What makes u decide to be a SAHM and any regrets?
- Thread starter babysg
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sweet pea
New Member
no regrets at all! totally love to be a sahm. i became a sahm coz there's no care-giver but also bcoz i only trust myself to look aft my son. i also have a maid but she does only the mundane stuff at home, i never allow her to take care of the baby and anyway she needs not to as im already a sahm. hubby has been very supporting emotionally and financially..so im fortunate that i have no worries being a sahm. what i missed is that i used to spend money without a permission coz it was the money earned. it's still alright now though, as hubby can fulfill me in whatever i asked for. besides money, he always buys me gifts every other week as encouragement for taking care of the family. i truly missed most is social life, then again, since i have a sweet little boy now, i gotta sacrifice my social life, regardless i hold a job or not.
I gave up my job to become a SAHM as my mum can no longer help me to look after my 2 princesses. Since i can't trust infant care centre and maid to do the job, the natural choice then is i do it myself. Hubby has at first resisted the idea but slowly he recognised the need to though we have to live with the fact that our lifestyle will have to do a little adjustment. 5 months of being a SAHM, i must say that it has been very fulfilling so far and that my daughters are much happier compared to when i was working full time. I guess all are worthwhile even if it meant i have less time to myself.
Domique
Well-Known Member
I am in dilemma now whether to be SAHM. So long never work, not worry cannot find job or pay cut and gotta start all over?
Domique
Well-Known Member
With current economy situation, I worry my hubby's job not stable (sales)... Stress.... ... Even if I do not wanna be SAHM and wanna work, maybe also cannot find job.....
Sob sob...
Sob sob...
PerfectMum
New Member
Hi there,
I'm new in mummysg.. currently im counting down to my last 5days working here. Been working here since i got engaged, married, pregnant and finally gave birth to my baby girl... Have been thinking night & day should i be SAHM. Since I'm in the service industry my company contact ended, therefore they are closing my dept and deployed people. This is when i feel it's the right time to leave since my baby is turning 7mth.
Another thing that make me decide to be SAHM is the way my MIL took care of my daughter.. I am very aware that at times my MIL didn't bath her & just wipe with wet towels on her. She still have not feed her by spoon or gave her the biscuit i bought for introduce solid food stage 1. There is also 1 time that my baby got affected by fungus in her genital area. One time after work i open her diaper and saw powder on it(the red powder that use for adult). I was so angry that i ask my husband to talk to her about it cause i afraid i can't control myself and make situation worse. I paid her $300 monthly beside the $500 my husband gave her for renting the room. I can't tolerate her ignorance. :nah:
Another reason i want to be there for my lil baby and get closer. My IL like to use negetive behaviour to descript my baby action eg when she roll over to my FIL laying beside her, my MIL descript it as jealous,envy which pronouce "dengki". Then i would said its not dengki.. its getting attention & learning... And there's more like she will tell my 6mth daughter.. there is mummy.. go.. go there and beat mummy.. WHAT IS THAT? why teach my 6mth to beat mummy.. Now my baby is sticking her tougue out and that is becoz she imitate my MIL. It is cute but why teach her a character of stubborness..
Hais.. I know it be difficult with financial in a way or so but lets see how this will go.. Cant wait for my last day of work...!
ancing_tongue:
I'm new in mummysg.. currently im counting down to my last 5days working here. Been working here since i got engaged, married, pregnant and finally gave birth to my baby girl... Have been thinking night & day should i be SAHM. Since I'm in the service industry my company contact ended, therefore they are closing my dept and deployed people. This is when i feel it's the right time to leave since my baby is turning 7mth.
Another thing that make me decide to be SAHM is the way my MIL took care of my daughter.. I am very aware that at times my MIL didn't bath her & just wipe with wet towels on her. She still have not feed her by spoon or gave her the biscuit i bought for introduce solid food stage 1. There is also 1 time that my baby got affected by fungus in her genital area. One time after work i open her diaper and saw powder on it(the red powder that use for adult). I was so angry that i ask my husband to talk to her about it cause i afraid i can't control myself and make situation worse. I paid her $300 monthly beside the $500 my husband gave her for renting the room. I can't tolerate her ignorance. :nah:
Another reason i want to be there for my lil baby and get closer. My IL like to use negetive behaviour to descript my baby action eg when she roll over to my FIL laying beside her, my MIL descript it as jealous,envy which pronouce "dengki". Then i would said its not dengki.. its getting attention & learning... And there's more like she will tell my 6mth daughter.. there is mummy.. go.. go there and beat mummy.. WHAT IS THAT? why teach my 6mth to beat mummy.. Now my baby is sticking her tougue out and that is becoz she imitate my MIL. It is cute but why teach her a character of stubborness..
Hais.. I know it be difficult with financial in a way or so but lets see how this will go.. Cant wait for my last day of work...!
ancing_tongue:Hi there, I'm from The Sunday Times and I'm helping out with a story on SAHM, and I need to poll about 30 SAHMs, so if you wouldn't mind talking to me about your decision to be a SAHM, please do email me your contact number and I can give you a call at your convenience by this Thursday!
Cheers,
Xin Hua
The Sunday Times
Journalist
xhkon@sph.com.sg
Cheers,
Xin Hua
The Sunday Times
Journalist
xhkon@sph.com.sg
Hi, I'm very new to this forum as well. But I have been a SAHM for more than 6 years now. I'm so bored at home. I felt that I'm always facing my children all the time, I just dun have the time for myself anymore.During that 6 years of staying at home looking after my children, I went on a part-time course for 3 years. So at least time just flew by quickly. But now, I'm at home 24-7. I'm just going insane.
I love to be there for my kids, but I would also love to have time for myself. I also hate to be a burden to my husband. I have been trying to look for ways to earn extra cash for myself. I dun need to earn alot, but enough for me to spend on myself n kids. At least I got something to do n to socialise. I feel so lonely at home.
I love to be there for my kids, but I would also love to have time for myself. I also hate to be a burden to my husband. I have been trying to look for ways to earn extra cash for myself. I dun need to earn alot, but enough for me to spend on myself n kids. At least I got something to do n to socialise. I feel so lonely at home.
PerfectMum
New Member
hi there, im also new to this forum.. tomorrow i will be officially SAHM.. hope things goes well for me.. as for you.. how old is your kid now?
Hi, I have a girl, 8 yrs old. And a baby boy, turning 1 yr old next week.
Nice to meet u!
Hi babyk2003, i can fully understand how u feel! i'm also new to this forum... i used to be in a corporate job but gave up my job recently. now in my last trimester now & had a 19mth old.
You feel more better to take care of your own children rather than maids or in-laws/parents/ hired nanny.... yes it does get BORED at times but you make arrangements to go out to take a breather while your hubby take over the kids... Money can always earn back... for now, let urself to enjoy being pamper by hubby as a SAHM.
i want to be a stay at home mum too but the opportunity cost is too high.
my husband's potential salary is much lower than my potential salary because of education level.
my mil told me one of her relative's daughter is a lawyer. her husband is a stay at home dad and they have 2 cars- 1 for her to drive to work, one for the father to send kids to school. i think this might be my case if my hubby don't work and stay home. haha! but i don't think i can earn as much as that family. oh well..
my husband's potential salary is much lower than my potential salary because of education level.
my mil told me one of her relative's daughter is a lawyer. her husband is a stay at home dad and they have 2 cars- 1 for her to drive to work, one for the father to send kids to school. i think this might be my case if my hubby don't work and stay home. haha! but i don't think i can earn as much as that family. oh well..
dump at childcare centre? hmmm...i thought that was too strong a word to use.imagine i work to get paid in excess of $3k......then i give it all up to stay at home.....next time my boys better dont't dump me at the old folks home cos i didn't dump them at childcare centre.
in fact, i actually felt that children learn alot at CCC..even during infant care stage. the teachers will be teaching them skills relating to their sight and motor development. besides, they get to interact with other children of similar age as well.
true, that a SAHM may provide the best care for the child. but when it's time to go to child care centres, mommies should go ahead with it. let them build up their socialising skills as well...
Hi TumiMummy,
Yup, it's true that once in a while should get a breather, but my hubby is a very traditional man. He thinks that he works so hard during the day, n coming back at night, he should have a good rest. He doesn't really take care of the children at night. The only time I could break free from my kids is during shower time, while my husband takes care of my baby. So I'm always around my kids 24-7. After 6yrs of staying at home, it's beginning to wear me down.
But my children r my first priority, so when I could get back to work is still a big question in the future for me.
And whether I could still get a job in my thirties n leaving the work force for so long, is a challenge too.
Hi babyk2003,
it'll be good if your hubby is willing to have a heart to heart talk with you....yes he deserves a good rest after a long day at work...but gently remind him..being a SAHM is a 24/7 job.... u r still working when he is off work.. with no compensation and benefits... once a while he take over is reasonable.. u can go to have a good spa massage or meal with your old frens... when u're refreshed and recharged... isn't it better for your hubby & your children?
Job-wise... shld not be a worry if u dont hv too high demands / expectations... some companies prefers women who decided to re-enter the workforce... more willing to work than existing working women / fresh graduates...
it'll be good if your hubby is willing to have a heart to heart talk with you....yes he deserves a good rest after a long day at work...but gently remind him..being a SAHM is a 24/7 job.... u r still working when he is off work.. with no compensation and benefits... once a while he take over is reasonable.. u can go to have a good spa massage or meal with your old frens... when u're refreshed and recharged... isn't it better for your hubby & your children?
Job-wise... shld not be a worry if u dont hv too high demands / expectations... some companies prefers women who decided to re-enter the workforce... more willing to work than existing working women / fresh graduates...
hopefully, he'll listen. Sometimes, i jus felt like whatever i say is not important to him.Hi babyk2003,
it'll be good if your hubby is willing to have a heart to heart talk with you....yes he deserves a good rest after a long day at work...but gently remind him..being a SAHM is a 24/7 job.... u r still working when he is off work.. with no compensation and benefits... once a while he take over is reasonable.. u can go to have a good spa massage or meal with your old frens... when u're refreshed and recharged... isn't it better for your hubby & your children?
Job-wise... shld not be a worry if u dont hv too high demands / expectations... some companies prefers women who decided to re-enter the workforce... more willing to work than existing working women / fresh graduates...
As for job wise, I really dun have high demands.
Thanks for your advice, n most of all, listening to me.It has been a very long time, anyone understood how i feel.
Even my working friends dun understand the situation i m in. They jus think I'm being lazy n prefer not to work. Sad.....
Hi babyk2003, dun bother abt those working frens.... those who said SAHMs are lazy ; they are just ignorant and narrow minded. which mother dun want to have her own income and buy whatever she wants. Each of us is in different situations and not all can continue working. These working frens are not in the right position to critise u. Time will tell that u hv made the right decision to nurture your children on your own instead of focus on working full time.
Hi TumiMummy,
Yup you're right! I should have more confidence in myself rather than hiding in the shadow n ashamed of telling everyone I'm a SAHM.
Thanks for your encouragement!