Miscarriage

lovearth

Member
i I'm new here.
Jus have a sad news, devastated now.
Gynae said my pregnancy is not optimistic. I supposed to be 8-9weeks but my sac only measure 6.5-7weeks. Initially heartbeat is heard during 6.5 weeks but today no heartbeat heard & sac not growing as it shd be. I think he feel we are not convinced enuf so advised us to see him 2 weeks later to either do a abortion or wait for any reaction from my myself (heavy bleeding).
I'm super super sad. Becos the my hope is totally shattered.
This is my first pregnancy.
Anyone has this kind of experience to share to let me knw i am not alone...
I really lost now..
 

sepiafeathers

New Member
Hi lovearth
I had a miscarriage recently too. Am still v upset abt it. Im having a natural miscarriage now..no dc needed as am only abt six weeks. Just gotta be strong and try again..my first pregnancy too..pm me if u need someone to talk to..I totally understand how ure feeling now..hugs
 

lovearth

Member
Hi lovearth
I had a miscarriage recently too. Am still very upset about it. Im having a natural miscarriage now..no dc needed as am only about six weeks. Just gotta be strong and try again..my first pregnancy too..pm me if you need someone to talk to..I totally understand how ure feeling now..hugs
thanks for replying sepiafeathers. How's natural miscarriage like? Any cramps first & is it like having menses again? Sorry if I'm bringing back any sad memories to u. Now I'm jus dun knw wat to do except trying to accept the truth & learn to let go :(
 

sepiafeathers

New Member
Hi lovearth..
Yes its just like menses with cramping..I usually have quite bad cramps during my menses so now I still feel ok..dr also gave some pain killers upon request. The dr will advise if u need a dc. Because there wasn't anything growing in my womb yet she said just let it be natural. Dc sounds alot more complicated and she said if possible to go natural..
 
lovearth

i am really very sorry to hear about your loss.
I had a m/c last year too.
i totally understand how you felt.
at that time, a part of me died with my bb.

They said if the bb is not healthy, you will have a miscarriage, because it is the nature's way of dispelling unhealthy foetus to prevent them from coming to this world to suffer. And many also told me that everything happen for a reason.
At that time, the gynae at KKH advised me to wait for natural m/c.
So, it is best to discuss with your gynae what is the best option for you.

it seems to me that it is not totally confirmed that you will have an m/c.
Do you want to seek second opinion about this?
I have a colleague, last time, her first gynae told her that her bb lost her heartbeat.
She refuse to believe, but she went to another gynae, the second gynae told her to wait two weeks more, and the heartbeat came back.
maybe it is good that your gynae ask you to wait two weeks instead of advising you into a D & C immediately.
so maybe, all is not lost !!!

but if you really have m/c, after this, remember to do a mini confinement to get your health back.
Once your health is back, you can start to try for bb again.
You will see your rainbow baby soon, take care girl !!!


for mini confinement:
- replace plain water with Dried Longans + Red Dates + Ginger Tea for 2 weeks to 1 mth
- eat plenty of food cooked with Sesame Oil + Ginger
- Sleep Early and wear socks to sleep.
- have plenty of bed rest
- Do not carry heavy thing for this one month.
- if someone cooking for you, take the usual confinement food everyday.
- you can drink chicken essence too.
- once bleeding stop, you can start to drink Bazhen & shi quan da bu weekly.

Last year, i opened a thread about my case.
Many kind ladies give me some advice. I am thankful for the support that this forum has given me.
you can read through the thread..... Or you can PM me too if you need anyone to talk to

http://www.mummysg.com/forums/f7/my-first-pregnancy-but-miscarriage-91244/
 
Last edited:

lovearth

Member
Hi lovearth..
Yes its just like menses with cramping..I usually have quite bad cramps during my menses so now I still feel ok..dr also gave some pain killers upon request. The dr will advise if u need a dc. Because there wasn't anything growing in my womb yet she said just let it be natural. Dc sounds alot more complicated and she said if possible to go natural..
ok sepiafeathers I'll take note.frankly speaking I'm quite scared. These 2 weeks my hus is goin overseas for work & I dun knw can I take it if saw myself bleeding alot & worst when I read other forums some descibe that they can see like a size of ping pong ball of blood clots.
 

lovearth

Member
Hi faithmummy
Thanks for all ur kind advices. Really very thoughtful :)
This 2 nights I cried to sleep. In the day I tried my best not to cry. I just keep thinking how happy me & my hus were when I first tested positive for pregnancy.
Now this 2 weeks I dun know what shd I be feeling. Although I acted like alr give up any hope cos I dun think god will give me any miracles. But deep in my heart & baby still inside me, I still hopeful something good will happen. I knw I'm like deceiving myself :( but I really can't control myself.

lovearth

i am really very sorry to hear about your loss.
I had a m/c last year too.
i totally understand how you felt.
at that time, a part of me died with my bb.

They said if the bb is not healthy, you will have a miscarriage, because it is the nature's way of dispelling unhealthy foetus to prevent them from coming to this world to suffer. And many also told me that everything happen for a reason.
At that time, the gynae at KKH advised me to wait for natural m/c.
So, it is best to discuss with your gynae what is the best option for you.

it seems to me that it is not totally confirmed that you will have an m/c.
Do you want to seek second opinion about this?
I have a colleague, last time, her first gynae told her that her bb lost her heartbeat.
She refuse to believe, but she went to another gynae, the second gynae told her to wait two weeks more, and the heartbeat came back.
maybe it is good that your gynae ask you to wait two weeks instead of advising you into a D & C immediately.
so maybe, all is not lost !!!

but if you really have m/c, after this, remember to do a mini confinement to get your health back.
Once your health is back, you can start to try for bb again.
You will see your rainbow baby soon, take care girl !!!


for mini confinement:
- replace plain water with Dried Longans + Red Dates + Ginger Tea for 2 weeks to 1 mth
- eat plenty of food cooked with Sesame Oil + Ginger
- Sleep Early and wear socks to sleep.
- have plenty of bed rest
- Do not carry heavy thing for this one month.
- if someone cooking for you, take the usual confinement food everyday.
- you can drink chicken essence too.
- once bleeding stop, you can start to drink Bazhen & shi quan da bu weekly.

Last year, i opened a thread about my case.
Many kind ladies give me some advice. I am thankful for the support that this forum has given me.
you can read through the thread..... Or you can PM me too if you need anyone to talk to

http://www.mummysg.com/forums/f7/my-first-pregnancy-but-miscarriage-91244/
 

Leomaiden

Member
Hi lovearth, I had faced with the same experience & also my 1st pregnancy. No heartbeat detected when I went for my checkup at 8 weeks. Went for double confirmation at TMC for detailed scan & confirmed no heartbeat before I returned bk to my gynae for abortion. I was devastated that time. FYI, in the very same month, I lost my dad to liver cancer & followed by the miscarriage. Was on the verge of depression.

My dear, don't be sad. Things happen for a reason. My gynae said its normal & many mummies experienced this. With gynae, close friends & hub's encouragement, i went pass the hard time. I conceived again 3 mths later and gave birth to a healthy girl. She's 2 yrs old now.

Agreed with faithmummy, remember to do a mini confinement to replenish ur health. Tats important.

Take gd care for now.
 

Xtinee

Member
Go for a second opinion, it is safer this way. Mine was about the same case as yours last year, went to TMC for a second scan and HB was very weak, so they say it is not viable.
A miscarriage before first trimester is not the mummy's fault, it is due to chromosomal abnormalities that is why the bb stopped growing,
and such cases is very common here.
I was spotting on and off for two months and was on bed rest for a total of a month, was declared as no pay leave and everyday i live in fear.
I can understand how u feel as we fear of losing and there is nothing we can do.
Good news is im sure your next pregnancy will be great, im pregnant again after stopping for a year and we finally decide to try again.
Tomorrow is my 12 weeks scan, hope everything turns out well.
 

lovearth

Member
Hi gals
Really thank you so much for all the advices & support given. This morning I went for my d&c. I started bleeding bit by bit ytday. My hus called & spoke to my gynae again to ask more details abt doing a d&c & oso confirmed again abt the loss of our baby. After gynae told him is confirmed & advised him that if we are convinced & ready, I shd do a d&c asap as it will be messy(my gynae predicted I'll start to bleed soon) & I maybe not handle well if natural miscarriage. Moreover if d&c done in the clinic we hv to pay in cash fully(we are cash tight as I was hospitalised for few days this mth) so we decided to scheduled appt to do it the hospital.
Soon after confirming the appt thru phone, I cried, said thanks & sorry to my baby i can't continue to pressure him/her jus becos I couldn't accept the truth that it was a unsuccessful pregnancy. Immediately after saying all that, I started bleeding. Maybe is my own thinking but I have a strong feelin that my baby is doin this becos he or she know I'll feel guilty & that's to let me feel better.
I told my hus our baby is so considerate & obedient to us. Is sad we are unable to have him or her but i believe if we are fated together, we will have him soon & this time our baby & me will be healthy . Now he or she is resting at heaven with buddha & waiting for me to recover to reunite with us again. I choose to think this way.
 

Xtinee

Member
Hi lovearth, so sorry for your lost. Do remember to go through a proper confinement, take more sesame oil and ginger to warm the womb.
Im sure your next angel will stick and he/she will be a healthy and pretty angel.
Stay strong gal and remember this is not your fault we cannot change what is done, but we can prepare ourselves for the next angel
 

lovearth

Member
Thanks Xtinee..
Ya to get back my health back & be stronger than before is the least I can do for my next baby.
Is difficult to get over it but I'll continue to try & hope all gals with similar experiences recently will be strong again.
Let's work hard together..
 
dear girl
Big hug to you !!
yes, your baby is a obedient and considerate baby who want the best for you.
he knows your love for him and he will surely come back to be your child again.
I believe you can sincerely chant in your heart, requesting him to come back again, he will do so...
Next time round, he will come back as a healthy baby to you.
if you need anyone to talk to, you can PM me too.

Just to let you know (i think you might be a buddhist).
Last year, i did a Chao Du for my M/C baby at Temple (Most temples usually have a mass ritual during 7th Month)
The Singapore Buddhist Lodge have one every year during 7th Month.
I did it because i wanted my m/c baby to go in peace.

Now, please do a very good confinement to nurse your health back, to warm your womb

for mini confinement:
- replace plain water with Dried Longans + Red Dates + Ginger Tea for 2 weeks to 1 month
- eat plenty of food cooked with Sesame Oil + Ginger
- Sleep Early and wear socks to sleep.
- have plenty of bed rest
- Do not carry heavy thing for this one month.
- if someone cooking for you, take the usual confinement food everyday.
- you can drink chicken essence too.
- once bleeding stop, you can start to drink 8zhen & shi quan da bu weekly.
- if you want, you can drink DOM frequently to warm your womb. My TCM advised me to add DOM to 8zhen.
 

lovearth

Member
Hi gals can I ask is it normal to have occassion backache & cramping feelin after d&c? If u gals oso have the same problem how long will it last? And how long usually the next period will come? If I'm drinking dom every night will it prolong my bleeding? Sorry ask loads of Q.. hope u gals can enlighten me, thanks..
 

Xtinee

Member
Hi lovearth, yes i have pain for quite some time after the d&c. Period will depends, some may take up to 2months, takes 1-2cycle for your period to.regulate, my first period came 1.5mths later.
Do not take any herbal or tonic before the blood ends, as some herbal will improve blood circulation and prolong the bleed, wait till the blood stops, then start to take.
The blood i remember last around 2-4days then stopped, but i heard differ from person to person.
 

lovearth

Member
Oh thanks Xtinee for ur prompt reply. I did not take herbal soup but can I take dom at night?. I found my feet quite cold.
 

Xtinee

Member
I went tcm after my d&c she says dont take anything, dom is a tonic so dont take.... once its clean can take bai feng pills or dom
 

lovearth

Member
Ok thanks Xtinee. I jus take normal dishes with rice wine & ginger. Then replace plain water with red dates logan tea. I think at the time being like tis shd be fine bah...hope my period can come soon :(
 
Hi lovearth... I'm truly sorry for your loss and understand how devastated you feel. I had almost the same situation as yours. However, I'm glad you were able to share your experience with us in the forum, meaning you're very brave to face what happened to yourself :)

I had a miscarriage on the 1st April (I know right, April fool). I started with minimal spotting a day before the 1st April, hoped for the best it was old blood, I even went to see gynae(in JB & I'm from JB) to confirm the caused, was on progesterone to support the pregnancy since few weeks ago. The gynae did a scan, fetus showed 1.5cm, was told I'm about 6 weeks into pregnancy and said spotting is normal. In my heart, I had a bad feeling coz I did a scan 2 weeks back, fetus was 5wk2d already at 0.61cm, meaning my fetus should age 7-8weeks by now. Sadly, I started to spot more on monday with bits & pieces of brownish thingy, slowly I see red. Talked to my gynae(in sg), she told me fetus is not growing accordingly and I'm in the process of mc.*I tried not to walk and rest on my bed a lot thinking maybe the gynae was wrong, but I was wrong...

2nd April was the worst day of my life, fetus decided to come out when I was in the bathroom. My sg gynae(I'm gonna stick to her since most gynae sucks in jb) did an ultrasound and say I have little clots left in my uterus to clear and was given antibiotic.

Perhaps I shouldn't have told my family members during 1st trimester and silly me still continue with cardio routine. Well, at least I'm confident to say, I will once again graduate from here with healthy pregnancy really soon and of course will stay out from all strenuous activities!

I've done 2 weeks confinement. Taking red date+longan+dang shen drink everyday up till now. Family members cooked me dishes that contained lots of ginger & sesame oil/rice wine/dom, pork liver, spinach, 8zhen and many more. Cover myself very well for the first 2 weeks. I'm currently taking TCM to regulate my qi and uterus functions.

Sorry for posting such a long thread. I do hope you will soon feel better, be it physically or mentally. Hoping you find my post helpful. Stay positive and jovial during your resting period, I'm sure you will be blessed with very healthy and happy pregnancy soonest!! Let's us JiaYou!! ;)
 

lovearth

Member
Dear audiencemama
Actually I'm not brave I still cried until today. Whenever I recalled back the joy of knowing I'm pregnant one mth ago or see the photo which I have my first scan I'll burst into tears again. Till now I can't believe such things will happen to me. But slowly as day passed by, I keep telling myself I shouldn't continue to grief over it as my baby might be waiting for me to be ready. This makes me want to recover asap. I'm still working hard on that. I'm a negative person but tis incident teach me I've to be positive if not my health will become worse & it will be danger again to my baby next time.
Thanks for sharing ur story to me. As u said, let's jia you together & all the best to myself & all of us :)
 
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