Quit job for baby making project?

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Babyplz

New Member
Hello all,

I just joined this forum and hope to have your thoughts and sharing... Been married for 7 years and we are hoping to start a family as we are reaching our mid 30s

Been thinking of quitting my job since last year due to very stressful job.. Having multiple projects with tight timelines, been going home late (10-12pm) daily and weekend stressing up over many outstanding tasks.. And hubby not happy about it..

Shd I quit my good paying job to try for a baby? Many thanks in advance for your advice..
 
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organic

New Member
It actually depend on yourself as to what you and your hubby want?
1. Are you willing to give up your high pay job?
2. You sure you will find another well paid job next time?
3. Are you gonna be a full time mum?
4. Are you 100% sure you will have baby just by quitting your job?
5. Is your hubby pay alone enough to support whole family and baby in future?

I would suggest why not you change your current hetic and stress lifestyle? try to balance your work and social life, take leave to relax and make a baby with your hubby?
 
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Mandy Wong

Member
If i were you, i will consider some of the points:

- Am i happy with the job? Since you mentioned that its quite stressful and you always have to work till close to midnight, i think you shld quit.
- Is having a baby very important to you?
If having a baby is very important to you, then you shld quit and focus on making baby? or find another less stressful job?
- Are you ok with finding a job with lesser pay?

I personally think it is hard to have strike a balance bet a career and family life at the same time.. depends on what you choose.
 
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arkin2010

Member
sometimes even if your decision may go against the tide and everyone is not that understanding towards you,it may not mean you have made a wrong choice. Considering your hubby opinion, if he can support u in term of both financially and emotionally, that is a plus point. To you, how much is enough to support the period of time that you are not working? I have seen some low-income earning less than 2k per mth still get on their lives ,it depend individual lifestyle and mindset. I have read some who earn better yet complaining not enough to spend. Lastly,if after trying a period of time of balancing work n starting family does not work, why not quit and try? Time gone, age gone also mean chances lessen and lower. money gone,lost touch of society etc still may catch back.
 
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neohbeehong

Member
Hi,

I had same experienced with you, I'm almost going home late daily even sometimes nextday morning & also work at home almost every weekend. This working life continually almost 2 years+..I start asking myself "How to making baby since no intercouse". I used out my whole energy to my daily work & very stressful with the deadlined.

I was tender my resignation few times but getting reject from my boss. Finally my boss accept my resignation this March 2011. Then I start my baby project afterthat since I plan almost 7 year...start my IVF project..intitial I'm very hard to decide & my mind come with a lot of question mark;
-I need to let go my pay
-what if I'm pregnant no one to hire me
-a big bore if not working during ivf process or successfully getting pregnant
seen like everything I want..finally I decide to let go my career 1st & concentrate my baby project

Work can be easily get but baby is not? Make sure no regret after making any decision.
 
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Angiebee

New Member
Dear Ladies..

I am new to this forum... Me too quit from job to wait for baby arrival...

We have been married for 5 years now... start trying after 2nd year of marriage but hubby busy study part time certificate... not really active ... :embarrassed:

Since i am turing 35 next year .... we decided to throw everything aside first and concentrate on this big project first....

Quiet from job since Feb till now aug (6 months pass... still now news sigh)
Manage to find a suitable traditional chinese medicine in April now still in process trying... Hope to have some good news soon...

By the way ladies since not working how to kill your time....

HOpe for good news soon..

Best Regards
Angiebee
 
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neohbeehong

Member
Hi Angie

Welcomed lady. I did attend morning Yoga classes at Community Centre & swimming sometimes. I heared that Yoga will help on conceive. Maybe you can attending some short course or maybe look for free lunch partime job.

May i know where is your TCM you look for? How long you give yourself trying for TCM?
 
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Angiebee

New Member
Hi Bee Hong,

Already attending Yoga class and baking class at CC .... Swimming i cant swim... Hmmm and what is free lunch partime job? I am getting those feeling like wasting my "Youth" away for staying at home doing much much or bring in any $$$ for the household....

I am seeing this TCM now...start only in April... due bad coughing doctor ask us to stop trying for 1 month...

(1) Ban Choon Chan
Blk 81, #01-636, Marine Parade Central Singapore 440081
Tel: 6334 6718
Business Hours:
Mon-Wed-Thur-Fri: 8.30am-4pm
Sat: 8.30am-3pm
Sun: 8.30am-12pm
Closed on Tue and Public Holidays
 
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serene78

New Member
Hi Ladies,

Me too.. Quit so that can focus on this. Love my job so much, so when I quit, it really hurts, and I cried a lot cos I cannot bear to leave all work behind. But what to do? Age is catching up, and babies are more important... I am willing to give up all these material stuffs in exchange of my baby with my beloved husband.

So now, here I am trying very hard to have active lifestyle, so that body will be stronger... I may go to IVF as well. Have started the 1st consultation with Dr Loh in KKH. Have to wait till late Sep then will know how to proceed from there.

It's really bored to be at home, so I will allocate an activity per day. For example,
Mon - Gym
Tue - Swimming
Wed - Spa
Thu - Herbal Steam
Fri - Swimming

Usually, I'm those whom is "3 min hotness"... so by spreading these exercising, and by not pushing myself to the limit in all exercises, I was hoping this lifestyle will last longer.

My advice to all will be to have a checkup with your gynae as soon as possible.. you never know what problems you might have. I remembered that I was so surprised to know that I do not ovulate regularly, since my menses are so accurate, and the discharge thingy is correct as well. Anyway, that's 3 years ago, and I have gotten over it.. i think.

We must be happy, and relax.. and positive!
 
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Angiebee

New Member
Hi Serene,

IVF ? Wohh is a painful procedure... my friend just did it last friday.. (Could not get up to walk for 3 days)

Ya do some work out to make ourselve stronger and healthier while TTC...Spa and Herbal steam .. (expensive activity)

As for check up ya we had done so... we are normal that why we turn to TCM and he is trying to "Tai" our body to the best condition and help us spot the "PEAK" time to do it...

Hopfully we get it soon....
 
Phoebii Cheng

Phoebii Cheng

Well-Known Member
Hi

If you quit your job to try for baby, why not consider getting a part-time job? or work from home while trying for baby? at least not so bored....

And also it takes 2 to make babies, if you are relaxed, your hubby must relax too.....I mean cut down on projects or workload
 
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cheryltong

New Member
Hi all,

Think other than the wife need to do their part, the husband also need to be involved too.. Just my 2 cents worth of opinion, if we ladies provides a good environment, shouldn't the men also make sure they have a healthy n active lifestyle, so that the sperm would be healthy n strong.. I just recall that my hubby n I been trying for quite a while too, but its only after he took up sports n been active in sports that I managed to conceived. :)
 
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serene78

New Member
Hi Angiebee, yes, IVF is painful.. but i do not have a choice.. both of me and hubby have problems, so I have to consider this procedure... I'm totally terrified with needles - can't imagine poking myself everyday for it... but have to be strong on this... My Spa is the package that I have previously... so finally now got time to go... Herbal Steam will help me to sweat, cos I do not seem to sweat at all, doing a few steam session already, now can sweat a little. It's $20 per session... yes, it is expensive, considering only 20mins.. but I have to keep myself happy... having depression now and can't sleep at night :(

Hi Phoebii, have considered this route before... however, I enjoy working in my previous job until I would love to work even during weekends, and staying late... end result is I dun have time for my hubby... and no time to exercise at all (I'm overweight, so have to slim down or at least maintain in order to have higher chance of conceiving). So I have to do a clean break... Now, still thinking if want to find a more relaxing job, but very wary of my own character that I most likely will try to impress the boss and stress myself again... so see how is my next visit to Dr Loh lor. If need to start IVF, most likely cannot work already.

Hi Cherly, agree with you. My hubby has tried to come back on time, and on weekend we will try to go swimming.

Good Luck to all :)
 
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Angiebee

New Member
Yes i agreed both must be relax and enjoy and be healthy to increase the chance of conceive... But seems like he is not listening to me.... sometime really angry with him... keep saying we are losing out to other pple of our age group and we are not earning money fast enough ect ect.....

Every night come home either hug his book or his Ipad... really dont know what to do already.... Sometime come to think i give up so much things stay home to try for bb... but he is not doing much to co-operate .... i am very upset... and feel like going out work again... Getting depression soon....

:nah::nah::nah:
 
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Angiebee

New Member
Phoebii Cheng said:
Hi

If you quit your job to try for baby, why not consider getting a part-time job? or work from home while trying for baby? at least not so bored....

And also it takes 2 to make babies, if you are relaxed, your hubby must relax too.....I mean cut down on projects or workload
Click to expand...


I would love to work from home.... but where to find such job ? At least have some of my own income... i can buy things that i like and also not so boring stay home to do housework, watch korea drama and excerise....
 
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neohbeehong

Member
Angiebee said:
Hi Bee Hong,

Already attending Yoga class and baking class at CC .... Swimming i cant swim... Hmmm and what is free lunch partime job? I am getting those feeling like wasting my "Youth" away for staying at home doing much much or bring in any $$$ for the household....

I am seeing this traditional chinese medicine now...start only in April... due bad coughing doctor ask us to stop trying for 1 month...

(1) Ban Choon Chan
Blk 81, #01-636, Marine Parade Central Singapore 440081
Tel: 6334 6718
Business Hours:
Mon-Wed-Thur-Fri: 8.30am-4pm
Sat: 8.30am-3pm
Sun: 8.30am-12pm
Closed on Tue and Public Holidays
Click to expand...


Hi Angie

Thanks for sharing & info. Seen like we have the same interest. How long you have been joining Yoga? Is your instructor good? You need to quit immediately if you successfully pregnant because my instructor told me. I will join my Yoga till Oct'11 because going to start my 1st IVF, I dont't want any mistake on my trial..a big "kei si".


My gynea told me dont't take any chinese medicine during this period of time. Initially I plan to see "Thong Ji" but afraid that have conflict between chinese & western medicine. Did your "sin seh" did acupuncture on you? Is it expensive per visit?


You can look for this website for part time job Part Time Jobs in Singapore - Job Vacancy @ Job Search JobStreet.com Singapore=

How long you will give yourself trying for traditional chinese medicine? Did you consider IUI or IVF?
 
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serene78

New Member
Angiebee, go travelling.. Go somewhere that have no internet and TV... just a 3D2N getaway during your fertile period might do the trick?
 
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neohbeehong

Member
Angiebee said:
Yes i agreed both must be relax and enjoy and be healthy to increase the chance of conceive... But seems like he is not listening to me.... sometime really angry with him... keep saying we are losing out to other pple of our age group and we are not earning money fast enough ect ect.....

Every night come home either hug his book or his Ipad... really dont know what to do already.... Sometime come to think i give up so much things stay home to try for baby... but he is not doing much to co-operate .... i am very upset... and feel like going out work again... Getting depression soon....

:nah::nah::nah:
Click to expand...
Hi lady,

I can understand your feeling. Me too want to give up when I did my IUI past month ago. I angry & upset because my husband said can postponed to turn up on sperm submission. I did all the injection onto my body & suffer from pain now he told me can't make it & postponed.
I said to him die die must turn up. I don't expect he accompany me go to hospital when doing ovulation scanning & somemore I did all injection myself.

I let go my job & pay$$ to making baby for him. I ask myself "stupid" decision.

2 week ago we went for IVF counselling, we discuss the topics of feeling, handling & role & task on both couple. Wife act as "executor" where husband act as "manager". Executor will perform the task whereas manager will manage & organise the whole project. Both should involve equally for the whole IVF process. Counsellor said we should tell our sad feeling to our husband. She said don't assume your husband will know our feeling. Initially I didn't tell my feeling to him yet expect him to know my feeling. So you should tell your husband making baby is both task not you only.
 
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neohbeehong

Member
serene78 said:
Hi Ladies,

Me too.. Quit so that can focus on this. Love my job so much, so when I quit, it really hurts, and I cried a lot cos I cannot bear to leave all work behind. But what to do? Age is catching up, and babies are more important... I am willing to give up all these material stuffs in exchange of my baby with my beloved husband.

So now, here I am trying very hard to have active lifestyle, so that body will be stronger... I may go to IVF as well. Have started the 1st consultation with Dr Loh in KKH. Have to wait till late Sep then will know how to proceed from there.

It's really bored to be at home, so I will allocate an activity per day. For example,
Mon - Gym
Tue - Swimming
Wed - Spa
Thu - Herbal Steam
Fri - Swimming

Usually, I'm those whom is "3 min hotness"... so by spreading these exercising, and by not pushing myself to the limit in all exercises, I was hoping this lifestyle will last longer.

My advice to all will be to have a checkup with your gynae as soon as possible.. you never know what problems you might have. I remembered that I was so surprised to know that I do not ovulate regularly, since my menses are so accurate, and the discharge thingy is correct as well. Anyway, that's 3 years ago, and I have gotten over it.. i think.

We must be happy, and relax.. and positive!
Click to expand...

Hi Serene,
We are proud to make this decision. A lot of people wouldn't understand our feeling.

It's safe to perform herbal steam & spa during this period of time trying? Would it affect fertility & harm to baby what if you pregnant? I totally stop my Javanese & foot massage during this period of time. I read one of the magazine mentioned that aromatherapy oil will harm to our body during pregnancy period.

IVF waiting time for at KK quite long..4 to 5 month. My 1st appointment on Apr'11 & done all the checkup on May'11 & I need to wait till late Sep'11 to start my 1st IVF cycle. Waiting time in KK was fantastic. I don't expect & therefore I need to plan my daily schedule longer. Waiting time is nervous if we are not working, getting bored & no income. How to kill our time??
 
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