my first pregnancy but miscarriage
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mrsvistamio
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mrsvistamio
Member
I went for 2nd review w doc Su, she ask me continue with daily dose of DOM, nothing much updates..
sex after miscarriage
I misarried for about 2 weeks now. It was my 1st pegnancy. My bb was already 12 weeks n the doc confirmed it was a boy. I was very heart broken when i knew i miscarried. Even my husband was very sad about this tragic news. I kept on blaming myself for what happend bcos the day i misscarried i was moving a heavy sofa on my own that morning i pee all was normal not even a hint of a sigle blood n my urine was normal. At 12 noon i started to feel a sharp contraction on my lower abdomen the same situation when i have my period but this pain was very very painful , around 12:30 noon i started bleeding bt nt much and a water came out heavily and i went to hospital . The doc ultrascan me said that my uterus was empty and there was a black thing on the side of my vagina after that all i knew my bb came out n i cried as hard as i could. No one can never imagine how painful it was to look at ur own bb having eyes , hand feet. And i get to kiss his head bfore my familu buried him. We named him don daniel..
Even after today i still cried for it everytime i remember those days. My question is is it okay to have sex aftwr 2 weeks of misscarriage? We didt planned to do it we were comforting each other and then one thing led to another. So please if any of you who can give me some advise i would appriciate it alot. Thanks n sorry for the ling txt...
I misarried for about 2 weeks now. It was my 1st pegnancy. My bb was already 12 weeks n the doc confirmed it was a boy. I was very heart broken when i knew i miscarried. Even my husband was very sad about this tragic news. I kept on blaming myself for what happend bcos the day i misscarried i was moving a heavy sofa on my own that morning i pee all was normal not even a hint of a sigle blood n my urine was normal. At 12 noon i started to feel a sharp contraction on my lower abdomen the same situation when i have my period but this pain was very very painful , around 12:30 noon i started bleeding bt nt much and a water came out heavily and i went to hospital . The doc ultrascan me said that my uterus was empty and there was a black thing on the side of my vagina after that all i knew my bb came out n i cried as hard as i could. No one can never imagine how painful it was to look at ur own bb having eyes , hand feet. And i get to kiss his head bfore my familu buried him. We named him don daniel..
Even after today i still cried for it everytime i remember those days. My question is is it okay to have sex aftwr 2 weeks of misscarriage? We didt planned to do it we were comforting each other and then one thing led to another. So please if any of you who can give me some advise i would appriciate it alot. Thanks n sorry for the ling txt...
faithmummy
Member
Re: sex after miscarriage
Hi tristiana
Please do not blame yourself,its not your fault. Throughout the months since i miscarried, i have learnt that there is almost nothing we can do to stop miscarriage from happening. Its our body nature's way of purging unhealthy babies from our body. At least, our babies will not come to this world to suffer... its definitely not because you carried heavy things...
Do a mini confinement now. Take very good care of your health. Avoid cold stuff, and continue tonic... wear socks to sleep ... gain back your health and try again. Very soon, our babies will come back to us again. They love us and would not want to see us cry...
I fully understand how u feel because i lost my bb at 8th week.... be strong and do not give up!!
You can always pm me if you need someone to talk to....
Hi tristiana
Please do not blame yourself,its not your fault. Throughout the months since i miscarried, i have learnt that there is almost nothing we can do to stop miscarriage from happening. Its our body nature's way of purging unhealthy babies from our body. At least, our babies will not come to this world to suffer... its definitely not because you carried heavy things...
Do a mini confinement now. Take very good care of your health. Avoid cold stuff, and continue tonic... wear socks to sleep ... gain back your health and try again. Very soon, our babies will come back to us again. They love us and would not want to see us cry...
I fully understand how u feel because i lost my bb at 8th week.... be strong and do not give up!!
You can always pm me if you need someone to talk to....
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Dragontail
Active Member
Sorry to hear of your difficult ordeal, Trist.
Most ladies who miscarriaged went through similar healing process as you're now. Do not withhold your saddness...it's one of the most difficult times one could possibly imagine. Talk it out with your loved ones, have someone hold you and lend you a shoulder to cry on. Join a support group if you may.
"Surprisingly", miscarriage is quite common, as far as I've read and observed. It doesn't happen just because the mummy-to-be didnt have few nights of early rest, or forgot to take her folic acid, etc. The baby just wasn't ready or medically healthy to come to full term. It's just nature way of elminating the less "perfect". This happens in all the animal kingdom. So yes, blaming ourselves is the last thing to do as there's really nothing we could take control over of.
The next most important thing is to see what's ahead. You have to get your health back to a good level so as to prepare your body to conceiving again. Keep your prayer and mind positive. Time will heal. And time will show you a positive enlightenment.
My baby stopped his heartbeat at 13 weeks old. It has been 3 months.... Now I'm all ready to try again for a baby one more round.
Be strong and keep the faith, Trist.
Most ladies who miscarriaged went through similar healing process as you're now. Do not withhold your saddness...it's one of the most difficult times one could possibly imagine. Talk it out with your loved ones, have someone hold you and lend you a shoulder to cry on. Join a support group if you may.
"Surprisingly", miscarriage is quite common, as far as I've read and observed. It doesn't happen just because the mummy-to-be didnt have few nights of early rest, or forgot to take her folic acid, etc. The baby just wasn't ready or medically healthy to come to full term. It's just nature way of elminating the less "perfect". This happens in all the animal kingdom. So yes, blaming ourselves is the last thing to do as there's really nothing we could take control over of.
The next most important thing is to see what's ahead. You have to get your health back to a good level so as to prepare your body to conceiving again. Keep your prayer and mind positive. Time will heal. And time will show you a positive enlightenment.
My baby stopped his heartbeat at 13 weeks old. It has been 3 months.... Now I'm all ready to try again for a baby one more round.
Be strong and keep the faith, Trist.
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mrsvistamio
Member
I don't think I want to try again,. Thought of going for ligation ..
rachelleling
Member
I lost my second baby at 9 weeks as baby has no heartbeat.
It is common for miscarriages to happen during the first trimester. In fact, i read that sometimes, we dun even know we had miscarriages as the fertilised egg did not implant itself well and is washed out together with our menstrual blood.
In any case, i always rem what my colleague told me. she said that the miscarriaged baby will come back to you if you sincerely pray that he/she comes back. I beleive so. i had a feeling that the baby i lost was a gal. then, when i was preg again third time, immediately i knew she came back and true enough, i have a baby gal.
oh yes, we are very fertile just rt after miscarriage. I got preg the second mth after the miscarriage. in fact, i was asking doc after i had the d n c when can i try again. doc said if i m mentally ok, i can try asap. so i tried and got preg.
It is common for miscarriages to happen during the first trimester. In fact, i read that sometimes, we dun even know we had miscarriages as the fertilised egg did not implant itself well and is washed out together with our menstrual blood.
In any case, i always rem what my colleague told me. she said that the miscarriaged baby will come back to you if you sincerely pray that he/she comes back. I beleive so. i had a feeling that the baby i lost was a gal. then, when i was preg again third time, immediately i knew she came back and true enough, i have a baby gal.
oh yes, we are very fertile just rt after miscarriage. I got preg the second mth after the miscarriage. in fact, i was asking doc after i had the d n c when can i try again. doc said if i m mentally ok, i can try asap. so i tried and got preg.
mrsvistamio
Member
I wait for one year yet nothing happens, it is just fate playing a fool on me..so I m not pinning any hope ..
Dragontail
Active Member
In my opinion, having a kid eventually or not is not all that big important. Although I would like to have one, but if fate says I won't, then we can just take in our stride and focus on many other things that can be fulfilling too.
Life's too short to be too hard on ourselves.
Life's too short to be too hard on ourselves.
faithmummy
Member
Rachelleling
thanks for sharing your story with us... it motivates me !!!!
Yes !! Same as you, i really believe that my baby will come back... !!!
mrsvistamio
Please do not give up, i have friends who tried for years.... but still optimistic....
just relax and do not give yourself too much stress.
you will succeed de !!! most importantly is the love and relationship between you and your hubby, getting stronger during this period...
thanks for sharing your story with us... it motivates me !!!!
Yes !! Same as you, i really believe that my baby will come back... !!!
mrsvistamio
Please do not give up, i have friends who tried for years.... but still optimistic....
just relax and do not give yourself too much stress.
you will succeed de !!! most importantly is the love and relationship between you and your hubby, getting stronger during this period...
mrsvistamio
Member
Faith mummy, I suddenly feel that people are so selfish.. My Hb relative say I cannot lay egg when they know of my miscarriage yet act 虚伪.i don't need their nonsense word . So I tell Hb please tell everyone we don't want anymore kids!! Only cash is king now!
faithmummy
Member
Mrsvistamio,don't let outsiders affect your ttc mood and spoilt your relationship with your hubby. You and your hubby are important to each other, so is the futurre baby to come.... u know happy or sad mood can affect the ability to ttc.... try to stay happy!!!!!
faithmummy
Member
Its really not worth to let selfish people to cause so much stress in u, affecting your health too. The more they look down, the more u must show them what u capable of...
mrsvistamio
Member
I think I m sad most of the time, so much Kaypo gossiping ..I don't think abt Ttc anymore.. Need to travel for work quote frequent so no need to think abt Ttc..anyway , thanks for ur console , baby dust to you! Hope to hear the good news from you
SarahGurbuxani-Carpio
Moderator
Hi faithmummy,
I feel for you. I can definitely understand why there is so much sadness- losing a child is the worst thing that can happen to a mother. However, please do not be hard on yourself. There are things that even though we don't understand happen. Now let us say, there might be something that you did that triggered it, but be certain that it was not your sole burden. It happened because it had to.
People are right. There is still life after the death of your baby. It is hard to move on, but you have to. Remember your husband who keeps on supporting you. You aren't the only one grieving, but he is too. Support each other because this is the time you need each other the most. If there is anyway that you can do so that you will not be swayed by the wind of utter loneliness, do so. And I would like to commend you for opening up here in our group. This is what mummysg is for, to support each mother who goes through things such as this.
For now, cry if you have to. But always remember that even Faith (your baby) wouldn't want his mom to drown in sadness and hopelessness.
Things will be better.
Lovelots,
Sarah
I feel for you. I can definitely understand why there is so much sadness- losing a child is the worst thing that can happen to a mother. However, please do not be hard on yourself. There are things that even though we don't understand happen. Now let us say, there might be something that you did that triggered it, but be certain that it was not your sole burden. It happened because it had to.
People are right. There is still life after the death of your baby. It is hard to move on, but you have to. Remember your husband who keeps on supporting you. You aren't the only one grieving, but he is too. Support each other because this is the time you need each other the most. If there is anyway that you can do so that you will not be swayed by the wind of utter loneliness, do so. And I would like to commend you for opening up here in our group. This is what mummysg is for, to support each mother who goes through things such as this.
For now, cry if you have to. But always remember that even Faith (your baby) wouldn't want his mom to drown in sadness and hopelessness.
Things will be better.
Lovelots,
Sarah
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faithmummy
Member
mrsvistamio
thanks !!!
i heard some people say they got pregnant after they give up T-T-C-ing .....
because they feel much more relaxed ..... it's good that you don't think about it anymore... it will just come like that without you realising
faithmummy
Member
Sarah
This happened about five months ago... and I am alright now... i had let go the whole thing and i know my bb is in a safe place now..... Nevertheless, I am very very very Touched by your Reply and your words of consolation..... I will work hard and learn from this lesson.... and yes !!! Let's help one another here and make this forum a nice place to be in....
good to be
Member
Dear ladies, may I know whether is there any possibility that we can produce milk during pregnancy for 8 weeks after miscarriage?
Dragontail
Active Member
Yes it’s possible. You body sends your brain a signal that you have to produce milk once placenta has been dispelled (delivery/D&C). Some women in that situation experience it for weeks, some for months. You can use cold fresh Chinese cabbage and place them over the breasts to comfort and ease off the milk producing.