to apply for them.
(3) Not all Singaporean men purposely prefer to marry foreign women than to marry Singaporean women. Most of the time, it's just fate that brings people together, regardless of the nationalities.
(4) Not all foreign women are more submissive than the singaporean women. I think this depends a lot on the woman's education level, financial independence, self-respect, family upbringing, etc. Anyway, i feel that in marriage, there're times that we have to be submissive to our partner's needs. Being submissive doesn't always mean that we're on the losing end.
You take the word out of my tongue.
We're almost exactly on the same boat.

May I also add that the environment for upbringing plays biggest part in an individual traits. It's about how you've groomed & what you regard as priorities in your life. Fate do have its portion in marriage, but I believe hard work & understanding makes up the rest of the ingredients. Many marriages failed because each person speaks a different need with none wanting to compromise.
 
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i see this thread never fails to elicit such impassioned responses. thanks ah, tommyBoi =)

there are always exceptions to the rule. just like you lulu, and you pink daisy, are exceptions to "poor, uneducated women from third world countries", they are as much exceptions to you.


kudos on your professional & academic achievements. unfortunately, were you both Singaporean women, i'm almost certain you would be accused of some of the things i unfortunately was while i was making my observations. not sure why ah - maybe becos Singaporean women are "female chauvinists" for demanding equal opportunities, and don't submit to "traditional values". or at least, i am. are you?

anyway, while many of the things you listed were true & extracted from life, so were mine.

i think the failing of this thread, however enthusiastic it remains, lies in the fact that both camps see only one-way. even when there are truths on either side.


*shrugs*
 
& no offence to you too, but i don't think i'd be making a high assumption when i state that most of your upper class comrades had the good fortune to be born in your social hiearchy - the opportunities for you are endless.

Singaporeans on the other end, have to work twice, maybe even thrice as hard for our money. the high cost of living, coupled with societal demands, a materialist culture and a government that continually presses its citizens to work until they literally die without so much as wages that equal the labour (because "increasing wages is not the long-term solution") ... at the end of the day, what is anyone's definition of "quality of life"?


you see, Singapore's falling birth rate & disparate ratio of senior citizens VS active labour force is its own failing. in the not-so-distant past, one of our visionaries envisioned an overcrowded, overpopulated state should its citizens be allowed to keep multiplying like rabbits, and hence decided that in the best interests of the country, human reproduction should be minimised, and all who choose to oppose be penalised.


so today we're forced to jostle for our own rice bowl.
 

CanCanMum

Moderator
There are more and more Singaporean men marrying foreign wives, esp from China, Vietnam, Malaysia, Thailand, etc. Ard my circle of frens, there are about 50% of them married foreigner, including me. I also came across an article few weeks ago saying that the latest birth rate shows more than 50% of the newborn baby are from foreign wives. Moreover, there are more Singaporean Female than Male now.

I wondering if these trend carry on for the next few years, there will be many single Singaporean female in future. I believe there are many foreign wives in this forum as well. Any comments on the above issue?

cheers!!
my husband is a foreigner as well...me falls into the 50% crowd...but i will contribute 0.001% to foreigner husbands instead of foreigner wives den...kekekeke helps to cushion the falling rate...hahahaha

to me finding a partner is based on fate....other things not important....of coz we must marry for love. Personally i believe tat marriages based on other things apart from love will not last.

i used to be critical about china brides....dink they are here only for ++....but my bro's friend has proven me wrong. His chinese wife is no difference from any of us....looks after the family and works full-time, quite decent character.

so basically we must marry for love to last the marriage. Nothing fundamentally wrong with where the partner comes from.
 

wenz

Member
my cousin who is in his late 30s, had never had a gf in his life becos he's diabetics, fat, walking difficulties and some other minor illness... his mum got him a vietnam wife, initially it's all about deal where she is just like a maid who look after him and his needs... but after 2years she develop loves for him cos despite his illness, he work hard and feed the family, treating her very well, to reduce his burden, she work part time at home by making cakes and some sewing for people to help him...

i always believe things are always on a 50:50 ratio, there are good and bad examples out there, we can't condemn the good because we only or mostly seen the bad... ever heard of 'hao shi bu chu men, huai shi chuan qian li'? meaning good things usually wun spread as fast as bad things...

so by reading articles it's difficult to say all foreign wife are bad... cos news dun really report good foreign wife out there...
i.e maids: they only report abusive maid / maid being abused / maid running away etc... but who had really seen reports on very good maids who contribute alot to the familiars?

So from my points of view, there is no definate answer on foreign wife good or not cos singaporean wife is also on a 50:50 ratio, it all depends on fate, feeling, love and luck.....

just my point of view... =)
 

daberdew

Member
i always believe things are always on a 50:50 ratio, there are good and bad examples out there, we can't condemn the good because we only or mostly seen the bad... ever heard of 'hao shi bu chu men, huai shi chuan qian li'? meaning good things usually wun spread as fast as bad things...

so by reading articles it's difficult to say all foreign wife are bad... cos news dun really report good foreign wife out there...
i.e maids: they only report abusive maid / maid being abused / maid running away etc... but who had really seen reports on very good maids who contribute alot to the familiars?

So from my points of view, there is no definate answer on foreign wife good or not cos singaporean wife is also on a 50:50 ratio, it all depends on fate, feeling, love and luck.....

just my point of view... =)

Agree, there's always both sides to a coin.
 

Porukadotzu

Active Member
FYI, Women from 3rd world country doesn't mean they are poor and living in padi fields. I came fm jakarta and moved here after married to my boyfriend for 9 yrs and now husband.

Those Singaporean Males who married foreign wives do have many reasons to do that.. and why Singaporean females who don't have any relation with the couples so bothered to feel angry or dislike these things?

Married for money is not always the reason for foreign wives, but it is always been a trademark for foreign wives... funny ah!
Actually Married for money is always the reason for EVERY WIVES.. who don't??

For me, to marry a guy i have to be sure that my future husband have a good job and steady income to support a family not necesarily multibillioner thou..

I won't married blindly becoz of love.. but i'm so blessed my husband is the one i love and also hv good job and he's not lazying around to earn it.

Why i have such standard? coz I was having a good life and having a good job in Jakarta.. I won't get married just bcoz of love to a jobless lazy handsome man and end up working my ass off to support the family... i think it was a stupid choice.. might as well stay single and continue with my job then. And I think it's necessary to be SMART.

What you all highlighting here are those women who matierialistic and only rely on husband to earn money and that is wrong!

So please don't speak for all FOREIGN WIVES.
 

CanCanMum

Moderator
yeah la, of coz not married blindly for love la....but also not married for money....

aiyah neverending story....

best keep quiet. :p (for this issue)

actually now i think of it, i would have been richer if i had stayed single, coz no commitments no loans to repay, no bills..... every year can go holidays wad...dun u all think so?
 
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DodoTan

Member
Tsk Tsk. This discussion in itself is flawed. How can we claim to be true and patriotic Singaporeans if we have such negative feelings towards others joining our nation(be it through marriage, work or migration due to sporting contributions)? Were our forefathers not from all over the world, here to seek a better life? We are a nation of migrations! Hear the words of your pledge carefully,"...regardless of race, language or religion... based on justice and equality..." I don't care where you were born, but if you recite these words and live them, you're Singaporean. Thus making this discussion redundant.
 

DodoTan

Member
Ironically, many-a-time it is those who are born here and recite this pledge blindly for 10 years in school that fail to live up to it.
 

Endoh

Alpha Male
if i had stayed single, coz no commitments no loans to repay, no bills..... every year can go holidays wad...dun u all think so?
Really mehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh?

No commitments - maybe I believe half.

No loans to repay and no bills? In Singapore? CannotCannotDad...
 

CanCanMum

Moderator
Really mehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh?

No commitments - maybe I believe half.

No loans to repay and no bills? In Singapore? CannotCannotDad...
who is cannotcannotdad????? *acts blurr* Still CanCAN!

anyway yes lor, coz when i was still single i really got no loans to pay....bills only my own handphone bills mah, living off parents mah....no meh??? Hack care + carefree life.

but now payin everything....everything in singapore is money.....
 

CanCanMum

Moderator
ermmm.....u all wrong leh.....they are not loaded....dad just worked hard to let us have a good life.....mum housewife somemore worh.....eh, wads wrong???? Me only gave small comments wad....eh? wrong meh????? ZZZzzzz

darlin~ autumn, support me la....LOLs
 

Porukadotzu

Active Member
Tsk Tsk. This discussion in itself is flawed. How can we claim to be true and patriotic Singaporeans if we have such negative feelings towards others joining our nation(be it through marriage, work or migration due to sporting contributions)? Were our forefathers not from all over the world, here to seek a better life? We are a nation of migrations! Hear the words of your pledge carefully,"...regardless of race, language or religion... based on justice and equality..." I don't care where you were born, but if you recite these words and live them, you're Singaporean. Thus making this discussion redundant.
true.. true...

:Dancing_wub:
 

Endoh

Alpha Male
I know already... anyone spotted the flaws? It didn't say...

... REGARDLESS OF NATIONALITY!

ROFLMAO!
 

estherlin

Member
tout sporean women not that perfect, but i still think sg ladies are better. heard many stories, abt how my uncle married foreign wives, but ran away....think reasons for running various.

But 1 thing i can say is my uncle is super good, those soft spoken type, so is goes to say- nan ren bu huai, nu ren bu ai???
 
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