My coming 3 year old doesn't like going to school...

[mich_liu82]

I have recently send my 2nd DD to childcare.

Today is the 5th day and she has been crying non stop that she dun 1 to go. I have no choice but to force her to go as my maid is leaving soon and I will be w/o a maid for at least a month, if not I can't cope with 3 kids at home. my 1st DD is alright but I have a newborn as well...

1st 2 days of school, she was alright bcoz the elder sis was with her. Then 3rd day till now, every morning she will cry alot.

when my 1st DD went to childcare last time, she was like this too, but not for so many days...

and when she is at the school, teacher told me she doesn't want to eat at all... Breakfast, lunch, tea break... When she's at home, she is like this too. Very fussy eater... Then they had to decieve her into eating at least a few spoonful.

I dun really doubt this childcare ability bcoz my elder DD was from there too and some of her teachers are still there. And also one of my classmate is teaching there too.

Sigh, I really wonder how long will this continue.

 

[stonston]

at my boy's CC, got a boy cried for 3 weeks. NON STOP. he onli stop to breathe.
morning he reach, he cry n cry n cry n cry. teachers pacify him, carry him, etc etc also no use. cry non-stop. then suddenly 3 weeks later he stopped crying during the day and will join in the activities. onli cry for ard an hour when reach.

some kids need more time to adjust.
for my boy we made effort to pick him up earlier during first few weeks then slowly lengthen the time he is at CC.

oh ya, we also packed his lunch there for him cos at first he was not used to the CC's food.

 

[Ting]

hmmm, only 5 days leh.
pin only stabled down after 2 weeks.
but maybe she is quite socialble tts y after i put her down she cry a while then teacher sayang n see her classmates she okay liao.
give her some time to adjust.
normally 1st week let her go half day lo.
then 2nd week let her go thruout.
she's sure to feel insecure cos almost 3 yrs hv mummy with her all the time.
kids need time to adapt n diff kids take diff amt of time.
when u leave her there, just reassure her u r gg to work(or wherever u need to go) n tt u will pick her up after tt.
after picking her, ask her how's her day at sch? what she learnt n did with her frens?
get her to be interested.

last time, when pin just started, i will ask her what songs she learnt in sch, did tr bring her to the play ground to play? i ask her wat she ate in sch n get her engage more in her sch activities.
then now when she's home she will automatically tell us what she did in sch, etc.

 

[stonston]

ting, my son will onli keep singing the songs they sang in school and he'll keep dancing and making us dance with him!

 

[Ting]

haha pin also like to make us dance with her.
lol.
but she can remix her own song and change her lyrics herself .
damn funny.
maybe can buy him dvds to watch to let him and learn new songs?
i giving pin watch barney, and they have alot of very nice songs!(though i dont like barney)
hehe.

normally, i will ask pin what she did in sch today,n did her teacher bring her to the garden? (the sch hv this practise to bring them to a nearby garden on tues n fris) then ask her what she saw in the garden..?
just anyhow ask lor. hahahahaha. n i ask her what she ate today. like rice? porridge? chicken? fish?
then she will tell me lor.

 

[mich_liu82]

My DD will keep on tellin me she dun 1 to go school. she say school notty, teacher notty. I ask her why den she said bcoz she dun want to eat n teacher ask her to eat. I left her der till 5pm everyday for the past 5 days...

Then when i force her go school, she say dun 1 mummy, dun love mummy... Haiz...

 

[Lotus]

My dear daughter will keep on tellin me she dont 1 to go school. she say school notty, teacher notty. I ask her why then she said bcoz she dont want to eat and teacher ask her to eat. I left her der till 5pm everyday for the past 5 days...

Then when i force her go school, she say dont 1 mummy, dont love mummy... Haiz...

How long does she cry for when you leave her? If it's very short then I would say she's testing you to try and take her back home. Also talk to her teachers about how they think she's going. I do feel teachers have experience in seeing all types of children and can give you an indication whether they think it's only a phase, as 5 days really isn't long, or whether it really may be too soon for her to start school.

Also what is her temperament like? My son likes to have a tantrum and cry to get waht he wants so for us it's been 3 months and he still cries when I leave him at school but only for a few minutes.

 

[mich_liu82]

How long does she cry for when you leave her? If it's very short then I would say she's testing you to try and take her back home. Also talk to her teachers about how they think she's going. I do feel teachers have experience in seeing all types of children and can give you an indication whether they think it's only a phase, as 5 days really isn't long, or whether it really may be too soon for her to start school.

Also what is her temperament like? My son likes to have a tantrum and cry to get waht he wants so for us it's been 3 months and he still cries when I leave him at school but only for a few minutes.

She cry from home lor, say dun wanna go school. Cry all the way till school, den we leave already still cry. But when we pick her up, she is ok. But next day she will be the same again...

Her temperament? Wah, she little devil but I like no choice gotta force her go... N everytime see her cry I so heart pain, den feel like I so ruthless to send her to school. But I really cannot cope with having 3 alone by myself...

 

[choiceessentials]

Speaking of cry babies. I used to have two cry babies. My older one was slightly better than the younger one.. at least she cried quietly.

My younger one was very notorious.. she would cry as loudly as she could.. till she vomitted. If you say it's horrifying and heart pain.. honestly, I agree. It was a nightmare!! To that extent, I went to check with a child psychologist and her Pediatrician.

Both told me that I just can't soften myself.. and not to bring her to school. If I were to do that.. she has 'won' tbe battle.

Instead, have to talk to her.. analyse why is she cyring? Feeling nervous coz it s a new environment.. didn't like the programme... her/his friend bullies her.. or???

For my child.. she gave so many reasons why she needed to stay home, running out of reasons, she told her teacher that her stuff toy - Hello Kitty needed her.

I must say the teachers were very well-trained.. experienced, reassuring... they assured me my kids were in their good hands.

As I was telling another Mummy, the teacher found out that she was able to read very well... hence she was made to read to the class daily.. that's the way to distract her and also, to get her more involved ... group leader.. etc. and this has really helped her and managed to snap her crying.

Hence, Mummies, we just have to be tough....talk to them, reassuring them this is part of growing up.. cite examples of their cousins... neighbours' kids..etc. Reassure them that they are in a fun and comfortable environment.

Very important to work closely with the Teachers. Talk to them about your child so that they can understand them better and know how to address them while at school.

 

[stonston]

Mich, I think it's quite normal for her to behave this way. Many changes in her life right now:
- New baby at home
- New school/teachers
- New routine because of school

I think you can assure her every morning that you will pick her up at the end of the day and that you still love her alot. Tell her the purpose of going to school (I always tell my boy tt's he's a big boy and big boys go to school to learn things). Try to find an activity in school which she enjoys and remind her that it's going to be fun when they do it in school (my son loves singing and dancing). I think they're very smart to try to test our patience but we have to learn to be in control. Not giving in in one of it.

I think your gal needs alot of assurance. Spend some time talking to her. Tell her she needs to go to school to learn things so that she can be a clever girl. I think she feels threatend by baby, jus assure her

 

[mich_liu82]

Today I actually didn't let her go to school. But again she start her nonsense. Just last night till 1 hour ago she was alright. And her nonsense start again. I cannot tahan...

And again she refuse to eat, refuse to drink milk. On strike again...

 

[choiceessentials]

That's part of growing pain. Every child is unique.

Fully understand how frustrated and stressful it is... been there, done it. Indeed nightmarish.

But what to do.. cannot 'tahan' also got to. No choice.

Take care of your sanity... find outlets to destress.

One of the immediate ways... bo-chap for a while and take deep breathing while closing your eyes.

Must take good care of your health. Can get high blood pressure.

 

[mich_liu82]

That's part of growing pain. Every child is unique.

Fully understand how frustrated and stressful it is... been there, done it. Indeed nightmarish.

But what to do.. cannot 'tahan' also got to. No choice.

Take care of your sanity... find outlets to destress.

One of the immediate ways... bo-chap for a while and take deep breathing while closing your eyes.

Must take good care of your health. Can get high blood pressure.

I will... Thanks... My hubby brought her to my in laws place...

 

[Ting]

i guess she still need time to adapt.
everyone needs time to adapt to a new environment n new routine.
n whats more, she's only 3 n she doesnt understand alot of things.
n she doesnt know how to express her feelings as well, so she prob get frustrated n cry, which what all kids do.

 

[mich_liu82]

Today is her 3rd day of not going to school. Sigh... My MIL will help me take her to school till 20th June.

At least now she is eating...

 

[Daddy D]

Today is her 3rd day of not going to school. Sigh... My mother in law will help me take her to school till 20th June.

At least now she is eating...

Have u/MIL tried sitting-in during class? I tot usually the sch will let parent sit in if the kid cannot settle down in class.
I encountered this boy in my dd's nursery class... everyday cry... the parents/MIL took turns to sit in the whole lesson everyday... luckily it's only 2 hrs... carried on for 3 months at least...

Or any change in sleeping arrangement? Since u have newborn.
My dd very grouchy after we got her to sleep in her own bedroom... this week switched back to sleeping with us... like an angel now

 

[shaynamommy]

When my 5yo started school when she was 2, my maid sat in with her for more than 6mths! Principal allowed it cos she thinks that my dd came from a dysfunctional family cos both daddy n me travel almost weekly for work. She thus had v bad separation anxiety. When I was told that it was time to wean her, girl went hysterical. Recalled that every am was a nightmare- she'd scream n cry and even banged the bedroom door! I was gritting my teeth then, dragged her into the car, carried her to the school door with her wailing n screaming. I didn't even look back but my heart was bleeding on my way to office. The teachers then sent me a SMS as soon as she stopped crying. This went on for 3 days.

My take is that aT the age of 3, they should be able to adapt quickly but the kid is smart enuf to try to pon-tan. U need to be firm with them if u rule out other problems with the school. Good luck, just need to 'ren

 

[mich_liu82]

Have you/mother in law tried sitting-in during class? I thought usually the sch will let parent sit in if the kid cannot settle down in class.
I encountered this boy in my dear daughter's nursery class... everyday cry... the parents/mother in law took turns to sit in the whole lesson everyday... luckily it's only 2 hours... carried on for 3 months at least...

Or any change in sleeping arrangement? Since you have newborn.
My dear daughter very grouchy after we got her to sleep in her own bedroom... this week switched back to sleeping with us... like an angel now

1st 2 days, my elder #1 DD sat in with her whole day, she was ok... Den 3rd day to 5th day everyday we gotta sending her to school crying...

Then today and last 2 days neva send her lor... Haiz, 2moro MIL gonna help me send her... Crossing my fingers...

Actually when she is at school, teacher say she stop crying 5 mins after we left, the only thing is that she refuse to eat lor...

Sleeping? She still sleeping with me lor, DH sleep on the floor... NB sleep on the baby cot...

 

[mich_liu82]

When my 5yo started school when she was 2, my maid sat in with her for more than 6mths! Principal allowed it cos she thinks that my dear daughter came from a dysfunctional family cos both daddy and me travel almost weekly for work. She thus had very bad separation anxiety. When I was told that it was time to wean her, girl went hysterical. Recalled that every am was a nightmare- she'd scream and cry and even banged the bedroom door! I was gritting my teeth then, dragged her into the car, carried her to the school door with her wailing and screaming. I didn't even look back but my heart was bleeding on my way to office. The teachers then sent me a SMS as soon as she stopped crying. This went on for 3 days.

My take is that aT the age of 3, they should be able to adapt quickly but the kid is smart enuf to try to pon-tan. you need to be firm with them if you rule out other problems with the school. Good luck, just need to 'ren

I hope I can...

 

[LoveBebe]

kids normally need some time to adapt a new environment.
it's normal for them to cry and not wanting to go to school.
or you should sit in and accompany her for a few days?
then maybe you can see the reasons why she doesn't want to eat there?