'SEASONED' SAHMs

[jal]

I left my job when I was preggie and always wanted to go back work force.. Now baby 2 mths, I am hesitating whether to go back work esp when economy like this now... no one take care of my baby too...

Housewife was never a thought before till now.... but losing financial independency I cannot imagine....

sigh.... so fan..... maybe wait till baby 1 your old then go back if financially allow me to do so.....

How stay at home mum stay hip and not become yellow face wife - I worry I become that and cannot communicate well with my hubby in future if i become stay at home mum. becoz I feel my face little yellow already

Hmmm... I dont have any kids yet but I want to become a housewife. Heh heh...

 

[shespice]

I'm in my late 30s and a SAHM. I quit 5 years ago - can't believe the time has gone by.

I find the biggest issue is dealing with your own personal fulfilment. It's great being a SAHM but finding external avenues of satisfaction which I once gained from work has been really difficult to find. I love the excitement, stress, challenge of working; which motherhood or a hobby just can't satisfy.

I envisage that I will return to work in about 1 - 2 years time. I don't worry about my abilities as I do believe the skills I acquired during my career are still in me, only just being utilised in a different way. My age when I return can be viewed both negatively and positively. Youth can be an asset but it can never replace the maturity, experience and knowledge I have gained. Those who deem me too old are obviously not the right company for me.

For you my biggest concern would relate to the current global economic situation. Many companies are suffering so if you elect to quit, you may not have many opportunities to return if you change your mind.

thanks for sharing, yeah still torn with decision so will give some more time to think. would it be a little late to quit when baby is around 1 year old?

 

[Lotus]

thanks for sharing, yeah still torn with decision so will give some more time to think. would it be a little late to quit when baby is around 1 year old?

There's no correct time. The best time is the time that suits your family.

A friend went back to work when her son was 6 months and then quit again when he was 5 years old. Her company offered anything she wanted, work from home part time, car spot in building, flexible hours in office but in the end she said it just wasnt worth it. She's in her early 40s and definitely does not regret her decision. She spent about 1 year thinking about it; the usual issues of money, career, time lost with son etc.

 

[shespice]

thank you Lotus . will think and start planning....(ie utilising balance of leaves) etc. maybe easier not to think too much and just pack and go LOL.

 

[EnFlor]

Read earlier entries. I do share some of the sentiments here about missing out certain things once out of workforce eg: financial independence, job challenges, interaction with peers at work, etc.

Been officially a SAHM, months b4 i gave birth to No. 3, that was early 2006. Initial stage of SAHM - Good, Great, Splendid. But sometimes the routined tasks bore me. My only perks now are the fun stuff i get to do with my kids. Other than that, doing things around the hse can be pretty cumbersome and uninteresting - for me. I have friends who said, "Invested so much in your education and now you are at home 24/7." Such remarks can be hurtful sometimes. But my main coping strategy in order to enjoy my current role is to tell myself, - The joy to see my kids everyday and to be there for them all day is priceless.

I may join the workforce once my kids are more independent. At least, if i were to engage a maid or a nanny in future, i can worry lesser coz my kids would be able to speak up for themselves in the presence of the helper. In the meantime, i take up some courses and do freelance for some small projects frm home to occupy myself and to touch base with job-related matters.

I guess the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence huh! Who knows, next time when i get back to work, i would yearn to get into the role of SAHM mum again.....haiz, dilemma never ends!

 

[loonshi]

Guess what? I actually quitted my job to be a SAHM because my son not bonded to me. As in he wants my mil more than me. Ever since after my confinement, he's with my mil. I have never really take good care of him. My hb n i also nv bring him hm often. We r a wkend parents until past few months i got retrenched but i manage to find a job but while working in my heart i keep thinkin of my son.

So currently I'm looking after him and at the same time doing some freelance job.

 

[lollipopglory]

im a SAHM for the past 10 years. when my girl turns 4, i quit my job to look after her. as i cant trust my MIL!! But Im started to feel bored nowsaday. My girl grown up and Im so sian staying at home...But still prefer to be A SAHM rather to go out to work again.hehehe. Try to find more friends, tats y im joining this site. but i find that alots of mummy here hving babies instead of teenage. :shyxxx:

 

[loonshi]

im a SAHM for the past 10 years. when my girl turns 4, i quit my job to look after her. as i cant trust my MIL!! But Im started to feel bored nowsaday. My girl grown up and Im so sian staying at home...But still prefer to be A SAHM rather to go out to work again.hehehe. Try to find more friends, tats y im joining this site. but i find that alots of mummy here hving babies instead of teenage. :shyxxx:

I guess the reason why this forum has more mummies with babies then teenage is because normally they will be too busy with housework and children studies especially now they are teenagers. There are many things to look into.

 

[lollipopglory]

I guess the reason why this forum has more mummies with babies then teenage is because normally they will be too busy with housework and children studies especially now they are teenagers. There are many things to look into.

Hving a teenage at home, dun really need much work to quote their study. they spend most of their times in sch rather at home. As for hsework, teenage dun dirty or run abt at hm like a young kid. Yound childrens need their mummy much more than a teenage. As for hsework, tat is not tat busy as wat u think. Im 34, my surrounding frens whos same age as me are mummies wif young childrens, they r so busy everyday. But for me, too much free time now..

 

[kuan]

Try to find more friends, tats y im joining this site. but i find that alots of mummy here hving babies instead of teenage. :shyxxx:

hi, exactly my sentiments. i was thinking of looking another forum for SAHM with teens. can only surf this forum and relate my past experience loh.....ancing_biggrin:

 

[instantoats]

wow, i really hand it to moms who manage kids and house w/o any maids. i've always wanted to do that, but i don't think i can cope. how do you plan your time? who takes care of baby while you do the housework?

i work part-time, and have a maid to help. even then things seem so disorganised!!!

and regarding money, i work out a budget with hubby so that i get a little pocket money every month. i can save or spend, up to me. i think it's impt that SAHMs 'get paid' as well, no matter how large or small the sum is.

 

[mackin]

hello, i am not a stay at home mum but now still considering whether to be or not.:tconfused:i have a baby gal, now coming to 5 months and she's with nanny. each day as i hand her over to nanny i get this feeling that i wish i do not have to do that and everyday after work, can't wait to get her back. have friends who suggest that i quit work and just spend time with baby coz they grow fast and soon i would be missing out on her growing years. have been working all my life so not sure if can adapt to not working now although i enjoy every moment with baby. also another consideration is that if i stop work now, i likely may not be able to get back to work again coz i am a "matured" mom .
meantime....still thinking.........
any suggestion or advice?
thanks so much.

Now she's 5 mths old and there are lots more for you to see, esp during their first 3 yrs. I'm a SAHM since 06, till today, I've not regretted giving up my job to take care of my boy. His growing up, all the cute little moves, smiles and from babbling to talking (esp when he started to speak his first word), from crawling to sitting up to walking and running......they are all in my head. Everytime when I think of that......melt my heart.
Maybe you should weigh between ur job and her growing up, which is more impt to you....then you can decide from there.
My hubby always tell me....money can't compare to the growing up of our son as his is priceless.
Hope this might be able to help you:001_302:

 

[carin04]

There's no correct time. The best time is the time that suits your family.

A friend went back to work when her son was 6 months and then quit again when he was 5 years old. Her company offered anything she wanted, work from home part time, car spot in building, flexible hours in office but in the end she said it just wasnt worth it. She's in her early 40s and definitely does not regret her decision. She spent about 1 year thinking about it; the usual issues of money, career, time lost with son etc.

Yes, there is no correct time. It took me 1 year to made up my mind to become SAHM, and put a stop to pushing my gal to childcare & student care. I am 2 weeks into being SAHM.ancing_wub:

The most important is to have hubby's support.

 

[Domique]

Shespice..... you still working?

thank you Lotus . will think and start planning....(ie utilising balance of leaves) etc. maybe easier not to think too much and just pack and go LOL.

 

[taffilya]

wow! read all the earlier entries, now I'm wondering what and how am I going to handle things when I become a SAHM comes year end.

Does anyone know of a get-together sessions for SAHMs? Like perhaps just to do activities with the kids together with other mummies and kids?

Alot of those meet-ups are done by the expats here in S'pore, from what I have gathered. I think local SAHMs shld have such gatherings too, just to keep our sanity, heheh. But seriously it is also to help us share issues with like-minded SAHMs. I'm sure friendships can be build along the way too :tsmile: :tsmile:

 

[snowbear]

wow! read all the earlier entries, now I'm wondering what and how am I going to handle things when I become a stay at home mum comes year end.

Does anyone know of a get-together sessions for SAHMs? Like perhaps just to do activities with the kids together with other mummies and kids?

Alot of those meet-ups are done by the expats here in S'pore, from what I have gathered. I think local SAHMs shld have such gatherings too, just to keep our sanity, heheh. But seriously it is also to help us share issues with like-minded SAHMs. I'm sure friendships can be build along the way too :tsmile: :tsmile:

Hihi, yes, we do have our own meetup sessions with people we happen to get along with in this forum.

 

[candy_ian]

yes i think when we find khakis that we can get along well we do meet-up. in fact i've been meeting up with domique..

 

[zazaziya@gmail.com]

I have been a stay home mum for about 3 months now, and honestly this is the best time of my life. It is definitely less stressful than when I was working, coz I used to travel 10 days a month and was constantly hung up over preparations to fly and meetings, and did not have time to see my kids much. Housework does feel mundane and boring, but I try to spice that up by going out with friends or going to gym while my kids are at school..Best thing is kids love me to be at home. I know one thing for sure, I will miss being a sahm once i get back to work again. Hubby has always wanted me to be at home with the kids, and he does help out with housework like washing dishes and mopping floor...i guess i am lucky to have him and the 2 adorable kids and the chance to be a sahm

 

[jasobias]

I have been stay home mum for almost 8 yrs!!!wah piang..thts a long time!!hahhaha.
we shld arrange a gathering ah..shld be fun..!!

 

[klearad]

SAHMs will have ups and downs, just like working life. Happen that our duties are 24/7, without much break. I look forward to weekends when my hubby can bring me OUT of the house!

I try to 'connect' to the world via keeping in touch with my ex colleagues and friends through MSN, Skype and Facebook. And now, reading and writing on Mummysg.forum. Tried to organise friends gathering at least once a month. I find talking to adults important, else constant kids language and kids talk drives me a little crazy at times.

At times, I feel im confined in my house... so I will try to get out of home and escape to mum's place or to library or to shopping mall with my bb. Conversations with hubby has been mainly on our baby, but we will try to talk on other topics.