No peace!

[SunShine07]

Wonder who can help.

I feel my life had got no peace. I offen feel threathen that I will lose my job.

We now living separated, he is living in JB and me in SG. I used to stay there and reason why i left him was because he ever hit me (many times in the past years) an affair which i feel i can't forgive and forget all this incident and he is a very self-centred person.

He keep asking me back but i dun feel comfortable firstly staying in malaysia as i dun feel safe and secondly i scare he will kill us there one day if i ever talk things that will provoke him again. He is someone who is out of control if i somehow provoked him in words.

Now he is working near me, and always go lunch together, sometimes if i dun go with him, he would suspect i had a guy lunch parnther....offen, he would accuse of me having affairs and sleep with other man which make me feel very disgusting about him. Or he would threathen to come to my office and there was once when i refuse to talk to him, he keep calling my office! :bmad: I always feel threathen and at times i can't really work. If this continue, i will lose this job...

He didn't pay or give me maint for my son's expenses. He said becos my son is not stay with him, so i have to pay for all and becos i choos to leave him and stay in sg. yet he ask me for money when we rented out our HDB flat. He ask to give him half cos that is also his flat. He force me to draw out the money yesterday but i dun have my atm card with me. And keep pressing to transfer. He got a lot of money, but he refuse to give me any for my son.

I need to ask if i can get any protection from the law? I dun have much evidence to say that he used to hit me or threathen me. I dont need his money or what, but i really wan peace. I wan to work here but i can't if he is around. i feel that i am going crazy already, at times i really wish to kill him! i so scare that i would really do it.......

Any advice on how to get the protection order with case like me?

 

[1568mummy]

My dear,

if you have spare cash, you can go to any legal firm to get advise. Usually, a GOOD consultation cost between $50 - $100.

If you don't have, you may want to talk to your MP during the weekly MP meetings
OR
you can go to CASE (though CASE ONLY handles complains about products and services and give FREE consultation) to ask them if they know who you can turn to for FREE legal advise on such matters....

I grew up with such people around me.
the trick is, the more you do as they told, the more you'll be controlled.
The more you listen to that 'little voice' in your head, which is telling you what you fear, the more he will OVERpower you.

Take care dear.... take care....

 

[SunShine07]

thanks 1568mummy, i am not afraid of him, but i just have no peace. Ths only thing i am afraid is that he might come to my workplace one day.

 

[Ting]

laing jia, r u guys divorced/seperated?
if so, n he keeps pestering/harassing u, like keep calling in to your ofc, keeps showing up at your doorstep, i believe u r able to make a police report against him.
i think u shld stop all contact with him n talk to your immediate boss abt it.
i think they shld be understanding enough, inform that u r alr taking actions against him n hope to solve this issue asap. maybe they can inform the security guards n ask them to stop him from entering your workplace premises.

as of the maintenance fee, tell him, he HAS to pay no matter what, even the child is with u. if needed, bring him to a lawyer's ofc n ask the lawyer to tell him. but for the HDB flat, i think it is only fair tt he gets half the share since he owns part of it.
do u intend to sell the flat?
i think it would be better to sell off your flat n then cut off all ties with him..
no offence but i think he seems abit mentally unstable due to his violent character.

 

[SunShine07]

hi Ting, but we are not separated yet....sigh......i dun mind not getting any money from him....but i just wan peace....

Letting my immediate boss knows? hmmmm....i dun dare to....

He didn't show up in my office, but he threathen to...he only come to my office building, but i know he is capable to come up i fhe really wants to

 

[Ting]

i think it would be better that u inform your boss first b4 he comes n create trouble at your ofc.
but i also think very difficult for u since u just switch jobs right?
hmmm, i understand u do not want any money from him, same as me here.
but since he say til like tt n insist u trf him the rent, then let him know tt he is liable to pay for your son's maintenance, n u will take the rent as that.


dun mind if i ask, u plan to divorce with him or continue???

 

[masayuki]

Uncle agree with Ting....

Hey Liang Jia, if you need to talk about some options you can talk or need help, feel free to call uncle @ 84187420 okie?

If he tries to hit you again, we'll all go down to his workplace together and demand justice.... See who gets sacked first!

Uncle now very angry!!!

 

[SunShine07]

sigh....currently if you ask me now, i wish i could divorce him....

But my son really likes him a lot, i can tell when is it differeent from they way he is with my brothers....once a while i would bring my son to see him in jb.....when we left, my son would cry for his papa......

though we seldom meet up but my son knows that he is his papa....he would ask his to hug hug (but not to my bro) and got one time, he actually kissed him which he never do it b4........

sigh....so, i dun wish to make a desicion on this first....in case .....

 

[SunShine07]

Uncle agree with Ting....

Hey Liang Jia, if you need to talk about some options you can talk or need help, feel free to call uncle @ 84187420 okie?

If he tries to hit you again, we'll all go down to his workplace together and demand justice.... See who gets sacked first!

Uncle now very angry!!!

THANKS!!! Uncle!

But to be frank, he is not scare of that oo, cos he dun mind losing job.....

he is really difficult to deal with person

 

[TANZHENZHI]

Liang Jia feel sad for you, as i hate those violent guy who turn rough on women. I agree with Ting, you should inform your boss just in case he really come up to the ofc and make trouble. He only turn rough on you but not your son?

 

[autumn82]

I agree with Ting.

Liangjia darling, it's difficult to have peace if he has such unstable temper. *pats*

Do consider divorce/seperation if you really can't live with him under the same roof. I understand your son likes his papa, but even after divorce, he can still see his papa. I know it is difficult.. By divorcing/seperating, u're protecting yourself in the eyes of law. :wong19:

 

[masayuki]

THANKS!!! Uncle!

But to be frank, he is not scare of that oo, cos he dont mind losing job.....

he is really difficult to deal with person

Go to the family court, Protection Order Services unit, Level 1, Family and Juvenile Court Building.... File a Magistrate's Complaint asking for a personal protection order....

When you see the magistrate, start telling him/her your story and how he is terrorizing you and not paying for anything (Drop a few tears at this point)....

Add that he has beaten you up before, now terrorizing and forcing you to have lunch with him every work day, and you are afraid to see him as he might beat you up again.... (Start sobbing uncontrollably and hug yourself with your arms and take a step backwards at the same time)

At this point, the magistrate would normally issue a summons to be served to your husband.....

Since he stays in JB and summons cannot be served outside Singapore, the summons will be served to his office!!!

Since you're at it, file another maintenance order for your child as he is not paying for your child's upkeep....
Let his colleagues know what kind of a lying cheating bastard he is!

Sit back, relax and watch show....

I'm very sure he minds losing face right? :tlaugh:

 

[diymummy]

When he turns violent, you should go see a doc, get a record of injuries and then go to make a police report. Build up evidence. At least there's a record or else he could say you're lying.

Sometimes doctor might issue an MC to rest and you could take that time to tell your boss.

I mean I don't hope that he turns violent... But just in case he does, I feel you should see a doctor then make a police report.

 

[Amulet]

I agree with Ting.

Liangjia darling, it's difficult to have peace if he has such unstable temper. *pats*

Do consider divorce/seperation if you really can't live with him under the same roof. I understand your son likes his papa, but even after divorce, he can still see his papa. I know it is difficult.. By divorcing/seperating, you're protecting yourself in the eyes of law. :wong19:

agree with autumn82..

 

[Ting]

Go to the family court, Protection Order Services unit, Level 1, Family and Juvenile Court Building.... File a Magistrate's Complaint asking for a personal protection order....

When you see the magistrate, start telling him/her your story and how he is terrorizing you and not paying for anything (Drop a few tears at this point)....

Add that he has beaten you up before, now terrorizing and forcing you to have lunch with him every work day, and you are afraid to see him as he might beat you up again.... (Start sobbing uncontrollably and hug yourself with your arms and take a step backwards at the same time)

At this point, the magistrate would normally issue a summons to be served to your husband.....

Since he stays in JB and summons cannot be served outside Singapore, the summons will be served to his office!!!

Since you're at it, file another maintenance order for your child as he is not paying for your child's upkeep....
Let his colleagues know what kind of a lying cheating bastard he is!

Sit back, relax and watch show....

I'm very sure he minds losing face right? :tlaugh:

wah, teaching again teaching again!!:tlaugh:

 

[Ting]

liang jia, agree with autumn82, even if divorce your son still can see him..
we all know u love your son very much n the fact tt he can click with his dad, tt scenario definately touch hearts.
but u need to protect yourself too.
its definately not healthy for u n in the long run, not gd for your son too.
what if u meet someone else tt is much better?? then he sure to find trouble with u since u guys not seperated or anything..

 

[masayuki]

wah, teaching again teaching again!!:tlaugh:

Works mah....

The father uses some lame excuse not to pay for his son's expenditure....
I would kick him in the balls!

 

[SunShine07]

i think it would be better that you inform your boss first before he comes n create trouble at your ofc.
but i also think very difficult for you since you just switch jobs right?
hmmm, i understand you do not want any money from him, same as me here.
but since he say til like that n insist you trf him the rent, then let him know that he is liable to pay for your son's maintenance, n you will take the rent as that.


dont mind if i ask, you plan to divorce with him or continue???

Told him already, but he said becos son not staying with him that' why he think he shouldn't pay for his expenses.

And only if i were to go back to stay with him in malaysia.....then he said he will pay all his expense. BUT....i know he will use the rental for his expenses....he is too cunning and always thinks that i am stupid! :bmad:

 

[SunShine07]

Liang Jia feel sad for you, as i hate those violent guy who turn rough on women. I agree with Ting, you should inform your boss just in case he really come up to the ofc and make trouble. He only turn rough on you but not your son?

SO far he didn't do anything like this to my son.....if he dare! I will sure go straight to the police liao!

 

[SunShine07]

I agree with Ting.

Liangjia darling, it's difficult to have peace if he has such unstable temper. *pats*

Do consider divorce/seperation if you really can't live with him under the same roof. I understand your son likes his papa, but even after divorce, he can still see his papa. I know it is difficult.. By divorcing/seperating, you're protecting yourself in the eyes of law. :wong19:

seriously, many times i really wish to divorce him, but i am afriad that he will go crazy and kill himself or kill us all...he ever said that "we all die together'....it is not that i am really afraid of him, but i just wish to settle it nicely...

sometimes, i really hope that he found another woman to carry on his life so that i can live in peace.....