stay with in-laws or not?

KAmum

Member
So true..n yes im putting it on hold..if he still doesnt want to listen to me,i might consider telling him to marry his mum or other girls..hahaa..

still waiting for him to talk to his mum tho..my mum is ok with anything..bt i dono la when he will talk to her.. *roll eyes*
all the best for you babe. I'm sure it's hard for him too, to be torn between a woman he's obliged to respect, and the woman of his dreams ;) I'm sure he loves both of you v much just that he doesn't know how to express it maybe?
My boyfriend has talked to me about this before...he says it's because he doesn't want to hurt his mum, he's still so young. For my case we'll wait 3/4 years wen we're 21 then we see how HAHAHAHAHAH :p for yours, you might wanna leave him be. When he asks, he asks. If he doesn't, don't push him. But no ask = no marriage okay. Iron everything out first so you won't suffer. Be selfish. Put yourself first :p
 

KiBin

Member
KiBin..so true..hahaa
Can i be the controller instead.?
Hahaha.. i think by saying this means you have never tried being one before...

it's like having 2 person falling into the water and you have to save both but you can only save one of them...

and you get to hear both sides not so happy and you have a hard time trying to please both sides...
 
Im gg to rant..U guys know 'harem pants'?i wore that once..and she was like,'eeee wad are u wearing?'

n since im quite big-sized,my clothes will be fitting..fitting ok,NOT TIGHT-fitting..she'll comment that i look fat n shld wear loose clothings..uurghh nvrmind..
She nvr bothers 2 ask if we have plans on our off day..n she'll be making her own plans n tell us,eg,'get ready quick,we're gg wlds.'

I am super pissed-off with her at times..n he'll jux say,'my mother wad..nvrmind la..'
Hello,i have feelings too ya knw..
Pfftpfft...[/QUOTE

Goodness!! I think this is a bad sign. Seriously!
 
i think perhaps Iqa is afraid to offend her fiance and in laws ?
but he treats her like dirt. i will dump him if i were her.
—--------------

Dearest kimitsusei..
He treats me well honey..he buys me things n takes care of me well..only when it comes to this that he sucks..blearghh..
Iqa, my hubby is a mummy's boy and my mil is a scheming witch. I have no good things to say about her, not even one word.

Hubby is like your bf. Very nice and buys me things. But you have to be careful with the green eyed monster aka mil.

It took me six years of tolerance, pain , fights with hubby. It took him six years to see what sort of person his mother is. A long and painful process. But still, she is still his mother. No matter how hurtful her words or actions, he will try to find excuse, lame excuses for her. At least now, he seeks my opinion. But still she is his mother. Like it or not, I still have to see her face every weekend.

Last time he will scream at me whenever I 'talk/complain' about his mother. And i dont even rebuke her! I always stay very diplomatic with her. His mother is always the Queen even though she is a crap mother. She has never look after him when he was young. Now, she only hints for more money so that she can go gamble. This woman really has hell of a good life. My hubby has been quite independent all these while. She doesn't need to worry anything at all... Neither does she cares about him except to ask for more money.

I am still tolerating her nonsense. And no, I'm not staying with her.

I will go dig up a thread which I started months ago about what she did to me. Go read it.
 

Iqa

Member
KiBin hon..ive always been the 'aiyaa up to u laa'..hahaa...now regret liao... ^^v

Anyway..im still wondering wad comes in a guy's head if the word marriage pops out..hehee..and i heard 95%(or so) guys change when they're married..clarify pls.. :)
 

Cindykexin

New Member
No matter what, do not stay with in law... If u really love your husband and u want to maintain the relationship.
Don't put your hubby into difficulty position,as both are his loves one... He will burst if he is too stressful.

But need to visit them offen or bring hem out for dinner:) after all is still your in laws:).
 
KiBin hon..ive always been the 'aiyaa up to u laa'..hahaa...now regret liao... ^^v

Anyway..im still wondering wad comes in a guy's head if the word marriage pops out..hehee..and i heard 95%(or so) guys change when they're married..clarify pls.. :)
Iqa, mine didn't change until this incident when his scheming mother sold her house (which was 7mins drive away from ours) without telling her only son. And she bought a place directly opposite our house. It was a long story anyway.

After this incident, he found out how sly his mother was. They drifted apart, no longer as close as the past where his mother will gossip or brainwash him in the room. He listens but he knows how to differentiate her nonsense.

But she is still his mother. I still have to see her ever weekend, spend birthdays with her, listening to her beating around the bush, etc.

Imagine if this incident didn't happen, my hubby will still be fooled by how Saint his mother was.

No, a mummy's boy will never change unless something happens.
 
So true..n yes im putting it on hold..if he still doesnt want to listen to me,i might consider telling him to marry his mum or other girls..hahaa..

still waiting for him to talk to his mum tho..my mum is ok with anything..bt i dono la when he will talk to her.. *roll eyes*
At this point, you are not married so you still can be firm. Once you are married, your life belongs to her. Once you have kids, it also belong to her. She is not going to change because she is your senior and your hubby overly adores her. So it's either you tolerant her nonsense for as long as she lives or you walk out of your marriage.

Glad that you are putting it on hold. Let him think hard.
 

Iqa

Member
A new flat is totally out of the qn..the hse dat he's staying now is under mum n his name..once we get married,his mum will change his name to first owner..

Like most hubbies,some DIL tend to get stuck in the middle..she cnt possibly tell straight in2 hubby's face n say,'eh ur mother very bad.'
Im the type of person who tells him straight,'eh i dnt like this or that.'

there was once,we r gg to jb..he wants to bring his mum along.the promise was,its only d 2 of us gg shopping..i stood my ground n firmly said,'No.U prooomised its only us.'he gave in.

The thing is that,im afraid he'll chnge after marriage..like now he listens to me,later to his mum..Even nw he listens mostly to her..
 

Iqa

Member
I forget to add a situation a month ago..

His working 12hrs shifts..so we mit only once a week..fair enough..so there's this week,his off was on a sunday..i woke up at 8am & waited for him to wake up at 11am..nvrmind..So he got ready n all..at 12.30pm i asked him,'are u out yet?' he replied,'soon ok'..Then he text me,'want to go woodlands?'i said no,n i knew,it was his mum's idea..

HIM: mum want to go wlds.
ME: no!hello u promised to mit me ok!I waited from 8am for u.atlast ure telling me ure gg out wif ur mother..
HIM: bt she wants to shengshiong..
ME: other days also can go wad.! Ok fine!5pm under my block!
HIM: cannot..after dat she wants to go cemetery..
ME: wth!!! Ppl go there morning nt evening..crazy uh?!?
HIM: bt she wants to go wad..
ME: i waited 1 stupid week to mit u & nw have to wait another stupid week..stupid..
HIM: sorry..im very sorry.sorry(idk hw many times)
ME: u knw wad?go la.go follow ur beloved mother for all i care.better still,stay at d cemetery..

God..i was super pissed off..ive already made plans for the day lor..n even got my clothes ready..
 

Iqa

Member
Kimitsusei..then where shld i stay?even my parents hse got no space..LoL..
N he surely dowan to buy a new hse lorr..
Another rant..sorry guys,2 much to rant :)

All his nephews & nieces' name starts wif letter M..u knw wad he said?'Later our child name first letter M ok.'errr...must meh..?

Me: i dnt want to be the same! My bby,i choose.i dnt want M FULLSTOP.'
Boy that felt good..hehee..bt of course la he made faces..i have a feeling tho,that his mum will want to choose my bby's name..and its a strictly dream-on-ok...
 

Iqa

Member
He is clever u know..if im angry..he will either make faces n shut up or give me the saddest puppy look..bahahha..so no point in threatening him..
 

Iqa

Member
Family outing wif them is so not fun..the mum gets tired easily n wants to go home early..bla bla...
 
I forget to add a situation a month ago..

His working 12hrs shifts..so we mit only once a week..fair enough..so there's this week,his off was on a sunday..i woke up at 8am & waited for him to wake up at 11am..nvrmind..So he got ready n all..at 12.30pm i asked him,'are u out yet?' he replied,'soon ok'..Then he text me,'want to go woodlands?'i said no,n i knew,it was his mum's idea..

HIM: mum want to go wlds.
ME: no!hello u promised to mit me ok!I waited from 8am for u.atlast ure telling me ure gg out wif ur mother..
HIM: bt she wants to shengshiong..
ME: other days also can go wad.! Ok fine!5pm under my block!
HIM: cannot..after dat she wants to go cemetery..
ME: wth!!! Ppl go there morning nt evening..crazy uh?!?
HIM: bt she wants to go wad..
ME: i waited 1 stupid week to mit u & nw have to wait another stupid week..stupid..
HIM: sorry..im very sorry.sorry(idk hw many times)
ME: u knw wad?go la.go follow ur beloved mother for all i care.better still,stay at d cemetery..

God..i was super pissed off..ive already made plans for the day lor..n even got my clothes ready..
You can behave like this now. But you cannot behave like this when she becomes your MIL.
 

Iqa

Member
Well i hope she treats me well lor..
Darlings..check out my other rant..i think d title is Pinoys in d house..LoL..
 
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