Amulet
Active Member
i dun wan him to see her that's why i didnt file for the maintenance.. i only got those sms that i type out in computer.. the original ones are gone coz my HP uplorry.. *faint*
single mums!
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sherylicious
Member
Hi every1!!
Long time nv come in here le...
Me and dd's daddy is still nt divorced yet. But in the midst..
I left him cos i cannot stand his lie anymore..
I admit it was my fault tt i wanted a abortion in the 1st place..
He made me keep her..
But he onli noe how to tok, duno action..
He nv ever gave me a single cent b4..
On the contrary, I give him money even when I was preg..
Later on, he went to jail for bike theft (as some of u noe)..
I can nv ever forgive him for saying "I steal bikes so tt i can sell and give u money to eat"
Since the day i noe him, I knew tt he is some1 who onli noe how to get into trouble, and expect the whole world to help him clear his shit. If no1 does, he will push the blame to some1 else.. In tis case, me...
Oh well,
I m far beta without him..
Long time nv come in here le...
Me and dd's daddy is still nt divorced yet. But in the midst..
I left him cos i cannot stand his lie anymore..
I admit it was my fault tt i wanted a abortion in the 1st place..
He made me keep her..
But he onli noe how to tok, duno action..
He nv ever gave me a single cent b4..
On the contrary, I give him money even when I was preg..
Later on, he went to jail for bike theft (as some of u noe)..
I can nv ever forgive him for saying "I steal bikes so tt i can sell and give u money to eat"
Since the day i noe him, I knew tt he is some1 who onli noe how to get into trouble, and expect the whole world to help him clear his shit. If no1 does, he will push the blame to some1 else.. In tis case, me...
Oh well,
I m far beta without him..
I'm not a single mum but my good frens are single mums.
if ur baby not born yet, DUN PUT FATHER'S NAME IN BC! if they ask, jus say dunno who is the father.
if ur baby's BC already has his name and u dun wan him to hv anything to do with u or baby, ask him to declare tt he give up his legal rights to the child (like disowning ur child). best done when on bad terms cos it'll mean tt there's more 'resentment' to motivate him to sign it.
it's best not to refuse rights to visitation cos he can use tt to argue in court tt u r unreasonable. it's better tt u agree on a fixed schedule, then take note how often he turns up. most of the time they wont turn up on time everytime or they'll miss when they got something on. then it'll be 'evidence' tt he is not committed to the child, nvr make use of the regular visitations arranged.
if he offer $$, dun take if possible. once u take, he'll claim 'i did contribute to my kid'.
all of u r very brave to stand on ur own.
if ur baby not born yet, DUN PUT FATHER'S NAME IN BC! if they ask, jus say dunno who is the father.
if ur baby's BC already has his name and u dun wan him to hv anything to do with u or baby, ask him to declare tt he give up his legal rights to the child (like disowning ur child). best done when on bad terms cos it'll mean tt there's more 'resentment' to motivate him to sign it.
it's best not to refuse rights to visitation cos he can use tt to argue in court tt u r unreasonable. it's better tt u agree on a fixed schedule, then take note how often he turns up. most of the time they wont turn up on time everytime or they'll miss when they got something on. then it'll be 'evidence' tt he is not committed to the child, nvr make use of the regular visitations arranged.
if he offer $$, dun take if possible. once u take, he'll claim 'i did contribute to my kid'.
all of u r very brave to stand on ur own.
apollo
Well-Known Member
i feel lik cursing him!!!!!! he treated ur dd as an object??? make his dad happy?? den one fine day if his dad not happy how??? throw ur dd away??? brainless man!!!
Amulet
Active Member
thats what i thought too.. and i got a feeling that if thats the case, he will only be good to her infront of his dad.. kns..
but such ironic, he hates his mom coz she almost dumped him whn he was a baby coz fortune teller tells her he will jinx her life.. its his dad who insist on keeping him, and arranged for him to live with his dad's friend who became his foster parents.. thus he love his dad so much.. and now, he is doing the same(if not, worst) thing back to his own daughter..
apollo
Well-Known Member
i think he somehow inherited his mother... so hard hearted towards their own flesh blood! *disgusted*
pprincesslynn
Member
i recently met a sch fren on the street.
she gave birth at 17 and never married the daughter's dad
but instead she stayed at his side hoping that 1 day the dad will b matured and then she will marry the boy
but for 3yrs it didnt happen, instead bcoming worst
hence she decide to leave him tog wif the girl.
the bf's name is in the BC lar.
6months - abt 1yr later the family came knocking on the door claiming that dey wan custody of the child.
they fought for abt 1yr and she lost the case
lost as in, she wanted to draw a clear line between them
but accordin to her, her lawyer told her that now the law have changed
they would want both parents to haf 50-50 custody of the child
so nobody will get sole custody
the daughter now sometimes stay at his house, sometimes at her house
but hardly follow her home as her daughter is closer to the grandma and so always staying at the dad's hse
jus FYI, that if the name alreadi in BC
the chances of hafing sole custody is veri hard
and i tink if DNA comes in and prove that this guy (whose name is not in the BC as the dad) is the father of the child
may also get 50% of custody
i jus feel sad for my fren bcos the bf's side have never ever offer to help her
never spent a cent and make her slog her life for the child and her life
yet did this to her.
she gave birth at 17 and never married the daughter's dad
but instead she stayed at his side hoping that 1 day the dad will b matured and then she will marry the boy
but for 3yrs it didnt happen, instead bcoming worst
hence she decide to leave him tog wif the girl.
the bf's name is in the BC lar.
6months - abt 1yr later the family came knocking on the door claiming that dey wan custody of the child.
they fought for abt 1yr and she lost the case
lost as in, she wanted to draw a clear line between them
but accordin to her, her lawyer told her that now the law have changed
they would want both parents to haf 50-50 custody of the child
so nobody will get sole custody
the daughter now sometimes stay at his house, sometimes at her house
but hardly follow her home as her daughter is closer to the grandma and so always staying at the dad's hse
jus FYI, that if the name alreadi in BC
the chances of hafing sole custody is veri hard
and i tink if DNA comes in and prove that this guy (whose name is not in the BC as the dad) is the father of the child
may also get 50% of custody
i jus feel sad for my fren bcos the bf's side have never ever offer to help her
never spent a cent and make her slog her life for the child and her life
yet did this to her.
Amulet
Active Member
yes, nowadays most parents will get shared custody.. but in most case, if the child is very young and especially if the child is a girl, the care and control rights will go to the mother.. meaning to say, the child will stay with mummy but sees daddy on weekends or wat..
but howcome ur friend's case, her DD will end up being closer to her bf's mother than her liao leh?
My fren recently divorced and got sole custody of her son without visitation rights and they r applying for the father to not hv any legal rights to the child. main reason is that she has evidence that her ex is irresponsible:
1. he disappeared without informing anyone for 6mths (evidence from passport cos he went to china, letter of termination due to failure to report to work from his employers, army's warning letter for not reporting for reservist)
2. did not contribute to family finances (evidence from reciept of payment made from my fren's accts)
3. he ever sent her an sms saying tt he dun wan the kid anymore (evidence from the actual SMS saved in the phone)
4. witness statements of family and frens on the way he treats the child (many incidents where he is not able to meet the everyday needs of the child like feeding him, cleaning him up, etc)
1. he disappeared without informing anyone for 6mths (evidence from passport cos he went to china, letter of termination due to failure to report to work from his employers, army's warning letter for not reporting for reservist)
2. did not contribute to family finances (evidence from reciept of payment made from my fren's accts)
3. he ever sent her an sms saying tt he dun wan the kid anymore (evidence from the actual SMS saved in the phone)
4. witness statements of family and frens on the way he treats the child (many incidents where he is not able to meet the everyday needs of the child like feeding him, cleaning him up, etc)
SunShine07
Member
Hmmm. i guess it is all about evidence...
pprincesslynn
Member
but i guess it's a bit hard to find evidence
i mean, sometimes u thought can tolerate, he will repent
but end up it doesn
anwiae for my friend case
her bf did not work to provde the daughter for as long as the daughter lives
even till nw
and my fren haf to work morning till night so hardly spend time wif the daughter
so the daughter is closer to the grandma as grandma is taking of her
while the dad, do nothin, treat her as maid, plae computer, sleep enjoy goin gout and throwing the daughter at her.
but she lost the case jus bcos she dun haf hard evidence to show the bf doesn care enuff
instead the bf side uses her blog as evidence in court on certain stuff
that is wad she told me.
i mean, sometimes u thought can tolerate, he will repent
but end up it doesn
anwiae for my friend case
her bf did not work to provde the daughter for as long as the daughter lives
even till nw
and my fren haf to work morning till night so hardly spend time wif the daughter
so the daughter is closer to the grandma as grandma is taking of her
while the dad, do nothin, treat her as maid, plae computer, sleep enjoy goin gout and throwing the daughter at her.
but she lost the case jus bcos she dun haf hard evidence to show the bf doesn care enuff
instead the bf side uses her blog as evidence in court on certain stuff
that is wad she told me.
Amulet
Active Member
huh? so they living together? doesnt the bf have to pay any child maintenance to her? can put the baby in childcare instead of letting the grandma take care, and make the man pay half of it ma..
pprincesslynn
Member
last time dey stay tog, when dey are still a couple
but abt 1yr ago she had enuff and move out
dey never wanted her to marry the guy and keep dragging
keep sae wait for him mature wait for him mature
but onli bcome worst, he dont want complete his study, dont want work, dont want go NS >.<
this kind of guy also have
now the daughter is with the guy side and heard that he guy just started working
but still doesn care much about the daughter
he even got himself a new gf and doesn spend time wif the daughter
alwaes throwing the daughter to the grandma to look after
dey dont want to put the child in childcare bcos if can save money
the grandma confirm want and dont want to put the daughter in childcare
heard that after the daughter go back to the father side
her studies bcome worst
imagine 4yrs old girl doesn even know hw to count from 1-10 doesn know a-z
but abt 1yr ago she had enuff and move out
dey never wanted her to marry the guy and keep dragging
keep sae wait for him mature wait for him mature
but onli bcome worst, he dont want complete his study, dont want work, dont want go NS >.<
this kind of guy also have
now the daughter is with the guy side and heard that he guy just started working
but still doesn care much about the daughter
he even got himself a new gf and doesn spend time wif the daughter
alwaes throwing the daughter to the grandma to look after
dey dont want to put the child in childcare bcos if can save money
the grandma confirm want and dont want to put the daughter in childcare
heard that after the daughter go back to the father side
her studies bcome worst
imagine 4yrs old girl doesn even know hw to count from 1-10 doesn know a-z
Amulet
Active Member
i dont know why is your friend letting her ex's mom having the decisions over her own daughter..
jmho, she should grip the situation and gain control of her and her daughter's life .. dont leave the decision to the grandma.. if she have to be put in childcare, she HAVE to be put into childcare.. try to get evidence of her ex's negligence of her daughter, present if to family, at the same time do things to prove that she is at the position to care for her daughter..
if things carry on this way, i believe the future of this little girl, everyone also can guess ..
pprincesslynn
Member
anwiae nw dey are alreadi seperate and the court haf let the child stay with the father side
so she have nothin more that she can do
she does not have ani evidence of the ex neglecting the child
in fact, she mentioned that the court knew that her ex have a some violent past or somethin
but still put the child with the ex family
and even want my fren to bring the child to MCYS every month or so and pay them 100bucks for nuts
not sure why. and not sure why this decision is made by the court.
she didnt put the daughter in childcare previously bcos she's the onli 1 earning money
and she doesn haf enuff to put in the childcare.
the ex jus doesn care nor does their family willing to pae ani money for the daughter.
so she have nothin more that she can do
she does not have ani evidence of the ex neglecting the child
in fact, she mentioned that the court knew that her ex have a some violent past or somethin
but still put the child with the ex family
and even want my fren to bring the child to MCYS every month or so and pay them 100bucks for nuts
not sure why. and not sure why this decision is made by the court.
she didnt put the daughter in childcare previously bcos she's the onli 1 earning money
and she doesn haf enuff to put in the childcare.
the ex jus doesn care nor does their family willing to pae ani money for the daughter.