Seeking some opinions from fellow forummers...

daddy70

New Member
Just wanted to seek some of your opinions...

Here's a couple of requests that my wife has been making over the past five months since the birth of my baby girl. Although some of these has been highlighted before in the past, she has suddenly become very vocal about it because of my daughter.

  • After my daughter has bathed, the in-laws must bathe first before they are allowed to touch the baby; especially after the in-laws have gone out and just arrived home.
  • Baby bottles must not be washed in our bathroom sink because the sink is a place used for brushing teeth, spitting, etc.
  • When mother-in-law is frying food, the (newly installed) kitchen door must be closed to prevent oil from floating into the hall and drifting to baby's room.
  • Wife doesn't like my pet cat... and absolutely hates the smell of the cat poo. Hence, I must clean the cat litter tray everyday (no problem there for me)... but, then there is this - wife doesn't like to go to the hall, and practically avoids the chairs there. Later found out that it is the cat hair she is absolutely dreadful of.
  • Wife does not like to walk in the hall unless she has her slippers on... she says she doesn't like the dirty feeling on her legs (probably because of her fear of cat hair and also because of the dirty feeling of the floor) - we tend to mop the house once a month, but her family mops (as far as I know) at least twice a week.
  • Clothes must also be taken down from kitchen and babies clothes must be hung on her own bamboo poles.
When talking about all these points with her, she will constantly get defensive and say it is her standard of cleanliness in her family and that my family is more dirty by nature.

What do you think?
 
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angelababi

Member
Just wanted to seek some of your opinions...

Here's a couple of requests that my wife has been making over the past five months since the birth of my baby girl. Although some of these has been highlighted before in the past, she has suddenly become very vocal about it because of my daughter.

  • After my daughter has bathed, the in-laws must bathe first before they are allowed to touch the baby; especially after the in-laws have gone out and just arrived home.
  • Baby bottles must not be washed in our bathroom sink because the sink is a place used for brushing teeth, spitting, etc.
  • When mother-in-law is frying food, the (newly installed) kitchen door must be closed to prevent oil from floating into the hall and drifting to baby's room.
  • Wife doesn't like my pet cat... and absolutely hates the smell of the cat poo. Hence, I must clean the cat litter tray everyday (no problem there for me)... but, then there is this - wife doesn't like to go to the hall, and practically avoids the chairs there. Later found out that it is the cat hair she is absolutely dreadful of.
  • Wife does not like to walk in the hall unless she has her slippers on... she says she doesn't like the dirty feeling on her legs (probably because of her fear of cat hair and also because of the dirty feeling of the floor) - we tend to mop the house once a month, but her family mops (as far as I know) at least twice a week.
  • Clothes must also be taken down from kitchen and babies clothes must be hung on her own bamboo poles.
When talking about all these points with her, she will constantly get defensive and say it is her standard of cleanliness in her family and that my family is more dirty by nature.

What do you think?
oh dear .. is she just give birth not long ago and is a first time mummy ?? Is she a stay home mummy or a full time working mummy ?? hmm have a good talk with her , prevent from pointing out those points like very direct into pointing at her .. try a good chat on it instead .. moreover we as wife married to hubby family we had just started to adapt hubby family environment and habits etc..., not easy also ... as we all comes from different growing up environment .Moreover woman is more detailed than man n like hygiene, if yr wife is that type very particular about cleanliness n likes to do things in a systematic manner, then I guess you got no choice but try to learn n adapt to her style. :) as for the hygiene i think she probably is worried about your baby may get any allegic / illness if environment is too messy too.. Help her more in clean up ! She will appreciate the concern you given ,one day !! For the cat i think only you can try to make sure it is clean and smell free haha .. maybe she never kept a pet befor / dont like a pet at all person ...and so not use to it (your cat) , Dont worries , have a good communicate with her again !! Remember to KEEP a clear head. No one can talk rationally if one is angry/ too emotion. Try not to argue . Good luck :)
 
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daddy70

New Member
oh dear .. is she just give birth not long ago and is a first time mummy ??
Oh yes, she is a first time mummy.

Is she a stay home mummy or a full time working mummy ??
Full time working mummy... I am temporarily a stay home daddy until I find another job. We send our daughter to a child care.

hmm have a good talk with her ... as we all comes from different growing up environment .
I fully agree... and we have had many talks... some unhappy...

Are her actions concerning hygiene normal? Or is it some other root concern that I should be aware of? She was raised up in a family where they prefer cleanliness... and they don't own pets.

as for the hygiene i think she probably is worried about your baby may get any allegic / illness if environment is too messy too.. Help her more in clean up !
I try my best to help her clean up... but most often I am the only one since my parents don't want to upset her when it comes to the baby... so it's mostly me helping out.

maybe she never kept a pet befor / dont like a pet at all person ...and so not use to it (your cat) ,
You're spot on.

Thanks.
 
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angelababi

Member
hmm for her actions concern about the hygenie , i cant said normal or adnormal , as i dont know her only you know her pattern , but for me im also a person who like cleanliness , due to my growing up environment , as i usually mop my floor 3x a week ... so i find the standard of cleanliness is acceptable to me :) since you mention she is a first time mummy , i think she is probably worried about the baby may get any allegic / illness if environment is too messy ,so be patient with her cos she is adjusting to mummyhood .
 
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daddy70

New Member
jie pi = abnormal fear of or distaste for uncleanliness or contamination , in english, we call it Mysophobia.
I have discussed this topic before with her, but she says that what she is doing is normal. After all, her family does this at her house... here's roughly what happens at her home:

1. The mother will mop the floor rather frequently. I can't comment on how frequent because I have never lived at her place before... I only go back to visit her family every weekend (lasting from a few minutes to a few hours). I assume her mother does this at least twice a week; it could be more frequent. I understand that my wife is the more helpful in the family (with two other siblings, and my wife is the middle child), and in the past I have seen her with calluses (hard skin growth) on her hand. I attribute it all to either helping her mother mop or squeezing dry the clothes. I don't think they like the feeling of (what my wife calls) "that oily / dirty / sticky feeling" of the floor.

2. Their family will tend to do the laundry by hand very frequently (I think it is daily).

3. I understand that her mother will close their kitchen door whenever she is cooking. I agreed to install a kitchen door at my home for my wife's sake.

4. They never own large pets before, at most the very most - fishes in a small aquarium... the kind of animal that is not furry or leave behind poo on the floor.

My wife also at one point wanted to wash the standing clothes hanger (the one bought from Ikea) daily before hanging the baby's clothes. She even washes the small multi-clothes pin hangers for fear of dirt or something... I have managed to dissuade her and got her to wash it once a week. Do you mummies wash your clothes hangers / multi-clothes pin hangers at all?

Are all these actions on her part = mysophobic? She always denies that she is, and just that her family is like that... everytime we talk about it, we end up quarreling, and she adamantly refuses to accept it, or will just stubbornly blurt out that she can't take my pressuring her any longer, and that she wants to commit suicide.

How can I help her?
 
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Gem2505

Member
MY replies in bold and underlined below~~~

Here's a couple of requests that my wife has been making over the past five months since the birth of my baby girl. Although some of these has been highlighted before in the past, she has suddenly become very vocal about it because of my daughter.

she behaves this way only after delivery of your girl? what about the days before that?

  • After my daughter has bathed, the in-laws must bathe first before they are allowed to touch the baby; especially after the in-laws have gone out and just arrived home.

    Bathe is alil too over. I think, washing of hands,feet and face befor handling baby would be good. when we are out, we are exposed to germs and dirt. its our home common practice to wash hands/feets/face once we reach home, before doing anything.
  • Baby bottles must not be washed in our bathroom sink because the sink is a place used for brushing teeth, spitting, etc.

    hmm.. this one still quite normal. washing of items should be done at kitchen sink instead of toilet. like, we dont wash plates and bowls inside our toilets too. more like a "habit".
  • When mother-in-law is frying food, the (newly installed) kitchen door must be closed to prevent oil from floating into the hall and drifting to baby's room.
of coz have to close. not only preventing the oil and smoke to baby room, but also the living room etc. the smell can be really strong and stain the bedrooms. the kitchen door was installed for this prevention.

  • Wife doesn't like my pet cat... and absolutely hates the smell of the cat poo. Hence, I must clean the cat litter tray everyday (no problem there for me)... but, then there is this - wife doesn't like to go to the hall, and practically avoids the chairs there. Later found out that it is the cat hair she is absolutely dreadful of.

    i think this is also quite normal. more like personal dislikes. some will mind, some dont.
  • Wife does not like to walk in the hall unless she has her slippers on... she says she doesn't like the dirty feeling on her legs (probably because of her fear of cat hair and also because of the dirty feeling of the floor) - we tend to mop the house once a month, but her family mops (as far as I know) at least twice a week.

    having a slipper on is also ok bah. althou i dont do that, but when back to my mum place, everyone have to wear a slipper on. i myself think its really quite dirty to have all the dirt sticking onto our feet and then we bring all those dirt up to the sofa/bed or everywhere we walk..
    I sweep the floor everyday and mop the floor every alternate day. my mum, sweep the floor once a day and mop the floor twice A day. I find that its a good practice to LOVE being CLEAN. we wont want our place to be dirty esp when there's a baby at home. its not that we have to disinfect germs like everyday. but at least, keep up a good standard of cleanliness is very important. have a good habit of keeping things clean and tidy is nothing abnormal. let your girl know the "standards", so in future, she will learn from it and adapt to this "good habit".
  • Clothes must also be taken down from kitchen and babies clothes must be hung on her own bamboo poles.

    I washed all the clothes everyday or alternate day. the next day, i will keep all the clothes down and keep into the wardrobe. but why HER OWN bamboo poles? why there's a seggregation on this?
When talking about all these points with her, she will constantly get defensive and say it is her standard of cleanliness in her family and that my family is more dirty by nature.

I think this is the different in "habit". her preference on standard of cleanliness and yours is diff, therefore, there's arguements. just give in since she has no bad intention and also for the good sake of everyone.

What do you think?

I felt the level of cleanliness is still acceptable. not really till the extreme. she's not that extreme. I feel, adapting a good habit in keeping things away, arranging things at home in a proper manner, cleaning the shelves/fan,etc frequently, changing the bedsheet weekly, changing the towel every alternate day, everything you can do to keep up the house, is a MUST do. This way, your girl will learn from you all and adapt this good habit. she wont anyhow throw her toys everywhere, draw on the wall, make the place dirty,etc.
 
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daddy70

New Member
hmm for her actions concern about the hygenie , i cant said normal or adnormal , but for me im also a person who like cleanliness , due to my growing up environment , as i usually mop my floor 3x a week ... :)
I fully understand the need if you desire to mop the floor three times a week. But I love my wife, and would prefer that she not tire herself after coming home from a hard day at work. My wife should not slave herself so just for her need to keep things clean... she should spend more time with our daughter, and also learn to relax - watch TV, surf the net, etc... That is one of the the ultimate messages I am trying to get across to her.

Yes, we have spoken many times before and I hypothesized with her that she is mysophobic (see my post just above this one). I feel she does not have an extreme case of mysophobia, perhaps a minor one.

Anyway, the most my wife does is mop / clean my daughter's room.

In the end, my mother and I will help out by mopping the rest of the 5 room flat. More frequently though for my wife's sake... maybe once every two to three weeks.
 

cn211279

New Member
I don't think your wife is being too extreme. I remember when my son was first born, I was quite particular about cleanliness as well. During the first 6-8 months, I vacuumed and mopped the floor everyday, and used dettol to wipe his cot/toys and things which he will come into contact every week...
My rationale is that a newborn baby has very low immune system and hence should be kept in a clean environment as much as possible so he don't get so much allergies/illness. I can't control other environments but I definitely have control over my own house... But I relaxed as my son grows up as he would have build up a certain level of immunity and I'm no longer as concerned.
 

daddy70

New Member
she behaves this way only after delivery of your girl? what about the days before that?
She has been behaving like that before, but she keep mum to herself mostly concerning cleanliness. She is probably bitter about not being able to live in a house that is up to her standards and as always wanted to move out.

Bathe is alil too over. I think, washing of hands,feet and face befor handling baby would be good. when we are out, we are exposed to germs and dirt. its our home common practice to wash hands/feets/face once we reach home, before doing anything.
I agree... but what can I say when she says her mother would bathe before she touches the baby at her house? (Background info - My wife would usually spend the weekend at her home with my daughter... the minute she reaches either home, she will immediately go for a bathe, then bathe baby. My wife don't like the feeling of sweat on her clothes and body after going out shopping, and MUST bathe... there have been exceptions of course, but it is rare - like when we come home late from the hospital because my daughter was sick, or something).

hmm.. this one still quite normal. washing of items should be done at kitchen sink instead of toilet. like, we dont wash plates and bowls inside our toilets too. more like a "habit".
She won't wash the baby bottles in the kitchen sink because it is meant for washing dishes... so she uses a huge metal mug to carry the baby bottles. She fills the metal mug full of water and washes the bottles from there. The metal mug fits snugly in the toilet sink. At no time are the baby bottles taken out and placed on the sink.

of coz have to close. not only preventing the oil and smoke to baby room, but also the living room etc. the smell can be really strong and stain the bedrooms. the kitchen door was installed for this prevention.
As I agreed with her, and I decided to install the kitchen door for her. My mother will now close the door whenever she is frying any food.

having a slipper on is also ok bah. althou i dont do that, but when back to my mum place, everyone have to wear a slipper on. i myself think its really quite dirty to have all the dirt sticking onto our feet and then we bring all those dirt up to the sofa/bed or everywhere we walk..
Again, I emphathise with her on that and do my best to mop our home. I even got an Ikea sofa for the living room where we can change the covers, so that we can wash away the "cat's hair".

I sweep the floor everyday and mop the floor every alternate day. my mum, sweep the floor once a day and mop the floor twice A day. I find that its a good practice to LOVE being CLEAN. we wont want our place to be dirty esp when there's a baby at home. its not that we have to disinfect germs like everyday. but at least, keep up a good standard of cleanliness is very important. have a good habit of keeping things clean and tidy is nothing abnormal. let your girl know the "standards", so in future, she will learn from it and adapt to this "good habit".
Yes, these are good habits... but you must know the limits. That is the point I want to get across to my daughter. Don't ever let cleanliness take over your life.

I washed all the clothes everyday or alternate day. the next day, i will keep all the clothes down and keep into the wardrobe. but why HER OWN bamboo poles? why there's a seggregation on this?
There is a segregation because baby's bamboo poles cannot be placed in the kitchen. This is because frying of food takes place there... also I have no choice but to put the cat litter tray there... but I clear the cat litter tray out every day. She is afraid her bamboo poles get contaminated with oil or germs from the cat litter.

I think this is the different in "habit". her preference on standard of cleanliness and yours is diff, therefore, there's arguements. just give in since she has no bad intention and also for the good sake of everyone.
True, she has no bad intention at all. But I am trying to get through to her that she should spend more time with her husband and her daughter, then just focus solely on taking so much time doing her chores. She doesn't trust anyone (except myself) to help her in our home.


I felt the level of cleanliness is still acceptable. not really till the extreme. she's not that extreme. I feel, adapting a good habit in keeping things away, arranging things at home in a proper manner, cleaning the shelves/fan,etc frequently, changing the bedsheet weekly, changing the towel every alternate day, everything you can do to keep up the house, is a MUST do. This way, your girl will learn from you all and adapt this good habit. she wont anyhow throw her toys everywhere, draw on the wall, make the place dirty,etc.
Trust me, the level of cleanliness is acceptable. In my parents and my eyes, we find it totally acceptable. We do our best to accommodate to her feelings about some of this and help out where we can.

And, I want to inculcate something in my daughter too... There are values of cleanliness one must uphold, but never for the sake of letting cleanliness or the fear of germs take over your life... that is how I feel about it.

Thanks.
 
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daddy70

New Member
I don't think your wife is being too extreme. I remember when my son was first born, I was quite particular about cleanliness as well. During the first 6-8 months, I vacuumed and mopped the floor everyday, and used dettol to wipe his cot/toys and things which he will come into contact every week...
My rationale is that a newborn baby has very low immune system and hence should be kept in a clean environment as much as possible so he don't get so much allergies/illness. I can't control other environments but I definitely have control over my own house... But I relaxed as my son grows up as he would have build up a certain level of immunity and I'm no longer as concerned.
Good for you, and I am glad you managed it. I find my wife taking too much time with her chores... I only care for her and want her to take it easy, don't do things so frequently... learn to relax, don't repeatedly wash some things, or keep on folding clothes in neat little stacks in the cupboard, or freak out whenever there are ants crawling all over the baby's room, or turn around to check if she locked the door (at least once or twice) before going out.

I think my wife's a perfectionist in that sense. And, it's all this little things that add up that is driving me crazy... is she mysophobic... or am I the nut case here? Is there a word for a person who is on the more dirty side - which she accuses me of being...

By the way, my daughter is five months old (exactly) today.

Other than talking with her, what should I do? Is there a support group here where she can confide her problems with friends. In my opinions, she hasn't been socializing much recently.
 
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angelababi

Member
daddy70 , hey are you still ok ...?? i understand what you mean and how you feel .. i find this hygeine issue both couple need to give and take .. take things slowly and easy first .. cause as your baby is still small and she first time mummy as your wife is still ajusting her life to motherhood . Just do what you can help for her , show her your very best let her know you are helping too ,your concern she will know . You must try to relax yourself (all this little things that add up that is driving me crazy) too :)
For socializ i dont think she has much time as normaly mummy will mainly forcus on baby at this period of time as your baby still 5 mths ...
 
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vion

Member
Hmmm...I tink I'm one from the "dirty side" lol. Ur wife sounds very extreme to me lor...hehe

When my gals were younger, I was a SAHM den. I'm more of a lazy mother. I'm more concerned with the necessities (bathing, feeding n washing of whatever to do with babies tat u die die muz do kind). Maybe cos my gals were only 14 mths apart n I'm the sort who prefer getting out of the house (cos staying with in-laws) thus I spent more time outside den at home. When I'm home, I only make sure I hv everything I need in the room (water, bottles, milk powder etc). Other den tat, I try to catch as much rest as I can.

I only sweep n mop our room once a week (on the weekend when dh is home to help with the gals). I do everything in the room. I washes the bottles in the toilet n make milk in the room.

Of cos I'll do the laundry every day cos of bb's clothes but they were hang in the kitchen, if not, where else?

I may not be clean but I wouldn't agree if I'm labelled as dirty. Sometimes, extreme cleanliness make one vulnerable to the germs u can nv run away fr everywhere n anywhere.
 

xiaodaisy

Active Member
personally , i feel its quite normal as she might be scare that baby would fall sick so she wants everything to be clean

''After my daughter has bathed, the in-laws must bathe first before they are allowed to touch the baby; especially after the in-laws have gone out and just arrived home.''

if in laws come back fm work , i also will make them bath before touching the baby , if just like buying a dinner back , i will still make sure they wash their hands before playing with the baby , as outside have germs and ur wife may be worried that it may cause baby to be sick

''Baby bottles must not be washed in our bathroom sink because the sink is a place used for brushing teeth, spitting, etc.''

guess most of the people will do the same thing =) she just wanna keep bottle clean for the baby

''When mother-in-law is frying food, the (newly installed) kitchen door must be closed to prevent oil from floating into the hall and drifting to baby's room.''

true , if not the oil will be everywhere making the floor sticky feeling like tat and the air in the house will be smoky like tat , my mom close the kitchen door + all the doors in our house and keep the clothes before she cook , if the clothes not dry , she will hang it out .. =)

''Wife doesn't like my pet cat... and absolutely hates the smell of the cat poo. Hence, I must clean the cat litter tray everyday (no problem there for me)... but, then there is this - wife doesn't like to go to the hall, and practically avoids the chairs there. Later found out that it is the cat hair she is absolutely dreadful of.''

did she have fear on animals? esp furry types? she might have a phobia on it but since she compromise with u , she didnt want u to get rid of the cat bcos of her? therefore she choose to stay in the room ?

''Wife does not like to walk in the hall unless she has her slippers on... she says she doesn't like the dirty feeling on her legs (probably because of her fear of cat hair and also because of the dirty feeling of the floor) - we tend to mop the house once a month, but her family mops (as far as I know) at least twice a week.''

it good for the health too actually as the floor is cold , after birth esp during confinement some elders will wan us wear tat too to prevent our foot fm swollen etc etc .. my cousins who is like 5 or 6 also wear ard their house everyday .. =)

''Clothes must also be taken down from kitchen and babies clothes must be hung on her own bamboo poles.''

i guess since she felt mentally she's more cleaner den ur in laws , she might feel babies clothes hung on her own poles will be better least lower the risk of getting sick ba

''Do you mummies wash your clothes hangers / multi-clothes pin hangers at all?''

clothes hangers which is often used wont have dust ard them so i wont wash , however if store too long esp those plastic types they will store dust and i will wash before i use them again , for multi-clothes pin hangers , if leave in kitchen or too long outside will have some dust collected , so i will wash it also but not daily .. just wenever i see dust start to collect .. =)

i guess she dont have much time to socialize as her focus is mainly on the baby now , give her sometime , maybe when the baby get bigger with a better immune system , she might not be so firm in all her decisions =)
 

Gem2505

Member
hmm.. since u are at home at the moment, maybe you just try to help out as much as possible before your wife gets back home. try to accomodate her and let her know that sometimes its good to let the place be a LITTLE dirty ( to build bb immune system ). but of coz cannot too dirty la, bb will end up sick very often.
try ur best and show ur wife, u're helping her and understand her. from there, maybe she will soften alil and let u handle some of the house chores.. this would let her rest more and have more time for u n bb since all the house chores are done up before she's back =D
 

blackpiggy

Member
Hi daddy70, about the slippers in the hall thingy, my husband is exactly the same as your wife. I think she really doesn't like the dirt on her feet feeling, which is the same reason my husband gave.

My reasoning with him against that is that since baby is crawling around on the floor it doesn't really make sense to wear your 'dirty' slippers around yet keeping your feet clean and 'dirtying' the floor unless baby is also wearing slippers and not crawling. So I make an effort to mop the floor almost every other day.

Also, in her defense cat hair is really quite dangerous to baby (and preggy women) esp. if baby are allergic prone. So at least she's not unreasonable and considerate to you, she didn't ask you to get rid of the cat but made herself to stay in room. I mean if I were her I don't wanna be cope up in the room everyday.

I agree your wife is a bit over paranoid on the cleanliness part but as a first time mother, there's sure to be a particular 'thing' she minds. I'm also a first time mother, and I will shower with water everytime I'm sweaty esp. before I breastfeed or carry my baby. This means like 4, 5 times a day, my husband says I'm crazy and wasting water, but I just don't like the baby to get sticky when touching me or drink my sweat when I feed him. So maybe you just give in to her a little :) No harm in a little cleanliness. cheers.
 

Amulet

Active Member
Just wanted to seek some of your opinions...

Here's a couple of requests that my wife has been making over the past five months since the birth of my baby girl. Although some of these has been highlighted before in the past, she has suddenly become very vocal about it because of my daughter.


  • After my daughter has bathed, the in-laws must bathe first before they are allowed to touch the baby; especially after the in-laws have gone out and just arrived home.
  • Baby bottles must not be washed in our bathroom sink because the sink is a place used for brushing teeth, spitting, etc.
  • When mother-in-law is frying food, the (newly installed) kitchen door must be closed to prevent oil from floating into the hall and drifting to baby's room.
  • Wife doesn't like my pet cat... and absolutely hates the smell of the cat poo. Hence, I must clean the cat litter tray everyday (no problem there for me)... but, then there is this - wife doesn't like to go to the hall, and practically avoids the chairs there. Later found out that it is the cat hair she is absolutely dreadful of.
  • Wife does not like to walk in the hall unless she has her slippers on... she says she doesn't like the dirty feeling on her legs (probably because of her fear of cat hair and also because of the dirty feeling of the floor) - we tend to mop the house once a month, but her family mops (as far as I know) at least twice a week.
  • Clothes must also be taken down from kitchen and babies clothes must be hung on her own bamboo poles.

When talking about all these points with her, she will constantly get defensive and say it is her standard of cleanliness in her family and that my family is more dirty by nature.

What do you think?
1. hmm.. for me, it's not a must unless that person smoked.. thn he/she need to shower and change clothes + brush teeth before he/she can touch baby..
2. bathroom sink so small, got place to put those detergents and stands to dry the milk bottles? i feel that it's better to keep it in the kitchen..
3. i agree with her.. this kind of oily smoke wen stick to other places' walls/ furnitures, very difficult to clean off and will make things yellowish and sticky on the long run..
5. ur house mop once a month?? my mom would definitely faint.. her family mop twice a week also quite little.. my family mop and vacuum at least once daily.. if i'm her, i also cannot tahan the dirt on the floor..

generally i think ur family is less particular about cleanliness than hers..
 

daddy70

New Member
Thanks to all your valuable replies. I will take them all into consideration.

Trust me, it's a matter of love here - we have a new life in our hands, no doubt... but I still feel she should not upset a familial balance. After all, she is still living with me and my parents for now. Some things in life is give and take, and my wife has given some in return (after all the clashes she has agreed that hangers should only be washed at the end of the week).

I understand that I should also give, and give I shall in return.

I will learn to lighten up... and because I am very transparent, I will show her your great replies from this thread. You have all equally been, in one way or another, great friends to us.

Thank you!
 
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