Kokura
Member
The 12 Christmas babies AND their miracle stories. Let's not give up ladies! Let's wipe away our tears & trudge on!
http://www.zitawest.com/12-days-of-christmas-babies/
http://www.zitawest.com/12-days-of-christmas-babies/
My IVF Success Story
- Thread starter Kokura
- Start date
Kokura
Member
I thought I would like to share an inspiring e-mail with you as I like what he said. Look out for the paragraph that starts with " The key..." It is from Andrew Loosely, a chinese medicine fertility expert from the UK. Perhaps you might agree with him too!
True to its forecast, last year was full of mishaps and surprises, and extra stress for many people …
Thankfully, the year of the Rooster is expected to bring challenges in a way we can better anticipate and deal with. Challenges, as hard as they can be sometimes, stimulate our growth.
And all growth requires a degree of discomfort, but will result in positive outcomes on many levels - including making you stronger and clearer about your life and purpose, if you let it.
Your fertility journey can be used as a catalyst for growth in many areas of your life, and not just in having your baby.
I know from our conversations that you have learnt lots about diet, lifestyle options, treatments and mindset to help you to reach better health. In this learning process you are growing and discovering new things that will lead you to a better place for yourself, your future baby, and your family.
So in this upcoming new year I challenge you to embrace and accept your challenges as much as you can, and lets work this situation out for you!
I believe there is a solution to every fertility and life presentation, and I know from my nearly 20 years experience of treating thousands of people, that it is possible - you can do it!!
You just need the right tools and support, and some time and a focused mindset.
The key is to be committed to your goal of having your baby, but not attached to it. This means that you take action on every level to achieve it, and make the necessary changes, but you stay emotionally calm and focused and on some level unattached to the outcome. This is what many refer to when they say - "let go and it will happen".
It's a state of being committed to your goal, but remaining happy, and positive and grateful for the life you already have now without your baby. When you experience that, you live your life fully and your baby is an amazing bonus when he or she arrives.
So, embrace the challenges and let them help you to grow in every area of your life and become strong and resilient (like a tree growing against all adversity and challenges, and using them to power it's way upwards to the sun) and think of what a wonderful start to your babies' life that will be - to have a mum and dad that are so grateful for them being born, and that can teach them the best way to stay healthy, positively focused and committed but not attached to life's experiences
Just my thoughts as we near the end of this tough year of the mischievous Fire Monkey!
Lots of love and best wishes on your journey in 2017.
I'm here on it with you and I've got your back! <3
Come and join me over in my Closed Facebook Group for more FREE support: CLICK HERE TO JOIN
Best wishes
Andrew Loosely | Chinese Medicine Fertility Expert, Author and Speaker
Lic.OHM, DCHAc, Dip.CH, MURHP, MCMIR
Creator of The Baby Creating Plan - The 3 Step Formula to Having Your Baby
www.NaturalFertilityExpert.com
Published Author, Writer and Presenter for:
True to its forecast, last year was full of mishaps and surprises, and extra stress for many people …
Thankfully, the year of the Rooster is expected to bring challenges in a way we can better anticipate and deal with. Challenges, as hard as they can be sometimes, stimulate our growth.
And all growth requires a degree of discomfort, but will result in positive outcomes on many levels - including making you stronger and clearer about your life and purpose, if you let it.
Your fertility journey can be used as a catalyst for growth in many areas of your life, and not just in having your baby.
I know from our conversations that you have learnt lots about diet, lifestyle options, treatments and mindset to help you to reach better health. In this learning process you are growing and discovering new things that will lead you to a better place for yourself, your future baby, and your family.
So in this upcoming new year I challenge you to embrace and accept your challenges as much as you can, and lets work this situation out for you!
I believe there is a solution to every fertility and life presentation, and I know from my nearly 20 years experience of treating thousands of people, that it is possible - you can do it!!
You just need the right tools and support, and some time and a focused mindset.
The key is to be committed to your goal of having your baby, but not attached to it. This means that you take action on every level to achieve it, and make the necessary changes, but you stay emotionally calm and focused and on some level unattached to the outcome. This is what many refer to when they say - "let go and it will happen".
It's a state of being committed to your goal, but remaining happy, and positive and grateful for the life you already have now without your baby. When you experience that, you live your life fully and your baby is an amazing bonus when he or she arrives.
So, embrace the challenges and let them help you to grow in every area of your life and become strong and resilient (like a tree growing against all adversity and challenges, and using them to power it's way upwards to the sun) and think of what a wonderful start to your babies' life that will be - to have a mum and dad that are so grateful for them being born, and that can teach them the best way to stay healthy, positively focused and committed but not attached to life's experiences
Just my thoughts as we near the end of this tough year of the mischievous Fire Monkey!
Lots of love and best wishes on your journey in 2017.
I'm here on it with you and I've got your back!
<3Come and join me over in my Closed Facebook Group for more FREE support: CLICK HERE TO JOIN
Best wishes
Lic.OHM, DCHAc, Dip.CH, MURHP, MCMIR
Creator of The Baby Creating Plan - The 3 Step Formula to Having Your Baby
www.NaturalFertilityExpert.com
Published Author, Writer and Presenter for:
Kokura
Member
A failed IVF cycle brings mental & emotional devastation. Pinning all our hopes along each step of the IVF only to be told the egg had failed to fertilize/implant successfully... It must be a total heart wreck. Tear after tear, tissue after tissue, truly sorrow has no end... In this newsletter, Russell, Fertility Specialist Advisor to The National Council of Hypnotherapy UK, wrote about this in this week's newsletter.
Hi, I hope you are well. Welcome to this weeks newsletter.
I often get contacted by people who have just had a failed an IVF cycle or their period has started again for another month. The are reaching out for some advice and support. So I thought I would share some words about that here.
An unsuccessful IVF cycle or BFN can be devastating. So often I meet women who were striving towards their goal of getting pregnant with such focus and dedication sometimes they can fail to recognise the struggle the journey can be. They can fail to acknowledge how tough this can be physically and emotionally.
I'll never forget my first fertility client. Michelle was 39 and had just completed her third IVF which was unsuccessful. She came to see me on the recommendation of her gynaecologist. She was planning to go straight into a fourth cycle for a number of reasons. One was that the previous cycle, although unsuccessful showed positive signs and the clinic were encouraging about another cycle with a slight change in protocol. She was also 39 so in her mind approaching the dreaded (and made up) 40 ‘cutoff’. She also felt an unspoken pressure from her husband and family to continue as soon as possible because they were also scared about time running out.
Most people underestimate the level of stress that this journey can create. A Harvard Medical School study demonstrated that the stress levels of women experiencing infertility were equivalent to those with AIDS, cancer and heart disease. And no one tells them just to relax!
Michelle had failed to recognise the emotional and physical turmoil that this journey can create. For me, it was like running a marathon only to be told at the finish line you haven't actually finished and that you have to run another one which will be harder, even though you are exhausted.
I told Michelle I didn’t want to see her for at least six weeks. I recommended a fertility holiday. Doing so can actually rewind your biological clock and gain you time. Thankfully Michelle took what I said on board and came back a short while later in a much better psychological and physical state. We then worked together to prepare her for the 4th cycle, which was successful.
There is no right or wrong way of dealing with IVF failure as we are all unique and experience things in different ways but I want to share with you some things that may or may not be coming up for you.
Understanding what you are feeling.
The text I got form my wife had no meaning until I gave it meaning. The competitor moving in across the street means nothing, until I give it meaning. The down turn in the housing market means nothing, until I create a meaning for it, and so, therefore, all these feelings that prevent me from having peace of mind and hope for the future have been caused by my thoughts not by events or circumstances.
Events cannot cause feelings they just don't have that power. It's not how our mind works. The biological computer that is our mind processes thoughts. That's it. Thoughts. We live in the experience of our thinking, nothing else. Our feeling don’t know anything about our circumstances and they definitely don’t know anything about the future because the future doesn't exist, except in our thinking.
It definitely feels like it is coming from the circumstances and you are feeling your situation, but that is the illusion of thought and feelings. In the same way it "feels like" the earth is flat and it "feels like" the sun goes away at night. We misinterpret a lot until we understand how things really work. Until we understand we are only ever feeling our thinking we shall be chasing our tail of thinking and getting more and more caught up in the rollercoaster of emotions.
Pain passes because Thought moves on.
The thing is about feelings is that because they are created by Thought in the moment and by the nature of Thought is that it comes and goes feelings cannot stay for ever, although it can feel like they do. We look at a situation through a set of thinking, a state of mind. It is like looking at a situation through a long cardboard tubes (e.g. wrapping paper tube). We see a perspective.
Imagine there is a vertical stack of tubes one one top of the other. We may be looking at the situation through the lowest tube, the lowest level of consciousness. We think that is ‘reality’ unaware that we have the capability of seeing the situation (and thus experiencing it) through any other level of consciousness (thinking) at any given moment. This is why sometimes thing feel better than others. Our circumstances haven’t changed but the meaning we give them (our thinking) has.
Thinking comes and it goes by it’s nature. You couldn’t hold on to a feeling (even anger at your partner!) for ever even if you wanted to. They say time heals all wounds. That is not actually correct. Time doesn’t healing anything because we are only ever feeling our thinking - it is the changes in our thinking over time that changes our experience.
Predicting the future
Our thinking has a habit of telling us what something means for our future. After a failed IVF is easy to get caught into the story of what that means for your future, about whether you will ever have children, will you ever find true happiness and fulfilment.
The thing is, nothing can predict the future not even your thinking. You have no idea what is going to happen the next five minutes let alone next month or next year. Our thinking plays an imaginary movie of the future in our mind that so plausible and believable we forget it's a movie, that it's made up. Any thought that is not in the present moment is pure fantasy. We often think of fantasy as unrealistic things like people flying. However any thought that is not in the present moment is pure fantasy.
Come back to the here and now, that’s where you'll find peace of mind, perspective and clarity about what is next for you.
It’s not your fault
Often after an IVF failure clients can tend to blame themselves for it not working. They think that perhaps if they had looked after themselves more or taken more supplements or this/that/the other things may be different. Our brain likes reasons for things. By nature it is a pattern hunter which is why it is possible to read sentenecs wtih radnom lettres in teh worng odrer.
The truth is fertility is an art as well as a science. If it were a pure science you wouldn’t be reading this as the scientists would have it cracked 100% by now. Sometimes on paper a couple have absolutely no reason why things shouldn’t work and they don’t. Conversely you have couples that on paper shouldn’t have a hope in hell in getting pregnant and they do.
The doctors often learn something about your body on each cycle so may have some recommendations for future treatment, other than that stop looking for reasons, it doesn’t serve you as you tend to lose perspective when you go down that route. You end up chasing your thinking tail.
What next?
When something like failing an IVF cycle stirs up your thinking and sends you down the emotional rollercoaster it can be really hard to decide what the next step might be. When it comes to complex problems you cannot think your way to clarity because it is thinking prevent you having clarity in the first place. Solutions to complex problems, or any problems/decisions, comes in moments of quiet, we have a quiet mind you access your intuition and instinct which is a much better guidance mechanism to life than your thinking.
The challenge can be is hearing your intuition, your gut, with the brass band of thought in your head. Here are some characteristics of instinct, your wisdom, which may help you.
1. Whether you can hear it or not wisdom is ever present.
2. Wisdom is sometimes soft but it is always clear when you do hear it.
3. Wisdom often comes in the times of inner quiet.
4. Wisdom is always kind.
5. Wisdom feels right even if it doesn’t feel good (sometime it is calling us to come out of our comfort zone)
6. Wisdom often comes disguised as common sense.
My advice would be allow space. Some space to focus on Project You, a break from Project Baby. Some space for you body and mind to heal and restore. Some space to hear your inner wisdom which is wrapped in a blanket of innate wellbeing.
With love,
Russell x
Feel free to email me directly by replying to this email.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Russell Davis, fertility Coach and Cognitive Hypnotherapist, writer and speaker, believes you can find a sense of peace and control over your fertility. Whether natural or assisted conception, Russell has helped hundreds of couples all over the world move from despair to hope to success.
Russell, the Fertility Specialist Advisor to The National Council of Hypnotherapy, founded The Fertile Mind fertility mind-body programs and coaching based on he and his wife’s 10-year double infertility journey which resulted in the natural conception of their son.
Russell’s experience echoes his belief that too many couples go through fertility treatment unnecessarily and that the success rate of treatment is unnecessarily low.
Find out more about Russell and his work at www.thefertilemind.net.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hi, I hope you are well. Welcome to this weeks newsletter.
I often get contacted by people who have just had a failed an IVF cycle or their period has started again for another month. The are reaching out for some advice and support. So I thought I would share some words about that here.
An unsuccessful IVF cycle or BFN can be devastating. So often I meet women who were striving towards their goal of getting pregnant with such focus and dedication sometimes they can fail to recognise the struggle the journey can be. They can fail to acknowledge how tough this can be physically and emotionally.
I'll never forget my first fertility client. Michelle was 39 and had just completed her third IVF which was unsuccessful. She came to see me on the recommendation of her gynaecologist. She was planning to go straight into a fourth cycle for a number of reasons. One was that the previous cycle, although unsuccessful showed positive signs and the clinic were encouraging about another cycle with a slight change in protocol. She was also 39 so in her mind approaching the dreaded (and made up) 40 ‘cutoff’. She also felt an unspoken pressure from her husband and family to continue as soon as possible because they were also scared about time running out.
Most people underestimate the level of stress that this journey can create. A Harvard Medical School study demonstrated that the stress levels of women experiencing infertility were equivalent to those with AIDS, cancer and heart disease. And no one tells them just to relax!
Michelle had failed to recognise the emotional and physical turmoil that this journey can create. For me, it was like running a marathon only to be told at the finish line you haven't actually finished and that you have to run another one which will be harder, even though you are exhausted.
I told Michelle I didn’t want to see her for at least six weeks. I recommended a fertility holiday. Doing so can actually rewind your biological clock and gain you time. Thankfully Michelle took what I said on board and came back a short while later in a much better psychological and physical state. We then worked together to prepare her for the 4th cycle, which was successful.
There is no right or wrong way of dealing with IVF failure as we are all unique and experience things in different ways but I want to share with you some things that may or may not be coming up for you.
Understanding what you are feeling.
The text I got form my wife had no meaning until I gave it meaning. The competitor moving in across the street means nothing, until I give it meaning. The down turn in the housing market means nothing, until I create a meaning for it, and so, therefore, all these feelings that prevent me from having peace of mind and hope for the future have been caused by my thoughts not by events or circumstances.
Events cannot cause feelings they just don't have that power. It's not how our mind works. The biological computer that is our mind processes thoughts. That's it. Thoughts. We live in the experience of our thinking, nothing else. Our feeling don’t know anything about our circumstances and they definitely don’t know anything about the future because the future doesn't exist, except in our thinking.
It definitely feels like it is coming from the circumstances and you are feeling your situation, but that is the illusion of thought and feelings. In the same way it "feels like" the earth is flat and it "feels like" the sun goes away at night. We misinterpret a lot until we understand how things really work. Until we understand we are only ever feeling our thinking we shall be chasing our tail of thinking and getting more and more caught up in the rollercoaster of emotions.
Pain passes because Thought moves on.
The thing is about feelings is that because they are created by Thought in the moment and by the nature of Thought is that it comes and goes feelings cannot stay for ever, although it can feel like they do. We look at a situation through a set of thinking, a state of mind. It is like looking at a situation through a long cardboard tubes (e.g. wrapping paper tube). We see a perspective.
Imagine there is a vertical stack of tubes one one top of the other. We may be looking at the situation through the lowest tube, the lowest level of consciousness. We think that is ‘reality’ unaware that we have the capability of seeing the situation (and thus experiencing it) through any other level of consciousness (thinking) at any given moment. This is why sometimes thing feel better than others. Our circumstances haven’t changed but the meaning we give them (our thinking) has.
Thinking comes and it goes by it’s nature. You couldn’t hold on to a feeling (even anger at your partner!) for ever even if you wanted to. They say time heals all wounds. That is not actually correct. Time doesn’t healing anything because we are only ever feeling our thinking - it is the changes in our thinking over time that changes our experience.
Predicting the future
Our thinking has a habit of telling us what something means for our future. After a failed IVF is easy to get caught into the story of what that means for your future, about whether you will ever have children, will you ever find true happiness and fulfilment.
The thing is, nothing can predict the future not even your thinking. You have no idea what is going to happen the next five minutes let alone next month or next year. Our thinking plays an imaginary movie of the future in our mind that so plausible and believable we forget it's a movie, that it's made up. Any thought that is not in the present moment is pure fantasy. We often think of fantasy as unrealistic things like people flying. However any thought that is not in the present moment is pure fantasy.
Come back to the here and now, that’s where you'll find peace of mind, perspective and clarity about what is next for you.
It’s not your fault
Often after an IVF failure clients can tend to blame themselves for it not working. They think that perhaps if they had looked after themselves more or taken more supplements or this/that/the other things may be different. Our brain likes reasons for things. By nature it is a pattern hunter which is why it is possible to read sentenecs wtih radnom lettres in teh worng odrer.
The truth is fertility is an art as well as a science. If it were a pure science you wouldn’t be reading this as the scientists would have it cracked 100% by now. Sometimes on paper a couple have absolutely no reason why things shouldn’t work and they don’t. Conversely you have couples that on paper shouldn’t have a hope in hell in getting pregnant and they do.
The doctors often learn something about your body on each cycle so may have some recommendations for future treatment, other than that stop looking for reasons, it doesn’t serve you as you tend to lose perspective when you go down that route. You end up chasing your thinking tail.
What next?
When something like failing an IVF cycle stirs up your thinking and sends you down the emotional rollercoaster it can be really hard to decide what the next step might be. When it comes to complex problems you cannot think your way to clarity because it is thinking prevent you having clarity in the first place. Solutions to complex problems, or any problems/decisions, comes in moments of quiet, we have a quiet mind you access your intuition and instinct which is a much better guidance mechanism to life than your thinking.
The challenge can be is hearing your intuition, your gut, with the brass band of thought in your head. Here are some characteristics of instinct, your wisdom, which may help you.
1. Whether you can hear it or not wisdom is ever present.
2. Wisdom is sometimes soft but it is always clear when you do hear it.
3. Wisdom often comes in the times of inner quiet.
4. Wisdom is always kind.
5. Wisdom feels right even if it doesn’t feel good (sometime it is calling us to come out of our comfort zone)
6. Wisdom often comes disguised as common sense.
My advice would be allow space. Some space to focus on Project You, a break from Project Baby. Some space for you body and mind to heal and restore. Some space to hear your inner wisdom which is wrapped in a blanket of innate wellbeing.
With love,
Russell x
Feel free to email me directly by replying to this email.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Russell Davis, fertility Coach and Cognitive Hypnotherapist, writer and speaker, believes you can find a sense of peace and control over your fertility. Whether natural or assisted conception, Russell has helped hundreds of couples all over the world move from despair to hope to success.
Russell, the Fertility Specialist Advisor to The National Council of Hypnotherapy, founded The Fertile Mind fertility mind-body programs and coaching based on he and his wife’s 10-year double infertility journey which resulted in the natural conception of their son.
Russell’s experience echoes his belief that too many couples go through fertility treatment unnecessarily and that the success rate of treatment is unnecessarily low.
Find out more about Russell and his work at www.thefertilemind.net.
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Hello Kokura. Yours is an inspiration to couple who really dream of having a baby of their own. That is why a gynaecologist would advice us that biological cock ticks as we age.I couldn’t imagine why that Chinese physician told you to just give up. L But my oh my. Self-infections such a brave fella you are. I also once talked to Dr. Regina Zuzarte about fertility testing and underwent ovulation assessment myself. Very professional doctor shares her site http://www.gynaemdclementi.com.sg
Now we have a young little boy of our own. Such a humbling experience.
Now we have a young little boy of our own. Such a humbling experience.
I definitely understand you! IVF treatment is really long and hard and not any woman can do this! In the past, I did IVF once. The doctor said, that it was the only chance to have a baby. I did it here in Europe. And dreamt about this long-awaited baby. But something went wrong, my medical condition was difficult and I lost my child. Then, after the deep depression, I and my husband decided to try again. I understood that one round was nothing for us. Moreover, I wanted to receive some guarantees. And the one big things, we had a tight budget. But the fortune smiled to us. We found a great place in Ukraine which provides 5 rounds of IVF for around 30,000 euros. Plus, they give some guarantees. And you know….everything worked from the 3rd round. Yes, were so nervous about previous two. But it doesn’t matter. Now, my husband and I have a beautiful and noisy son. I believe that everyone woman has a chance for motherhood. And it doesn’t matter how your baby was conceived.