Kokura
Member
This is an e-mail on 'Victim Vs Creator' outlook & how it can affect our fertility.
Hi, I hope you are well. Welcome to the new subscribers!
Finish this statement: Life is a…
We bring our thinking about life and ourselves in to our fertility journey, we don't create new beliefs within it; the emotional roller coaster generally shines a spotlight on the thinking we had already.
When I look back, that is one of the things I am grateful for about our journey. I learnt so much about myself, my limiting thoughts and beliefs which being aware of them has enabled me to change all areas of my life for the better. It doesn't mean life's a breeze, but it means I am able to be more me, doing something I love and being far more self aware which makes life a continual journey of growth and development rather than being dead to myself in many ways as I was before. I'd shut myself off in an emotional cave to protect myself from being hurt by people and life. It was a prison of thinking and as a result I thought my happiness was dependent on external forces and powers, the prison guards who I had to keep on side with, as they had the power. Life felt like a struggle and I felt powerless.
You may have seen the bumper sticker 'Life is a bitch and then you die'. This is a classic example of the powerless, victim (prisoner) of life mentality. Let's explore this philosophy a little more.
If we were to agree with the first statement, life is a bitch, or any variation of it such as life is a struggle, or life is unfair then why is dying and getting out of the prison of struggle such a bad thing? Surely it should be 'Life's a bit…but then you die!' with a positive inflection at the end! Otherwise it is a contradiction and creates what is called a double bind. It binds you into a circular argument that you cannot escape from.
Many people live life by this philosophy, without being consciously aware of it. I used to. I spent many years in a job that didn't inspire me whilst at the same time was scared I may be laid off when we went through rounds of redundancy. Many people feel the same about their life, their jobs, their relationships. When I finally took the step to leave out of choice to find a job that's more 'me' I lost count of the people that said to me they wished they could do the same. What was different to me from them? I had no super-powers or shed loads of money to fall back on! It was their victim mentality that kept them prisoner there.
The brain is an amazing biological computer. Its purpose is to create and it cannot cope with closed loops that don't go anywhere. We feel energized when we are inspired, when we send our brain something inspiring. That's a creative energy.
In a poll of middle managers, the most common response to the request to complete the statement 'Life's a…' was life's a battle. The most common response for business owners and executives was life's a game.
Things happen in life that we don't have control over. Life is a contact sport but we can see that as being a battle or a game. When things happen to us, without us having any choice we do have a choice as to how we respond to it. The victim thinks they are powerless. The creator asks themselves 'what would I like to create from this situation'.
When we get stuck in traffic I can easily be frustrated and annoyed, telling myself there is nothing we can do, we are missing out on what we could be doing if we weren't stuck in this traffic. Talk about being a victim! So now I ask myself, what do I want to create from this situation? If I am with the family it can be a time of playing some games, or making up stories or if I am on my own it could be a time to listen to an audio book or dictate some more of this book!
At the lowest point of our fertility journey, we decided we can create a happy and meaningful life with or without children. Our preference was absolutely with, but it doesn't mean it cannot be done without. When we believe our well-being and happiness are dependent on external circumstances, we get caught in feelings such as anxiety, depression or hopelessness, and that is because we are looking in the wrong place.
So we created our plan. To pack up and go travelling, with the dog, in a camper van. Have an adventure. We chose to use the freedom and flexibility our situation had provided to create something, an adventure. As it tuned out, we didn't get to go on the big adventure as we became pregnant naturally before we went - but before the shift in mindset from victim to creator.
Do you want to be more of a creator? Do you want to turn your life in to an adventure? Due to technical problems some people couldn't get on to my last webinar on how to stop life being on hold and give birth to a life you love. To be more of a creator. You can see it here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZjE10wpplI
If you want to be more of a creator and turn your life in to adventure, if you sense your heart and soul calling you to be more 'you' in life reply to this email. I have two programmes starting soon that might just be what you need. Hit reply to this email if you would like a conversation to explore whether I can help you give birth to a life you love, even ahead of having a baby. When I became the creator of my life, that's when Project Baby took care of itself.
With love,
Russell x
Feel free to email me directly at [russell@thefertilemind.net].
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Russell Davis, fertility Cognitive Hypnotherapist, writer and speaker, believes you can find a sense of peace and control over your fertility. Whether natural or assisted conception, Russell has helped hundreds of couples all over the world move from despair to hope to success.
Russell, the Fertility Specialist Advisor to The National Council of Hypnotherapy, founded The Fertile Mind fertility mind-body programs and coaching based on he and his wife's 10-year double infertility journey which resulted in the natural conception of their son.
Russell's experience echoes his belief that too many couples go through fertility treatment unnecessarily and that the success rate of treatment is unnecessarily low.
Find out more about Russell and his work at www.thefertilemind.net. [http://www.thefertilemind.net]
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Hi, I hope you are well. Welcome to the new subscribers!
Finish this statement: Life is a…
We bring our thinking about life and ourselves in to our fertility journey, we don't create new beliefs within it; the emotional roller coaster generally shines a spotlight on the thinking we had already.
When I look back, that is one of the things I am grateful for about our journey. I learnt so much about myself, my limiting thoughts and beliefs which being aware of them has enabled me to change all areas of my life for the better. It doesn't mean life's a breeze, but it means I am able to be more me, doing something I love and being far more self aware which makes life a continual journey of growth and development rather than being dead to myself in many ways as I was before. I'd shut myself off in an emotional cave to protect myself from being hurt by people and life. It was a prison of thinking and as a result I thought my happiness was dependent on external forces and powers, the prison guards who I had to keep on side with, as they had the power. Life felt like a struggle and I felt powerless.
You may have seen the bumper sticker 'Life is a bitch and then you die'. This is a classic example of the powerless, victim (prisoner) of life mentality. Let's explore this philosophy a little more.
If we were to agree with the first statement, life is a bitch, or any variation of it such as life is a struggle, or life is unfair then why is dying and getting out of the prison of struggle such a bad thing? Surely it should be 'Life's a bit…but then you die!' with a positive inflection at the end! Otherwise it is a contradiction and creates what is called a double bind. It binds you into a circular argument that you cannot escape from.
Many people live life by this philosophy, without being consciously aware of it. I used to. I spent many years in a job that didn't inspire me whilst at the same time was scared I may be laid off when we went through rounds of redundancy. Many people feel the same about their life, their jobs, their relationships. When I finally took the step to leave out of choice to find a job that's more 'me' I lost count of the people that said to me they wished they could do the same. What was different to me from them? I had no super-powers or shed loads of money to fall back on! It was their victim mentality that kept them prisoner there.
The brain is an amazing biological computer. Its purpose is to create and it cannot cope with closed loops that don't go anywhere. We feel energized when we are inspired, when we send our brain something inspiring. That's a creative energy.
In a poll of middle managers, the most common response to the request to complete the statement 'Life's a…' was life's a battle. The most common response for business owners and executives was life's a game.
Things happen in life that we don't have control over. Life is a contact sport but we can see that as being a battle or a game. When things happen to us, without us having any choice we do have a choice as to how we respond to it. The victim thinks they are powerless. The creator asks themselves 'what would I like to create from this situation'.
When we get stuck in traffic I can easily be frustrated and annoyed, telling myself there is nothing we can do, we are missing out on what we could be doing if we weren't stuck in this traffic. Talk about being a victim! So now I ask myself, what do I want to create from this situation? If I am with the family it can be a time of playing some games, or making up stories or if I am on my own it could be a time to listen to an audio book or dictate some more of this book!
At the lowest point of our fertility journey, we decided we can create a happy and meaningful life with or without children. Our preference was absolutely with, but it doesn't mean it cannot be done without. When we believe our well-being and happiness are dependent on external circumstances, we get caught in feelings such as anxiety, depression or hopelessness, and that is because we are looking in the wrong place.
So we created our plan. To pack up and go travelling, with the dog, in a camper van. Have an adventure. We chose to use the freedom and flexibility our situation had provided to create something, an adventure. As it tuned out, we didn't get to go on the big adventure as we became pregnant naturally before we went - but before the shift in mindset from victim to creator.
Do you want to be more of a creator? Do you want to turn your life in to an adventure? Due to technical problems some people couldn't get on to my last webinar on how to stop life being on hold and give birth to a life you love. To be more of a creator. You can see it here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZjE10wpplI
If you want to be more of a creator and turn your life in to adventure, if you sense your heart and soul calling you to be more 'you' in life reply to this email. I have two programmes starting soon that might just be what you need. Hit reply to this email if you would like a conversation to explore whether I can help you give birth to a life you love, even ahead of having a baby. When I became the creator of my life, that's when Project Baby took care of itself.
With love,
Russell x
Feel free to email me directly at [russell@thefertilemind.net].
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Russell Davis, fertility Cognitive Hypnotherapist, writer and speaker, believes you can find a sense of peace and control over your fertility. Whether natural or assisted conception, Russell has helped hundreds of couples all over the world move from despair to hope to success.
Russell, the Fertility Specialist Advisor to The National Council of Hypnotherapy, founded The Fertile Mind fertility mind-body programs and coaching based on he and his wife's 10-year double infertility journey which resulted in the natural conception of their son.
Russell's experience echoes his belief that too many couples go through fertility treatment unnecessarily and that the success rate of treatment is unnecessarily low.
Find out more about Russell and his work at www.thefertilemind.net. [http://www.thefertilemind.net]
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