To Give Or Not To Give

Thunderbird

New Member
[h=2]Hi All, sorry I'm re-posting this as a new thread as I do need urgent advice on this coz my maid is going back in 3 weeks time.


Re: First time getting maid - need advice!![/h]
Hi everyone, hope everyone had a fantastic Lunar New Year. I didnt realised my last posting was ages ago!

Time really flies and my maid has already been with us for 20 months now. Her contract is expiring in July and I have already told her I would like to renew her contract for another 2 years to which she said ok. Over these 20 months, I am generally happy with her performance most of the time. If there is anything to "complain" about, it's sometimes she will show us black face if she's not happy (eg, she has a tendency to overcook and end up with a lot of leftovers to which we once jokingly said she had to finish all the food up and her face became black.) But even with the occasional black face, she is on the whole quite attentive towards my kids and thus I decided to renew her contract. However I dont't know if it is a Filipino thingy. You see, in the first contract it is stated that she gets to go out 9am - 6pm on her off days, meaning she has to come back latest by 6pm. This one time, because it was her birthday and she said her friends wanted to celebrate for her, she asked if she could come back at 7pm and I said YES. To my surprise, thereafter every off-day she comes by at 7pm! I was a bit annoyed by it but after thinking about it, 7pm doesn't seem too unreasonable as well so I left it at that.

But anyways, my real problems/dilemmas are:

Home trips
I understand they usually get a home trip after a 2-year completion of their contract. She has requested to go back earlier in March to attend her eldest son graduating ceremony. Naturally being a mother myself, I couldn't say no to that so I agreed to let her go back before her contract finishes. She is going back mid March and only coming back in early April. My questions are,
1) does she get her march salary before she leaves or after she comes back?
2) Are they (FDWs) usually entitled to salary during their leave back home?

Salary advances
This is the BIG DILEMMA I'm facing right now because she has written me a letter "begging" me for 5 months of advanced salary from March to July - salary she has not even earned!!! Her reason is that she wants to bring her two kids on a holiday to "star city" (the legoland of Philippines) and buy some new clothes and presents for them when she's back, since this is the first time in a long time she's seeing her kids. By right, my friend has advised me that I should withhold her March salary in case she goes back and doesn't return (since there are many cases of maids doing that and my friend is a victim herself. Her maid promised and assured her that she will come back but in the end, she didn't board the return flight back to Singapore). If I give her the advance salary, there is a chance she will not come back and I will lose 5 months of salary. If I dont't give her, she's like very "poor thing" and I feel sorry for her. I do not want to give her the advance salary but dont't know how to put it across to her without looking heartless.

I NEED ADVICE. SHOULD I GIVE OR SHOULD I NOT?

Appreciate all your advices.

Thanks!​
 

Pinkcream

New Member
Not to give
Your maid should learn to spend within her mean
If she plan to go tour, she should start to save and not to get advance
I dont think you are heartless
 
my initial intention is to allow my maid to go off from 8am to 8pm. I told her that i will give her grace period of 1 hr in case anything crops up. From then, she takes it as her off is from 8am to 9pm. my contract does not state the off hours. so, i could not do much about this.

as for salary advances, i think that you should not give too.

once we start to give in, they will ask for more or take things for granted
 

DIAN

New Member

Salary advances
This is the BIG DILEMMA I'm facing right now because she has written me a letter "begging" me for 5 months of advanced salary from March to July - salary she has not even earned!!! Her reason is that she wants to bring her two kids on a holiday to "star city" (the legoland of Philippines) and buy some new clothes and presents for them when she's back, since this is the first time in a long time she's seeing her kids. By right, my friend has advised me that I should withhold her March salary in case she goes back and doesn't return (since there are many cases of maids doing that and my friend is a victim herself. Her maid promised and assured her that she will come back but in the end, she didn't board the return flight back to Singapore). If I give her the advance salary, there is a chance she will not come back and I will lose 5 months of salary. If I dont't give her, she's like very "poor thing" and I feel sorry for her. I do not want to give her the advance salary but dont't know how to put it across to her without looking heartless.

I NEED ADVICE. SHOULD I GIVE OR SHOULD I NOT?

Appreciate all your advices.

Thanks!​
[/QUOTE]

If I were you, I defenitely won't give. You give her advance 5 months salary to go back and suey-suey she won't come back, you lost 5 months salary + wp renewal + insurance + home leave fees + air ticket. May be she got planning to work with another employer, the deduction maybe 2 months or no deduction. Is not that we are heartless or not. Must think thrice before make the decision. Good Luck...
 

Thunderbird

New Member
Not to give
Your maid should learn to spend within her mean
If she plan to go tour, she should start to save and not to get advance
I dont think you are heartless
Yes, pinkcream.
My sentiments exactly. If she wanted to bring her kids on holiday, she should have planned in advance and start saving up for the holiday and not borrow money to "enjoy".
 

Eliza

Member
Not to give. I have maids for quite a while now and has just recently fired a maid after a month. I am currently maid-less and that's the best thing I've done. You should not feel 'heartless' about not advancing her salary coz there is no guarantee that she will come back. After the maid completed two years contract with you, they are entitled to two weeks paid home leave anything more than two weeks is not entitled to pay. Usually we will give her after she comes back from her home leave.
There is indeed a need to put some leveling between employer and maid. You provide her the job, she does it and if she's good, it's up to you whether you want to give her bonus. She should not expect it not to mention advancing! You are only expected to provide her three meals a day (nourishing and not just instant noodles) and if she is hungry in between, you can buy her some biscuits or she can use her own money to get them.
I used to get soft hearted with my maids and end up they took it for granted. I only have two good maids so far and the rest are all greedy. Learn to use company policy and appraise them by their performance.
Again, no need to feel 'heartless'. Remember, if you want to go for holiday with your family, will your company advance your salary?
 

Thunderbird

New Member
Thank you everyone for sharing your thoughts and advices. They really helped "firm" up my decision. Anyhow I've just had a talk with her and explained to her that I cannot help her because her request is not fair to me. I asked her: "what if you dun come back? There is no guarantee that you will come back right?" and she just kept silent. So I guess she probably would not come back after her trip.

Perhaps it's partly my fault. I think I've been too nice to her. I have many a times allow her to advance her salary because she said she had family emergencies, eg father had to go for eye op, sister had to give birth no money to go hospital, etc etc. First, it's middle of month, she ask to receive her pay for the month early. Then 1 month becomes 2 months. Now 2 months become 5 months. Its a classic example of "give her an inch and she ask for a yard".

I realised another mistake I've committed is that I bring her out too much. She goes everywhere with us on weekends, eat restaurant style, go zoo, go legoland. That's why shes "exposed" to all these "luxury" items and she starts comparing.

Another mistake is giving her an iPhone and worse still, giving her wifi access so she gets such easy access to her family and that's prob why all her family problems are comminucated to her at real time. I'm sure all maids go abroad to work due to family problems of some sort and not enough money to support back home. But they probably dunno all these problems if they are only allowed to call home once a month or once very 2 weeks. She gets too much access and too much contact with her family, that's y the problems also increase.

I've gone against many advices from friends not to give phones and Internet access to my maid coz I feel they should also enjoy a decent quality of life and have the right to keep in touch with their family. I realise now that there's more harm than good really.

So I hope my experiences can help others when facing similar problems.
1) never ever give advance salary. Once u start, it will never stop.
2) keep weekends a pure family time, ie leave your maid at home even if it means more inconveniences for you.
3) refrain from giving mobile phone. If you want to give, u have to limit the usage, ie number of calls home every month and no Internet.
 

Thunderbird

New Member
Not to give. I have maids for quite a while now and has just recently fired a maid after a month. I am currently maid-less and that's the best thing I've done. You should not feel 'heartless' about not advancing her salary coz there is no guarantee that she will come back. After the maid completed two years contract with you, they are entitled to two weeks paid home leave anything more than two weeks is not entitled to pay. Usually we will give her after she comes back from her home leave.
There is indeed a need to put some leveling between employer and maid. You provide her the job, she does it and if she's good, it's up to you whether you want to give her bonus. She should not expect it not to mention advancing! You are only expected to provide her three meals a day (nourishing and not just instant noodles) and if she is hungry in between, you can buy her some biscuits or she can use her own money to get them.
I used to get soft hearted with my maids and end up they took it for granted. I only have two good maids so far and the rest are all greedy. Learn to use company policy and appraise them by their performance.
Again, no need to feel 'heartless'. Remember, if you want to go for holiday with your family, will your company advance your salary?
Thanks Eliza, for the sound advice.

Actually, she hasn't even finished her 2 year contract. She only finishes in July and by right, she should only go back in August. But she ask if she can go back early to attend her boy's graducation ceremony and yes, softhearted is the word. Being softhearted, I agreed to let her go back 5 months early. I think she just takes it for granted coz I've agreed to her requests time and time again, so each time she just keeps asking for more. And I did use the company policy on her and told her that holiday should be spent with savings not borrowed money. She was just sobbing the whole time but I told myself I cannot get softhearted again.

I dunno if she intends to come back but I told her if shes unhappy because of this, I'm ok if she wants to find a better employer to work for. Theres always a way out even without maids right?
 

Eliza

Member
Just give her the month salary she worked for before she leaves. This is to secure yourself so that she cannot complain to MOM saying you with hold her salary. If you intend to keep her, just hope for the best but at the same time get prepared that she may not come back. There are more maids to choose from now since the new ruling starts and to be honest, I will not keep the maid you have right now.
 
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