This is me & my life

ger-mummy

Member
We together since 2002. 1st abortion 2004 & 2nd abortion at 2005.

We ROM on 25th Dec 2005. Customary on 2008. Have my dd on May 2009. & Now we are on sour side.

Before the customary, he scare I cant preggy tried his best to get me preggy without asking if I want. (at that time I just started my CAT course, & I even told him I want to finish my course to get the CAT cert to have better future prospect)

During my preggy, most of the time I go alone for routine check-up & pay myself. He will wait for me to sleep & sneak out to have drink with him friend. (He thot I dunno but actually I know he went out). Before I bb was borned, he lost his job due to hot temper. I help him search online for job help him sent resumes. Skip.... Skip.... dd is 4 month old alr, we both get a job. & ...... CNY is coming, he was MC for the whole month of Feb. When 1st day of March was he resume work after the long MC. But he was unable to wake up due to have too much beer the night before. A week later, he was sacked because of his temper again.

Soon, dd 1st birthday is coming & I pay for all the buffet & everything for the celebration. When I ask for him advice, he just said "anything lah". (2 full month din work & i pay for the expenses. Help him find job sent resumes again)

He finally get a job after dd birthday & work till now. He earning power is high.

2010, July he suspect I have an affair with my new colleague. My new colleague just lobang me to work when it rain heavily & somemore my another female colleague is in the car.

Cut short, I moved to my parent house this May till now. He dunno wat he did wrong untill he personally request go ask god den he realised he did wrong thing to me. & yesterday 24 July I saw his message with him colleague about choring. He give the girl service hp no to his colleague & told him colleague which one is good & he had tried who.

I will not forgiving him anymore. Divorce is wat i want.
 

simon73

Member
better think thrice .....dun be rash. Maybe you should give him a final warning.

Love is very unpredictable...from courtship , love , planning for marriage & flat , quarrel & argument & parenthood etc.
Out of sudden , everything can be back to square one...
 

MrZQ

Member
So sorry that you got that type of guy as your husband. Kids are always the innocent party when marriage dont work out. This type of guy is not mature, doesnt put family above everything, no jobs, no $ still can go out find girls. I fully agreed that he should not be given a chance anymore and divorce is the way to get your life back on track. Im sure your parents, friends and relatives will understand why you do that. All the best to you and stay strong for the sake of your baby. Jia you.
 

shiori chong

New Member
kid is always the most innocent and somemore your kid is still so young.. i feel sad is that your kid had this kind of daddy.. since you know he havin gal serivce what worried me most is does he catch any sex disease ? That he might bring back spread to you and your baby .. This kind of man is the one i detest the most , married , even had a kids having a family still go out play gal never think of Aids . Worst no go work bad tempter doestn even think of your baby future . I agree you divorce with him be strong and as you may find a better man that know to think well.
 

shopaholic

Member
I dont hv any advice as I believe that you being in the relationship will know best what is for you and baby. In a marriage, trust and commitment are very important. If one party starts to suspect this and that, it can lead to more problems. Similarly, if one party is not committed to building this family (including the financial aspects), then it becomes draining on the other. No matter what, think through this seriously. I believe both of you went through a lot before you were together, but if it reaches a point beyond mending, then plan for yourself and your child. Things like where to stay, enough money to pay for daily necessities, engaging a lawyer, plans for the future etc, are areas you need to think about.
 

jean85

New Member
I dont hv any advice as I believe that you being in the relationship will know best what is for you and baby. In a marriage, trust and commitment are very important. If one party starts to suspect this and that, it can lead to more problems. Similarly, if one party is not committed to building this family (including the financial aspects), then it becomes draining on the other. No matter what, think through this seriously. I believe both of you went through a lot before you were together, but if it reaches a point beyond mending, then plan for yourself and your child. Things like where to stay, enough money to pay for daily necessities, engaging a lawyer, plans for the future etc, are areas you need to think about.
I agreed and I think its time to divorce him and stay a new life of you with your kid.
 

ryanchew

Member
I think you are not able to divorce unless you go thru separation first. If you really cannot stand him, why not go thru separation first and see what happens after 3 years? He might have changed by then? Anyway, once we have kids, it will be more difficult. We have to put kids in the first place. How about her personal development with a single parent? Like you said, he has high earning power. And if u cant prove he is a good father, what if the kid goes to him?
 

ryanchew

Member
I have the strong feeling he is not want the child, is the flat he want for
If you really want to leave him, get some proof of his mis-behaving. At least the kid will go to you, and you can get maintenance as well. Better future for your kid. Most imptly, stay strong and get as much support as you need from friends & family. It helps.
 

sarika123

New Member
kid is always the most innocent and somemore your kid is still so young.. i feel sad is that your kid had this kind of daddy.. since you know he havin gal serivce what worried me most is does he catch any sex disease ? That he might bring back spread to you and your baby .. This kind of man is the one i detest the most , married , even had a kids having a family still go out play gal never think of Aids . Worst no go work bad tempter doestn even think of your baby future . I agree you divorce with him be strong and as you may find a better man that know to think well.
Yes !!!! It is very true...I think it is nice sharing in this site...thanks for sharing with us....
 

Ting

Well-Known Member
I think you are not able to divorce unless you go thru separation first. If you really cannot stand him, why not go thru separation first and see what happens after 3 years? He might have changed by then? Anyway, once we have kids, it will be more difficult. We have to put kids in the first place. How about her personal development with a single parent? Like you said, he has high earning power. And if u cant prove he is a good father, what if the kid goes to him?
i believe a child can grow up well with single or both parents. its the upbringing of the kid that matters.. nth to do with single parenting or what. if both parent are F up, then the kid might be better off without any parent at all. if the mum/dad knows how to bring the child up well, and teach them the right values, the child would learn to understand the situation and develop well.
the father here obviously have a big issue alr. he is lazy and refuse to work. He is irresponsible towards his own family and takes things for granted and he fools around.so what if his earning power is high? the court/judge will not grant custody just bcos u hv higher earning power.
anyway, her child is still very young, usually kids below 4, custody will be given to the mother, unless the mother is deemed unfit to care and look after the child. im sure she have thought it over and make this decision, which could possibly be the best for her n her child. i believe her husband wouldnt change, even if he does, it would prob take him another 10 yrs to realise his own mistakes.
 
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From your true life experience, i think he is not that lovely dovey hubby type.
More towards those rough ah beng type, i presume; self centred and insensitive.

Before you decide what you wnat to do, ask these to yourslef:
1) Will he be a good father to your girl?
2) Can you forget the infidelity?
3) Do you still have that affection for him?

If all answer "NO"s.... then it's time for a change.
I any is answered "yes", then you need to think again.
Please seek family consult or assitance.


We together since 2002. 1st abortion 2004 & 2nd abortion at 2005.

We ROM on 25th Dec 2005. Customary on 2008. Have my dd on May 2009. & Now we are on sour side.

Before the customary, he scare I cant preggy tried his best to get me preggy without asking if I want. (at that time I just started my CAT course, & I even told him I want to finish my course to get the CAT cert to have better future prospect)

During my preggy, most of the time I go alone for routine check-up & pay myself. He will wait for me to sleep & sneak out to have drink with him friend. (He thot I dunno but actually I know he went out). Before I bb was borned, he lost his job due to hot temper. I help him search online for job help him sent resumes. Skip.... Skip.... dd is 4 month old alr, we both get a job. & ...... CNY is coming, he was MC for the whole month of Feb. When 1st day of March was he resume work after the long MC. But he was unable to wake up due to have too much beer the night before. A week later, he was sacked because of his temper again.

Soon, dd 1st birthday is coming & I pay for all the buffet & everything for the celebration. When I ask for him advice, he just said "anything lah". (2 full month din work & i pay for the expenses. Help him find job sent resumes again)

He finally get a job after dd birthday & work till now. He earning power is high.

2010, July he suspect I have an affair with my new colleague. My new colleague just lobang me to work when it rain heavily & somemore my another female colleague is in the car.

Cut short, I moved to my parent house this May till now. He dunno wat he did wrong untill he personally request go ask god den he realised he did wrong thing to me. & yesterday 24 July I saw his message with him colleague about choring. He give the girl service hp no to his colleague & told him colleague which one is good & he had tried who.

I will not forgiving him anymore. Divorce is wat i want.
 
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