my hubby looks like have change after our baby is born

[AnonymousMummy]

hello, everyone, I'm Esther Ong from Woodlands.

my hubby looks like have change after our baby is born, try asking him, is there anythings
wrong or problems with him, he say, nothing wrong.

I know, few month back to now, I'm busy taking care our new born baby, no spend time with
him. also problems with my previous CL & ML, terminate her early due to her performance
not so satisfy. I have to do myself all alone.

sometimes baby cry, day tme cry, night time cry, he seems like cannot stand it, like making
him so irritating, sometime he rather sleep alone next room then sleep with us (me N baby).

also, he sometime, man problems, "needs", problems too, dont know how now.

any advice from experience mummies ?

 

[quincy1986]

is this your first child?
there are men who are very stressed by babies.
maybe at this moment try to understand that he does not want to vent his stress at you, so he sleep in the other room.
when you say men's needs, you mean that you have just given birth so it's not convenient for you right?
one very important way to solve your problem is communication.
the biggest problems between couples is they don't share or express what is wrong.
you see if you can talk to him, message him or worse still, even if you have to quarrel with him, get him to say what is wrong.
if not...you try and see if you can let him have his cooling period.
like i mention before, some guys can be very stressed by babies to the extent that they can be depressed.
and do remember to show some care for him in case he thinks you care more for baby than you care for him.

 

[AnonymousMummy]

hi quincy1986, thanks for reading my thread.

yes, our 1st baby boy.
I guess too, but he don't one to tell me is our baby making him stressed & depressed, sleep alone other room.
yes, just give birth, going 1 month soon.
we still have good communication, just seldom talk about those things, I guess he knows too I still not fully
recovery after birth.
I natural birth, not ready yet to have sex with him. I hear that painful when doing back again 1st few times.
quarrel once awhile got, every couples have also.
I do care about him, but that time I'm busy taking care our new born baby, is not easy for me 1st time
mummy, no experience.

I hope things will be better now as our new CL came last Sunday, can spend sometime with him later.

 

[quincy1986]

we still have good communication, just seldom talk about those things >>> good communication means for example, for my hubby whatever i ask him he will answer.
he never see if it is not good time or what

then i think maybe your problem already solve since u say your CL is here?

 

[AnonymousMummy]

still not yet, as I need to check my new CL work performance, whether she do as what we instruct her to do.

mine answer what I ask him to do also, just need abit nag nag nag only he do.

 

[quincy1986]

so then hope you are better with your hubby now

 

[AnonymousMummy]

yes, I hope so too. 1 settle, still 1 more, don't know how too ?

last time, how you cope this problems when you just give birth ?

 

[quincy1986]

my husband does not seperate himself from me and bb.
sometimes he will bring bb to another room and sleep because he is worried i will be too tired from taking care of bb.
but he did tell me that he is stress when bb cry and he is trying to manage his stress.

 

[AnonymousMummy]

let's discuss & shared & send to my email friendlyestherong@gmail.com if you are OK.

 

[quincy1986]

not convenient to access my email. i have sent to your private message.

 

[Triple]

Whatever issues exist, my advice is .. do not forget that u are still a woman that needs to have confidence and maintenance.

 

[AnonymousMummy]

sorry, what do you mean "maintenance" ?

 

[quincy1986]

means maintain yourself pretty pretty...dont grow old too fast from taking care of baby.

 

[Triple]

Yes.. even though u are a spouse, a mom, u shd still be attractive to guys.
Don't be a naggy frustrated aunty who thinks the whole world owes you.
Be pretty, confident, and relevant to today's environment.
Be happy for yourself, not derive happiness from others.

 

[AnonymousMummy]

I still looks good even after I give birth, still sexy slim body too.
nag nag nag, if not somebody wont do the work, need to be told then only do.
tomorrow my friend friend who work in hair salon, coming to my house do rebonding to my hair.

 

[Triple]

He's your hubby not your child, AsiaOne Diva News

Don't make this mistake.

 

[quincy1986]

don't know leh AnonymousMummy u seem negative leh do you think so?

 

[AnonymousMummy]

maybe from what I been thought by my parent, can say I abit old fashion thinking,
what should & should not be do by man, what should & should not be do by women etc.
also duties as a mother & wife too

 

[quincy1986]

what i see here is you are putting yourself in a lot of guessing in what your husband is doing.
you are not sure if anything has happen or not.
unless you find out or you will just keep guessing and guessing and after guessing for long time, it may become a big issue.
do you think your guessing or worrying is healthy?

 

[AnonymousMummy]

yes, those guessing around really make me headache.

I dont think what I'm guessing now is not a small or big issue, something might effect my hubby health or mind in future.