Working mum, can you cope with your work and family?

jammowifey

New Member
Hmm, frankly, I dont know if iI truly love the job I'm doing too?

There have been times i'm so fed up I break down and cry and hug my daughter to sleep. But then I think of the financial stability it brings to my family and I just recover from that breakdown and continue with the job.

I guess my need is greater than the dislike for the job, so I just stick to it?

I'm sure stat board will have some opportuinities to upgrade your skills. I think its more worthwhile to get into a job, and then go for courses that are in line with the job. But thats just my personal view.

recently i wish to look for job again, i wish to go back to work but i dont know what job can i find i only have o level but english fail and ite certs but i am not interested in office jobs at all last time worked for 2 years at statutory board and was very unhappy so dont wish to go back to office environment again
 
my hubby and mil is asking me to go back to work so i intend to look for a part time helper to look after my girl at night prepare her dinner and fetch her from cc while i go to work part time. when my girl is comfortable with the helper, then i convert to full time job. cause last time no helper while i was working, i keep taking urgent leave when my girl is sick or her cc centre close on monday for teacher training etc. so end up i was retrenched before my probation is up. now i intend to go back to work while looking for a helper to help me before i go back to work... anyone knows where can get such a helper and how much it cost ? for three times a week and ad hoc when my girl is sick sometimes... i got to go back to work cause hubby dont support of my online business and my mil keep badmouthing to my hubby that i am not a good wife while looking after my girl for the past five years... so i think it is better i go back to work part time and doing my online business for part time for the time being... btw i am looking for a job that allows me to work from 9am to 5pm is there such job beside office job ? and i have not been working for the past five years looking after my girl after my girl is born so what should i put in my resume ? any advice ...Now got so many problems to solve really headache
 

JuliaKT

Member
wow.. I salute all the mothers who struggle to have work life balance. Right now, I'm in the middle of chaotic situation when my maids suddenly insisted to go back and there is no one to take care of my baby. Meanwhile waiting for the maid agency to replace a new maid, i am looking for the infant care to send my daughter. But most of the infant care centers nearby my house are fully booked.

I don't want to get another maid as it is really risky to left my baby a lone with the maid. So only the infant care is the option for me now.. But since everywhere is fully booked, I was very upset what to do next. The boss also giving me more and more projects and I found myself that I couldn't cope with the job.

Many times, I wanted to quit the job but I don't want to burden my hubby. Even though we could be able to stand with one person's income, my mom suggests me to find and save more money for the baby's future. I also find it's true.

I don't know what to do right now becoz of too many things happening at the same time.. But reading these posts give me some encouragement.. Thanks mummies :)
 

darialim

New Member
i can barely cope, work long hours to earn $$ so can pay off mortgage and childcare fees. wish i can be stay at home mum, but cannot afford.

no work life balance, just tahan and deal with it.

at least better than my mum, i have career goals and got increment every year. she worked as a cleaner for dont know how many donkey years and her pay is forever less than $1000, but can still bring us up and finance her hdb.

so when i think of her, i dont't feel so bad
 

JuliaKT

Member
i can barely cope, work long hours to earn $$ so can pay off mortgage and childcare fees. wish i can be stay at home mum, but cannot afford.

no work life balance, just tahan and deal with it.

at least better than my mum, i have career goals and got increment every year. she worked as a cleaner for dont know how many donkey years and her pay is forever less than $1000, but can still bring us up and finance her hdb.

so when i think of her, i dont't feel so bad
Hi Darialim.

you are right. I sometimes look back of my mom's life on how she struggled through to bring us up and I don't feel bad that much .... that's what make me keep going on too. :) Thanks for sharing..
 

Janvier

Member
wow.. I salute all the mothers who struggle to have work life balance. Right now, I'm in the middle of chaotic situation when my maids suddenly insisted to go back and there is no one to take care of my baby. Meanwhile waiting for the maid agency to replace a new maid, i am looking for the infant care to send my daughter. But most of the infant care centers nearby my house are fully booked.

I dont't want to get another maid as it is really risky to left my baby a lone with the maid. So only the infant care is the option for me now.. But since everywhere is fully booked, I was very upset what to do next. The boss also giving me more and more projects and I found myself that I couldn't cope with the job.

Many times, I wanted to quit the job but I dont't want to burden my hubby. Even though we could be able to stand with one person's income, my mom suggests me to find and save more money for the baby's future. I also find it's true.

I dont't know what to do right now becoz of too many things happening at the same time.. But reading these posts give me some encouragement.. Thanks mummies :)
I'm facing the same situation too :( my maid just told me that she's going back in June for her family issues~but good thing is my son is going into childcare in July...so we may ask parents to help out for 3 weeks (mid Jun to Jul)... don't think I can find place in IFC within this short period too..

Moving on we were thinking of not hiring anymore maids actually...but I'm not sure if I can cope with 2 kids when my hubby goes overseas for months *sigh*

Without maid, I think can save quite alot :\
 
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JuliaKT

Member
I'm facing the same situation too :( my maid just told me that she's going back in June for her family issues~but good thing is my son is going into childcare in July...so we may ask parents to help out for 3 weeks (mid Jun to Jul)... dont't think I can find place in IFC within this short period too..

Moving on we were thinking of not hiring anymore maids actually...but I'm not sure if I can cope with 2 kids when my hubby goes overseas for months *sigh*

Without maid, I think can save quite alot :\
With 2 kids, i think you will need a maid to help around. But thank God you already have the childcare center.. Nowadays, it's not easy to find the childcare near the house and also need to book very early.
:( I need to book for my baby so that she can enters when she is 18 months.. sigh..
 

Janvier

Member
Yeaps..my friend also suggested that I hire a maid to help out first until they settle down in childcare...

Totally agree on the childcare...better register as early as you can. Wanted to enrol my son when he's 2 yrs old although the sister is inside already, but the teacher told us that the waiting list is very full...therefore my son need to go in at exactly 18 months~otherwise got to queue up again.. :\
 
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June2012

Member
reading this thread has given me encourgaement to 'bite the bullet' and go on.

I am a full-time working mother with 9 months old baby girl. I can't quit cos hubby's need to care for his elderly mother who needs medical attention, which can be quite costly. Thank God I found a reliable maid and helped with my household stuff. But I am still hesitating whether to have a 2nd baby.

Work wise, no increment, bonus was cut due to ML. But I don't give a damn about work anymore, just work and leave on the dot. Monthly salary just to bring home the bread.

I wonder how some working mothers could work hard and still get promoted at work?
 

flyaway

Member
I am in a love hate relationship with my work. I love some aspects and hate others aspecs as well. I hate even more when I need to work ot every now and then and bringing my laptop back on weekends. Sometimes I work 6 days a week or 7 days if there are ugent things to rush.

My boss is a workaholic and doesnt advocate work life balance. She do give me good increment and career opportunity to grow but I just think that on the expenses of working up to 14 hrs a day is insane and I have no time for my kids.

Hubby think its my mindset. Not positive enough to counter cos I always have thoughts of resigning.

Should I stay on?
 

KOOLMUM

Member
I am in a love hate relationship with my work. I love some aspects and hate others aspecs as well. I hate even more when I need to work ot every now and then and bringing my laptop back on weekends. Sometimes I work 6 days a week or 7 days if there are ugent things to rush.

My boss is a workaholic and doesnt advocate work life balance. She do give me good increment and career opportunity to grow but I just think that on the expenses of working up to 14 hours a day is insane and I have no time for my kids.

Hubby think its my mindset. Not positive enough to counter cos I always have thoughts of resigning.

Should I stay on?

Hi

Your job sounds very much like one of my previous jobs which I stayed for only 1 year. Long gruelling hours, except that I didnt need to work on weekends. Career opportunity was quite good also but I did not want to lose family time just because of my career. Five days a week, I reached home, showered & went to bed, didnt have much time to chat with hubby (that time no kids yet). Even when he initated a conversation, I would cut him off.
It was totally unhealthy......

Not sure if you really need such a demanding job, but my advice is you should put your family first. End of day, it is only your family who will stand by you, if anything happens, e.g. fall sick.....company won't care, you quit, they find another replacement....BUT if you lose your family (i.e. less bonding), you may never repair the "broken" bond.

Have a talk with your husband, financially if you don't need a high-pay job to sustain a certain standard of lifestyle, then consider switching to doing something less demanding, regular hours, more worklife balance.

Hope my above points sound reasonable, do update me when you have achieved worklife balance. :weyes:
 

Janvier

Member
reading this thread has given me encourgaement to 'bite the bullet' and go on.

I am a full-time working mother with 9 months old baby girl. I can't quit cos hubby's need to care for his elderly mother who needs medical attention, which can be quite costly. Thank God I found a reliable maid and helped with my household stuff. But I am still hesitating whether to have a 2nd baby.

Work wise, no increment, bonus was cut due to ML. But I don't give a damn about work anymore, just work and leave on the dot. Monthly salary just to bring home the bread.

I wonder how some working mothers could work hard and still get promoted at work?
Agreed with you...sometimes i wonder about that too.. :\
My RO shows me a list of "requirements" to meet in order to "fight" for promotion...the lists just gets longer~ =.=!!

I'm already thinking of switching to part time work cuz of maid problems and expanding jobscope -,-~
 
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pipilili

Member
I am a mother of 2, just delivered #2.
Honestly I am quite afraid of going back to work because I am afraid I cannot cope with the demands of 2 kids(3 YO and 1MO) and work.
I do have a maid but she is v young and I dun really trust she can handle 2 kids when I cannot.
My hubby's job requires more demanding hrs from him so I try not to disturb his sleep at night.

Firstly, my work requires me to work long hrs...9am - 7pm (luxury), 9am - 8pm/9pm (normal) for me.

Secondly, my #1 wants to see both parents before she goes to bed so we have to try to rush bk home and play a little with her before putting her into bed. Honeslty, by the time she doze off, it's easily 1130pm...very unhealthy. With #2, #1 is getting v cranky and insecure. Now I am hoping I can drag #1 up by 7am and send both of them to my parent's pl before I take public transport to work by 8am. Imagine how tired I will be trying to rush both of them to my parent's pl then rush to work....then finish work, rush hm.

Thirdly, I am soooo overdue for promotion and I know my boss will want me to clock more overtime in order to give the promo to me. So sianz....I have thoughts abt getting a new job (earn 10% increment) and move on. But I am worried the new pl will demand more time from me. And plus new pl means new colleagues, new systems, etc...


Fourthly, I cannot imagine how I can work properly if every night I got to wake up and give bb night feeds and also check on my toddler to make sure she has her blanket on. *feeling so stressed up*

How do mommies manage a toddler and bb after returning to work. I am a worry wart, Pls share with me.
 

5mummy

Member
I can cope but it's difficult esp when I have a blog to maintain too. I do plan to be a SAHM when my child turns one and starts to be more receptive to learning.... I haven't really decided my child's age at which I would be a SAHM. He's important to me and I feel so bad that I miss out on all his milestones
 
Hi Ah Pei

I believe all working mummies face the same problem, but not me anymore after I joined Unilever Network.
Do pm me for more details, no obligations,

Cheers
Linda Chan - 96989938
 

momolingyee

New Member
hello, everybody, how do you all you cope with your work & family the same time ?

married 8 years, 3 daughter, 5, 4 & 6 months +++. I'm working as admin & he working as salesman.

my job seems like never end, office work, house work, once a while do some part time job to support my family.

then also, night "OT" with him, lately seldom, need to take care my 6 months old baby girl.

any advice from you all experience working mummies too.
 

JoycexN

New Member
Hi momo,

It's truly understandable your situation especially your children are so young.

Why don't take up a career which not only enable you to manage your own working hours but also have free time with your kiddies and husband?

Best of all, you can earn twice to triple times of your present monthly salary!

Don't hesitate..make a move for the new 2015 :tlaugh:

Feel free to drop me a pm or email @ ngjoycex@hotmail.com
 

pipilili

Member
I finally changed job just to get some monetary increment....I thought lift would be better with more $$$$.

I think it's a bad move for a couple to change job at the same time. My husband and I changed job around the same time, and now both of us got to meet with the demands of our new job/role. He got to fly more often now and luckily for me, I insist I finish my job at 6pm daily with my current colleagues. Thankfully my colleague is understanding.

I am not sure if anyone else feel like me, I feel that the job nowadays demand us to operate a 2-3 person's worth of work. My role requires me to fulfill my daily duties (ie: clear some system stuff, etc) and take on projects. I am handling 2 projects now on top of BAU stuff in my new role. Both projects are BIG projects, meaning it will change the whole firm's system globally.

Why have our workforce system become so cost centric. We are saving 1-2 ppl's salary and adding pressure to the current pool of people. Decades back, women rather quit their job and take care of their children. Seriously, the current pool of women can also do that. If that happens, the whole economy will be dragged down. I feel that dollars and cents have become such BIG concern with companies who wants to shows productivity, volume, revenue against cost. (It has start to become out of the equation)

What are they trying to drive Singaporeans towards? They are driving to drive us towards a unhealthy lifestyle and I am not surprised more ppl will get depression, ill, etc. One of my colleague husband got so stressed up at a workpl in Raffles Pl, he resigned without a job. He is the father, breadwinner of a family but why does he do that? He was throwing tempers at the kids and wife(colleague). The only reason is because he is work stressed. Another friend of mine got sick easily because she was stressed up at work. It was so serious that she started losing weight rapidly. This needs to change. Singaporeans need to have a much balanced life.

It's not that Singaporeans do not work hard, in fact we work very hard. We got to bring kids to childcare, infant care or parent's pl in the morning and then shuttle kids home after work, meet the demands of the workforce, meet the duty of wife/husband, pay our bills monthly, put food on the table....We are a bunch of worker ants! But are we really happy? Are we stressed up? Are we healthy? Who has asked us these questions or who have shown us the demographics/stats of ppl seeking various treatment at hospitals.

Family time is usually at night, about 1-2 hr or weekends. Weekends is also subjected to whether the children are tired or not, or anyone in the family is sick or not, or any other family celebration, etc.

As for me, sometimes I just feel if I need to quit, I will just quit from the workforce. The most I will stay in my HDB forever, travel only to Msia, eat home cooked food...What I value at my age now (30 plus) is my health, my family....so long as there is some income to pay the bills, I think we can also be happy with LESS. Health is our greatest WEALTH! To be able to grow up with our children is the most valuable an enjoyable thing!! I hope other mommies think like me too :)


Sorry to grumble so much and thanks for those who took time to read.
 
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