What should a single mom get ready for CNY?

[BubbaMama]

Hi All,

I am an unwed mother to a 19 month old toddler. I m still deciding if I should stay in Singapore during the CNY.
1) some relatives still dont know that I had a son out of a wedlock, saves my family the explaining.
2) should I give 'ang pows' since my son is receiving them?

So if I am around for CNY, there are things I need to get ready. Like how to answer the awkward questions politely *like how relatives ask singles why they are still not married* etc. And also planning of my son's wardrobe and as well as toys to entertaining him.

Please share your thougths with me so that I can share this on my blog *bubbamama*

Cheers!

 

[yapck]

Hi All,

I am an unwed mother to a 19 month old toddler. I m still deciding if I should stay in Singapore during the CNY.
1) some relatives still dont know that I had a son out of a wedlock, saves my family the explaining.
2) should I give 'ang pows' since my son is receiving them?

So if I am around for CNY, there are things I need to get ready. Like how to answer the awkward questions politely *like how relatives ask singles why they are still not married* etc. And also planning of my son's wardrobe and as well as toys to entertaining him.

Please share your thougths with me so that I can share this on my blog *bubbamama*

Cheers!

you dont have to care what others think of you and never treat your son to be born from wedlock.
he is your blood and flesh.

Our society still holds the perspective of despising single parent, be it in workplace (example Bel's case in the previous thread) or within the family boundary , we are chinese or asian , we hold the principle of one husband or one wife throughout our life time, of course this is what everyone wants to have.....situation alter a person's life. you can change this alternation , but this alternation post a new phase of challenge in YOUR life ! live with it , and enjoy the up and down be it happiness or sadness cos thats the beauty of life.

As for CNY , take it naturally , you can still go visting to your good friends place or hang out with family members you trust . Or plan for a short trip with you and your boy.

ck

 

[BubbaMama]

you dont have to care what others think of you and never treat your son to be born from wedlock.
he is your blood and flesh.

Our society still holds the perspective of despising single parent, be it in workplace (example Bel's case in the previous thread) or within the family boundary , we are chinese or asian , we hold the principle of one husband or one wife throughout our life time, of course this is what everyone wants to have.....situation alter a person's life. you can change this alternation , but this alternation post a new phase of challenge in YOUR life ! live with it , and enjoy the up and down be it happiness or sadness cos thats the beauty of life.

As for CNY , take it naturally , you can still go visting to your good friends place or hang out with family members you trust . Or plan for a short trip with you and your boy.

ck

I don't really care about what others think. I am only worried about how evil the tongues can get and how it will affect my family. As for visiting, I m referring to the ang pows ... I am considered single and still accept ang pows... and my son is taking too.... so its not nice to be receiving too much.

 

[lasery2k]

bubbama,

u can treat it is as married and divorced case...even single unwed...have a child people no matter what will give the child..as for yrself..think there will be fewer people giving u from nw onwards as they take it as gone into adulthood le..

my thinking is no matter what still have to prepare ang bao to give to the kids lah...as for give to elders or cousins then forget it liao...unless the elder is some1 very close to u (eg parents, grand parents, some auntie which u are super close to and had been helping your family all along regardless financial or mentally wise). giving angbao to elder is more like a respect and bao en..

as for giving to children is really yi shi yi shi wishing them grow up smoothly..

if duno how much to bao...jus give 4 buckz loh..always start from low and min then as u progress and earn more then slowly increase loh...

my case is parents both side is 50 each..grandparents is 10 each...super close aunties 10 each...those normal auntie all don't have..hahaha

cousins younger then 18 4buckz..older then 18 all don't have..

cousins/ siblings kids...depends on how much the parents bao loh then first year take liao open n see remember the rate next year bao back de same...but this year we are financially tight so all give 6 - 8buckz only...=X

friends kids...4 - 6 buckz depends on how close the fren is..

 

[crystalpink]

Yes, i agree that even for single mum or single dad should treat it as married so should not receive ang bao anymore. You can just reject them if they still give you. For me, even though Im married, I will not give ang bao to my cousins as well even though they are not married. This is because they are older than me and I dont't think they will feel good to keep receiving our ang bao every yr.. what if they got no intention to marry? Then do I need to keep giving them ang bao until they retire?? Sounds weird rgt?? If that is the case, then I guess all singles would be super rich then.. haha..I had this experience when I gave ang bao to my sis in law(older than me, not married at that time), she rejected my ang bao.

I would feel that it is ok to give to those close elderly like grandparents, aunties etc. I kw that some couples would not give to youngsters once they start working.. i think it makes sense too..

 

[quincy1986]

you can just go ahead and bring your bb along.
so that your bb can get used to all those talking at a younger age.
if you bring your child when he/she is older, it might be harder for the child to digest.

 

[Triple]

Whether single mom or not, shd do CNY thing as if any married family.
Just treat it as if virtual hubby working overseas cannot come back for CNY.
The woman is still a mom, the kid got a mommy.
Why want to expose the kid to different treatment. Shd not shortchange the kid
It's all in the mindset of the mom.
Try be confident and less insecure.

 

[crystalpink]

Yes, since u chose this path yrself then there isn't a need to avoid yr relatives at all.. Im sure yr family members will support you.
If u feel shy to receive angpows, then reject them. Anyway, I do feel that since you already hv yr son, u are already a mother, u shd not be receiving angpows anymore. By doing so, u will not be inviting unnecessary gossipings as well.

 

[BubbaMama]

Yes, since u chose this path yrself then there isn't a need to avoid yr relatives at all.. Im sure yr family members will support you.
If u feel shy to receive ang paos, then reject them. Anyway, I do feel that since you already hv yr son, u are already a mother, u shd not be receiving ang bao anymore. By doing so, u will not be inviting unnecessary gossipings as well.

Yea... they keep giving and I had to keep pushing away .... its kinda embarrassing they are still pushing ang pows ....

 

[crystalpink]

Yea... they keep giving and I had to keep pushing away .... its kinda embarrassing they are still pushing ang pows ....

Yup, its like that. Then keep pushing.. haha.. just tell them that you are a working adult already and no need their angpows anymore. Perhaps when u leave their house, you can place the angpow on the table but must let them kw about it.

 

[Ting]

hmmmm actually some of my mum side relatives also didnt know i was a single mum.. i think some guessed, some just pretend not to know, some probably just assumed i was married.. keke, so some gave me n my daughter, some just gv my daughter! those tt give just take, my mum say cannot reject cos in a way, APs are like a blessing for us, so cannot reject! anyway, just take lor, to be honest i feel the more paiseh u are the more awkward things will get... so just smile n say XIEXIE NI GXFC!!! =)

 

[BubbaMama]

hmmmm actually some of my mum side relatives also didnt know i was a single mum.. i think some guessed, some just pretend not to know, some probably just assumed i was married.. keke, so some gave me n my daughter, some just gv my daughter! those tt give just take, my mum say cannot reject cos in a way, APs are like a blessing for us, so cannot reject! anyway, just take lor, to be honest i feel the more paiseh u are the more awkward things will get... so just smile n say XIEXIE NI GXFC!!! =)

I think give back will be good ... like bless them back

 

[flowerii]

Im a single mum-to-be.. This CNY has been awkward cuz i really feel weird receiving angpows with my big tummy and no hubby by my side. =.='' so when relatives give me, i'll reject but when they insist, i'll take and say thank you since like what Ting said, it's a blessing from them and some relatives still give doesn't matter if you're married or not. My married cousins also receive angpows from some.

I figure out next CNY i'll start giving out angpows to ppl who are younger than me and also, cousins' kids etc. It's my blessing for them! haha.