Rough confinement period

newmum80

Member
I practically have no family support nor can afford confinement lady etc. Not only have to look after baby and also my 2 yr + boy who is not behaving and causing more trouble. On top of that, still trying to pump milk though not much but also good enough. My whole body ESP my back near buttock aches so badly especially after lying down for long & trying to get up to feed baby. Feels like my life is living hell. Hubby not drawing back money, can't even dare to buy tonic/herbal stuffs as wana save it to pay bills which is more important.

This 2nd preggy, I can feel my body weaken alot but sigh, can't do anything too.

If it is not bcos of my kids, I so hope to sleep & never wake up.
 

malibu

Member
I practically have no family support nor can afford confinement lady etc. Not only have to look after baby and also my 2 yr + boy who is not behaving and causing more trouble. On top of that, still trying to pump milk though not much but also good enough. My whole body ESP my back near buttock aches so badly especially after lying down for long & trying to get up to feed baby. Feels like my life is living hell. Hubby not drawing back money, can't even dare to buy tonic/herbal stuffs as wana save it to pay bills which is more important.

This 2nd preggy, I can feel my body weaken alot but sigh, can't do anything too.

If it is not bcos of my kids, I so hope to sleep & never wake up.
Hey mummy, don't get so distressed, look like your boy just want more attention from you, try ask him to help you around when you attent to the baby.
For me, my milk flow improve from the 2nd month onward, just keep thinking and looking at your baby when latching and expressing, it will help in let down of breast milk.
If you do not mind, i'll love to pass you bottle of Dom as i received a few bottle during my confinement, sorry can't help much but can lend you a listen ear :)
Hope everything will get better soon and take good care of yourself:)
 

newmum80

Member
Thanks Malibu mummy for your kind support. My boy is pretty strong, we did ask him to help but many times he likes to cough, sneezes, yell/make loud noise in front of baby face very close even after telling him many times. He likes to dance or jump on the bed when I am trying to feed baby. Just makes lots of monkey business to piss u off. Sometime, I feel like getting a cane & whack his butt. Stubborn & dun listen. Putting him to sleep also a big task.

My baby gal looks so fragile and delicate. Her legs looks so delicate, hospital PD told me she got loose hips & after hearing that, I felt solo guilty & bad for not taking care of myself when pregg with her. Did not take any tonics except occasionally multi vitamins & calcium.

Did not send my 2 yo to sch yet as can't afford. I wonder does kids get more guai / obedient after attending school. Whatever it is, hopefully condition will improve & able to send him to school.
 

Sad 33

Member
Hi newmum80,
I am sorry to hear of the situation at your end. I hope things are more positive on your end now. Maybe your hubby can't afford to give you luxury and you are emotionally and physically tortured by your older boy and newborn. I hope the power of love from your hubby and little ones do bring greater joy to you to overcome the unpleasant. Always think positively, that's what I am trying to do now too.
Take care...
 

clare chan

New Member
Thanks Malibu mummy for your kind support. My boy is pretty strong, we did ask him to help but many times he likes to cough, sneezes, yell/make loud noise in front of baby face very close even after telling him many times. He likes to dance or jump on the bed when I am trying to feed baby. Just makes lots of monkey business to piss you off. Sometime, I feel like getting a cane & whack his butt. Stubborn & dont listen. Putting him to sleep also a big task.

My baby gal looks so fragile and delicate. Her legs looks so delicate, hospital pediatrician told me she got loose hips & after hearing that, I felt solo guilty & bad for not taking care of myself when pregg with her. Did not take any tonics except occasionally multi vitamins & calcium.

Did not send my 2 yo to sch yet as can't afford. I wonder does kids get more guai / obedient after attending school. Whatever it is, hopefully condition will improve & able to send him to school.
hi mummy, seeing what you type is like seeing myself now, im same as you, 3 yrs old gal bcome more n more naughty and stubborn after the newborn, attention seeker, try to talk nicely and b patient to her, but she just want to test your limit and challenge your patient. finally, i cant stand anymore and have to buy cane, but not whacking her yet. feel so sry as i have to use cane to 'threathen' her rather than talking to her nicely.

breastfeeding my newborn, no family support me on this matter, not even hubby, infact, he discourage me the most, asking me stop bf cos baby might not get enough from bf. but, bcos of failure to bf my first gal, i got veru strong determination this time, and until now, almost 4 month, im still bf.

im a working mum, despite of working, after work i gotta take care of the house cores and my 2 daughters, i feel so so tired, especially when they fall sick, i gotta wake up every 2 hours middle of the nite to chk on them.

im in heavy debts, so hubby no $ to give me any tonic during both my prenancy, even after pregnancy, no confinement lady also. not only this, during confinement, i have to do house cores, i have to attend to my 3 yrs old daughter, my hubby just reluctant to help, he will just say: daughter dont want me to do it for her.

so, push the job bac to me.

my life, after marriage, is miserable and living hell, sometimes i really regreat for having my 2 daughters, as i feel that i cant give them the best, just like my first daughter, now as i need to put more attention on my new born, she bcome more naughty, bcos i seldom sing with her, read with her as i used to.

if really can turns back time, i rather stay single.

newmum80, telling u this not to makes u feel worse, but to tell u that u r not alone, im in much worse condition than u, i survive until today, so, i believe u can do a better job than me
 
Last edited:

Sad 33

Member
Hey mummy, don't get so distressed, look like your boy just want more attention from you, try ask him to help you around when you attent to the baby.
For me, my milk flow improve from the 2nd month onward, just keep thinking and looking at your baby when latching and expressing, it will help in let down of breast milk.
If you do not mind, i'll love to pass you bottle of Dom as i received a few bottle during my confinement, sorry can't help much but can lend you a listen ear :)
Hope everything will get better soon and take good care of yourself:)
Hi malibu,
I will like to seek yr advice on confinement, if u don't mind.

All along I have a poor back, that is I suffer from nagging backache often after I mop the floor. Today is 1 wk after d&c and even though not doing any heavy housework, but only washing dishes, I suffer again from bad backache. I'm not very active now and backache comes to me after 2 hrs of waking up. I dunno why....
I thot my diet was good enough, with 2 tablespoons of Dom into the soup I drink daily from tingkat services. Do u have any advice on food for backache during this confinement period? I hope to improve my body esp back for future...
 

malibu

Member
Hi malibu,
I will like to seek yr advice on confinement, if u don't mind.

All along I have a poor back, that is I suffer from nagging backache often after I mop the floor. Today is 1 wk after d&c and even though not doing any heavy housework, but only washing dishes, I suffer again from bad backache. I'm not very active now and backache comes to me after 2 hrs of waking up. I dunno why....
I thot my diet was good enough, with 2 tablespoons of Dom into the soup I drink daily from tingkat services. Do u have any advice on food for backache during this confinement period? I hope to improve my body esp back for future...
Hi mummy,
i took milk and calcium everyday to strengthen my bones, you can try Hui Ji waist tonic which my sis said it help for her backache or can see chinese sensi for massage.
 

Sad 33

Member
Hi Malibu,
thanks for yr quick reply. Able to share what brand and dosage of calcium supplement u take? I'll get my hubby to purchase for me since now quarantine at home. :)
 

felicity

Active Member
My parents were v poor and my mum didn't take any tonic when pregnant w me n my bro, yet we are two v strong n healthy kids all the way until now all grown up. I was quite hyperactive n super talkative. I was actually excited abt my bb brother because v sian to play alone as my parents bz working OTs to bring in the dough etc so nv had time to entertain me... My nanny kinda physically abused me so when I started talking fluently at 3 I told my parents n my mum quit to look after me, n soon is pregnant w my bro. With one breadwinner we hv be even more frugal as my dad earns a few hundred per mth to feed our family of 4... We couldnt afford to dine out and only ate simple stuff at home n nv complained. My mum's confinement was only get one experienced neighbour to come n help her cook her two meals. When she's around she helped w a little chores but my mum did the bulk also. Somemore the auntie v bossy n will tell my mum dont breastfeed cos bb not enough milk etc.. And other stuff.. So we were only breastfed in the first week or two the after much nagging my mum switched to formula..

Since young my bro n I nv had tonic or supplements. Even until I graduated few years back my dad's pay is only around 1k... But we survived n we stayed strong. Both my bro n I graduated w a degree n did my parents proud and now can give my parents more money than they earned. Have faith that your children will turn out well... Hope all is better at your end now.
 
Last edited:

newmum80

Member
Hi Clare,

Thanks for sharing with me. I feel so much better now. Looking back, I think I had post natal depression after birth especially when I came home the first 2 weeks. It sort of hit to the climax point whereby I even told my hb I wana 'S' & he was devastated & kept trying so I could change my mind. I really don't know how or what but my 'depression/frustration' jus die off. I felt so much better now though financially still struggling & still no support but hb help alot in chores & caring for the 2s which indeed makes me less stress up.





hi mummy, seeing what you type is like seeing myself now, im same as you, 3 yrs old gal bcome more n more naughty and stubborn after the newborn, attention seeker, try to talk nicely and b patient to her, but she just want to test your limit and challenge your patient. finally, i cant stand anymore and have to buy cane, but not whacking her yet. feel so sry as i have to use cane to 'threathen' her rather than talking to her nicely.

breastfeeding my newborn, no family support me on this matter, not even hubby, infact, he discourage me the most, asking me stop bf cos baby might not get enough from bf. but, bcos of failure to bf my first gal, i got veru strong determination this time, and until now, almost 4 month, im still bf.

im a working mum, despite of working, after work i gotta take care of the house cores and my 2 daughters, i feel so so tired, especially when they fall sick, i gotta wake up every 2 hours middle of the nite to chk on them.

im in heavy debts, so hubby no $ to give me any tonic during both my prenancy, even after pregnancy, no confinement lady also. not only this, during confinement, i have to do house cores, i have to attend to my 3 yrs old daughter, my hubby just reluctant to help, he will just say: daughter dont want me to do it for her.

so, push the job bac to me.

my life, after marriage, is miserable and living hell, sometimes i really regreat for having my 2 daughters, as i feel that i cant give them the best, just like my first daughter, now as i need to put more attention on my new born, she bcome more naughty, bcos i seldom sing with her, read with her as i used to.

if really can turns back time, i rather stay single.

newmum80, telling you this not to makes you feel worse, but to tell you that you r not alone, im in much worse condition than you, i survive until today, so, i believe you can do a better job than me
 

newmum80

Member
Thanks felicity for sharing your story.

Olden days kids are more easy to raise (chin cai), eats anything also can grow up strong & healthy. Nowadays kids are picky even eat balanced diet still can fall sick. Nowadays environment are also more prone to flu bugs.

I so wish & pray that my son can potty train himself (he already speak fluently & understand instruction but refuse to follow it). Less diaper to wash & also can pass over his to his little sister when she grow older





My parents were v poor and my mum didn't take any tonic when pregnant w me n my bro, yet we are two v strong n healthy kids all the way until now all grown up. I was quite hyperactive n super talkative. I was actually excited abt my bb brother because v sian to play alone as my parents bz working OTs to bring in the dough etc so nv had time to entertain me... My nanny kinda physically abused me so when I started talking fluently at 3 I told my parents n my mum quit to look after me, n soon is pregnant w my bro. With one breadwinner we hv be even more frugal as my dad earns a few hundred per mth to feed our family of 4... We couldnt afford to dine out and only ate simple stuff at home n nv complained. My mum's confinement was only get one experienced neighbour to come n help her cook her two meals. When she's around she helped w a little chores but my mum did the bulk also. Somemore the auntie v bossy n will tell my mum dont breastfeed cos bb not enough milk etc.. And other stuff.. So we were only breastfed in the first week or two the after much nagging my mum switched to formula..

Since young my bro n I nv had tonic or supplements. Even until I graduated few years back my dad's pay is only around 1k... But we survived n we stayed strong. Both my bro n I graduated w a degree n did my parents proud and now can give my parents more money than they earned. Have faith that your children will turn out well... Hope all is better at your end now.
 

felicity

Active Member
Yup true.. Nowadays kids seems to be more difficult than in the past.. Sometimes I wonder why.. Is it the kids or is it the parents or is it the environment? I hope I can raise mine like how my parents raised me, although it was tough but we were sensible and resilient kids. But with such good living conditions these days, better food, more toys, and pampering from grandparents etc, I also worry how will my own kids turn out to be in future :/ have seen enough of spoilt brats around me, but wonder if it will ever be avoidable in this age. It seems to get tougher for parents as life gets better...
 

Mummy to Baby V

Well-Known Member
I practically have no family support nor can afford confinement lady etc. Not only have to look after baby and also my 2 yr + boy who is not behaving and causing more trouble. On top of that, still trying to pump milk though not much but also good enough. My whole body ESP my back near buttock aches so badly especially after lying down for long & trying to get up to feed baby. Feels like my life is living hell. Hubby not drawing back money, can't even dare to buy tonic/herbal stuffs as wana save it to pay bills which is more important.

This 2nd preggy, I can feel my body weaken alot but sigh, can't do anything too.

If it is not bcos of my kids, I so hope to sleep & never wake up.
You must stay positive, strong and cheerful. Life is beautiful, think about your blessings. Every child is a blessing and you've got two. :)

My boy is 3+ years old and baby is 7 months old. He's generally a sweet boy but until now, there are still days when he wants to make noise when I'm trying to make baby nap. He simply wants more attention and love. I'm SAHM, previously my attention was 100% on him, now he has to share with baby, so it's naturally he'd find ways to get my attention.

So when I'm breastfeeding baby, I'd have my boy close by me and I read a book to him.

In the early months, I often carried baby in a sling (so that he'd be contented), then I can continue taking care of the older boy almost like before. The more he feels my love, the better he behaves. It's tough on us to juggle so many things, yet just got to try to be patient with the older child. Let him help out and feel important too.

I didn't take any special tonic, herb or DOM during confinement because of breastfeeding, even continued with vegetarian diet. Balanced healthy diet plus rest is a already very good. I do take supplements recommended by obgyn - multivitamin, caltrate + D, and fish oil.

My dad was also sole income earner, earning a modest and unstable income. Yet my mum overcame it and brought up 3 of us, who did well in school, and are good girls. We never had luxuries, learnt to treasure whatever we had, and learnt to work hard to reap our own rewards.

Be strong, a woman (especially a mother) can overcome all odds. All the best! :)
 

felicity

Active Member
riding on the thread a bit.. paiseh..


Mummy to Baby very, do you have any vegetarian confinement recipes to share?
 

Mummy to Baby V

Well-Known Member
hi mievee,
i like the fact u read book to yr older while feeding the baby. thumbs up! :D
Ha, I learnt this from a book - What Baby Needs, from Dr. Sears. We've read this book before baby arrived, to prepare the older boy about baby's crying, breastfeeding, etc. It helped a lot.
 

Mummy to Baby V

Well-Known Member
riding on the thread a bit.. paiseh..


Mummy to Baby very, do you have any vegetarian confinement recipes to share?
Oh, I stay in KL now, so catered vegetarian confinement food. It includes vegetables / beans with ginger, various types of mock meat (from beans instead of gluten) cooked with various sauces like sweet/sour, vinegar, honey, daily soup. Generally, similar to regular Chinese confinement meals, just replace meat with mock meat (from beans, more nutritious). I'm not vegan, so also ate eggs and drink milk as usual.
 
Top