Hi mummies, im currently 14 weeks pregnant, but my mum has been really inconsistant in accepting the baby and my ex bf wants nothing to do with the baby. I come from a divorced family so its just my mum and me. I was vry strong on wanting to keep the baby initially but my decisions have been waivering, i realized if i choose to keep the baby he/she wont have a good environment to grow up in as the baby isnt fully accepted by my mum nor my relatives. I considered abortion today but im not sure if im making the right decision if i choose to go for it. Has anyone done 2nd tri abortions and what are the long term risks for abortion?
Need some advice / 2nd trimester abortions
- Thread starter sn0w
- Start date
littlematchgirl
New Member
It's still a life.... Give it up for adoption instead.... 2nd tri abortion is jus like a normal delivery, they insert a pill into ur uterus to terminate the pregnancy n to open the cervix, u get contractions and push the dead baby out. They will clean up you womb after that. It's best to do a short confinement to restore your health back after the abortion.
You can look for people who wants to adopt your baby. I think there counseling or social work centers that can help you with the legal matters or paperr work to get adoption for baby. Perhaps even also financial and emotional help for you too. It's always good to consider other options because as littlematchgirl says, 2nd trimester abortion is like giving birth... That may affect you emotionally and it may carry risk for future pregnancy too.
littlematchgirl
New Member
There are many couples out there who are waiting to adopt a baby as they cannot conceive. Since you are going to go through the same thing as a normal delivery, why not give it a chance and deliver it alive instead of dead and let it have a chance to be in a complete family.... Call up mcys to ask them about giving up your baby for adoption. Usually the person who wants to adopt your baby will help you pay for for medical check-ups and hospital bill when you deliver the baby.
Another option is to look for someone to foster your baby, (foster=temporarily in the care of foster parents while you are resolving your problem but baby is still lawfully yours and you hold all the rights to the child), until you feel that you are ready to make a decision for it, be it taking care of it yourself or giving it up for adoption. Once you decide to give it up for adoption, you cannot see your baby again.
Another option is to look for someone to foster your baby, (foster=temporarily in the care of foster parents while you are resolving your problem but baby is still lawfully yours and you hold all the rights to the child), until you feel that you are ready to make a decision for it, be it taking care of it yourself or giving it up for adoption. Once you decide to give it up for adoption, you cannot see your baby again.
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happymummyo7
Member
I dont think u shd b here asking what u should do abt yr baby. So what if everyone else asks u to keep? Can u? R u ready? To commit to this responsibility. Its an innocent life, created by yr mistake.*
I had an abortion when i was 18, in 14th week of the pregnancy. I saw the fetus drop out, n the image is still clear in my mind now, 6yrs later.
The guilt, has been ard. Nw im a single mother of my 3yo. Everytime i watches him im reminded of my first child. I whisper tons of sorry hoping she hears. I wished i hadnt been so childish stubborn n wilful. I imagined how beautiful she would be.
During then, i gave myself a billion excuses to abort. It wasnt my fault. I was not ready yet. Im only 18 n still young. I cant support the child. I cant give the child a complete family. It would b a disgrace to the family. The child wld grow up unhappy. What if she blames me for bringing her into this world? What if she tells me she wished i had nvr gave birth to her. What if n what ifs. With all those n many more excuses, i went ahead to kill that life.
After the incident, i watch my behaviours, i take precautions. Then, accident happened again, i went to the doctor for 'emergency pill', i think the term is morning-after pill or sth. Within 12hrs of that accident. In the end i still got pregnant. I kept the child cos i dont want the same regret.
Its been almost 3yrs since my boy's birth. Im a proud single mummy. N i know ive done well n will continue do well. All the excuses i had were just excuses. Its all in the mind.
Theres no such thing as u cant, its all abt whether u want or dont want.
Whatever decision u make, remember, its YR choice. Dont blame yr mum for not being supportive, dont blame the comments n advises given here in this forum, most importantly, dont blame yr child.
I had an abortion when i was 18, in 14th week of the pregnancy. I saw the fetus drop out, n the image is still clear in my mind now, 6yrs later.
The guilt, has been ard. Nw im a single mother of my 3yo. Everytime i watches him im reminded of my first child. I whisper tons of sorry hoping she hears. I wished i hadnt been so childish stubborn n wilful. I imagined how beautiful she would be.
During then, i gave myself a billion excuses to abort. It wasnt my fault. I was not ready yet. Im only 18 n still young. I cant support the child. I cant give the child a complete family. It would b a disgrace to the family. The child wld grow up unhappy. What if she blames me for bringing her into this world? What if she tells me she wished i had nvr gave birth to her. What if n what ifs. With all those n many more excuses, i went ahead to kill that life.
After the incident, i watch my behaviours, i take precautions. Then, accident happened again, i went to the doctor for 'emergency pill', i think the term is morning-after pill or sth. Within 12hrs of that accident. In the end i still got pregnant. I kept the child cos i dont want the same regret.
Its been almost 3yrs since my boy's birth. Im a proud single mummy. N i know ive done well n will continue do well. All the excuses i had were just excuses. Its all in the mind.
Theres no such thing as u cant, its all abt whether u want or dont want.
Whatever decision u make, remember, its YR choice. Dont blame yr mum for not being supportive, dont blame the comments n advises given here in this forum, most importantly, dont blame yr child.
steffywoofy
Member
Babe... I jus want to tell you that the baby is yours...
U should be strong.. And consistent in keeping the baby even though ur mom or relative is not supportive
i think after your mom see u so persistent she will be touched and give u her full support...
At this stage I'm sure u need a lot of support... Physically and emotionally...
talk to us here.. I'm sure many mommies here will be willingly to help
Im a mtb...
U should be strong.. And consistent in keeping the baby even though ur mom or relative is not supportive
i think after your mom see u so persistent she will be touched and give u her full support...
At this stage I'm sure u need a lot of support... Physically and emotionally...
talk to us here.. I'm sure many mommies here will be willingly to help
Im a mtb...
thx babeBabe... I jus want to tell you that the baby is yours...
U should be strong.. And consistent in keeping the baby even though ur mom or relative is not supportive
i think after your mom see u so persistent she will be touched and give u her full support...
At this stage I'm sure u need a lot of support... Physically and emotionally...
talk to us here.. I'm sure many mommies here will be willingly to help
Im a mtb...
dumbocarebear
Member
hi there
if you have decided to cont w your preg, be strong and dun think of aborting it anymore. even if your mum is inconsistent, you should be firm in your decision.
I'm a single mum and initially my mum wasn't happy about my decision to keep my baby. but when baby is born, she loves to play with him too. and she will willingly help me to take care as well. and most amazing is that, for me a person who never take care of baby before, manage to survive by myself with baby alone at home for a month after confinement. the power of being a mother is really amazing.
you might not be able to feel the motherly instincts now but when you see your baby, your world really changed.. at least for me...
if you ever need someone to talk to, you can pm me..
be strong for yourself and for your baby. he/she can sense that mummy is brave in bringing him/her to this world..
ps: my boy is 2 months old...
if you have decided to cont w your preg, be strong and dun think of aborting it anymore. even if your mum is inconsistent, you should be firm in your decision.
I'm a single mum and initially my mum wasn't happy about my decision to keep my baby. but when baby is born, she loves to play with him too. and she will willingly help me to take care as well. and most amazing is that, for me a person who never take care of baby before, manage to survive by myself with baby alone at home for a month after confinement. the power of being a mother is really amazing.
you might not be able to feel the motherly instincts now but when you see your baby, your world really changed.. at least for me...
if you ever need someone to talk to, you can pm me..
be strong for yourself and for your baby. he/she can sense that mummy is brave in bringing him/her to this world..
ps: my boy is 2 months old...
dumbocarebear
Member
hi there
if you have decided to cont w your preg, be strong and dun think of aborting it anymore. even if your mum is inconsistent, you should be firm in your decision.
I'm a single mum and initially my mum wasn't happy about my decision to keep my baby. but when baby is born, she loves to play with him too. and she will willingly help me to take care as well. and most amazing is that, for me a person who never take care of baby before, manage to survive by myself with baby alone at home for a month after confinement. the power of being a mother is really amazing.
you might not be able to feel the motherly instincts now but when you see your baby, your world really changed.. at least for me...
if you ever need someone to talk to, you can pm me..
be strong for yourself and for your baby. he/she can sense that mummy is brave in bringing him/her to this world..
ps: my boy is 2 months old...
if you have decided to cont w your preg, be strong and dun think of aborting it anymore. even if your mum is inconsistent, you should be firm in your decision.
I'm a single mum and initially my mum wasn't happy about my decision to keep my baby. but when baby is born, she loves to play with him too. and she will willingly help me to take care as well. and most amazing is that, for me a person who never take care of baby before, manage to survive by myself with baby alone at home for a month after confinement. the power of being a mother is really amazing.
you might not be able to feel the motherly instincts now but when you see your baby, your world really changed.. at least for me...
if you ever need someone to talk to, you can pm me..
be strong for yourself and for your baby. he/she can sense that mummy is brave in bringing him/her to this world..
ps: my boy is 2 months old...
xiaodaisy
Active Member
a baby without a irresponsible father is better den having a useless father who bring more problems..
jiayou , since u keeping it hope everything will go fine for u =)
a mother who abandons her baby is the worst creature on earth. no matter the circumstance.
you can file for paternity support. if the baby has his DNA, he has to pay child support. there is always support everywhere - groups, friends, relatives, etc etc... sure the baby has no father right now becoz the father can't accept the reality, but later, if you find someone else, the baby will have a father, even if it's not biological.
there is nothing to feel guilt or remorse about as so far you have done no wrong.
if you abandon the baby, your guilt and remorse will be worse.
it is yoru flesh and blood. if you only knew how hard it is for a sperm to meet the egg to make a baby, you will realise that a baby is a miracle. one in a million - literally.
sure, the biological father is just a sperm donor, but the baby is inside you, growing from you, becoz of you. it is yours more than any other person in the world's.
you can file for paternity support. if the baby has his DNA, he has to pay child support. there is always support everywhere - groups, friends, relatives, etc etc... sure the baby has no father right now becoz the father can't accept the reality, but later, if you find someone else, the baby will have a father, even if it's not biological.
there is nothing to feel guilt or remorse about as so far you have done no wrong.
if you abandon the baby, your guilt and remorse will be worse.
it is yoru flesh and blood. if you only knew how hard it is for a sperm to meet the egg to make a baby, you will realise that a baby is a miracle. one in a million - literally.
sure, the biological father is just a sperm donor, but the baby is inside you, growing from you, becoz of you. it is yours more than any other person in the world's.
Valerie Chan
New Member
I know this thread is already from years ago. I just can't help but reply to it when I saw your comment while browsing the forum. Your situation is very similar to what I went through and though I did not push through with the abortion, I will never judge women who are caught up in a situation similar to this. After all, it is their body so they know what is best for them.
For those in the same boat as Snow, I would say that the risks of complications are higher when you are this long into pregnancy. If you have been seeing a specific gynae you are comfortable with, then by all means continue seeking help from him/her. If you're not seeing any particular gynae, then I suggest you to see Dr. Jen Shek. He was the gynae I went to when I was thinking of getting an abortion and he was very accommodating and helpful. He explained everything there is to know including risks and complications.
I'm not sure if his clinic is still located at Ang Mo Kio Ave. But just to be sure you can visit his page here: http://www.swjen.com.sg/abortion-procedure.html
I hope this helps somehow. Take care everyone.
CrazyBlack
New Member
It would be better if someone is gonna adopt your child