Where are my rights???

[Fisherman's Friend]

I'm just so super pissed!! I'm staying with my mil and I'm really hating every moment with her around!! My 1st child is 21mths old and my 2nd is almost 3mths. Whenever I'm scolding my 1st when she did something wrong, mil will interfere. She will keep asking my girl to go to her then still offer her sweets etc. As a result, whenever I scold my ger she will go look for her. I already told mil that when I'm teaching her, dun interfere if not she will never learn. But she just won't listen!! I'm a SAHM now but I'm intending to go back workforce. I'm so scared when I'm back to wrk my ger will just get worse...coz of her I'm super angry n pissed!! Now my 2nd is still young buy I know she will do the same to her as well. I understand that she loves them but that's just not the correct way!!

Moving out is never gona come true coz she made it clr to hubby that she wana stick to him n being a filial son he won't leave her alone...Argh!!!

 

[MsKoh1973]

u can educate your girl inside your room and lock your door? Last time when I educate my girl, my sister and father also used to interfer. I never open the door no matter what they said, so my girl knows, nobody can protect her forever, cos I can still lock her up in the room with me, and she can never get away.

 

[Renzie]

Yup, whenever your girl does something wrong, bring her into your room lock it and then educate her inside. That way your MIL can't rush in if she wants to. Ask your husband to have a talk with your MIL as well, it might help.

If your daughter go to her grandmother while you are scolding her, just pick her up and go into the room. Sometimes my in laws will do things that I disapprove of, during those time, I'll just take DD away and bring her to another place where both of us can be alone.

 

[AugBoyz]

simple lah, I said this while I was scolding my monster "You do not think that grandma will be here to save or give u sweets later (in ur case). If i see you taking sweets from her I will punish u more!" Say loud enough for ur MIL to hear kekeke~ tts how i deal with mine :001_302:

 

[Ting]

i do the same as AB when pin looks out for my parents when im scolding her. haha. i tell her: "dont have to look at your gong gong n mah mah, nobody can save u. who save u, i piak who!" haha then all of them will SIAM far far n keep quiet when i scold her. =X

 

[Renzie]

OoOOo good idea! will save these ideas for later use!

 

[Fisherman's Friend]

I also brought my ger to one side but after that my mil will give her treats thinking I cun see lor...I told her alot of times le I still purposely scold my ger when I know she is eating the treats mil gave but she still continue!! And she dun look at time to give de, even when it's near dinner time she still give, as a result my ger got no appetite to eat dinner.. Then mil will keep nagging say aiyo, y dun eat rice? I got pek cek n said coz u gave her rubbish that's y lor

 

[raeka]

Is so difficult when a mil or mum with us.
We must be firm educate them one to one , if not we difficult to educate them..
Hope ur MIL will cooperate with u soon..
As ur hubby's have a chat w her .

All mummy jiayou ! Me too whenever my mil or mum come a lot of problem..

 

[Renzie]

Actually with my mom still ok, because they are our mothers, it's easier to say or correct or scold them. But with MILs, its abit harder. Hence I usually leave hubby to talk to his mom.

I find it easier to communicate with my mom because she wouldn't go "last time last time." Also she tends to listen to me when I say this cannot and that cannot. Whereas with in laws, plus hubby's grandmother, they sometimes act like they know everything because of last time, and ignore us when we say no cannot! Best part is when hubby's younger sister anyhow feed DD prawn crackers and MIL just stand there and laugh.

 

[meiteoh]

Actually with my mom still ok, because they are our mothers, it's easier to say or correct or scold them. But with MILs, its abit harder. Hence I usually leave hubby to talk to his mom.

Yes, that's a better approach. My hubby and I have this practice - your mum, you tackle, my mum, I tackle.

When I was in France, my mum in law would make the habit of ending mealtimes early whenever my daughter throws a tantrum. At first, we let it be but I started to get really annoyed coz I'd be disciplining her halfway and my mum in law would just come and take my daughter out of the high chair. After I talk to my hubby, he started to step in and stop her. What helps is that my stepfather in law would do the same as well - try to stop her and tell my mum in law to sit down and leave my daughter alone! XD

 

[megtan]

I'm super pissed with my MIL! She's really getting on my nerves these days!

Just now when we were having reunion dinner at her place, dear son threw tantrum, refused to eat and started crying. I told my MIL to leave him alone. But MIL still carried him and tried to pacify him and sayang him! Then, let him sit on her lap to feed him. Like that how I discipline my son? He'll grow up thinking that he can always run to his grandma whenever mummy disciplines him. When he doesn't want to drink water, she'll feed him using spoon. Like that how to train him to drink from cup? He can actually drink quite well from cup, beaker, straw mug already. He's now learning to walk, when I hold his hands to walk, she'll get worried and say no need to hurry and start to carry him. Like that how to train him to walk?

I told my hubby, next time she does all these again, I'll just carry him and walk off. Period. And if she pisses me further, she'll never get to see her grandson again!

Am I very mean?

 

[keefu]

I'm super pissed with my MIL! She's really getting on my nerves these days!

Just now when we were having reunion dinner at her place, dear son threw tantrum, refused to eat and started crying. I told my MIL to leave him alone. But MIL still carried him and tried to pacify him and sayang him! Then, let him sit on her lap to feed him. Like that how I discipline my son? He'll grow up thinking that he can always run to his grandma whenever mummy disciplines him. When he doesn't want to drink water, she'll feed him using spoon. Like that how to train him to drink from cup? He can actually drink quite well from cup, beaker, straw mug already. He's now learning to walk, when I hold his hands to walk, she'll get worried and say no need to hurry and start to carry him. Like that how to train him to walk?

I told my hubby, next time she does all these again, I'll just carry him and walk off. Period. And if she pisses me further, she'll never get to see her grandson again!

Am I very mean?

Does this happens every time or just on the reunion dinner only?

 

[megtan]

We seldom dine at her place so not sure. Usually we just leave dear son at her place during weekend and pick him up either in the evening or next day.

But I notice this habit of hers when we dine out. She has another grandson who is a picky eater too. Everytime our families dine out, he'll just eat a few mouth then ran off to play. His parents would just let him be (something that I don't really like but don't want to comment since it's their business not mine). The grandma would chase out to jaga him and thus never eat lor. I always think that if want to do that, might as well you stat home look after the kid, what for go out and eat?

Anyway, once we dine out when dear son was a few months old, when he started fussing, she just took him and walked out of the restaurant for a walk, my hubby quickly called her back and we pacified dear son at the table instead. Nowadays whenever dear son fusses when we dine out together, she'll always attempt to stand up and try to take over. Hubby will always ask her to sit down. There was once when dear son was kicking up a fuss when we tried to feed him, she told us, let me do it, you don't know how. I was so pissed! I told her in the face, it's not that, he's just being a picky eater.

Yesterday when I scolded dear son for not eating, he went straight to his grandma for help! And coz at her place she just took over. In the end, she didn't eat until we finished. What sort of reunion dinner is this? I told her, let dear son sit down & we will manage him, she just ignored. When we dine out, we always try to manage him at the table.

For me I have a strong belief that when dining, everyone must stay at the dining table. Else what for dine together? And I want to inculcate in dear son this since young, so that he won't run off to play when everyone is eating.

 

[CherryFrozz]

We seldom dine at her place so not sure. Usually we just leave dear son at her place during weekend and pick him up either in the evening or next day.

But I notice this habit of hers when we dine out. She has another grandson who is a picky eater too. Everytime our families dine out, he'll just eat a few mouth then ran off to play. His parents would just let him be (something that I don't really like but don't want to comment since it's their business not mine). The grandma would chase out to jaga him and thus never eat lor. I always think that if want to do that, might as well you stat home look after the kid, what for go out and eat?

Anyway, once we dine out when dear son was a few months old, when he started fussing, she just took him and walked out of the restaurant for a walk, my hubby quickly called her back and we pacified dear son at the table instead. Nowadays whenever dear son fusses when we dine out together, she'll always attempt to stand up and try to take over. Hubby will always ask her to sit down. There was once when dear son was kicking up a fuss when we tried to feed him, she told us, let me do it, you don't know how. I was so pissed! I told her in the face, it's not that, he's just being a picky eater.

Yesterday when I scolded dear son for not eating, he went straight to his grandma for help! And coz at her place she just took over. In the end, she didn't eat until we finished. What sort of reunion dinner is this? I told her, let dear son sit down & we will manage him, she just ignored. When we dine out, we always try to manage him at the table.

For me I have a strong belief that when dining, everyone must stay at the dining table. Else what for dine together? And I want to inculcate in dear son this since young, so that he won't run off to play when everyone is eating.

Haa... you are not alone.... My MIL same... feed my son during reunion dinner... then the little one starts to fuss (he usually does coz he wanna play etc).. then MIL will say stop lah... dun feed. He FULL liao.... like that still never mind... she actually go & carry him off! Majorly pissed...
Then still nevermind... coz she suddenly grab him stand up, little one's legs frail then hit the spoon which went flying off on my pants then the floor. No apologies no nothing... I say "now no need feed liao.. spoon already dropped". She says"Oh Izzit? haha!" LIke it's so damn funny then carries son off to show off to relatives...Arghhhhh!!!

 

[jasyeo80]

Haa... you are not alone.... My mother in law same... feed my son during reunion dinner... then the little one starts to fuss (he usually does coz he wanna play etc).. then mother in law will say stop ... dont feed. He FULL .... like that still never mind... she actually go & carry him off! Majorly pissed...
Then still nevermind... coz she suddenly grab him stand up, little one's legs frail then hit the spoon which went flying off on my pants then the floor. No apologies no nothing... I say "now no need feed .. spoon already dropped". She says"Oh Izzit? haha!" LIke it's so damn funny then carries son off to show off to relatives...Arghhhhh!!!

Mine is my father, don know why my ger refuse to have her dinner, sometime eat a few mouth, she will stop and refused open her mouth. then whenever i tried to feed her, she will start crying, then ah gong will come n carry her away, there was one time i was pissed off, he want to carry her away, saying her full, don want to eat, then don force, damn pissed off when he said that, so i snatch my ger back, made her sit down to eat n told my father, she didn't eat one mouth, where got full. so many times, say she don want to eat, don force, then up feed her all those tibits, then when she start coughing, saying we never boiled herbal tea for her to drink, was thinking, u don feed her those heaty thing, she also won be coughing. whenever he do /say those things, i will ask back y last ime, u don treat me this way, when i say i don want to eat, u still force me to finish my food.
also whenever i scold my ger, my sis/mother will come to recuse her, reason it late, don let her cry too much, if not wait will have nightmare, but i won't let them get their way, i will carry her away, tell her no one can recuse u. don want her to have the habit, so now whenever i scold her, she will not go find ah ma or whoever, cos she know they can't recuse her.

 

[pillowhugger01]

my MIL used to be like this too.. my girl (5-6months old then) was touching the computer wires and i scolded her loudly.. MIL became bu shuang and told me not to scold my girl, she complained to hubby about this matter and hubby told her that i did the right thing since the wires contain electricity and me being my girl's mum should educate her.. wow i tell you, MIL face became black for many days..

 

[kujiramama]

OMG~~! Why are most of the mils the same?? Hahaha. I am so glad that I became a SAHM so that no one(except my mum) can teach me how to take care of my daughter.

Whenever my mil feed DD(when she is NB) and she couldn't finish her milk on time(bb sometimes drink very slow), mil will get impatient and declared to me that DD had had enough milk. Then, on our 1st visit to the PD, I asked her how come DD's urine so yellow? And PD said that DD is not drinking enough milk! WTH... I complained to my HB and told him not to let mil feed DD again. So now, DD is 7 mths and had been in my care ever since. And whenever mil tries to say anything about how to prepare food for DD and the like, I just switch off. Cos she herself had never taken care of her own children when they were babies! What does she know??? Nothing!! (Ok, I had a really bad episode about her during confinement period, hence...)

If I were in your situation, I would pretend not to hear anything mil said and continue to discipline my child. You got it, MY child, not MIL's child. And I always nag at HB when such things happen. Not good for our relationship but at least HB will talk to mil, but no use one lah.

Hold on to your rights!! You have them as YOU are the MOTHER of your child! Go for it! Jiayou!!!:wong4:

 

[kujiramama]

I told my hubby, next time she does all these again, I'll just carry him and walk off. Period. And if she pisses me further, she'll never get to see her grandson again!

Am I very mean?

Er, I support you loh!!! Hahaha~ Cos I also got the same thoughts