Need help & advice from all mommies out there!!

[venus]

Im married & blessed wif 3 beautiful kids. But right now im on d verge of breaking dwn or maybe into depression. It started wif my hubby who keep lying over & over again. N worse is he always meeting up wif frens & sumtimes to d extend of not coming back hm. Wenever i pop up abt all dis issue he will beat me up infront of my kids. So after many times of getting beat up by him, I hv already apply for PPO for me & my kids. N as usual he ask for forgiveness & promised dat he will change & to gv him 1 last chance. In which i did but still proceeding wif the PPO.

After awhile now, things getting bttr for me as he didnt use anymore violence on me. But now i realised dat he hv started his lying ways again & secretly meeting his "SO CALLED BROTHER" behind my back. N even lie to me dat he hv OT everyday. So wat shld i do now?? Hv been going marriage counselling wif him but still he cant change.

Im thinking of filling a divorced..N i know he will not approved of it.

 

[mtan]

Im married & blessed wif 3 beautiful kids. But right now im on d verge of breaking dwn or maybe into depression. It started wif my hubby who keep lying over & over again. N worse is he always meeting up wif frens & sumtimes to d extend of not coming back hm. Wenever i pop up abt all dis issue he will beat me up infront of my kids. So after many times of getting beat up by him, I hv already apply for PPO for me & my kids. N as usual he ask for forgiveness & promised dat he will change & to gv him 1 last chance. In which i did but still proceeding wif the PPO.

After awhile now, things getting bttr for me as he didnt use anymore violence on me. But now i realised dat he hv started his lying ways again & secretly meeting his "SO CALLED BROTHER" behind my back. N even lie to me dat he hv OT everyday. So wat shld i do now?? Hv been going marriage counselling wif him but still he cant change.

Im thinking of filling a divorced..N i know he will not approved of it.

u can file divorce base on his unreasonable behaviour. U don't need him to approve it

 

[venus]

u can file divorce base on his unreasonable behaviour. U don't need him to approve it

hi, N yes im still thinking to file divorced base on his unreasonable behaviour, but am hving doubt cos im scared he will fight for d kids custody as im not wrking now.

 

[mtan]

hi, N yes im still thinking to file divorced base on his unreasonable behaviour, but am hving doubt cos im scared he will fight for d kids custody as im not wrking now.

don't have to worry too much as he needs to give u maintanence. it's not who have money who will have the custody.

 

[littlematchgirl]

Im married & blessed wif 3 beautiful kids. But right now im on d verge of breaking dwn or maybe into depression. It started wif my hubby who keep lying over & over again. N worse is he always meeting up wif frens & sumtimes to d extend of not coming back hm. Wenever i pop up abt all dis issue he will beat me up infront of my kids. So after many times of getting beat up by him, I hv already apply for PPO for me & my kids. N as usual he ask for forgiveness & promised dat he will change & to gv him 1 last chance. In which i did but still proceeding wif the PPO.

After awhile now, things getting bttr for me as he didnt use anymore violence on me. But now i realised dat he hv started his lying ways again & secretly meeting his "SO CALLED BROTHER" behind my back. N even lie to me dat he hv OT everyday. So wat shld i do now?? Hv been going marriage counselling wif him but still he cant change.

Im thinking of filling a divorced..N i know he will not approved of it.

Hi, my case is quite similar to yours. I also have a PPO against my hubby as he used to hit me. Now he doesn't hit me will will abuse me verbally, shout at me etc... He also likes to stay out late till the wee hours in the morning, usually is go drinking or gambling. My words are of no value and no effect to make him change his ways so I stopped calling him and talking to him already. Worse thing is that whatever he do he thinks he is always right and had never apologised to me even once. He doesn't work and pprovide for the family for 2 months already and he doesn't care at all. I wanted out but divorce is really not an option for me coz I will have problem finding a place to house me and my kids.

As for advice, I don't know what advise to give you as I also having problems with hubby myself. I am also seeking advice for myself desparately. Maybe what you can do is just ignore and focus on the kids or try to talk it out with people you trust. I am also trapped in an unhappy marriage but don't know what to do.

 

[mtan]

Hi, my case is quite similar to yours. I also have a PPO against my hubby as he used to hit me. Now he doesn't hit me will will abuse me verbally, shout at me etc... He also likes to stay out late till the wee hours in the morning, usually is go drinking or gambling. My words are of no value and no effect to make him change his ways so I stopped calling him and talking to him already. Worse thing is that whatever he do he thinks he is always right and had never apologised to me even once. He doesn't work and pprovide for the family for 2 months already and he doesn't care at all. I wanted out but divorce is really not an option for me coz I will have problem finding a place to house me and my kids.

As for advice, I dont't know what advise to give you as I also having problems with hubby myself. I am also seeking advice for myself desparately. Maybe what you can do is just ignore and focus on the kids or try to talk it out with people you trust. I am also trapped in an unhappy marriage but dont't know what to do.

this is not the kind of life you and your children should go thru. why not divorce him, sell the house. Get a rented place. It might be difficult but better than lives in such life. the first step is alway difficult, but once u start, thing will be easier.

 

[Acy]

Need help & advice from all mommies out there!!

If the husband is useless, doesn't support family and love his wife, then Dump him. This is Singapore, Singapore law protects women, don't worry if you are not working, get maintainence and of course try to get a job if you can..you are not the worst case in the world, with your kids's support, do brace up for a better future of you and your kids.

 

[venus]

Re: Need help & advice from all mommies out there!!

If the husband is useless, doesn't support family and love his wife, then Dump him. This is Singapore, Singapore law protects women, dont't worry if you are not working, get maintainence and of course try to get a job if you can..you are not the worst case in the world, with your kids's support, do brace up for a better future of you and your kids.

Hi all for the reply... beentinking it for few days now & i guess divorced is d only way out for me now cos i tink ders no point staying wif sumone who cant change for himself & d family. Yeah, i guess it will be quite difficult for me to move on & start a new life wif my kids but i believe as time goes by everyting will run smoothly for me if i try hard enuff. Maybe will try to put my kids in student care & child care while i try to find job to support us. So rite now im still disscussing my issue wif my social worker abt my case.. Hopefully everyting runs smoothly for me.

 

[Septemberain]

Re: Need help & advice from all mommies out there!!

Hi all for the reply... beentinking it for few days now & i guess divorced is d only way out for me now cos i tink ders no point staying wif sumone who cant change for himself & d family. Yeah, i guess it will be quite difficult for me to move on & start a new life wif my kids but i believe as time goes by everyting will run smoothly for me if i try hard enuff. Maybe will try to put my kids in student care & child care while i try to find job to support us. So rite now im still disscussing my issue wif my social worker abt my case.. Hopefully everyting runs smoothly for me.

Aiyoh, so poor gal, i really really hate men who use violence. Really really shameful act. He should try on his own size and have a taste of being whacked. So already in such situation, no choice but to think of children and yourself as first priority. I support your decision although this is not something you should do if you have other alternatives. For a person to change, you need to wait and also be subjected of repetition. not so easy for one to change immediately. Do what you need to do and get on with life. Of course don't write him off. As time goes, if he really change, you can see from his attitude or persistency, by then you can consider again but for now, get on with life.
You should also get more friends and family members support, managing alone is no joke.

 

[edy]

A man whom beat up his wife is not a man!

Are you capable to raise the kids on your own, do you have a family to support you? It is definitely not going to be an easy road ahead but you need to ensure this does not happened anymore and the best way is to leave him.

Make sure he pays you and your kids monthly maintenance fee.

Stay strong lady, your kids need you!

 

[Jojoai]

Need help & advice from all mommies out there!!

Guys would always want their pride. While we girls seldom need it. We give it up for th guys. If we're lucky some will think before they do or say. But if we're not things happen. But they didn't realise us giving them their pride we too have our limits. You can go to counselling. But if you really think it can't be help stand strong and face him tell him what you want. I'm sure a lot of mummies support you. stay strong.

 

[Jasminekuek]

Re: Need help & advice from all mommies out there!!

Im happy to see this thread as i also encounter e same problem. Husband always not care for family n kids. He even hurt me during e house dispute. Im thinking of filling a divorce, but i affraid tt the custody will go to my husband as im not working, im a PR which sponsor by my husband. Anyone encounter this b4 can share wz me?