Public transport passengers treats pregnant lady invisible

Peiyi

Peiyi

New Member
My worse encounter on the train was during my first pregnancy, this foreign lady with a 4-5 years old son, asked me to stand up and let his son have the seat! She says "the picture on reserved seats shows mother and son!", I was 4 months preg, I looked at her tell her "hello! I'm pregnant".
 
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babyeskimo

Member
I thought i was alone! I felt so tired during my first trimester I always hoped I could sit.
I used to be very slim, so even now its not obvious at 14 wks (esp with loose clothes) :-(
I always see young kids watching movies on their iPhones in the priority seat and really feel like asking them to move but i usually only have a few stops so I don't bother...

However, when i told my friend abt these incidents she said its a very fine line... because she has seen many instances a guy offers his seat and the woman just glares - apparently she was just fat. so its a fine line btw being and idot and an idot. as she puts it, even sometimes she's very weary if the lady is pregnant or just fat and doesn't know what to do - there is no winning (even for the person sitting down!)
 
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dramaqueen

Member
I am 31 wks pregnant n was sitting at e priority seat.. Thrs another pregnant women who gt on e train n standing in front of me.. i caught her glaring at me for nt giving up e seat for her.. I dono if she cld see my tummy despite being tt big.. Bt well i noe how it was like standing wif a big tummy, i ask e lady beside me to give her e seat.. E pregnant lady nv even say thank you or express any form of gratitude..

I just feel tt, if u get help frm ppl.. Atleast be grateful n say thank you.. Don't take things for granted.. Smtimes i also feels tts one of e reason y ppl don't offer help.. coz sm ppl just don have e most basic manner..
 
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Iqa

Member
Last year..i was preggy 4 or 5 mths..i was walking like a penguin since im small built..was gg to mit hubby at bugis,frm bnlay.so the train arrived n i 'wobbled' in..aiyo no seat. -.-

Lets be dramatic abit ok :)
'Doors r closing tit tit tit tit'..a lady tapped me n pointed to someone at the next door aligning me.a malay guy was waving crazily at me n pointed to the seat infront of him.i think his gf was sitting n smilling at me.PAISEH la like dat.I tried to go over bt hard la since train was moving.

What moved me the most was..She got up,came to me n firmly hold on to my hand n lead me to her sit.And i was like,'Thank u so much..U shldnt have.' And of course i was blushing like hell..hahaa..Few stops ltr they alighted..

That really touched my heart..May god bless them :)
 
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cyberie

Member
i agree.. there are still nice ppl around who will give up seats to preggy woman...
though at times.. u know ppl are just faking sleep..

Meet a nice guy today who ask the lady sitting at priority seat to give up his seat to me..
Although i know the lady saw me and close her eyes.. (not sure if she notice my tummy)...
but when she stand up and let me have the seat. i thank both the guy and lady..

Well.. i guess we should always thank ppl who give up seats to us.. basic courtesty..
cos they may be as tired as us and do hope to have a seat throughout the journey..
 
Janellebb

Janellebb

Member
6th months pregnant now. Bb bump considered small but i think can see a bit pop from clothes, if wear cotton on singlet then can see obvious.. But until now, no matter what i wear i always take bus back to my own house like got around 10 stops like that, nobody spare me seat and yet give me a super stare like as if they never see people pregnant like that! So pissed of when everytime they give me such stare.. Wtf
 
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eeneyminey

Member
I just got off the train n it was amazing how these ppl treat pregnant lady. Not just that they dont offer me the reserved seats, but when i was approaching a normal empty seats, there were these prc women (not intended to be racist) who just ran n snatched the seats from me n laugh at me while one of them actually stepped my shoes!!!!!

And fyi, i'm 23 wks preg n there is no way ppl cant notice that i'm pregnant now unless they're blind.
 
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milkshake

Member
As one of the previous posters mentioned, in other countries there are designated seats in the train for elderly, handicapped, pregnant etc and nobody wld touch these seats even with a packed train. In Seoul, each carriage had 8 seats clustered in the corner and designated as such and nobody touches them and usually I see elderly people sitting despite how packed the train can be.

What I don't understand here is, it's basic moral values that you give up your seat to elderly, handicapped, pregnant etc -- REGARDLESS if you are sitting in the reserved seat or not. Often times, the people sitting on the non-reserve seat are just as guilty for not giving up their seat because they feel the person on the reserved seat should. But what if the reserved seat was truly occupied by someone elderly, handicapped, pregnant etc?

I've encountered kind people who give their seats up and some who pretend to sleep the moment I get in. As I live 4 stops to my office it's still bearable but there are times during peak hours I still get shoved despite my big belly. Once an elderly nun stood up on her reserved seat further up the carriage n waved frantically at me to take her seat but I signaled to her that I was alighting soon. Bless such people!
 
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eeneyminey

Member
I couldnt agree more..

There was once too that i alighted a train and there was this guy who looks like he's around 50-60, but healthy just that hair all white already. he stood up and gave me his seat (reserved seat), but since i saw him like pretty old too, so i politely say "Thanks, but it's okay. You can sit." He smiled and thanked me back.

But then there were also these 2 teenage girls sitting right next to him, just looked at me and chit chatting by themselves.

I hope i can educate my lil one to be more well-mannered and have more sympathy towards others.

Another side track i'd like to share, not related to train. When i was waiting for lift in my block, there were this other lady and a lil boy (i think ard pri 1 or even kindergaten) waiting together. Once the lift opened, this boy held up his hand to make the lift keep open and signalled us ladies to get in first. The other lady then said, "no boy, u get in first.." but he just keep standing there holding the lift open..

I feel so touched and i cant helped share a smile and conversation with the other lady. I hope when i have a boy, i can educate him the same way..
 
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Mamma On the Move

New Member
I totally agree, when I was pregnant it was very rare that someone would let me sit, and having to take two very busy trains per day it was no fun!
So after my son was born I tried to find a solution to help other mums-to-be.
I think there is a double problem, on one hand pregnant women might feel shy about asking for a seat, on the other sometimes it’s not so easy to know if someone is actually pregnant or just a bit overweight, particularly at the beginning.
That’s why I have created a collection of stylish but fun t-shirts and accessories designed to help women get a seat. They are also ideal to announce and celebrate a pregnancy.
Check out www.mammaonthemove.com
Hope this will help future mums-to-be to improve their travelling experience!
 
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felicity

Active Member
Occasionally when ppl give up seats for me I'll be super grateful and thank them so profusely!! I cannot imagine anyone that doesn't thank others for giving them the seats... Don't understand how ppl can be so unappreciative.
 
cn naz

cn naz

Member
I was discussing about this with my friends, why some people didn't give up seat to pregnant ladies. They said that sometimes other people don't know she's pregnant, coz they thought she's just fat. I mean, wtf, right, you see belly big and you think she's fat? They said they didn't want to assume she's pregnant and give up seat and in the end she's just fat and feels insulted.

Last time in MRT I was 7 months pregnant and nobody gave me a seat, too. I was okay with it until the MRT stopped suddenly and I almost fell. THEN people gave up seats.
 
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Alisa

Active Member
NingNingMummy said:
Actually Preggy Ladies, why wait for someone to give up the seat to you? Juz go up to the Reserved seating areas and asked whoever (not elderly, not young children, not disabled) to give up the seat to you bcos you are pregnant.

I was preggy 2 times, and 2 times, i did just that. And i make sure i Thank you the person loudly.

and when i am not pregnant, i DID give up my seats to (elderly, young children or disabled) even if i am not seating at the Reserved seating areas.
To be honest, there are certain times i missed giving up the seats bcos i really fell asleep or i simply can't tell whether that lady is preggy or just plain with a fat tummy..

My point is, if you need the seat, Speak up!
Most people are nice or polite enough to give up the seats if you ask them to...whether Singaporean or foreign talenet...
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i agreed with Ningningmummy.

If u need a seat, whether u are preg or not feeling, speak up. pls don assume ppl must know that u are preg, sick or not. u will know that u are preg but to strangers, u may be on the plump side. That happen to my SIL, she is pump even b4 she is preg so when she is even at 6-7 mths, she say nobody give seats to her, i said, u are not even wear preg wear, u expect ppl to guess whether u are preg or just plump???

i consider myself lucky, tho i seldom take MRT or bus when i was preg but always got ppl give seats to me without me asking cuz i always wear preg wear and my bump is too big for me cuz i am pettie size. i also thanks ppl who gave seats to me cuz not 1 person give up seat, in fact, 2 of them from opp seats in MRT. i ever board a very packed bus and i am standing beside the bus driver, an auntie gave up her seat and ppl around move 1 side for me to pass thru.

Ladies, we cannot always wait for ppl to guess as i read 1 post by a mummy that a pino fake preg so there are ppl like that. just ask nicely if u really need to sit. don feel shy and yet complain about ppl not giving up seats. they are also paying the same amount of fare, they have the right to sit too. Its only a courtesy if ppl do give seat to us but this is not a must if they do not.
 
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etep9114

Member
cn naz said:
I was discussing about this with my friends, why some people didn't give up seat to pregnant ladies. They said that sometimes other people don't know she's pregnant, coz they thought she's just fat. I mean, wtf, right, you see belly big and you think she's fat? They said they didn't want to assume she's pregnant and give up seat and in the end she's just fat and feels insulted.

Last time in MRT I was 7 months pregnant and nobody gave me a seat, too. I was okay with it until the MRT stopped suddenly and I almost fell. THEN people gave up seats.
Click to expand...
You are lucky. Days ago, I was in the train with my hubby from Habourfront to Farrer Park when something happened... I loose my balance and someone's elbow knocked on my right kidney area. Super painful... what makes it worst, my legs are experiencing cramp right after that... I got out at Dhoby Ghaut to get a seat in the station to rest. It's a weekend evening so the crowd makes it impossible to even go near a seat. When I reached home, I realized that there's slight spotting. I was traumatized. After consulting the gynea and scans, I'm lucky that the bb is okay. This incident is enough for me to avoid peak hours or crowded trains. I'll take cab nowadays if really can't avoid...
 
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silver0809

New Member
my last 2 visits to my gynae b4 i gave birth, i went alone taking MRT as my hubby cannot get away with his work. so once is at wk40 n another is wk41. nobody gave up their seats.
 
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babyeskimo

Member
I have thickened my skin and just ask for seat these days. Too scared that I will lose footing and knock into someone or something and hurt baby.

if the bus/mrt is full is kinda difficult, but when its moderately full and easy enough to walk to the priority seats i walk up and say, "Excuse me, do you mind?" to the young person that obviously doesnt need it as much.

Stand up for ourselves! no one will look after us, better look after ourselves. Most of the time some nice elderly lady will give up seat for me though.
 
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