Rude and Insensitive Question

[zazaziya@gmail.com]

Hi
Need to vent.
Someone in my block stopped my maid in her tracks, pointed to my son, and asked her point blank " Is he the autistic?".


What the??!!


Darn rude and insensitive!!!

 

[lyra]

that's so bad! maybe that someone is lowly educated, not informed? There r lots of ppl like that. Sometimes I think govt shd do more to education ppl. Education and discourages misinformation and is the first step in eradicating stigma.

 

[eurekas]

Calm down.
I believe there is karma in this world.
His/Her time is not come yet.
No worry.

 

[BeingSingle]

mean! how mean can this person be? she sick or wot? this is sickening! dont worry...she just started to turn the wheel of Karma!

 

[zazaziya@gmail.com]

if i were with my son, would this person dare ask such a question?
i would probably shoot back "why? what has it got to it with u?"
sigh...i have a friend whose son is also autistic...an aunty at the bus stop would juz turn around and and stare n stare each time they pass by until my fren got fed up and muttered "xiao zarbor!" under her breath...

our asd kids are not aliens! y do people do that?

i doubt govt cares much...mainstream education costs $11 a month for misc fees, whereas my son's education fees at pathlight wwas $500/mth, and school bus fee was $250/mth...we still had to pay even during school holidays...we r penalised for having asd kids instead of being helped..thk God my son is mild enough to make it to mainstream..cannot imagine paying close to 10k yearly for his education/bus fare at pathlight all the way till his 0 levels...his 1 yr at a special school is almost double that of my annual uni fees a decade ago!

 

[Edwinie]

since we all agree that very little is known about autism and this results in misunderstanding and stigma attached to the child, why not spend the next 5 minutes to give them a brief overview of what autism is to get them to understand? shooting back at them will further make the misunderstanding worse. it makes them feel that 'the illness is so bad/embarrassing that the parents don't even want to talk about it'.

we blame them for not understanding but do we help them to understand? they can be rude or insensitive but i believe it boils down to them not understanding at all. it might be hurtful for a moment but look pass that. =)

that's my point of view. i think it's better that the person ask directly (though insensitive and rude), than point and talk behind your back. at least if it's direct, u can strike a conversation and improve the understanding.

 

[Edwinie]

that's so bad! maybe that someone is lowly educated, not informed? There r lots of ppl like that. Sometimes I think govt shd do more to education ppl. Education and discourages misinformation and is the first step in eradicating stigma.

i don't think we should wait for the government to do something. i believe parents of autistic children can provide the information of autism better than anyone else. the various interaction of strangers/friends/colleagues/acquaintances are all opportunities to spread the word.

 

[zazaziya@gmail.com]

i hv talked abt my son's autism with friends, colleagues, relatives...while they are understanding, i can always see the look of pity in their eyes...
but talking /educating a complete stranger abt autism is not something i can do.
there is this Japanese drama serial called 光るとともに （与光同行），the main character is an autistic boy..and the mum printed phamplets about his son's autism and distributed them to the neighbours to try to gain acceptance into the community...that is one courageous mum...i do not even have the courage to finish watching the serial coz i juz couldnt stop crying through out the first few episodes...too much reality..

 

[jasobias]

My heart goes out to u
I know how insensitive pple r in sg
there is not much choice but to stay strong for ur little one
maybe u cld print out pamphlets for these ignorant pple.Vista print sometimes have great deals which wld allow you to do that at minimal cost.
stay strong my dear

 

[Edwinie]

i watched this jap show about this teenage girl who has some disease that will paralyse her full body slowly.

her dad owns a tofu stall. he wanted a supermarket to display his products but the manager turned him down. the girl's classmate happen to be the son of the manager. so he told his dad about her condition. and so the manager called her dad, telling his dad that he can display his tofu in the supermarket.

and so the dad was happy, but sad at the same time because he succeed in doing so because of the manager's pity. his wife said that pity is not a bad thing. pity means people put themselves in your shoes and feel for you. and helping u as a result.

i really liked what his wife said. =) so stay strong! look at the bright side of things.

sometimes, we do say insensitive things to others because we don't know the situation well. i don't think insensitiveness is a character thing. insensitiveness is the symptom, not understanding is the cause of it. we should differentiate these 2.

 

[zazaziya@gmail.com]

dear ladies
thanks alot for your encouragement..i do not think i can ever step out and hand phamplets abt my son...its just not smthing i can do...
plus , gonna pop anytime now, exhausted... 3rd bb on its way...pray pray pray for a healthy normal child untouched by autism....

 

[Angelmum]

and so the dad was happy, but sad at the same time because he succeed in doing so because of the manager's pity. his wife said that pity is not a bad thing. pity means people put themselves in your shoes and feel for you. and helping you as a result.

i really liked what his wife said. =) so stay strong! look at the bright side of things.

sometimes, we do say insensitive things to others because we dont't know the situation well. i dont't think insensitiveness is a character thing. insensitiveness is the symptom, not understanding is the cause of it. we should differentiate these 2.

:tbounce::we3idea: