Problems with in laws

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sgmel

Member
Hi all mummies,


Happy 2013 to everyone. I just got married last month and my baby will be out by June this year. Before marriage, I am staying at my husband ( boyfriend then) at his place and I will go back to my own house on satursday and he will always go back with me. Things were so far so good 1 year before marriage as I am working and will only be back home by 6pm-8pm sometimes. Although since from the start, I hate his mother alot, but I just live with it. Maybe because I only get to see her 2-3 hours everyday for the past one year. However, after 1year, I became self employed and do my own e-commerce business ( my husband quitted his job to help me with it ). The time we stayed at home tends to be longer than usual. Things started to change, my MIL came home black faced almost everyday and she will nag and talk to herself. Sometimes, she is also very overboard. Always teaching me how to treat my husband, cannot this cannot that. She dotes on my husband alot anyway. Whenever during weekend, when we slept till 11am in the morning, she will starts to knock on the door so hard and wake us up. I think she's crazy, she wake up doesnt mean people have to wake up as well. There're still many things in the list which I did not mentioned.

Well, recently she had reached my limits that I couldnt tolerate anymore. I suggested to my husband that we should move in to my parents' home for the time being till our new flat is up by 2014. However, my husband ego is too high. He thought I asked him to leave his parents and move back with me. He doesnt want people to think that he actually married in to my family. So he obviously rejected my suggestion. I just had a conflict with my MIL last sat and I havent been back to the house since then. She had also complained to my husband that whenever I see her, I didn't call her. She's the one who always pull a long face and whenever I call her ( before marriage ) she will ignored me. Now that I am married and I had to call her "ma" I didnt even feel like calling her. So ever since after marriage, I had stopped calling her.

I am thinking of staying away from her as much as I can. Since she will be at work during weekday from 8am to about 3pm. After 3pm, I will just go back to my own house until about 10pm then I go back to that house. ( she usually sleeps at that time ). For weekend, friday to sun , I will just stay at my own house. This is what I suggested to my husband and he had no problem with it.

Seek more advices from all other mummies :)
 
Chewysee

Chewysee

Member
This mother in law of urs sounds like mother in law before I got married with my husband. And things became worst after baby was born. She volunteered to take care of my boy by hiring a maid and she say she will always be there with the maid, and I disagreed, because I don't think this shld be the way to take care of a baby. It's not a dog where u can just throw it to the maid and play with the baby as and when u like!!!!!! Because of this we had a big fight and now we are not in talking terms but I'm still staying in their home -.- my mil is as irritating as urs, everyday kaopei kaobu (sorry for vulgarities) talk like she know a lot, but actually she doesn't, all her informations are always false, just that I respect her as my mil, I don't wanna xia suay her. When I was pregnant with my boy she will give comments like "give birth to boy next time tabao food for the girl's mother la, girl is better" or "why u always stay at home? U no friend ar?" Or hint that i always sticking to my husband and make until like he has no friends. Like i've said, she doesnt know anything but want to jump to conclusion, when i was pregnant, so tired leh,can rest why dont want ti rest? My husband is woeking 6 days a week, u want him to go out with his friends everyday and wake up late the next morning? Somemore i never stop my husband from going out before, infact, i always encourage him to call his friends to meet out and catch up with each other. This is like 1% of her problem only, if I want to say abt her I can say until 2014 also not done. I hate her to the extend that I complain abt my mil so much in this forum. Conclusion is, she is a piece of shit.

In my opinion,
If you can stay at ur hse until when u and ur hub can move in to ur own apartment is the best solution. Confinement do at home with the help of your mom is the best. You can have dinner with ur hubby everynight if u want to see him. Sometimes I feel that man find a lot of excuses to protect their mother (even its obvious that their mothers has a problem), and yes it's natural cause its their mother, and for us wives, we shld learn how to keep a distance from their family to lessen the quarrel and it helps to improve u and ur husband's relationship as he won't find that ur a nag. If I were u, I would have gone back to my parent's hse to stay, but too bad, the room is being rent.
 
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sgmel

Member
Chewysee said:
This mother in law of urs sounds like mother in law before I got married with my husband. And things became worst after baby was born. She volunteered to take care of my boy by hiring a maid and she say she will always be there with the maid, and I disagreed, because I dont't think this shld be the way to take care of a baby. It's not a dog where you can just throw it to the maid and play with the baby as and when you like!!!!!! Because of this we had a big fight and now we are not in talking terms but I'm still staying in their home -.- my mother in law is as irritating as urs, everyday kaopei kaobu (sorry for vulgarities) talk like she know a lot, but actually she doesn't, all her informations are always false, just that I respect her as my mother in law, I dont't wanna xia suay her. When I was pregnant with my boy she will give comments like "give birth to boy next time tabao food for the girl's mother , girl is better" or "why you always stay at home? you no friend ar?" Or hint that i always sticking to my husband and make until like he has no friends. Like i've said, she doesnt know anything but want to jump to conclusion, when i was pregnant, so tired ,can rest why dont want ti rest? My husband is woeking 6 days a week, you want him to go out with his friends everyday and wake up late the next morning? Somemore i never stop my husband from going out before, infact, i always encourage him to call his friends to meet out and catch up with each other. This is like 1% of her problem only, if I want to say about her I can say until 2014 also not done. I hate her to the extend that I complain about my mother in law so much in this forum. Conclusion is, she is a piece of shit.

In my opinion,
If you can stay at your house until when you and your hub can move in to your own apartment is the best solution. Confinement do at home with the help of your mom is the best. You can have dinner with your hubby everynight if you want to see him. Sometimes I feel that man find a lot of excuses to protect their mother (even its obvious that their mothers has a problem), and yes it's natural cause its their mother, and for us wives, we shld learn how to keep a distance from their family to lessen the quarrel and it helps to improve you and your husband's relationship as he won't find that your a nag. If I were you, I would have gone back to my parent's house to stay, but too bad, the room is being rent.
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Thanks for your reply. But the problem is, my hubby don't allow me to move back.I think I felt better after avoiding her for 3 days. No choice, if she starts her nagging session, I will just go out. Confinement I die die also will do at my own house. So you're working now or looking after your son yourself? Your situation is even worse than mine. Are you applying/waiting for flat with your husband ? Now I always warned my friends who is not married, take their in laws into consideration before marriage. Else they will have a hard life staying with them. HAHA
 
Chewysee

Chewysee

Member
I'm looking after my son with the help of my mum. looking for a job too. Yes, we are trying to apply for house at yishun, so it's near to my mum's place. But it's very difficult to find house in yishun. I tell my friends the same too. Haha, nowadays when u marry a person must see who their parents are. Better yet If they have no parents
 
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sgmel

Member
Hais Sian. Problem occurred again today. As I'm staying with my in law currently, I only come back to my parent house on Saturday and go back to in law house on Sunday. But ever since some conflict between me and my in law happened, I come back one more day to my parent house. Which is every Friday to Sunday. Just when my hb and I were having dinner, my FIL suddenly called to ask my hb where are him etc. Say why stay at my house never inform this and that. I think he's really trying to find fault. All along We had been doing this since 1month ago and everyweek he has to call my hb to report strength. What is wrong with him seriously. Anyway, since I'm not in a good term with both in laws, I always walk passed them without greeting them. It happened for like 1month already. Do you mummies think I should continue doing what I'm doing? I really want to move back to my parents' house but hb kept insisted. What should I do???
 
quincy1986

quincy1986

Active Member
are you and your hubby getting your own place to stay?

my fil often likes to irritate me.
sometimes he does things like asking where is my hubby.
the fact is i dont really bother about where or what my hubby does during his office hours.
worse still, my hubby told me that before my fil ask me that question, he already call home and inform everyone where he will be going.

many things that my in-laws try to tell me, i become the more irritating person.
i go like " orh / uh / ya / ok " and i make sure i look very thick skin but at the same time i sound very polite.
what to do? i am also a peace loving person. i am trying my best not to quarrel with anyone.
sometimes my fil got very irritated and he shouted at me. then i am still like "orh ok."
 
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sgmel

Member
Yes, but our flat will only be ready 2quater of 2015 I think. I think I can't even lun until then. I can't make myself talk to her anymore. Two days ago, my hubby ate ice cream and left the ice cream scooper at the basin.She ownself washed her own cup the next day. Obviously she's waiting for me to wash it. She cannot help to wash meh. I'm just going to heck care and leave it to rot at the basin, see how long can it rot there. Now both me and hb like staying with 2invisable person. Hb also seldom talk to his parents.
 
A

Alisa

Active Member
sgmel said:
Yes, but our flat will only be ready 2quater of 2015 I think. I think I can't even lun until then. I can't make myself talk to her anymore. Two days ago, my hubby ate ice cream and left the ice cream scooper at the basin.She ownself washed her own cup the next day. Obviously she's waiting for me to wash it. She cannot help to wash meh. I'm just going to heck care and leave it to rot at the basin, see how long can it rot there. Now both me and hb like staying with 2invisable person. Hb also seldom talk to his parents.
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yr husband use the ice cream scooper, why he put in the basin and not wash himself? I hate it when ppl don put things back where they took from and expect ppl to help them do. whenever my fil put his cup in the basin, i will not wash too. He drink the cup and expect ppl to wash?
 
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