trouble with my 2 yr old

[annawt]

hi mummies, can anyone teach me a way to stop my 2 yr old girl from her naughty behavior. when we don't go with her way, she rolls on the floor bang her head on the wall , then beat people, bite and pinch. when I send her to enrichment class which I had to sit in with her , she go around beating other kids that wants to play with her. I tried making her stand , told her off and I am tried cos I dk what else can I do . my mum is her main caregiver and everyday she will complain to me and I am so afraid that school won't want to accept her pls help?!

 

[bibiluvr]

hi,
i think they are not called terrible twos for no reason.. haha.. my girl is the same, just that she does not beat people. She used to roll on the floor and cried loudly but i have got used to other ppl's stares by just standing aside and ignoring her. There are many parenting books and tips available but it really depends on the child. My hubby always says i have theories but when it comes to actual discipline, my girl is more afraid of him.

But i think it is true that when she throws a tantrum, say she wants to buy something, we can't always give in coz they seem to be testing their boundaries and will kick a bigger tantrum the next time until we give in. Some things i tried include distracting her with other things, telling her we are not going to buy anything when we go into a shop, praising her when she is well behaved etc.

I do hit her palms when she does naughty things and i will tell her i do not like this kind of behaviour and asked her if she wants others to do the same to her. But since your mum is the main caregiver, she must have the same expectations as you. Think children are very smart these days, they know who are the ones they can 'bully'.

I read the super nanny books and she mentioned that disciplining should start only after two but think we have to start early with our tones of speaking. Low and firm tone and speak to them at their eye level. Keep trying.. (btw, my skin has got thicker so i m not that embarrassed anymore when people are staring) ancing_tongue:

 

[happymummyo7]

Hi mummies. Just wanna share sth i learnt from a discipline talk conducted by my son's cc director.
Consistency is the key to discipline. No matter what method u r using, follow through.
Whatever the kids do, they r testing for the reaction. Rmb that they come to this world clean as a plain sheet of paper. They knw nth. So they can only use trial n error method to keep trying. Put yrself in yr child's shoes, he/she dosent knw whats right whats wrong. Eg. Yr child thinks, 'i want that toy', he dosent knw anything abt needing to purchase, dosent belong to him, he only knws 'he wants it'. N he may nt even knw hw to express himself, so he cries, throws a fit, thats his way of explaining he wants it. When u react by getting angry for his tantrum, he dosent understand y u r angry. When u give in when he throws a tantrum, he gets the msg thats hw he shd behave when he wants sth. If u dont give in today, give in tmr, he gets confuse, n will keep trying harder.

When my boy had his first tantrum. I put him on the bed, close the door, sat a lil away frm him on the bed, tells him firmly 'im sorry mummy dont entertain tantrum, talk to me after u finish crying'. He'll try to stop his tears then i hold him sitting on my lap n talk abt his behaviour. Tells him i understand he is angry/frustrated/sad bcos of blablabla but throwin a tantrum or crying dosent help. Then offer sth else like we have to keep yr toys nw bcos its time for bed, hw abt we'll sing a special song tonight ok? Then i'll give him a big hug n kiss n that ends the drama.
Nowadays he rarely throws tantrums. My value that i taught n he learnt is that he cant always have everything he wants, but theres always other options. When we r out he c a toy he likes n if im nt buying, he will cooly tells me 'its ok another time ok?'.

 

[Mommy2bof3]

my 2 yr old is the same way and i just simply took her favorite thing away (land before time movies for her lol) and i put her in the corner. She has her good days and bad. But it will get better when they get older. But beating on kids and adults she dont do maybe u should get her checked for ADD i think its called but im not sure.

 

[annawt]

hi mummies, thanks for your reply and my late reply. I sent her to school recently she gets better although in the first few days she still beat people and now instead of her bullying other kids, they bullying her instead which is also a trouble cause ever since she get nightmares almost every night, oh my

 

[adoreachild]

Don't worry let her go to school for one month. I think when she will watch others children playing and reading together then she might change her behavior. So, wait for few days see what is happening.

 

[lyra]

Just sharing my two cents. I was shopping one day and saw a father disciplining his two year old. She was struggling on the bench while the adults try to put shoes on her feet. She kept screaming "I want walk walk!" but the father push her down and kept shouting "no walk walk unless you wear your shoes!". She cried n screamed like she was tortured. In my mind I was thinking a two year old probably can only understand "no walk walk!" and the "unless you wear your shoes" have flew pass her... So we must simply our terms and use positives when talking to kids. She must think daddy is stopping her from walking which she wants and there's no way she can go down to walk! I'd say "ok! Walk walk. Wear shoes!"

 

[fionliu]

My girl now 25 months oso the same, will cry and roll on the floor if she can't get something and her speech is slow too , she can only speak single words, my husband is alway telling me there is something wrong with her cos no kids behave like this! Just recently we bring her to speech therapy but the therapy can't deal with her too cos she very bad temper if she dun get her way she cry, the therapist ask us to bring her to assessment, so no choice next week bring her to aba assessment, can mummies tell me , I tot a normal child will oso have this kind of behaviour rite? I feel she going thru the terrible 2 but they really scared me off. Hope to get some assurance from the mummies here.

 

[Camy03]

My daughter will also cry when she dont get what she want, but i guess this is part of growing up?
On our part we have to be stern and serious when we want to bring our message across.
When my daughter cry I will encourage her to cry more and after a while she find no meaning to it and will stop.
I will not allow her to cry her way through and still get what she want, but she like to run to my maid to seek refuge as my maid dotes and pamper her.
She behave this way cos there is always someone there that is giving in to her, and mind you, they are very smart!!
They know who can be bullied and who cannot.