Misbehaved children?

[SH74]

wat's ur view on this? is it normal? is the child considered misbehaved child? or strong survival skill? or rebellious? or spoilt? or normal for a 30mth old child?

Examples :
1) if a 30mth old child loves to purposely hog / snatch toys away by force fr his playmate 24 mth old, knowing dat d toys r his playmate's fav.

2) if a 30mth old child loves to purposely bang, knock, squeeze his way thru (knowing dat's there's no space at all) in d car he's sitting against his playmate's car, running d wheels over d playmate's feet, trapping d playmate such dat he cant reverse his car.

3) if a 30mth old child quickly take d toy away knowing dat his playmate 24 mth old is going to play w it.

4) if a 30mth old child played his toy car and it went underneath the sofa, he blames it on his playmate, scolding him for doing that.

5) if a 30mth old child snatches his playmate's toy by force just cos his is taken away by his father.

 

[Phoebii Cheng]

I think that there is something wrong with the 30mth old child...the way he is behaving, there is no boundaries at all for him and the parents did not correct him, that is why he is behaving the way he is.....

Are you on close terms with the boy?

 

[SH74]

ya. in a way. kind of sensitive n diffi 4 me 2 talk to his mom or scold d boy myself as d parents nv really say much when their son did dat. anyway, even if d parents scold or stop him, he'll still cont.

 

[diymummy]

I think the 30 mth boy is a spoilt brat. I suspect he has been brought up with no sense of discipline.

 

[CanCanMum]

i see it as misbehavior, and his parents should step in to discipline him

is tat your friend's child?

as an outsider, can only tell the boy "its not right to do tat etc etc" but cannot scold coz later his parents might think u r being kaypo......

i saw before a baby girl, at 18months old, being not able to talk still, likes to SCREAM

her parents oso bochap, but the screaming voice is very high pitched and i find it personally very disturbing but theres nothing we can do oso coz the parents simply let her scream as if its right~~~and it can come outta nowhere, dunnO why they can stand kids screaming tho~~~

 

[SH74]

all d while i feel dat fighting 4 things n exposed d playmate 2 dat is good in a way as in fight 4 wat they deserved (for d child) n understand dat not everytime life is fair (for d playmate). survival skill. but it seems 2 get out of hand alr.

told d child many times dun touch my hp. but he still try his luck n touch it everytime. imagine he still can look at me while going near my hp, touch n hold it even though i'm alr staring at him. when i put my hp in my pocket, he wanted to try it out but he knows it's impossible 2 do it den he stopped. prob is i feel like telling his parents but they seem to feel dat it's normal leh, they dun seem to find dat he's spoilt leh.

 

[CanCanMum]

why fighting for toys = survival skills lehhhh ????????????

in the first place, if want to play should ask nicely or should share mahhhh, coz he shd noe how to talk oredi rite?

i always tell Baber muz share toys altho when he was younger he oso snatched toys away to play~~~

or why u see it in a different manner?

 

[SH74]

cancan > 1 of his parents is a teacher yet still let d child behave like dat. at 1st i was wondering if d prob lies w my son. mayb too soft, got weak survival skill,...

i cant scold d boy or feedback to his parents also cos i dunno if it's norm for 30mth old boys 2 b so notti cos mine only 24 mth old. sekali next time mine reach that age also behave like dat.

also sch teachers dun seem 2 hv bad feedback abt their son behaving this way.

i did tell d boy off a few times but he still cont.

 

[yan2]

This child should be discipline.

Fighting for toys NOT = to survival skills.

I always told my girl not to fight for toys. If a child takes away her toys when she is playing, nevermind let her. You go and take other toys to play. Also never go and take away ppl toys when they are playing.

 

[yan2]

cancan > 1 of his parents is a teacher yet still let d child behave like dat. at 1st i was wondering if d prob lies w my son. mayb too soft, got weak survival skill,...

i cant scold d boy or feedback to his parents also cos i dont know if it's norm for 30mth old boys 2 b so notti cos mine only 24 month old. sekali next time mine reach that age also behave like dat.

also sch teachers dont seem 2 have bad feedback about their son behaving this way.

i did tell d boy off a few times but he still cont.

Discipline should start from young.

I felt is wrong to think that "it's normal for 30mth old boys to be so notti cos mine only 24 months old.sekali next time mine reach that age also behave like dat." With proper discipline, at what age the boys should be well-behaved. My girl's classmate, a boy (3 yrs old) is so well-behaved.

 

[Ting]

SH74, NO, it is not normal for a child to act like this regardless of age, UNLESS the parents allow him to.

this just shows he has no discipline at home nor anywhere.
sorry im abit confused. he is your son's playmate?
in sch or home?
if in sch, u shld feedback to the teachers n ask them what hv they been doing?!

if he is a relative's son (which i assume shld be) then talk to his parents.
i dun see whats wrong to discipline a child if his parents cant or not willing to do it.
he's spoilt rotten!
n to cause hurt to other kids just by wanting things to go his way? he is just being a BULLY!
wah, if its me, n that kid bullies my pin, i tell u, i sure scold him. CONFIRM. i dun care if he is my sister's kid, aunt's kid, cousin's kid. if u bully my kid, u r gg to get it from me if your parents dont step in to do something abt it.

n firstly, STOP YOUR CHILD FROM PLAYING WITH HIM. stay away from him so he doesnt get a chance to be bullied, it will affect your son emotionally if he continues to be bullied by that kid. n when u carry your son away,purposely say loud enough: DONT PLAY WITH XXX, LATER HE BULLY U AGAIN!!!

make sure its loud enuf for his parents to hear it.
if they say anything, just shoot them back lorr, they duno how to teach their kids, why shld u tolerate such behavior?
for me, I WONT TOLERATE, cos it is MY kid he is bullying.
as a mother, it is only natural to protect our children, even the lioness will also protect her cubs.
ask them how would they feel if it is your son doing it to their son? will they still say its is COMMON? it is natural? it is OKAY? will they just sit one corner n DO NTH?

i can tell u, pin's classmates all 16 of them, NONE of them r like that.
of cos, they do snatch toys at times, but in the end, when the teacher steps in, they will return n then share to play tgt.

 

[SH74]

oh no no no... i mean dat sometimes it's ok to fight for wat u deserve instead of alw keep quiet let ppl take watever they wan. if not, alw kena makan/bullied by ppl, how to survive when he's older.

all d while, if my boy's toy kena snatch, i'll alw tell him mus share. even if not his fault, i also tell him dat he mus share.

but sometimes if he everything also share, not his fault, he also give in n share, it may not b good in future. sometimes if he's not wrong, he shld insist. but of cos cannot alw insist, if not will become like dat 30 mth old boy.

so far boy's 'survival skills' not v strong, things alw kena snatch, den end up cry. den my parents say my boy v ham bao.

dat's y make me wonder if is it my understanding towards raising a child nowadays, wrong or d child's parents upbringing wrong. cos all d while i alw ask my boy mus share n give in. but see my boy alw kena bully, not rite also leh. i scared 1 day he fed up n sick of sharing n giving in, den start to b uncontrollable n demanding.

recent incident betw my boy n dat 30mth old, make me really confused abt parenting.

 

[CanCanMum]

tat reminds me of Baber, when he was at school during first day of school orientation

got 1 schoolmate, snatched toy from Baber and still claims Baber snatched his toys first!!!

of coz during orientation we dunn go around offending parents and tellg their kids off, but they went TOO MUCH lorrr

i saw it wif my OWN EYES tat the boy snatched toy from baber, yet that kid's grandma still come and tell Baber off, "cannot snatch toys u noe"

wahpiangzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz the BAD TEACHING THE BAD

i complained in the forum before about this lOlzzzzzzzzzzz, was 1 year ago

 

[CanCanMum]

oh no no no... i mean dat sometimes it's ok to fight for what you deserve instead of alw keep quiet let ppl take watever they want. if not, alw kena makan/bullied by ppl, how to survive when he's older.

all d while, if my boy's toy kena snatch, i'll alw tell him mus share. even if not his fault, i also tell him dat he mus share.

but sometimes if he everything also share, not his fault, he also give in n share, it may not b good in future. sometimes if he's not wrong, he shld insist. but of cos cannot alw insist, if not will become like dat 30 month old boy.

so far boy's 'survival skills' not very strong, things alw kena snatch, then end up cry. then my parents say my boy very ham bao.

dat's y make me wonder if is it my understanding towards raising a child nowadays, wrong or d child's parents upbringing wrong. cos all d while i alw ask my boy mus share n give in. but see my boy alw kena bully, not rite also . i scared 1 day he fed up n sick of sharing n giving in, then start to b uncontrollable n demanding.

recent incident betw my boy n dat 30mth old, make me really confused about parenting.

Baber was like your boy last time, kenna bullied by others and denn come home and cry~~~denn say dunn wanna go school the next day

actually YES in certain sense i agree wif u they shd learn how to defend themselves and not always kenna bullied by the more assertive kids, but your boy is still young, i m sure u wouldnt want to teach him to be like tat 30m old snatch toys bully rite? Coz its hard to do it in a neutral way. As in kids at this young age only can express themselves in their own way not like older kids who knows how to defend themselves oredi~~

When they are older, they will learn more about how to deal wif bullies. Coz so far, whenever a bully come along, like to hit Baber or something, he will either tell the bully off straight in the face or complain to teacher about it.

and to stop all these nonsense they shd use language to express and not by actions, which i find is not the best method of survival skills

ps: i ustd wad u meant coz when tat happens to me, i was oso confused as in how to teach my boy~~~

 

[Phoebii Cheng]

I think it is envitable that children snatch toys, bite each other etc...but most impt thing is for the parents to correct the child, if not the child will grow up thinking tht this is the correct way to live & the values behind it

Tht reminds me too, my son also kena pull the hair by another child, younger than him...but thank God the maid taking care of the child told him it is wrong to do that. And must sayang instead.

My son also bite & snatch toys frm other child, but I make him say sorry to them for snatching & biting or sayang back the child.

 

[SH74]

i told d boy firmly a few times but he still cont. if u read my earlier post on not allowing him touch my hp, u'll know how bad he is. d father did step in a few times, he still not scared. n cont. so i stayed near my boy n make sure he wont kena fr dat boy. my boy also dun dare go far cos dun wan kena bully. i cant bring my boy away fr d boy cos i'm in his house, playing w his toys. i also explained to my boy dat the toy he's playing belong to dat boy. so if he want take back, let him be. den d boy heard, told my boy off also, say he cannot take cos toy belong to him. i was really shocked.

i even asked d mother 'does he behave like dat in sch also?' cos i'm v shocked dat she's a teacher yet she accept her child behave like dat. surprisingly, d mother doesnt seem to be v much affected by her son's behavior leh.

anyway, aft reading all ur views, at least i know dat my understanding towards bringing up my child is not wrong. cos my boy seldom has other kids to play w him (except in sch). we r usu his playmates at hm. this boy is actu his 1 n only playmate. he's actu my sis's son, in case u guys r wondering. *hope she didnt join this forum*

so initially i was wondering whether my boy's behavior like this is cos he dun hv frens his age to play w him (except sch) n he alw get wat he wan at home. so when his toy kena snatch, he cry. suddenly it made me wonder if kids shld b exposed to b like my sis son.

my sis son got alot of cousins to play w him, which i think explains his misbehavior. cos among his cousins, he's d youngest, n if he wan anything, he has 2 fight for it.

it's really diffi for me 2 tell my 1 n only sis abt this. dun wan to sow any discord also. n dat's y aft this incident, i'm v disturbed n confused. dunno wat to do.

all d while, i alw take into consideration d way my sis bring up / educate her son. all d while, it has been healthy. initially, it was still bearable. recently, i saw her son's behavior became really bad. dunno is it cos he feels neglected due to a new member in family (another bro).

 

[CanCanMum]

it might be, coz a young child's inner self is hard to understand sometimes~~it can be berri complex~~~

i m tryin berri hard to understand Baber, still, at this age coz sometimes his behaviour is actually tryin to get my attention~~~tatzzz why being parents are nebber easy~~~:wong19:

 

[SH74]

cancan > ya lor. dat's y it made me wonder if i shld teach my boy to defend himself now at this age (esp now dat he's in cc). cos all d while i feel he shld learn to share n give in 1st. next time grow older den teach him to defend. easier to do dat also cos by then he un more things alr. but i c my sis son behave like dat, n also think back d way my boy kena bully in sch, made me wonder if i shld expose my boy to all these defence.

phoebii > my boy also will fight back d toys if kena snatch but i alw ask him give in. in d end, he alw lose out. in his prev sch, also got 1 big bully. aft dat he also dun wan go sch. dat's y aft c my sis son behavior, i start to think if it's norm, shld i educate my son to defend himself also.

 

[CanCanMum]

YES u shd just teach him to share toys and its wrong to snatch.........

coz i feel tats the correct direction towards socializing.

personally i wonx teach Baber to defend himself with actions, so far i only told him if someone bully him, please inform teacher~~~

i m surprised to see everyone in his class is doing tat, and the teacher so busy entertaining complaints lOlzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

 

[SH74]

ok. thanks.

i guess i alw think my sis has taught her son well. so when i c d way he behave now, i was shocked. suddenly make me confused. really disappointed w d way they educate their son.

dunno next weekend how. cannot dun meet. but i know my boy sure wont wan go alr.