I quit my job when i am preggy with my 1st child. Started my "job" as a SAHM and glad to say, this is one decision which i didn't regret. Of cos, sometimes i will feel angry and sad but normally towards the end of the day, i will have the sense of satisfaction..Now i am looking after my 2nd bb on my own, without any helpers. My day is super busy everyday, have to do housework, cook for my DS, feed my BB and etc...but i can feel the triple satisfaction (3rd satisfaction from HB cos he is very appreciative).
What makes u decide to be a SAHM and any regrets?
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liangmum
Member
Heehee, indeed.:tlaugh:
never thought growing up that I'd become a SAHM... always thought I'd be working. But... life has a way of throwing you curve balls.
Been a SAHM since bb #1... almost 6 years later and 3 babies... no real regrets. That was one major reason for me staying home. I try to live my life with the motto of doing the best I can and not regretting anything ever. Not being home to watch my children grow is something that cannot be fixed. Career and money can always been worked on later when they've grown and don't need so much of my time and energy.
Not the easiest life but it has its very sweet rewards. Would I do it again... YES! but with better planning.
Been a SAHM since bb #1... almost 6 years later and 3 babies... no real regrets. That was one major reason for me staying home. I try to live my life with the motto of doing the best I can and not regretting anything ever. Not being home to watch my children grow is something that cannot be fixed. Career and money can always been worked on later when they've grown and don't need so much of my time and energy.
Not the easiest life but it has its very sweet rewards. Would I do it again... YES! but with better planning.
~mysterious-m~
Member
My husband wants me to stay at hm to tk cr of our son when he knows i m pregnant....
cos he said he doesnt trust the maid(me too), & the bond btw me & my son will be closer if i tk cr of him myself.
& he doesnt have to worry so much if he's outside working..
my MIL is working, & we couldnt possibly ask my FIL to tk cr of my son when he is such a MCP.
he usually just play with my son instead of tking cr of him.
actually there're times when i feel like going out to work.
cos i feel like i m losing touch with the outside world..
but as my son grows older, he tells me everything he saw & everything he learns..
if i were to go out & work, i will have miss out the the 1st of everything that he learnt & did...
now he is very very close to me..
almost 24/7, except the 3 hrs of him being in sch, he is always with me...
haha!!
cos he said he doesnt trust the maid(me too), & the bond btw me & my son will be closer if i tk cr of him myself.
& he doesnt have to worry so much if he's outside working..
my MIL is working, & we couldnt possibly ask my FIL to tk cr of my son when he is such a MCP.
he usually just play with my son instead of tking cr of him.
actually there're times when i feel like going out to work.
cos i feel like i m losing touch with the outside world..
but as my son grows older, he tells me everything he saw & everything he learns..
if i were to go out & work, i will have miss out the the 1st of everything that he learnt & did...
now he is very very close to me..
almost 24/7, except the 3 hrs of him being in sch, he is always with me...
haha!!
Angelmum
Moderator
The same Yukee that I know?
I became SAHM cos no choice. DD's best caregiver (the cheapest and BEST too) is still mummy.
no regrets absolutely! the wonder years are only so short... and they are such important years becos i've first hand experience of how overdoting and permissive grandparents and horrible maid resulted in an insecure child with low self-esteem, no motivation, helplessness etc.... very sad.
staying home allows me to see how my ds develops daily and the amazing things he says and does all the time!
staying home allows me to see how my ds develops daily and the amazing things he says and does all the time!
Little Quinn
New Member
I wan to be SAHM!!!! but then I cant...I hate the feeling that my DD isnt close to me but she's close to MIL instead...
priscilla
Member
Well, be it a SAHM or FTWM, let us do our part to provide the best we can for our children. Spend as much quality time with them as we can.
As for me and my husband, we have decided before our marriage that if we have a child, I will stay home for the child. I think watching my child reaches every milestones and spending the time bonding with him are the best rewards that I have staying home with him for the last 4 years though my in-laws and friends would not understand why I turned down a promotion and stay home when I have a rather high paying job of more than $3K. But I think the life of my child more or less makes up for the monetary loss and I want to be part of his growing up instead of having a maid. And that I want to create his memory for him, so far I have done 2 scrap photo albums for him and also digital DVDs of him which we intended to give him when he turned 18 or 21.
Like some of you, I also hope that I can impart the right values to him and in future that he will not put my husband and I into old folks home. Also I think that nobody besides me will be able to take care of him better and personally I do not like the idea of a live-in maid and never have the intention of sending him to childcare, so this arrangement suit us best but it is tiring since I have to ferry him to preschool, his enrichment classes like swimming, gymnastics and other classes as well as play dates.
However, I am quite happy that 3 of us will do housework together during the weekend and that my ds can help me with vacuuming and laundry during the week. I still keep in touch with my colleagues through emails and through meals.
So far, I am very good with this arrangement and have no regret staying home with my boy.
As for me and my husband, we have decided before our marriage that if we have a child, I will stay home for the child. I think watching my child reaches every milestones and spending the time bonding with him are the best rewards that I have staying home with him for the last 4 years though my in-laws and friends would not understand why I turned down a promotion and stay home when I have a rather high paying job of more than $3K. But I think the life of my child more or less makes up for the monetary loss and I want to be part of his growing up instead of having a maid. And that I want to create his memory for him, so far I have done 2 scrap photo albums for him and also digital DVDs of him which we intended to give him when he turned 18 or 21.
Like some of you, I also hope that I can impart the right values to him and in future that he will not put my husband and I into old folks home. Also I think that nobody besides me will be able to take care of him better and personally I do not like the idea of a live-in maid and never have the intention of sending him to childcare, so this arrangement suit us best but it is tiring since I have to ferry him to preschool, his enrichment classes like swimming, gymnastics and other classes as well as play dates.
However, I am quite happy that 3 of us will do housework together during the weekend and that my ds can help me with vacuuming and laundry during the week. I still keep in touch with my colleagues through emails and through meals.
So far, I am very good with this arrangement and have no regret staying home with my boy.
mumy_audrey
New Member
Never got to enjoy my baby from age 1 to 3. Hubby thot it was better if I stayed at home then we can spend more time with her.
Was a bit strange initially as she was with me 24/7. But got the hang of it eventually.
We have been trying for baby no. 2 but to no success. I plan to give up but hubby still wants another. Thinking whether we should, cos of my age.
Was a bit strange initially as she was with me 24/7. But got the hang of it eventually.
We have been trying for baby no. 2 but to no success. I plan to give up but hubby still wants another. Thinking whether we should, cos of my age.
Celina
Member
I didnt work frm the start im with my hubby till now bb 5 mths
1) No1 can really help me tend to my baby (MIL n MAID) which i dun really trust
2) Baby's upbringing (Grand parents tend to spoil n not teach them
3) He only wants ME ME N ME (Dun wan others)
4) I nv really worked b4
5) HUbby wants me to stay home with kid till he's older
6) I have more time for everyone (my family, hubby n Baby)
7) I watch him GROW
8) Want him to be more closer to ME dan OTHERS?
9) I cant put my mind at ease without him (he's my 1st in everything)
10) HUbby alr have no time for him, dan i dun have time for him (wad will happen)
1) No1 can really help me tend to my baby (MIL n MAID) which i dun really trust
2) Baby's upbringing (Grand parents tend to spoil n not teach them
3) He only wants ME ME N ME (Dun wan others)
4) I nv really worked b4
5) HUbby wants me to stay home with kid till he's older
6) I have more time for everyone (my family, hubby n Baby)
7) I watch him GROW
8) Want him to be more closer to ME dan OTHERS?
9) I cant put my mind at ease without him (he's my 1st in everything)
10) HUbby alr have no time for him, dan i dun have time for him (wad will happen)
For my case, my SAHM will be a temporary status ( I think).
Y did i decide to be SAHM ?
I want to be there to see how my children develop . Wasn't there to see when my first two children uttered their first word, first steps, first everything.
So b4 3rd baby came, discussed with hubby that i would be SAHM. Looking after my youngest toddler now, makes me feel like being a first time mum altogether.
Regrets ?
I've learnt that things can't always be rosy and perfect esp at home. ( When i was working, i was so used to routines and getting things organised :001_302: ) No regrets. Treasure every minute of it now b4 i resume work in future.
Y did i decide to be SAHM ?
I want to be there to see how my children develop . Wasn't there to see when my first two children uttered their first word, first steps, first everything.
So b4 3rd baby came, discussed with hubby that i would be SAHM. Looking after my youngest toddler now, makes me feel like being a first time mum altogether.
Regrets ?
I've learnt that things can't always be rosy and perfect esp at home. ( When i was working, i was so used to routines and getting things organised :001_302: ) No regrets. Treasure every minute of it now b4 i resume work in future.
Pink daisy
Member
Simply I do not trust any maids nor nannies, unless it's a family, coz my mum lives overseas, so i quit my job. it's far frm easy, esp when u're a workaholic. Felt so stressed out n start throwing tantrum @ hubby at 1st. Now part timing only
Consider my bb as my 'investment' oso :shyxxx:
Consider my bb as my 'investment' oso :shyxxx:
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Palindrome
Member
Hi it's my first post here. Currently waiting for baby to arrive.
Thinking of whether or not to stay home after my leave ends because there is no suitable person to care for baby.
Does anyone here have experience with living off just one take home income of around 1.7k and still make things work out? I am still living with the in laws though. =D
Thinking of whether or not to stay home after my leave ends because there is no suitable person to care for baby.
Does anyone here have experience with living off just one take home income of around 1.7k and still make things work out? I am still living with the in laws though. =D
LoVeS
Well-Known Member
I tink shouldnt b a prob since ur DH take hm 1.7K n depending how the 2 of u budget urself. My dh take hm slight abit more than ur DH but we still manage very well n still able to save up to 200-300 per mth in our joint a/c even AFTER giving my ILS $450 per mth as they r paying my dh's hp bill n dh do contribute abit for the mthly SP bill.
Actually as his wife u plays a BIG part whether u 2 can make thru or not. For me, if dh buy gifts for me or ds need to see doc bcoz of sick which i will insist dun gif me any allowance at all n AFTER all i am always at hm so nothing to spend at all.
Cut down on hp bill + choose the cheapest plan so tat when dh pay wont cost alot.
In terms of milk powders n other baby items choose the cheapest brand of diapers BUT of coz muz b suitable for ur bb. If got sales or promo go STOCK UP which u can save quite alot on tis.
Example : pigeon wet wipe usual price is $10.10 but there was once carrefour having promo is selling at $7.50 so if we buy every 1pkts we save $2.60 n when we buy every 4 pkts is equals to USUAL 3 pkts price WHICH we bought quite alot of pkts which save alot coz no matter wat we will still need to use the wet wipes n they dun expire so fast normally.
Normally baby things will cost alot for mthly expenses. Cut down on usual luxury items n foods tat u 2 previously had.
Do ur mil cook meals at hm? If she does then eat at hm as often as possible then should b ok already.
Palindrome
Member
Thanks for the advise Loves
Maybe I'll just try out and see how it goes... I will be doing the cooking. Perhaps choose the cheaper type of food to cook...
HP bill for DH is free, mine is already the cheapest plan.
Its ok that I do not spend on myself. And hopefully we don't get sick or baby doesn't get sick.. Visiting the doc is where all the $ usually goes to on top of baby stuff.
IF all else fails, then i'll look for part time jobs or something...coz my current job doesn't give me a huge take home pay in the first place.
Maybe I'll just try out and see how it goes... I will be doing the cooking. Perhaps choose the cheaper type of food to cook...
HP bill for DH is free, mine is already the cheapest plan.
Its ok that I do not spend on myself. And hopefully we don't get sick or baby doesn't get sick.. Visiting the doc is where all the $ usually goes to on top of baby stuff.
IF all else fails, then i'll look for part time jobs or something...coz my current job doesn't give me a huge take home pay in the first place.
MrsNeo
Member
I don't trust maids. Hope DD is more close to me =x Taking care of my daughter most importantly. Watch her grow up step by step and not neglecting her! ^^ DH doesn't wants me to work too. Definitely won't regret now or even in the future. Cause at the end of the day, it's worth it! =)
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