Unhappy with MIL

Vivic

Member
Recently I felt very unhappy with my MIL. My hubby's sis just gave birth three days ago, she went to hospital very often and stay there for long hours. This make me feel very sad. Last year when I gave birth, she only came at night, stay for two hours only, just came once. She helped me with confinement, but did not cook confinement food much. today, I told my hubby about my feeling, my hubby just said past is past, ask me don't biase against her. My own mum at M'sia. She got health problem, can't help me. After I saw my MIL so cares about her own daughter, caused me miss my mother very much.
Am I requesting too much? Am I an unreasonable person? I just feel imbalance, 心里不平衡.
 

xiaodaisy

Active Member
no choice , afterall that is her own daughter so maybe ur mil will be more anxious ..

just let it go .. as long she dont make life difficult for u , be happy with it .. =)

cheer up !!!
 

Vivic

Member
Thanks for your advise. I have tried not to think too much. But the way she treat me very different. She send her own daughter home after discharged from hospital, but when I discharged, no sight of her.
 

xiaodaisy

Active Member
its ok .. at least u have ur baby & hubby sending u home .. dont be bothered by her actions , i think own daughter thus she's more caring to her den to u as a daughter in law ..

dont think of this issue and move on to focus on other stuffs , like ur baby ? makes ur life happier isnt it =)

for me , i rather my mil dont come cos she show obviously biased on my kids .. doting my son n treating my daughter invisible
 
its ok .. at least u have ur baby & hubby sending u home .. dont be bothered by her actions , i think own daughter thus she's more caring to her den to u as a daughter in law ..

dont think of this issue and move on to focus on other stuffs , like ur baby ? makes ur life happier isnt it =)

for me , i rather my mil dont come cos she show obviously biased on my kids .. doting my son n treating my daughter invisible

i definitely agree. shrug it off as your mother in law didn't mean you harm. it is just that her very own daughter is giving birth. your ill feeling may be due to your longing for your mother. but dont worry, cheer up! you have your baby and husband to think about. and maybe you can be as supportive as your mother in law to your sister in law. your experience as a mother will help her too.
 

Alisa

Active Member
this happens to me too! my SIL gave birth 1 yr later than me and MIL did her confinement too. The feeling is totally different cuz we are not her real daughter, worst is my mom already passed away so i don have a mother to go too... i am not jealous that i do not have a better treatment as my SIL but at least something equal but never mind, i am still not her daughter after all. like waht XiaoDaisy said, i rather she don come so close to my son! now my son prefer in-laws than parents...
 
Daughter in law will never be as close as own daughter in most cases. Well, if you had read some of the horrifying MIL stories in here, u will be grateful that at least ur mil is not lidat. LOL. Like my case, my mil oso didnt do much when i was preggy or after i gave birth, but she is a horrible old lady who stabbed me at the back, go around telling tales, acting victimized. Then in front of others act like the kindest grandmother to my kids, but behind them she shoo my kids like as if they were an animal.

I think a lot of mummies here will wish to be like in ur situation too where mil a bit more bo chup. As long as you got ur hb's love and support, i think that is the most impt le. Don't think so much, enjoy motherhood! :)
 

Vivic

Member
Thanks for your advise. I will try to let it go. But this morning, she compare my baby with her daughter's baby. Her baby is 1kg more than my son when giving birth. She keeps saying I never take care of him when pregnant, that's why so skinny.
 

Vivic

Member
xiaodaisy:718341 said:
its ok .. at least u have ur baby & hubby sending u home .. dont be bothered by her actions , i think own daughter thus she's more caring to her den to u as a daughter in law ..

dont think of this issue and move on to focus on other stuffs , like ur baby ? makes ur life happier isnt it =)

for me , i rather my mil dont come cos she show obviously biased on my kids .. doting my son n treating my daughter invisible
I can understand how you feel. But really not easy when you see your mil so biased against your daughter.

I will try to let it go. I will take good care of my son and my hubby.
 
Thanks for your advise. I will try to let it go. But this morning, she compare my baby with her daughter's baby. Her baby is 1kg more than my son when giving birth. She keeps saying I never take care of him when pregnant, that's why so skinny.

well that is a different story. i don't like nepotism in the family. let you MIL know that you appreciate if she accepts the babies' individualities.
 

Chewysee

Member
bo bian leh. that one is her own daughter. of course will dote on own daughter more. how I wish my mil is like Urs. don't come bother me
 

vivitan

Member
Be glad that she is leaving you alone to get on with your life.
Dun wait till you have one mil who meddle into every part of your life then you regret.
Just let her be and dun have to feel any imbalance.So
long your hubby loves you and now you have your baby and your own family, Heck that woman okie!
 

Ting

Well-Known Member
its normal for her to dote n get more concerned over her own daughter...
think abt it this way, comparing both ur own mum n mil, who you dote more? obviously your own mother right??
you can nvr treat your mil the way u treat your mum, so you can't expect your mil to treat u the same or better than her own daughter.
and i agree, its better than she doesnt bother abt your life rather than poking her nose into everything u do.. =)
 

Ting

Well-Known Member
haha thats why somehow i hope i wont hv a son (prefer daughters anyway!) so that i wont hv conflict with my "DILs". =)
 

chrisatel

New Member
My mil told me face to face that daughter in law forever will never be like own daughter so close. Ok even better, I hope she stays away.
 

Ting

Well-Known Member
i think im quite heng... cos my mil doesnt really bother me and she does her own stuff, i do mine. =)
 
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