scary MIL? idk

[KAmum]

kaum, since u have chosen this, just keep a positive attitude towards it! all the best to your future planning

thank you!!

 

[KAmum]

sorry for this case i beg to differ. Yes her mil can hate her for this, but this cannot be done without her son's involvement.
I also thinking in the view of a mum, if my daughter was going to get bully like this i will not let her mil off. If she challange me about upbringing she herself also dun do a very good job in bringing up her son. This take 2 hands to clap too.

exactly wht my mum said o.o

 

[KAmum]

sometimes the older gen just can't communicate their emotions as effectively as we do... so just try not to let it affect u... she probably will tell you if she knew how to, but all she knows is to flare up when angry... stay strong for ur bf who's been really nice to u, and ur bb... stay positive! a lot of things happen in our lives for some reason, just concentrate on the positive ones and not let the negative ones affect u too much. remember we control our emotions and how we feel. at the end of the day, the whole world could scream at us but we can always tell ourselves "i will not let these people affect my mood because i'm in control of my own life, not them!"

people can choose to be happy despite circumstances... because it's really our own choice. all the best!!

thanks :') I SHALL BE STRONG.LOL XD

 

[sweetflame]

So my boyfriend and I are planning on getting married. Although we have not't fixed a date both our parents have given their approval.
So I've been going over to his house with my 4 week old baby ( like, his house in the afternoons, mine at night because no one is at home to take care of me lol) but his mum is one hell of a scary woman. She wants things to be done her way and if she doesnt get it she screams and yells the whole house down . The other day I was using a sterilizer to sterilize my baby's bottle and about to breast feed her when his mum came home from the market and started yelling at me . I dont't have sufficient breast milk for my baby but she didn't have to let the neighbors know. Embarrassing much :/
I told my boyfriend about this but I told him not to go ask him mum about it in case she gives me more problems when he's not around.
His dad and grandfather....let's just say they're far worst than she is hahaha. Anyone has any idea how to please her in the future? Considering she's gonna be my mother in law :/
Oh and they're Muslim and all. Religious. I can't buy gifts to please them because they see it as bribery

stay away from her.

 

[KAmum]

Sweetflame : but how even my mum wants me t stay w them aft marriage bt no one i know does tht... People always stay w the husband's family, no?

 

[Nora1973]

KAmum: stay away from them!!! But at the same time prove to them that both u and bf can be independent. Try rental flat from HDB or rent a room outside, as long as u are away from them.
Yes I do agree with our sisters here that most Muslim families don't agree with wedlock child.
Be nice to them always, it's ok if she wants to scream or yell etc etc as long as they don't hurt u and baby. One fine day it will stop.. Trust me
God is fair dear.

 

[KAmum]

KAmum: stay away from them!!! But at the same time prove to them that both u and bf can be independent. Try rental flat from HDB or rent a room outside, as long as u are away from them.
Yes I do agree with our sisters here that most Muslim families don't agree with wedlock child.
Be nice to them always, it's ok if she wants to scream or yell etc etc as long as they don't hurt u and baby. One fine day it will stop.. Trust me
God is fair dear.

I wished she was as nice as my neighbor. Neighbor's son also got a girl pregnant out of wedlock. got married 3 years later when they were legal and now they're so sweet to her... in fact its her husband who's nasty not her MIL. so jealous, where to find muslims so nice nowadays. sigh.
mummy is quite against the idea of me marrying him, not because he's not a good guy, but because of his family. she called them pigs haha because they asked me to give my daughter up to them for adoption.
what for? my family is so much better off than theirs. even if i were to give away my daughter for adoption I'd give her to my mum sigh so much troubleeeeee. so mahfan

 

[noelsmum]

if my daughter was going to get bully like this i will not let her mil off. If she challange me about upbringing she herself also dun do a very good job in bringing up her son. This take 2 hands to clap too.

Please don't get me wrong. I do not stand for bullying. I don't think anyone even MILs or FILs have the right to bully their DILs. I'm very firm in what is yes and what is no. My MIL knows that very clearly and my husband is on my side. But I don't live with my in laws. I don't need their help. We are very independent. In fact, we live 3 and half hrs flight away from them. And I do have clashes with my in laws and my husband has stood on my side. And my MIL has told her relatives and it went to my mother that I've no upbringing. She said this after coming to stay with us for a few days. By the way, we paid for their flights

But what I'm trying to say is that, if you need her help, yes, be nice and if she's impolite or slightly rude, take it. But if she's yelling and being abusive, of course, don't take that nonsense. Yes, it takes 2 hands to clap and it's also the woman's duty to make sure that the man has put on his protection and let now, things happened, it's best to move on. No point pointing fingers at each other.

 

[Sad 33]

i'm just wondering if any of the ladies here have blessed life to have nice inlaws? able to share so i can see bright lights?
mine sucks to max shit and frankly i HATE my inlaws to max. shld my husband be less nice to me, i will let go and get the whole family out of my life!

 

[Fisherman's Friend]

i'm just wondering if any of the ladies here have blessed life to have nice inlaws? able to share so i can see bright lights?
mine sucks to max shit and frankly i HATE my inlaws to max. shld my husband be less nice to me, i will let go and get the whole family out of my life!

What's wrong with ur in laws?

 

[KAmum]

Sigh i rlly dnt look forward t staying w them

 

[Sad 33]

What's wrong with ur in laws?

applechip, i saw yr private msg.

hey, fisherman's friend and apple chip, my in laws are very wrong in every expects and they never treat me nice though i think i am a lovable gal. hee... my own family even my mum's and father's family members all quite dote on me even though i am very big woman now.
my inlaws (father in law, mother in law and sister in law) are just a crazy bunch of stingy, miserable, only love their own family and not married in daughter in law. they go hoo haa over very very small matters which i think is absolutely crazy.

1. my sisinlaw will call my husband who is at work, where am I when I never or respond so slowly bk to her. crazy right, she thinks i am under her mercy to listen to her order or my hubby needs to track where am i every second meh? we are adults who trust each other! further she thinks i dun need to work one meh?

2. this woman will play polticis at our back and make her parents dislike me and my hubby.... i also don't know why. the only reason i can think of is that my parents in law must be rich for her daughter to want to play this kind of politics. she scared the money pass to us? however from surface i think that my parents in law are not rich at all!!!

3. she always arrange my hubby to run errands for the parents and her parents always think she is clever when in actual fact its my hubby who runs all the shit when the parents suffer from pains only cos 'service' her children, herself and her hubby.

4. my mother inlaw is a complainer and a thift who buys cheap food.. always find the cheapest around and even there is good food she never give me. e.g. she will bypass herbal drink or tonic soup to give to her soninlaw or my hubby. i am left out!
my hubby gives them money every month but she prefers to spend the money on silly things than buy better food!!!!!!
then when we bring her out, she complain this expensive that expensive... sian

5. my father in law is even more trouble than motherinlaw as he is very man fan. a little thing will make him unhappy...worst than woman. also he likes to take rubbish (Really rubbish - abt woman's private parts) to me. sometime i think if his brain goes wrong cos no shame to tell or talk in front of daughterinlaw such things?

this is how wrong the family is! lucky i got the sane from the insane family. i dunno why my hubby can come from such insane family. he always very judgement abt things and bring different light to the poor behaviors his family members ....

 

[Sad 33]

Sigh i rlly dnt look forward t staying w them

kamum,
u going to move in?

 

[KAmum]

Sigh i rlly dnt look forward t staying w them

kamum,
u going to move in?

have to , i heard. Where got custom allow woman to stay with her family one

 

[peppermint]

Sigh i rlly dnt look forward t staying w them

kamum,
u going to move in?

have to , i heard. Where got custom allow woman to stay with her family one

You have to be very very strong and be able to tolerate her nonsense. I used to be very direct blunt with my words. My family is not as trouble maker as them. We are the 'what you see is what you get' sort. But ever since I met his mother, I'm becoming as sly as her and I can wayang very well too. Hehe!

Good luck!

 

[peppermint]

Sigh i rlly dnt look forward t staying w them

kamum,
u going to move in?

have to , i heard. Where got custom allow woman to stay with her family one

You have to be very very strong and be able to tolerate her nonsense. I used to be very direct blunt with my words. My family is not as trouble maker as them. We are the 'what you see is what you get' sort. But ever since I met his mother, I'm becoming as sly as her and I can wayang very well too. Hehe!

Good luck!

Remember not to complain everything about your MIL to your hubby. He wouldn't like it and it may affect your relationship. I feel that MILs just deliberately do things to anger us so that we will quarrel with our hubby. Yes, I told my hubby that to. So I've to remain very strong and polite with her. So that she doesn't climb over me and neither will I offend her. Just maintain that distance.

I used to complain every single thing abt that witch to my hubby. And we fight a lot because of her, which is not worth it. I still complain to him these days but selected ones, and how you bring it up to him is also important.
Pick your war to fight and not fight every war.

 

[Fisherman's Friend]

applechip, i saw yr private msg.

hey, fisherman's friend and apple chip, my in laws are very wrong in every expects and they never treat me nice though i think i am a lovable gal. hee... my own family even my mum's and father's family members all quite dote on me even though i am very big woman now.
my inlaws (father in law, mother in law and sister in law) are just a crazy bunch of stingy, miserable, only love their own family and not married in daughter in law. they go hoo haa over very very small matters which i think is absolutely crazy.

1. my sisinlaw will call my husband who is at work, where am I when I never or respond so slowly bk to her. crazy right, she thinks i am under her mercy to listen to her order or my hubby needs to track where am i every second meh? we are adults who trust each other! further she thinks i dun need to work one meh?

2. this woman will play polticis at our back and make her parents dislike me and my hubby.... i also don't know why. the only reason i can think of is that my parents in law must be rich for her daughter to want to play this kind of politics. she scared the money pass to us? however from surface i think that my parents in law are not rich at all!!!

3. she always arrange my hubby to run errands for the parents and her parents always think she is clever when in actual fact its my hubby who runs all the shit when the parents suffer from pains only cos 'service' her children, herself and her hubby.

4. my mother inlaw is a complainer and a thift who buys cheap food.. always find the cheapest around and even there is good food she never give me. e.g. she will bypass herbal drink or tonic soup to give to her soninlaw or my hubby. i am left out!
my hubby gives them money every month but she prefers to spend the money on silly things than buy better food!!!!!!
then when we bring her out, she complain this expensive that expensive... sian

5. my father in law is even more trouble than motherinlaw as he is very man fan. a little thing will make him unhappy...worst than woman. also he likes to take rubbish (Really rubbish - abt woman's private parts) to me. sometime i think if his brain goes wrong cos no shame to tell or talk in front of daughterinlaw such things?

this is how wrong the family is! lucky i got the sane from the insane family. i dunno why my hubby can come from such insane family. he always very judgement abt things and bring different light to the poor behaviors his family members ....

I think your fil is crazy!! How can he tok to those things to you?? That is just so wrong!! But lucky la, u already out of there, im still in hell :/

 

[Alisa]

Remember not to complain everything about your MIL to your hubby. He wouldn't like it and it may affect your relationship. I feel that MILs just deliberately do things to anger us so that we will quarrel with our hubby. Yes, I told my hubby that to. So I've to remain very strong and polite with her. So that she doesn't climb over me and neither will I offend her. Just maintain that distance.

I used to complain every single thing abt that witch to my hubby. And we fight a lot because of her, which is not worth it. I still complain to him these days but selected ones, and how you bring it up to him is also important.
Pick your war to fight and not fight every war.

i too got in to fight with my husband due to mil and he always stands by his mom tho she may be in the wrong so now i don talk/complain about his mom to him, i turn to writting diary & forum.

 

[KAmum]

Sigh i rlly dnt look forward t staying w them

kamum,
u going to move in?

have to , i heard. Where got custom allow woman to stay with her family one

You have to be very very strong and be able to tolerate her nonsense. I used to be very direct blunt with my words. My family is not as trouble maker as them. We are the 'what you see is what you get' sort. But ever since I met his mother, I'm becoming as sly as her and I can wayang very well too. Hehe!

Good luck!

thank you omg I'll need it

 

[KAmum]

Sigh i rlly dnt look forward t staying w them

kamum,
u going to move in?

have to , i heard. Where got custom allow woman to stay with her family one

You have to be very very strong and be able to tolerate her nonsense. I used to be very direct blunt with my words. My family is not as trouble maker as them. We are the 'what you see is what you get' sort. But ever since I met his mother, I'm becoming as sly as her and I can wayang very well too. Hehe!

Good luck!

Remember not to complain everything about your MIL to your hubby. He wouldn't like it and it may affect your relationship. I feel that MILs just deliberately do things to anger us so that we will quarrel with our hubby. Yes, I told my hubby that to. So I've to remain very strong and polite with her. So that she doesn't climb over me and neither will I offend her. Just maintain that distance.

I used to complain every single thing abt that witch to my hubby. And we fight a lot because of her, which is not worth it. I still complain to him these days but selected ones, and how you bring it up to him is also important.
Pick your war to fight and not fight every war.

yeah even now we also quarrel abt his mum. Ugh sorry but shes so annoying