Sad..
- Thread starter fiona
- Start date
if uncontested divorce, you shouldn't have to worry about the receipt. Usually they wont bother to look at them. Looking at your situation, you'll have a hard time processing divorce...
But b4 you go that step, try to talk to him, c if the marriage is salvageable..go for counselling?
maybe i will try for the counseling first.. because i wan to see where is the problem.. now i know tat the problem is he don't wanna move out with me n my children.. he wan to stay with his parents because he no need to pay for the house bill all tat.. but wad if one day his parents past away.. he also will need to pay all this.. is oni tat will be later.. but by den i think i will be inside the mental hospital already.. i don't like to be control by anyone.. i don't think they will like me to control them also.. if one day my in-laws finish their money n wan to stay with us.. i think they also won't be happy to see my face not happy with them.. but now my mother in law always give me a face like i owe her 1 million dollars like tat.. i don't know wad i do wrong lo.. i also do nothing wrong.. i never talk back to her, i treat her very good.. but still she give me this face to look.. really feel like slapping her face.. but my DH side her.. he don't protect me like last time.. last time when his mother scold me he will scold back his mother.. for nothing she wan to scold me.. because i bring my ds out.. den she not happy.. but now my dh seem to be coward.. i also don't like them to quarrel.. but i mean for nothing she wan to show me face.. say things to make my heart hurt.. i really have enough of this..
LoVeS
Well-Known Member
ur mil siao issit? Ur bb is urs not by her lor. In the eye of law she cannot stop u frm bringing ur child out lor. ANyway how did u tell ur dh why he scold u? Wat he said?
i ask my dh tat why his mother like not happy tat i bring my kid out? but den he say u dun not how to take care tat's y they dun let u bring.. den he say dun always say my parents ok.. den he can say my parents bad things.. n my mother in law say my parents never teach me how to repect ppl.. i'm so angry..
xiaodaisy
Active Member
den why bother to tok to dem now.. plan on ur future now.. feel sad for u but life still have to carry on rite.. if u wan e best for ur children den u have to hold on.. btw how old is u n ur hubby? i mean is dere ani commuication problem? cos sometimes age gap is kinda problem..
shopaholic
Member
I think your mil probably feels that you're too young and inexperienced to handle the kids. The elders do feel they know it all stimes. I suggest you get a job outside, get your own income rather than depend on them. Then when you're home, try as much as possible to take over the kids to show you can handle them. It's ok they cry at times but shd your mil doesnt want to let you take care, insist that you shd learn becos you're the MUM!
But on the other hand, if you really wanna get out of this marriage, then all the more impt you get a job outside and earn a stable income. It will help increase your chances of getting the kids. Even if the income is insufficient, the hubby can pay for maintenance right! Dont let them scare you into thinking no/insufficient income means cannot hv kids.
But on the other hand, if you really wanna get out of this marriage, then all the more impt you get a job outside and earn a stable income. It will help increase your chances of getting the kids. Even if the income is insufficient, the hubby can pay for maintenance right! Dont let them scare you into thinking no/insufficient income means cannot hv kids.
ya.. they think tat i won't leave them because my dh know tat i dun have money already.. den i need money for milk powder all that.. so i need to go back.. but they dun know tat i dun need them anymore.. my mother in law is damn rich.. if they wan to fight for the children how? i sure wan my two kids de.. i'm 20 this yr.. n my dh is 26.. but he never listen to me de.. so i dun talk to him alot..
jedamum
Member
fiona,
seems like your dh is afraid to move out cos he seems not financially stable and matured enough to do so. seems like you are unable to move out cos you are not financially able to do so. so what happens next?
if you want a divorce, plan carefully first. Like what other mummies suggest, get a job first. Establish your self-confidence too. Don't get 'pushed' around at home. You don't have to say anything to establish your presence/stand so long that you can carry yourself well.
Give yourself some respect first...'they don't let you go out to work? and yet ask you to help out at their stall?' How to don't let you go out to work if you can show them that you got a better job offer? They can't lock you up, right? Can you get a better job offer outside with your qualifications? It seems like a case of your ILs manipulating you and trying to diminish your esteem cos (1) you lack qualifications (2) you lack will power (3) you are young and inexperience.
Your parents is scared of them?!!!! I don't understand!!!!
seems like your dh is afraid to move out cos he seems not financially stable and matured enough to do so. seems like you are unable to move out cos you are not financially able to do so. so what happens next?
if you want a divorce, plan carefully first. Like what other mummies suggest, get a job first. Establish your self-confidence too. Don't get 'pushed' around at home. You don't have to say anything to establish your presence/stand so long that you can carry yourself well.
Give yourself some respect first...'they don't let you go out to work? and yet ask you to help out at their stall?' How to don't let you go out to work if you can show them that you got a better job offer? They can't lock you up, right? Can you get a better job offer outside with your qualifications? It seems like a case of your ILs manipulating you and trying to diminish your esteem cos (1) you lack qualifications (2) you lack will power (3) you are young and inexperience.
Your parents is scared of them?!!!! I don't understand!!!!
ya.. i got lack of experience.. but i can get better job outside other dan helping them.. i dun learn anything being with them lo.. n i dun need them to paid me money so tat i need to see their face lo.. my parents just dun wan to have anything to do with them lo.. they say dun make them angry n so on.. but i never make them angry.. n in the end she come telling me all those shit lo.. she treat me like a dog.. ask me to do this n tat without thinking for my feeling lo.. if i never listen to her den she will just tell her son tat i can't do this n tat.. as in.. housework, cook, taking care of my own kids.. but she herself carry away my kids den say i never take care of them.. i wan to take care.. but when she is at home, she take my kids into her room n close the door.. n when she is not around the maid bring my kids to her room n lock some more.. u say lei.. ya.. i noe i now dun have the money.. but my dh dun wan to save.. how to have money.. sometimes i save the money n he see my money he will ask me to pay for the bill.. how to have money? n everytime i also dun know where my dh spend his money at.. he didn't need to paid for the house things.. all is his mother paying.. i also dun know y he can't save.. aiya.. say so much also no use de la.. i'm not rush over my viewing ok.. i'm married for 3 yrs already.. n i'm not happy with this married lo.. i give him chances to change.. but i think i have enough of it already lo.. maybe next time he will change.. but i think i can't wait for the time to come already.. if i really go back to tat house, i will go crazy one day.. den at tat time i got nothing already..
jedamum
Member
Usually, I will not 'encourage' going for divorce, but...not allowing a mother to spend time with her own kids is TOO MUCH! Fiona, no point waiting for him to change...you already have given him 2 kids, and the basic 'stand up for your own wife' he can't even fulfil! TOO MUCH! TOO MUCH!! To separate mother from kids is TOO MUCH!
LoVeS
Well-Known Member
actually even u go outside working environment is also the same...u will need to see ppl's face to get paid n work. Anyway for ur case, if i am u i would divorce him liao. He has to pay allowance to u n ur son if ur son goes to u n if still not enuff u can seek help like mummies mention here. Juz do it n dun juz tink only.
ya.. i went to aware already.. den they ask me to find a job first.. den go legal aid.. but i have to get the rom cert first.. my dh dun wan to give me the cert.. he say he dun wan to divorce.. but i say is too late already lo.. maybe i'm going to the fort canning there to get another copy of the cert.. can rite?
aby
Member
Think so.. Try visitng their website and call tmr to ask in details..
about the maid thing.. i'm not the one tat is hiring the maid.. my mother in law is hiring her.. so whatever my mother in law say she must listen.. my mother in law ask her to take my children away from me.. because actually my son is slping with me.. but they dun wan him to be close to me.. so they put my son to the maid room.. den when i wan to go see my children.. she lock the room.. angry lo..