single/ divorced mummies' r/s

pink_daisy

Member
hi all,

do u let ur child noe abt ur bf or tat he/she is gg to hv a stepfather in the near future? n how does ur child address ur bf? 'uncle'? if married liao,address as wat? does ur child get along well w ur bf?

being a single or divorced mum is not easy..so when u found someone u love, do u still dare to commit coz afterall, the marriage (for divorced mummies) failed... the r/s (for single mummies) didnt work out well...

tx for sharing...
 
hi all,

do you let your child know about your bf or that he/she is gg to have a stepfather in the near future? n how does your child address your bf? 'uncle'? if married ,address as what? does your child get along well w your bf?

being a single or divorced mum is not easy..so when you found someone you love, do you still dare to commit coz afterall, the marriage (for divorced mummies) failed... the r/s (for single mummies) didnt work out well...

tx for sharing...
if i have a new bf i will try to explain to my son.. and i will ask him to address as uncle ba.. cos i feel that daddy only ex husband.. cannot ask him to call other man as daddy.. unless your kid feel comfortable then let him address whichever the kid feel gd lor..
ppl say 1 fail marriage doesn't mean another marriage might not work.. for me i think i will not commit into marriage ba..
 
ya same...scare ...dont want to have a 2nd failed marriage...
i also scare.. cos my mum say maybe 1 marriage fail the other won't work well also.. so i scare..
and i scare kid cannot get along.. or the man dun like my kid or dun accept him leh.. alot of issue to think of leh..
 

pink_daisy

Member
ya..i oso scare later the man's side..don noe wat they tink...
married one gal, get one small one oso...scare ppl say tis say tat... although man can say don mind, just let ppl say but in a way, we still r abit affected
 
ya..i also scare later the man's side..dont know what they tink...
married one gal, get one small one also...scare ppl say tis say that... although man can say dont mind, just let ppl say but in a way, we still r abit affected
ya i worried that the man family won't like de lor.. and the man might mouth say ok but in the heart still not his kid leh.. i feel still not same de..
and if other ppl say this and that surely will affect the r/s de.. cos if we as a mother/wife mind it sure will quarrel de.. haiz..
 

pink_daisy

Member
ya..but i tink u still must tink for urself..coz one day ur child will grow up n hv his own life...i oso tink it tis way...one day, my children will grow up, no need me to b by their side..they oso might not wan me by their side then..so really, if a nice guy comes along, must tink carefully... although the child's father cannot give us happiness n perhaps left a deep scar on us, we still must b strong ok..
 
ya..but i tink you still must tink for yourself..coz one day your child will grow up n have his own life...i also tink it tis way...one day, my children will grow up, no need me to b by their side..they also might not want me by their side then..so really, if a nice guy comes along, must tink carefully... although the child's father cannot give us happiness n perhaps left a deep scar on us, we still must b strong ok..
ya i agree with u.. but wat if the man we thought is gd de after marriage same again de lor.. alot of issue to worried leh.. at times i also dun know wat i want to do..
 

Ting

Well-Known Member
my daughter calls my bf ( or soon to be husb) daddy. well, in my case, she doesnt know of her bio dad existance n hv been calling my bf daddy since day 1. so its just as it is now.
his family accepts n loves pin as their own family so i hv no issues n worries over it.
my bf loves pin as his own n treats her very well.
guess im the lucky few.
maybe its my character that past r/s dont hv much effects on me, n i get over them very fast. n i know my current bf is the one for me( and pin) so yeah..i just treat it as another serious r/s but one that would go far n perhaps the last one that i will hv. :)
 

hpc

Member
Hi single/divorced mums,its not easy to be single mum,but then when come to 2nd marriage,must let child have gd relations with ur bf and ready to accept him as daddy.Then bring child to bf parent"s house to interact with them.If ur children are grown up teenagers then have to explain to them.Its gd to find another bf,otherwise the xx might think on one will want u or still waiting 4 him to u-turn(bad guy).JIA U JIA U BEST OF LUCK:Dancing_wub::Dancing_wub:
 

Elicia

Member
Hi,

i just officially divorce but seperated from my exhubby about 1 year ago.

Cannot denied that being a single mum mentally and physically is stressful, physically stress is bcos we have to work and take care of the kids ourselves after we have knock off from work and mentally stress will be oso coming from kids as when they keep pestering u and so on, another will becos we are still sad about the broken marriage/exhubby who has done unfaithful things to us. etc.

Anyway, like my son, he was 5yrs old last year and is already half know what's going on with us, he had gone thru unbalance feelings too, crying and saying why cant he stay happily with daddy n mummy. I was feeling very sad too n cried, but wat to do? Its not wat i want too. The most angry part was my dad keep telling them that their daddy having affair outside n he dun wan them! I keep explaining to my son and my ger who just turn 3 this year, about what exactly happen to their daddy n mummy. slowly they are happily accepted.

Having to find another man who can totally accept your situation and kids is not easy too. Even if you have found one, You have to face what his parents say about you, or maybe your kids. Congrats if you have found one that everyone can accept you, i did not say there isnt any, THERE IS! But it dun happen to every divorce mums.

Now I have a commited bf, he is 6yrs younger than me, (but thinking is matured) good career start, he can accept my everything and i know he do loves me more than i do. But i have to face his parents objections. Especially his mum. But lucky he told me that he dun care so everything will go accordingly to our plans. But I'v told him that we only invite very close frens to our ROM and not having any wedding dinner. Of cos i do have phobia and less confidence, but i know he is better than my ex hubby in terms of thinking and career etc. My ex hubby dotes on me even now, its a long story y we came to this divorce decision...

Anyway As for what my kids r/s with him, he told me he prefer them to call him gor gor or his name. Cos he feel odd calling him daddy. Anyway I dun mind, 21 century already, even my kdis call me jie jie i will oso response to them lol! But of cos in their mind they must know that u r still their elder and need to respect u. Now my kids call him his name instead of gor gor but they do sometimes.

Lastly dun feel so bad about a broken marriage, although i know its hard to go thru. stand up again and look for another one who can accept u. But still most importantly is your children. ^^
 
Last edited:
Top