need to hear someone who used donor eggs

HollyD

New Member
Hi everyone! I'm new here, I'm 44. Last year I had failed try of IVF with my own eggs. Now doctors say I need to use donor eggs. This is my only chance to become a mother. My husband and I discussed this option. We've been thinking about it for a couple of months now. But both of us feel like we are not mentally ready for this step. It will be a child from a stranger... Kind of... But still it will be my dh baby. I'm confused. How will I feel about this child? Maybe that's just because of the lack of information. Maybe I'm stupid and don't get it right. It would be great to talk to someone who underwent this process and knows the whole procedure. How do you feel now after you were carrying them 9 months and gave birth and they call you "mommy"? What do you feel towards your babies?
 

jesss

New Member
I'm currently looking for information about ivf with donor eggs, where and how it can be done, etc. I'm 36 yo and I was diagnosed with premature menopause. I'm new to all this donor stuff and I also have some doubts. I was not sure how will I feel about my baby if it's from donor. I read many comments from women who are at the same situation as we are. Knowing that your child is not really yours is very stressing and confusing. I understand that the most important is that you'll carry a baby and give birth. Many ladies who underwent this procedure tell that they don't feel differently toward their kids. But when you are at the very beginning of this path it's hard to percept thoughts about donor right away and ignore your doubts. Some women chose to be childless because they can't even accept an idea of having a baby from donor.

Yesterday I was browsing the internet looking for needed information(as I do last couple of weeks). I found some interesting articles about research on ivf with donor eggs. Scientists made 'amazing discovery' as it's revealed infertile mothers who use donor eggs DO pass their DNA to their children. This discovery was made only a year ago. I think that's amazing! It was previously believed that the fertilised egg used to make the embryo only had DNA from the father and donor mother. 'One sadness infertile women experience is that their child has none of their genetic information.' And this is so true! To be honest when I was told my only option is to use de I was broken. I was always dreaming about big family, about children, about happiness I've never had. I'm an orphan and I've never had loving parents, sisters and brothers. My childhood was not sweet at all. I've been dreaming that when I grow up, I will merry kind and loving man and we'll create family I've never had. When I've got to know I'm infertile I felt so miserable. And even option of having baby through de ivf didn't make me feel better.

The info about this research really inspired me and changed my mood about this procedure. I decided to share it with you. Maybe it will be helpful for other women like us who struggle infertility and scared to accept this option.
 

Vikky

New Member
This's very interesting information I should say! Thank you for sharing it with us. I'm pregnant and I used donor eggs. I know what doubts you're talking about. I had them too. I think all women who choose de ivf as an option have doubts and uncertainty. It took me more than a year to decide if I really ready to go this way. My husband was 100% positive about de ivf option. Why wouldn't he, right? There is nothing to worry about for him. It will be his child with his features and his blood. But for me it was tough decision. I knew baby won't be genetically related with me. I knew the baby might even not look like me. To be honest I was scared... I was thinking up scenarios like someone telling me that my child has nothing similar with me. I thought everyone will know for sure that I'm not a real mother of a baby. Now all these thoughts seem so ridiculous to me! I was so happy when pregnancy test showed positive result. And I was so happy when doctor confirmed it. All thoughts about donor eggs, doubts, dumb scenarios just faded away! This is my child and I'm his/her mother! Nothing else matters. I didn't know about this research at that period of time. I think it would make me decide on the procedure right away. Information about this research should be spread on each fertility forum. Many women refuse de ivf option because they think they won't be able to love a baby from another woman. Speaking about appearance problem, we sent a list to our manager with features which we wanted our donor to have. We put there description of my appearance, so our doctor chose donor who looks like me.
 

Liz_18

New Member
I'm new in this forum and I'm recently told by the doctor that I have premature menopause at the age of 36. I was told that I can only have a child with de ivf. I was devastated after hearing this, as my husband and I wish to have a child of our own.

After reading this forum, it inspired me a lot and I feel more positive about de ivf.

I'm new to the donor egg related information. I noticed there are limited information on donor egg reserves in Singapore... I hope someone can share more on this with me. Thank you...
 

Rosalinda

New Member
This's very interesting information I should say! Thank you for sharing it with us. I'm pregnant and I used donor eggs. I know what doubts you're talking about. I had them too. I think all women who choose de ivf as an option have doubts and uncertainty. It took me more than a year to decide if I really ready to go this way. My husband was 100% positive about de ivf option. Why wouldn't he, right? There is nothing to worry about for him. It will be his child with his features and his blood. But for me it was tough decision. I knew baby won't be genetically related with me. I knew the baby might even not look like me. To be honest I was scared... I was thinking up scenarios like someone telling me that my child has nothing similar with me. I thought everyone will know for sure that I'm not a real mother of a baby. Now all these thoughts seem so ridiculous to me! I was so happy when pregnancy test showed positive result. And I was so happy when doctor confirmed it. All thoughts about donor eggs, doubts, dumb scenarios just faded away! This is my child and I'm his/her mother! Nothing else matters. I didn't know about this research at that period of time. I think it would make me decide on the procedure right away. Information about this research should be spread on each fertility forum. Many women refuse de ivf option because they think they won't be able to love a baby from another woman. Speaking about appearance problem, we sent a list to our manager with features which we wanted our donor to have. We put there description of my appearance, so our doctor chose donor who looks like me.
Hi vikky, could you pls share with me your donor egg agency? Thanks
 
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