When do u start to discipline your child?

[pkshl]

Hello mummies, at what age do u start to discipline your child?

my son loves to play with the wires at home etc. i will spank his hands & tell him NO & also tell him the reason why i spank him cos he will cry when i pull him away.but he is still young so ive to teach him again & again. But my mil does not tink so. when i see my 3 & 2yr old niece & nephew doing wrong things, she wont correct them but use " aiya they still young, they dont understand" excuse. But i disagree cos they understand & it also depends on whether their parents teach them right anot.

Since they r not my kids, i cannot say much also. but somehow i cant help but tinking what if my son grows up this way how:nah:....that i y i insisted on bringing him home every night.

 

[apollo]

babe, same as u, i've started to 'discipline' ash alrdy.. though they are still young, but i think we shd make it a habit. lik ur mil, mayb from ur nieces young till nw she has this mindset tt "they are still young" tt's y up till now she still cant change this mindset...

but of cos, discipline babies at such young age, usually they dun really understand until mayb lik 1-2 yo i think? so really nd lotsa patience.. haha..

ash will go and open n close the drawer very violently, den i scolded n piak his palm. aft tt he dun dare.. aft 10min, he went to playt he drawer again but this time, he did it without sounds! and i spotted him, keep turn ard to see if i'm looking at him. haha!

 

[diymummy]

I started disciplining my son from 6 mths. That was when he started screaming and screaming. He was introduced to the word "no" from very young and now, he can fully understand its meaning and comply.

Discipline starts from young. There's a chinese saying which goes something like, the first 3 years are the most foundational years. If you miss this window period, I am afraid that it might be harder to correct their behaviours.

 

[Phoebii Cheng]

I cannot remember when I start to discipline my son, mayb when he learns how to walk and able to explore the house.....

Normally, I will tell him to move away 1st then I will tell him what I will do if he don't move away.....

It is constant repetition in disciplining my son, till he understand, so far only resort to hitting the palm....but we hv bought a cane for future use...:tlaugh: cos' I don't want to associate my hands tht is used to hug him or stroke him to beat him.....

 

[SH74]

there's no fixed age to discipline them. all depends on their development. but usu when they can crawl ard, walk or meddle w things alr, it's good to start alr. dun start too late though cos u'll find it more diffi to discipline since they r alr used to 'NO discipline'.

i read fr mag dat we shldnt use our hands to beat them. shld use a ladle or ruler. cos they may feel dat our hands r 'bad' n 'evil', which our hands shld mean 'love' n 'care'.

anyway, do explain to them aft beating them (lightly) y they cant touch / do certain things. dat's most impt.

 

[TANZHENZHI]

Nowadays my son love to use crying to get attention then when he do something wrong, i only say him, he start crying very loudly. Headache..
He understand what i saying so i always tell him what's right and wrong but he will cry when i hit his hand.

 

[SH74]

Nowadays my son love to use crying to get attention then when he do something wrong, i only say him, he start crying very loudly. Headache..
He understand what i saying so i always tell him what's right and wrong but he will cry when i hit his hand.

kids use crying to get attn cos they know it works when they do dat. so u all (parents n caregivers) cannot b soft-hearted, give in to him when he does dat. he's alr 1+yr old. if he does dat jus to get attn, jus ignore him totally. aft a few times, he'll know it doesnt work anymore. if he cries cos u say him for something he did wrong, jus put him in 1 corner n leave him alone until he stops. den u explain to him y u say him n stuff.

it's either u start now or it'll get more diffi.

 

[Oppsgal]

I told my grandmother we slap the thighs of baby when baby is notti, she says still young at 1 year old plus plus, slap also wont understand us.

Then I read from internet:
How to Properly Discipline a Baby | eHow.com

Cannot spank? Then say NO, but dont listen? Cannot do anything except to scold them.

 

[Oppsgal]

Do babies need discipline? - Families.com

Reading the forum, lots of mummies say NO to spanking children.

 

[apollo]

frankly speaking, i feel that there is no right or wrong when we r disciplining a child. but of cos, no violent, dun abuse them lahh!

as for whether spanking is okay, i feel tt it depends on individual child. some child are easier to teach, dun nd to spank, just say, scold, explain they all understand. but i'm sure most kids arent so easy to teach. spanking is more or less necessary needed in disciplinary i think. but nv over-do it.

lik ds, sometimes i will piak his palm but he is not scare at all, cos he dun really understand. but when he open/close the drawer, i dun hav to piak him at all. wat i nd to do is to turn ard, look at him, and he will auto stop and sometimes will even cry. hello, i didnt even scold him but he starts to cry and move away. haha! as for other issues, he is really v playful. haha..

 

[cocraze]

Anyone discipline child younger than 6 months? My girl (4 months) likes to spurt her milk out whenever she doesn't feel like drinking.

What I do (progressively) is:
1. say nicely "dont drink like that. drink properly. dont waste milk";
2. Make sounds mimicking her sucking, to get her to restart/continue sucking properly (cos she would sometimes just keep the teat in her mouth and not move her mouth AT ALL);
3. change tone of voice to more stern, and say "NO";
4. Take bottle out from her mouth to get her attention, and/or point my finger to her and say "No" with stern tone.

Worst case, which happened only once so far, she continued whatever she was doing, and not drinking at all for almost half an hour. By then she was already fussing and started to want to cry. I spanked her with my hand on her thigh (and regretted doing that immediately *Sobz*Sobz*). She stunned for a moment then continued crying....and spurting milk.....

All the while, progressively in all the stages above (except no. 4), I would still try to make sure the teat is properly in her mouth, so it means I have to keep twisting and turning my hand, along with whatever direction she's trying to 'siam'(hokkien for avoid).

Ive read in the other threads that it seems to be a common occurrence for babies between 3-6 months to be rejecting milk (whether direct bf, EBM or FM), but she's drinking like half of what she used to take, and sometimes even none at all, even though her last day feed was 5 hours ago... So Im both worried and tired and heartache..dont know whether it is a 'discipline' issue or physical problem...

 

[Phoebii Cheng]

I think your daughter is still too young to understand properly what she is doing, could be she is not feeling well.....

I think she cry when you spank her thigh is more of shock that she cry, cos' new experience mah........

Have you brought her to PD for a check? to make sure that at least she is ok....or you might want to observe a few more days if she is spurting out her milk then bring her go see PD? To make sure her tummy is ok

 

[Phoebii Cheng]

frankly speaking, i feel that there is no right or wrong when we r disciplining a child. but of cos, no violent, dont abuse them lahh!

as for whether spanking is okay, i feel that it depends on individual child. some child are easier to teach, dont need to spank, just say, scold, explain they all understand. but i'm sure most kids arent so easy to teach. spanking is more or less necessary needed in disciplinary i think. but never over-do it.

lik dear son, sometimes i will piak his palm but he is not scare at all, cos he dont really understand. but when he open/close the drawer, i dont hav to piak him at all. what i need to do is to turn around, look at him, and he will auto stop and sometimes will even cry. hello, i didnt even scold him but he starts to cry and move away. haha! as for other issues, he is really very playful. haha..

Wahh apollo mummy, your look is good enough....how I wish my son got tht kind of reaction :tlaugh:

 

[joycegian]

I always tell my son NO when he anyhow meddles with things & he will cry.
Everything must go his way.
Whatever we stop him or push him away, he will cry.

I always leave him one corner to cry until he keeps quiet. LOLS

Then my husband & MIL always say he still young, cannot lidat.

So now my son always likes to play with my husband & MIL, only know I am his caretaker/mother.
So he comes to me for comfort, but not for playing.

 

[lil'angle]

Me also facing same problem, my son keep crying ans shout at public now to attract ppl our attention.But he is only 1 year old, seem know nothing at all....What can i do?? Just leave him alone?but is it will make him felt unsecure and not believe ppl in future?

Mother from little angel

My Little Angel's Land

 

[Oppsgal]

Told baby No, dont touch many times. I think my baby do understand. But still want to do. After touching the things that not suppose to, baby will cry before I even notice anything. LOL...

Then I will go in, thought what happen to baby. In case fall down or what... but only see baby beside the things that not allow to play with like books torn up or things like that.

 

[cocraze]

I always tell my son NO when he anyhow meddles with things & he will cry.
Everything must go his way.
Whatever we stop him or push him away, he will cry.

I always leave him one corner to cry until he keeps quiet. LOLS

Then my husband & mother in law always say he still young, cannot lidat.

So now my son always likes to play with my husband & mother in law, only know I am his caretaker/mother.
So he comes to me for comfort, but not for playing.

Yah! Yah! Both my inlaws will say the same thing! Cos initially, I was so frustrated and dunoe-what-to-do-with-baby that I sometimes raise my voice at her. I think they say that "you angry with baby also no use, baby dont understand you", thinking that it will stop me from raising my voice when I'm frustrated at baby fussing/throwing tantrums. I mean, her fussing occurs like when she wakes up and wants her milk IMMEDIATELY. And by 'immediately', it means she will WAIL VERY LOUDLY, even to the extent of making her voice hoarse, if she doesn't get what she wants within a minute. How to cope like that???

Im caught in a dilemma sometimes. I do understand that baby DOES NOT KNOW WHAT Im talking about, but Im positive she understands the tone of voices that she hears, e.g. happy/comforting tones versus angry tones. Because sometimes I would say "No" in a stern tone of voice and she stops her fussing (for about 5 seconds or so).

So, as much as I would like to start 'training' my girl to wait and take "no" for an answer, its hard to do so when
a. we're living with (in my opinion) doting grandparents ;
b. I dont want her to cry too much and swallow too much wind, cos she's notorious for having colic problems and she's cries even more badly when she's got wind stuck in stomach (she can cry on-and-off for like 2 hours when that happens), or when she's got difficulty farting it out. We call her 'thin-skinned' cos she even cries in the latter situation. Sigh...

 

[leosmith678]

I am mother of a seven year old child. It was really very important to be strict and make the path of my son comprising of lovable discipline. So i started being stricted from childhood itself. Also i offered lot of love with discipline and strictness so my child is very much comfortable. Like water takes the shape of container and enjoy its settlements.

 

[pkshl]

now my boy has start throwing temper. when at home & i see him do it, i will slap & scold him. he cries. den throw temper again. den i carry him & talk to him nicely explained Y i scold him, he managed to calm down.

BUT at mil house, when he throw temper she gives in. she always says he's juz a baby, he so young he dun understand scold him also no use.

my hb juz tel him cannot do it again. like tat call discipline???how is he going to learn...angry....:nah:

worst, i saw the elder gal throw a pack of flashcards at my son. mil scold her den she cry endup she got to comfort the elder gal instead of my son. what is this!!!!???:nah: immediately i went to my son & loudly said R U OK? next time ur turn to hit jiejie hor!! i was so so angry!!!

i know its not right to teach him this way but im so mad!

 

[autumn82]

now my boy has start throwing temper. when at home & i see him do it, i will slap & scold him. he cries. then throw temper again. then i carry him & talk to him nicely explained Y i scold him, he managed to calm down.

BUT at mother in law house, when he throw temper she gives in. she always says he's just a baby, he so young he dont understand scold him also no use.

my husband just tel him cannot do it again. like that call discipline???how is he going to learn...angry....:nah:

worst, i saw the elder gal throw a pack of flashcards at my son. mother in law scold her then she cry endup she got to comfort the elder gal instead of my son. what is this!!!!???:nah: immediately i went to my son & loudly said R you OK? next time your turn to hit jiejie !! i was so so angry!!!

i know its not right to teach him this way but im so mad!

*pats* It's not easy.

Like to share on what I do when Iggy throw tantrums. I used to raise my voice, start yelling at him, asking him to stop, smack. But subsequently, it's "straining" for me to do that every time.

I started with the naughty corner thing whenever he does something wrong. Example, when he throw tantrums, I will give him warning 3x sternly to stop doing it coz it's wrong. When telling him, I will be at eye level telling him it is wrong to do it and please stop it now.

If he does continue his tantrums, I just move him to the naughty corner and put him there for 2mins (coz he's coming 2 yrs old). At 1st, he was still throwing tantrums & want to move away but I ignored him & place him back again ("reset" 2mins once again). Tell him to keep quiet else he will stay there longer.

After 2-3x, he gets the idea that if he does something naughty despite being warned, he will have to sit there and no one will bother abt him.

Of coz after the 2mins up, I will go over and hug and explain to him why mummy put him there.

I think this method works for me coz it calms both of us down when he "mess" up. Else I'll be like a mad woman lashing him. LOL.

Now when I warn him once, he will alert *beep*