single parent support group

SunShine07

Member
Hi little rabbit

thanks for sharing :)
my husband's leaving me for another woman
i find it very hard to accept even though i know it's partially my fault as i'm very bad tempered, possesive & conntrolling..
plus we've a very poor sex life after my #1
but the best thing's my husband's insist that i "pushed" him to other woman
this other woman even knows that i just gave birth & our marriage is on the rocks...& that i insist on not divorcing
she even got the cheek to tell my husband she'll go through it with him, give him her full support!
he did it on purpose for me to find out so that he can date this woman openly!

i only have one friend to share with & she quite "fierce" with me..
kept telling me that i must help myself to walk out of it
no one can help me & i must know what i want

i dont dare tell my mom cuz my family's very conservative

basically i've no one to turn to except my one & only friend & the forum..
& i'm tied down to look after my kids as no one is helping me
but i'll be starting work soon, hopefully that'll help
but sometimes i really feel like dont do anything & lock myself up
or to go out & have a breather
i'm very stressed out

one part of me want to save this marriage even though what he did (not the 1st time too, & each time he puts the blame on me but he never insist on divorce till this time) as i dont want my kids to grow up in a broken family
the other part tells me to F**K it..i can survive without him
which in actual fact was what i'd been doing as he's seldom in sg
even when he's around, he would be on the internet all day not bother to help
& can even say look after baby's very easy
but when i got fed up & told him to look after baby as i want to go out
he gave me the stunt look

sigh all these affecting my breast milk's ss
i really dont know which road should i take...

*Hugz* know how u feel when ur hb betrayed you. It a terrible feeling especially when u are fully devoted to him.

like Ting said, gather all evidences just like what i am also doing it now......u will never know what will happen during the process of divorcing. I really realised that man are really ugly when comes to money issue! I regret never do it earlier.

love, be brave to face it ok, i know it is hard, don't lock yourself up. Last time, i was so scare to let my friends or parents know also because of 'my pride' i dun like ppl to know that i am so 'ke lian' but now, i don't care already. and when u have ur family support, it is easier to go thru this path. you also have to consider your kids, if no one support you, your kids may suffer cos u would be too stressed up to care for your kids.:err:


You know my hb everyday give me problem, and i really can't think n work well. It's really everyday give me trouble!:nah: Keep harrassing me and ppl around me. give me a lot of his shit! SIGH!

if you need someone to talk to you can look for me. u dun need a fierce friend to tell you what u should do, but someone who can share the same thought as you do.

u may MSN me at cj_0817@hotmail.com if you need to talk to me 9am-6pm all weekdays :)


Take care,
Janet:shyxxx:
 

love

New Member
Thanks so much Ting & SunShine07

ur words made me felt so much better.. :)
right now i'm trying to get more information on how to "SUCK" him dry & get custody of the kids

hmmm...so gathering evidences can definitely put me in a better situation to fight this battle huh?
i'm intending to hire a PI..anyone got recommendations? GOOD, EFFICIENT, EFFECTIVE & not so expensive if possible
as i'd not been working since preggie
how to get sms evidence?

he's "CAT" about his $$$ all the time!
even when i not working he also expect me to share expenses as he knows i'd some savings...

don't think i'm going to let my family know about all these for the time being..
for fear that my plans would be ruined! keke...
 

jassmine

Member
Hi i am not a single parent but i will like to help those needed single parent, if u need any help do let me know.. will try my best to help whatever i can.. cheers!

Go strong for single mother!
 

SunShine07

Member
Thanks so much Ting & SunShine07

your words made me felt so much better.. :)
right now i'm trying to get more information on how to "SUCK" him dry & get custody of the kids

hmmm...so gathering evidences can definitely put me in a better situation to fight this battle huh?
i'm intending to hire a PI..anyone got recommendations? GOOD, EFFICIENT, EFFECTIVE & not so expensive if possible
as i'd not been working since preggie
how to get sms evidence?

he's "CAT" about his $$$ all the time!

even when i not working he also expect me to share expenses as he knows i'd some savings...

dont't think i'm going to let my family know about all these for the time being..
for fear that my plans would be ruined! keke...
Haha, same here, he is super 'cat' about $$$ i not working also suck me loh. Irresponsible bastard! Now we are fighting for $$$

hmmm......not sure about PI, but i hear quite expensive.for i didn't get any cos i have all his sms and email, msn kept. Do you have them?
 

shi_san_yee

New Member
is your mum very conservative type??
may i ask why you n your ex cmi??
i think, if its just bcos your relationship dont work out, n not bcos he is a lousy guy/father, then i see no problem in letting him see your child?
just my POV, its like in cases of divorce parents, both parent still get to see, interact n provide (financially n emotionally) to the child.
i find that it is fair for your child n your ex.

for my ex, he really CMI.
he's lazy, doesnt wanna work,only wanna play com games, watch tv, sleep.
i think his dad spoil him too much (maybe bcos his parents divorced since he was young, thus his dad spoil him to make it up to him), til he is just very useless..

looking back i asked myself, WHY did i even fall for such a person???
n i dont deny, i was young n stupid n couldnt open my eyes big enuf to see.
but mistake done, n now, i finally sought a new life for me n pin ever since we left him. :)


enuf said on me, hehe. i think its hard for your mum to understand how you feel, bcos, she's not in this situation. she doesnt feel threatened, cos #1, your child is not born yet n they havent start "possessing" your child. #2, though this is her grandchild, but still not her child.
perhaps your mum still dont understand why you wanna do this? try to have a heart to heart talk to her n let her understand more on how you feel...


:wong19::wong19::wong19:
we were dating for about 3 mths when i got preg, so it seemed natural to get married. Then during the wedding planning, we were not happy already, keep fighting, so i concluded it's dumb to get married to (1) save family's face, (2) for the baby, especially with the way we could not even work out little things. He has a hot temper and I'm not too tolerant of that either. So we went for counselling and concluded it was best to call off the wedding indefinitely. I was married before and didn;t want this to be a mistake. One mistake made, so I'd live with it,(and I'm glad I did, my son is my life now). So when we broke up, I updated him about bb that time when I was pregnant, he told me only to let him know if something serious happens (eg, miscarriage), so of course I saw no need to inform him of anything else from then on. Basically, to him it's either he and I get married, and live with baby, or no wedding = nothing to do with each other. That's what i meant by CMI lor.

my mum's the traditional conservative kind who gave me so much shit during my preg days, keep condemning me, make me feel like i'm so irresponsible to want to have this child on my own, and how i am a disgrace to her. all this while, my ex bf did not contact me, which also means he did not offer to support me, or even help out in my finances, but he did suggest that i go abort, since we not getting married. now bb is out already, and mum loves bb to bits, but her attitude towards me, still as before. till today, she still feels its my ex bf's god-given right to see the baby. (when he didn't care for bb at all during my pregnancy)
 

love

New Member
Haha, same here, he is super 'cat' about $$$ i not working also suck me loh. Irresponsible bastard! Now we are fighting for $$$

hmmm......not sure about PI, but i hear quite expensive.for i didn't get any cos i have all his sms and email, msn kept. Do you have them?

i check with u arh...how long u'd been fighting?
he's holding on to his hp like a gem
& he got a different email & msn that he's keeping from me
 
i check with you ...how long you'd been fighting?
he's holding on to his hp like a gem
& he got a different email & msn that he's keeping from me
Hi love.. dun worry.. i dont have many close friends too, if u dont mind yah, we can be friends :) i think this period must be quite hard and tough for you and your children. I think if u are unclear whether u want to leave him or not, perhaps u can ask urself some qns. deep in your heart what do u really want?
Will u be happy with him? do u have any future together? will your children be happy if u stick with him? is he willing to change and makes effort to get back with you? will he leave the other party?

If u want to get money from ex, my advise is samme like the other mummies. get evidence and be super thick skin and ask $$ from him. for me, i heck care abt my 'face' liao.. more importantly is I get $$ for my bebe so that he can have a good life. have to be practical lah coz child exp is quite high. Plus i feel that the guy has to be responsible for what he has done. i wont let him off so easily. my ex think he can Fxxx around then pat pat backside walk out & throw bebe to me.
 

SunShine07

Member
i check with you ...how long you'd been fighting?
he's holding on to his hp like a gem
& he got a different email & msn that he's keeping from me
how long we have been fighting? all the while we have been and only recently he did somthing real terrible and i start to look for lawyers and so on.....

when we were together, i suspect that he got affair. then usually it is when he is asleep, then i peek his hp. he denied, but after that he admit it to me when that woman broke off with him.

i got evidence cos i know both of their friends.......they are very supporttive to me now if i ask them to tesfy they will be my witness loh.

but my case is mostly more on physically abuse, verbal abuse type......

we chat a lot on msn previously and always quarrel, and i always bring up that affair matter and that's why i save the conversations.:tlaugh:

i very cunning loh, cos i scare to lose the custody of my son....i can lose everything, but not my son.

now he is fighting with me on the HDB which is making a lot of money now.......jerk!!!
 

love

New Member
Hi little rabbit
of course i don't mind having more friends :)

i'm planning on leaving him plus i'm also not letting him have his way.."Best of Both Worlds"
he thinks that he can just leave like that? he's too naive lor...
i won't want to help him save a single cent if he can have affairs like changing clothes

i just found out he'd been introducing this lover to my #1!!!
i was so fuming mad & my blood boils like no tomorrow!
but i still gotta swallow it first if i want to win a beautiful battle...
he even got the cheek to bring this lover back to our marital home when i not around!

man are such selfish BAST**DS!!!
think they can just sh*t liao wipe their butts & walk off like nobody's biz..??
& wait for us "Maria" to clean the sh*t for them!?
well, they think too highly of themselves lo!

i like to check with mommies here any other method to get hold of his calls, sms, etc?


Thanks




Hi love.. dont worry.. i dont have many close friends too, if you dont mind yah, we can be friends :) i think this period must be quite hard and tough for you and your children. I think if you are unclear whether you want to leave him or not, perhaps you can ask yourself some qns. deep in your heart what do you really want?
Will you be happy with him? do you have any future together? will your children be happy if you stick with him? is he willing to change and makes effort to get back with you? will he leave the other party?

If you want to get money from ex, my advise is samme like the other mummies. get evidence and be super thick skin and ask $$ from him. for me, i heck care about my 'face' .. more importantly is I get $$ for my bebe so that he can have a good life. have to be practical coz child exp is quite high. Plus i feel that the guy has to be responsible for what he has done. i wont let him off so easily. my ex think he can Fxxx around then pat pat backside walk out & throw bebe to me.
 
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love

New Member
ya we oso had been fighting like forever especially about $$$!
actually i meant how long has ur divorce proceeding been on?
can share the outcome of the HDB pls?
since u got so much evidence!

wah u oso very clever to save all the conversations!
i didn't do that cuz we seldom msn..
he claims he dun like to type, prefer video chat

but he seems like typing non stop on his hp now lo
& he dun even mind!
man are so fickle miinded!
can change at a snap of the fingers...

seems like everything's on ur side :)
that's very good!
should be a win-win situation! :red:




how long we have been fighting? all the while we have been and only recently he did somthing real terrible and i start to look for lawyers and so on.....

when we were together, i suspect that he got affair. then usually it is when he is asleep, then i peek his hp. he denied, but after that he admit it to me when that woman broke off with him.

i got evidence cos i know both of their friends.......they are very supporttive to me now if i ask them to tesfy they will be my witness loh.

but my case is mostly more on physically abuse, verbal abuse type......

we chat a lot on msn previously and always quarrel, and i always bring up that affair matter and that's why i save the conversations.:tlaugh:

i very cunning loh, cos i scare to lose the custody of my son....i can lose everything, but not my son.

now he is fighting with me on the HDB which is making a lot of money now.......jerk!!!
 

SunShine07

Member
ya we also had been fighting like forever especially about $$$!
actually i meant how long has your divorce proceeding been on?
can share the outcome of the HDB pls?
since you got so much evidence!

wah you also very clever to save all the conversations!
i didn't do that cuz we seldom msn..
he claims he dont like to type, prefer video chat

but he seems like typing non stop on his hp now
& he dont even mind!
man are so fickle miinded!
can change at a snap of the fingers...

seems like everything's on your side :)
that's very good!
should be a win-win situation! :red:
i have to be very careful....he is now trying ways to get back to me....i am like everyday cannot sleep well think well......sigh...

I used to trust him alot, and there are a lot of evidences i didn't get....

Remember, never let him know what is ur intention or what you are going to do, act as stupid as possible in front of him. In chinese, (bu yao da chao jin she):tlaugh:

I just start to get a lawyer. But due to my HDB flat, becos it hasn't reached 5 yrs yet, so it may have to be delay as i can't sell it yet..but i heard from friends that it is not necessary....i dun know, unless i buy over his share, and he must agreed to transfer his share (which i think difficult as he will ask for a lot money) or if not wait till close to 5 yrs then sell it away. But HDB also said it depends on the court order, meaning it is also depend on how the lawyer fight for you.

i think the lawyer that i am seeing is not very good.....so i am not searching for another one. I believe that if you really want to fight for what you wan, u need to find a good lawyer who is very supportive

I tell you what, u go to HDB branch office, any branch, ask the officer. they will be able to tell you more details. We have to do a lot of things and find out a lot of things on our part. Now he won't find out so much, cos he is 'dating'. I used to be very bo chap, evreything also dun know....but now i have no choice. When we know what we can get, then things get easier for us.

I believe now your concern is how are you going to support your kids in future rite? so you must get your flat, never let go and ask ur lawyer to fight for u on this, get a bigger share. i will be seeing another lawyer recommand by someone soon, if i find that he is really good i intro to u:tlaugh:

i think u dun really need evidences, because what u say must be true, and if he denied, then he will get into trouble leh.......
 

Ting

Well-Known Member
we were dating for about 3 mths when i got preg, so it seemed natural to get married. Then during the wedding planning, we were not happy already, keep fighting, so i concluded it's dumb to get married to (1) save family's face, (2) for the baby, especially with the way we could not even work out little things. He has a hot temper and I'm not too tolerant of that either. So we went for counselling and concluded it was best to call off the wedding indefinitely. I was married before and didn;t want this to be a mistake. One mistake made, so I'd live with it,(and I'm glad I did, my son is my life now). So when we broke up, I updated him about baby that time when I was pregnant, he told me only to let him know if something serious happens (eg, miscarriage), so of course I saw no need to inform him of anything else from then on. Basically, to him it's either he and I get married, and live with baby, or no wedding = nothing to do with each other. That's what i meant by CMI .

my mum's the traditional conservative kind who gave me so much shit during my preg days, keep condemning me, make me feel like i'm so irresponsible to want to have this child on my own, and how i am a disgrace to her. all this while, my ex bf did not contact me, which also means he did not offer to support me, or even help out in my finances, but he did suggest that i go abort, since we not getting married. now baby is out already, and mum loves baby to bits, but her attitude towards me, still as before. till today, she still feels its my ex bf's god-given right to see the baby. (when he didn't care for baby at all during my pregnancy)

ic, i understand what u mean somehow..
he's those type, if u be with him, he will treat u well, if u r not then he dun give a shit.
really BTH such guys.
i mean, ok, even IF he doesnt care for u, he shld care for the baby wat.
grrrrrr~feel like giving him a big kick!!!!!!!! oopsie. :p

i think your mum side, she needs to slowly open up this fact.
let me tell my story.


my parents,initially, they also wanted me to abort.
everyone wants "face", my parents r not very traditional kind, quite modern thinking, but still, they also want face, i think even we ourselves also do right?? n also they were looking into my future.

my mum even got into depression..cos of this. but ultimately, they still tell me, dun marry my ex, they know he cant provide for us, wait n see if he will change n grow up (which of cos he nvr!).
so i didnt marry, my dad was pretty keen on me gg to abort, n when i refused, he didnt speak to me much thruout my preg days, until i was gg to deliver.(i was the closest to my dad among my sisters).
well, my parents somehow still accepted, so yeah not a big issue.

my biggest problem was my elder sis.
we werent that close when we were younger, then arnd tt time i was preg, our relationship was closer.
when she found out i was preg, she even offered to give me money to abort. which i refused. my parents gv in, n she felt very angry n she created hell for me.
almost everyday, she tries to pick a fight with me, always picking on me on every small details. she even hit me, pull my hair n slapped me when we fought.
i tried very hard to stay clear her ways, bcos my mum asked me not to create more trouble for her alr since im the one at fault.
she always say very mean things to me, n even curse me n stuffs, trust me, all i swallow down.
(given my character, i would nvr take it lying down, haha u see my other posts i think u know my pattern, :p )
she even try to ask my mum to chase me out of the hse. n it doesnt help that her stupid then bf keep adding oil into the fire. (my mum suspect he has been trying to psycho my sis to chase me out or wat).
tt time he was staying at my hse (due to some reasons at his own place), for almost 1 yr plus, then he asked me, if im gg to contd to stay here, i told him YES OF COS, n he said: "wah u NOT shy ahhhh, u r gg to be a mother alr, then u still hv the cheek to stay at your mum's place."
then i shoot him back: : "u r an outsider also can stay my mum's hse for free for so long, nvr give rent or anything, why ME, my mum's daughter, carrying her grandchild shld be shy?"
wahahahahahaha~ of cos not in front of my sis lahs. :p
can u believe got such ppl!?

anyway, after pin was born, my aunt carried pin to show my sis n she refused to see her, ask my aunt to take her away...


BUT, after a few mths (maybe pin too cute???) my sis slowly soften, n kai qiao alr~
she slowly start to peek at pin, n started to play with her... n now, she loves pin so very much......
n we r much closer than b4..
in fact, pin brought everyone much closer to the heart..

i know how heartwrenching it is for someone to be close to u being so mean, n hostile to u, i've been thru that.
somehow, in my heart, i know that one reason why my sis did that was bcos she cared for me, n she doesnt want me to ruin my own future. she just doesnt know how to show it the "nice" way.
i think my sis now, she also felt bad abt how she treated me last time, so now, she's really treating pin very well.


shisanyee, there r some ppl, who cannot handle the truth well, esp when everything comes so sudden.
give them time, n things will get better.
if it doesnt, take heart that at least she still accepts your child n loves your baby dearly.
she will slowly learn to accept that this has become a fact, n the best way to deal with it is not to hang on n let go... :)


:wong19::wong19::wong19:
 

Ting

Well-Known Member
love, how old is your #1??
if old enough, might be able to be a "witness" for u.

can i suggest, how abt recording down your convo?
u can use your hp to record?? just pretend to strike a convo with him regarding his mistress?
make sure that he must say those impt things out to show that he is really hving a mistress outside.
record down n keep it, use it against him. like this, he confirm cannot deny, cos even if pictures, might not be strong enuf then he self admit.
 

SunShine07

Member
ic, i understand what you mean somehow..
he's those type, if you be with him, he will treat you well, if you r not then he dont give a shit.
really BTH such guys.
i mean, ok, even IF he doesnt care for you, he shld care for the baby what.
grrrrrr~feel like giving him a big kick!!!!!!!! oopsie. :p

i think your mum side, she needs to slowly open up this fact.
let me tell my story.


my parents,initially, they also wanted me to abort.
everyone wants "face", my parents r not very traditional kind, quite modern thinking, but still, they also want face, i think even we ourselves also do right?? n also they were looking into my future.

my mum even got into depression..cos of this. but ultimately, they still tell me, dont marry my ex, they know he cant provide for us, wait n see if he will change n grow up (which of cos he never!).
so i didnt marry, my dad was pretty keen on me gg to abort, n when i refused, he didnt speak to me much thruout my preg days, until i was gg to deliver.(i was the closest to my dad among my sisters).
well, my parents somehow still accepted, so yeah not a big issue.

my biggest problem was my elder sis.
we werent that close when we were younger, then arnd that time i was preg, our relationship was closer.
when she found out i was preg, she even offered to give me money to abort. which i refused. my parents gv in, n she felt very angry n she created hell for me.
almost everyday, she tries to pick a fight with me, always picking on me on every small details. she even hit me, pull my hair n slapped me when we fought.
i tried very hard to stay clear her ways, bcos my mum asked me not to create more trouble for her already since im the one at fault.
she always say very mean things to me, n even curse me n stuffs, trust me, all i swallow down.
(given my character, i would never take it lying down, haha you see my other posts i think you know my pattern, :p )
she even try to ask my mum to chase me out of the house. n it doesnt help that her stupid then bf keep adding oil into the fire. (my mum suspect he has been trying to psycho my sis to chase me out or what).
that time he was staying at my house (due to some reasons at his own place), for almost 1 yr plus, then he asked me, if im gg to contd to stay here, i told him YES OF COS, n he said: "wah you NOT shy ahhhh, you r gg to be a mother already, then you still have the cheek to stay at your mum's place."
then i shoot him back: : "you r an outsider also can stay my mum's house for free for so long, never give rent or anything, why ME, my mum's daughter, carrying her grandchild shld be shy?"
wahahahahahaha~ of cos not in front of my sis lahs. :p
can you believe got such ppl!?

anyway, after pin was born, my aunt carried pin to show my sis n she refused to see her, ask my aunt to take her away...


BUT, after a few mths (maybe pin too cute???) my sis slowly soften, n kai qiao already~
she slowly start to peek at pin, n started to play with her... n now, she loves pin so very much......
n we r much closer than before..
in fact, pin brought everyone much closer to the heart..

i know how heartwrenching it is for someone to be close to you being so mean, n hostile to you, i've been thru that.
somehow, in my heart, i know that one reason why my sis did that was bcos she cared for me, n she doesnt want me to ruin my own future. she just doesnt know how to show it the "nice" way.
i think my sis now, she also felt bad about how she treated me last time, so now, she's really treating pin very well.


shisanyee, there r some ppl, who cannot handle the truth well, esp when everything comes so sudden.
give them time, n things will get better.
if it doesnt, take heart that at least she still accepts your child n loves your baby dearly.
she will slowly learn to accept that this has become a fact, n the best way to deal with it is not to hang on n let go... :)


:wong19::wong19::wong19:
I feel heartache for you......

I believe it is not easy for you both to thru all these.......

just shut your ears at this moment, i believe, like Ting said, time will heal all these.....
 

love

New Member
ya i'm acting like i dunno anything & believe everything he say...
remember u must have ample rest to fight this battle
maybe u can try do some stuff to relax?

my flat'll be 5yrs this June
my intention to sell flat but fight for all cash profits
hmmm regarding ur flat not 5yrs think i read something abt it in the Women's Charter
maybe u can do a search?

hehe...ya i do agreed with u that they're so in loved now they almost can't see anything we're doing!
& they're lazy to do anything though mouth only know how to say & expect us to do
since they're the ones who want this want that then let them do the work
we of course must also do our own work ;>
anyway, that woman sure very hardworking to get all things done for them too...so can be together "openly" lo
but still we must be very careful!

hmmmm...y u dun think i need evidences?
i think i should still have some to safe guard myself cuz he's a BIG FAT LIAR!


i have to be very careful....he is now trying ways to get back to me....i am like everyday cannot sleep well think well......sigh...

I used to trust him alot, and there are a lot of evidences i didn't get....

Remember, never let him know what is your intention or what you are going to do, act as stupid as possible in front of him. In chinese, (bu yao da chao jin she):tlaugh:

I just start to get a lawyer. But due to my HDB flat, becos it hasn't reached 5 yrs yet, so it may have to be delay as i can't sell it yet..but i heard from friends that it is not necessary....i dont know, unless i buy over his share, and he must agreed to transfer his share (which i think difficult as he will ask for a lot money) or if not wait till close to 5 yrs then sell it away. But HDB also said it depends on the court order, meaning it is also depend on how the lawyer fight for you.

i think the lawyer that i am seeing is not very good.....so i am not searching for another one. I believe that if you really want to fight for what you want, you need to find a good lawyer who is very supportive

I tell you what, you go to HDB branch office, any branch, ask the officer. they will be able to tell you more details. We have to do a lot of things and find out a lot of things on our part. Now he won't find out so much, cos he is 'dating'. I used to be very bo chap, evreything also dont know....but now i have no choice. When we know what we can get, then things get easier for us.

I believe now your concern is how are you going to support your kids in future rite? so you must get your flat, never let go and ask your lawyer to fight for you on this, get a bigger share. i will be seeing another lawyer recommand by someone soon, if i find that he is really good i intro to you:tlaugh:

i think you dont really need evidences, because what you say must be true, and if he denied, then he will get into trouble .......
 

love

New Member
my #1 is only 3 years old this year...
dun think old enuff?

hmmm..get him to tok uh?
the PI i contacted say if caught them hold hands, kiss, hugs would be good enuff leh...
tok abt this hor
they did all these in full view of my #1 lo!!!
i truly hate them to the core!

izzit an offence to give out pamphlets about their adultry in their office??



love, how old is your #1??
if old enough, might be able to be a "witness" for you.

can i suggest, how about recording down your convo?
you can use your hp to record?? just pretend to strike a convo with him regarding his mistress?
make sure that he must say those impt things out to show that he is really hving a mistress outside.
record down n keep it, use it against him. like this, he confirm cannot deny, cos even if pictures, might not be strong enuf then he self admit.
 

shi_san_yee

New Member
ic, i understand what you mean somehow..
he's those type, if you be with him, he will treat you well, if you r not then he dont give a shit.
really BTH such guys.
i mean, ok, even IF he doesnt care for you, he shld care for the baby what.
grrrrrr~feel like giving him a big kick!!!!!!!! oopsie. :p

i think your mum side, she needs to slowly open up this fact.
let me tell my story.


my parents,initially, they also wanted me to abort.
everyone wants "face", my parents r not very traditional kind, quite modern thinking, but still, they also want face, i think even we ourselves also do right?? n also they were looking into my future.

my mum even got into depression..cos of this. but ultimately, they still tell me, dont marry my ex, they know he cant provide for us, wait n see if he will change n grow up (which of cos he never!).
so i didnt marry, my dad was pretty keen on me gg to abort, n when i refused, he didnt speak to me much thruout my preg days, until i was gg to deliver.(i was the closest to my dad among my sisters).
well, my parents somehow still accepted, so yeah not a big issue.

my biggest problem was my elder sis.
we werent that close when we were younger, then arnd that time i was preg, our relationship was closer.
when she found out i was preg, she even offered to give me money to abort. which i refused. my parents gv in, n she felt very angry n she created hell for me.
almost everyday, she tries to pick a fight with me, always picking on me on every small details. she even hit me, pull my hair n slapped me when we fought.
i tried very hard to stay clear her ways, bcos my mum asked me not to create more trouble for her already since im the one at fault.
she always say very mean things to me, n even curse me n stuffs, trust me, all i swallow down.
(given my character, i would never take it lying down, haha you see my other posts i think you know my pattern, :p )
she even try to ask my mum to chase me out of the house. n it doesnt help that her stupid then bf keep adding oil into the fire. (my mum suspect he has been trying to psycho my sis to chase me out or what).
that time he was staying at my house (due to some reasons at his own place), for almost 1 yr plus, then he asked me, if im gg to contd to stay here, i told him YES OF COS, n he said: "wah you NOT shy ahhhh, you r gg to be a mother already, then you still have the cheek to stay at your mum's place."
then i shoot him back: : "you r an outsider also can stay my mum's house for free for so long, never give rent or anything, why ME, my mum's daughter, carrying her grandchild shld be shy?"
wahahahahahaha~ of cos not in front of my sis lahs. :p
can you believe got such ppl!?

anyway, after pin was born, my aunt carried pin to show my sis n she refused to see her, ask my aunt to take her away...


BUT, after a few mths (maybe pin too cute???) my sis slowly soften, n kai qiao already~
she slowly start to peek at pin, n started to play with her... n now, she loves pin so very much......
n we r much closer than before..
in fact, pin brought everyone much closer to the heart..

i know how heartwrenching it is for someone to be close to you being so mean, n hostile to you, i've been thru that.
somehow, in my heart, i know that one reason why my sis did that was bcos she cared for me, n she doesnt want me to ruin my own future. she just doesnt know how to show it the "nice" way.
i think my sis now, she also felt bad about how she treated me last time, so now, she's really treating pin very well.


shisanyee, there r some ppl, who cannot handle the truth well, esp when everything comes so sudden.
give them time, n things will get better.
if it doesnt, take heart that at least she still accepts your child n loves your baby dearly.
she will slowly learn to accept that this has become a fact, n the best way to deal with it is not to hang on n let go... :)


:wong19::wong19::wong19:
Aiyooo... i'm glad your sis has changed her stance! n her bf... hope he not there anymore! so thick-skinned also have!?
my brothers have appeared supportive during my pregnancy, but behind my back they are always asking my folks WTH i intend to do. haiz, i really hate this 'face' thing, i can imagine, looking back if because of 'face' i really go abort, i would not have this sweet bb... aiyoh i shudder at that thot.

mum just stab me with another statement, saying my previous marriage luckily i didn't have a baby, coz that hb really refused to grow up, and my ex MIL - from the pits of hell, the whole marriage - a huge lesson. So she says now i have bb, n the father is a nice guy, then i decide to be on my own n let bb suffer.. i don't know why she keeps being so verbally vicious. of coz it's better that she loves my bb rather than treat him the way she treats me la.. hehe that's a sigh of relief liao; i just don't know how long i can take it that she keeps slamming me with hurtful words, she even said it's better to marry and divorce, at least i have maintenance to support bb, AND bb has a dad. i mean every guy can be a father, but not necessarily a dad right? i can only shuttup coz it's really my mistake, but it's just impossible for me to think of myself marrying him knowing it's gonna end in divorce (again).
 

SunShine07

Member
ya i'm acting like i dont know anything & believe everything he say...
remember you must have ample rest to fight this battle
maybe you can try do some stuff to relax?

my flat'll be 5yrs this June
my intention to sell flat but fight for all cash profits
hmmm regarding your flat not 5yrs think i read something about it in the Women's Charter
maybe you can do a search?

hehe...ya i do agreed with you that they're so in loved now they almost can't see anything we're doing!
& they're lazy to do anything though mouth only know how to say & expect us to do
since they're the ones who want this want that then let them do the work
we of course must also do our own work ;>
anyway, that woman sure very hardworking to get all things done for them too...so can be together "openly"
but still we must be very careful!

hmmmm...y you dont think i need evidences?
i think i should still have some to safe guard myself cuz he's a BIG FAT LIAR!
yah, i also wan to fight for all cash profit if possible......

becos the lawyer that i am seeing said about the HDB like must follow the rules and regulations.....like evreythign also cannot, then never even bother to call or update me, i fed up i 'fire' him!

My husband swallow a lot of my money liao.....now i wan to get back all and pay for my damage that had been done to me all these years!

i better dun tallk too much here, in case he can see what i write, cos he knows i am always in this forum.........

yah, u must be careful of that woman, maybe she also want $$$ from the HDB.....u never know how ugly a person can be.....never trust anyone now, except yourself
 

love

New Member
Hi shi san yee
all mothers are the same..

i got hint to my mom i want a divorce & all she can reply was that my kids will be without a father!!
ask me close one eye as long as he comes home end of the day!!!

traditional thinking i guess...
that's y i very Pei Fu women from my mom's time
they really can go through all kinds of hardships!


Aiyooo... i'm glad your sis has changed her stance! n her bf... hope he not there anymore! so thick-skinned also have!?
my brothers have appeared supportive during my pregnancy, but behind my back they are always asking my folks WTH i intend to do. sigh, i really hate this 'face' thing, i can imagine, looking back if because of 'face' i really go abort, i would not have this sweet baby... aiyoh i shudder at that thot.

mum just stab me with another statement, saying my previous marriage luckily i didn't have a baby, coz that husband really refused to grow up, and my ex mother in law - from the pits of hell, the whole marriage - a huge lesson. So she says now i have baby, n the father is a nice guy, then i decide to be on my own n let baby suffer.. i dont't know why she keeps being so verbally vicious. of coz it's better that she loves my baby rather than treat him the way she treats me .. hehe that's a sigh of relief ; i just dont't know how long i can take it that she keeps slamming me with hurtful words, she even said it's better to marry and divorce, at least i have maintenance to support baby, AND baby has a dad. i mean every guy can be a father, but not necessarily a dad right? i can only shuttup coz it's really my mistake, but it's just impossible for me to think of myself marrying him knowing it's gonna end in divorce (again).
 
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