Working mum, can you cope with your work and family?

newbiemummy

New Member
hi everyone, just thought i contribute to this thread. I am very fortunate to have a great flying career that pays well, however seems to me that my boss isnt very excited about my pregnancy, I am due in June/July and I have done everything i can to make sure that the transition is smooth, i've informed my bosses just before my third month they were ok. but recently, i have been getting snide comments that "being pregnant means I cant work as well", "i am fat" etc. i am startin to feel the anger boiling and try to curb it cos i know its no good for my baby. I am afraid I might snap soon. However, I refuse to quit cos a) it pays well and b) i have been a good employee.
Just thought i share my story and hope that no mummies have to go through the same discrimination as me.
 

MsKoh1973

Member
I used to have maid to help out, but maid quitted after I become SAHM for one month. Anyway, I quit not becos I can't cope with my work and family, I quit cos I hated my job, was in frontline, always meet d suay pp, still must smile at them, buay tahan.
 

pipilili

Member
I plan to return to work force after #1. Many ppl told me that I will soon become a SAHM, but I am really not sure yet. Maybe I will eventually.

I enjoy working but I hate my working hrs....I start work at 8-ish am and can finsih b/w 7pm-10pm. It's pretty sad that the mgmt is not even doing anything to improve work life balance....They always say you can go off, after seeking ur mgr's approval!! Hiah...might as well dun say. Gah-ment also dun implement a rule to help ppl like us....I guess many corp working adults (mums esp) are like me....stuck in b/w.


If there is something else which allow me to manage my own time and earn extra cash - I really dun mind switching jobs.
 

woofy55

Member
Any mummies working in MLM here?

Actually there's nothing really wrong with MLM so long you dont't go and harass people and make ppl buy those that they dont't need. If the product is of use to me, I really dont't mind using it and later on share with others.

I am in MLM myself and I see a lot of professional people in it and making good living. Of course, there's NOOOO quick cash about it (if someone guarantee you quick cash, then you better be careful - cos it's scam). You need to network, you still need to put in effort. But it's a long term career... think of long term, dont't give up, you will see the fruits of your labour. And having financial and time freedom. No more bosses, no more waste time meetings... The meet up will be joyful cos you know you are sharing happily and making money for future. Also get incentive trips, and bring along your hubby and children.

And if you buy something that will benefit you, why not? I am trimmed down from 63kg to 56kg and my shape is nicer compared to exercising, even though everyone says exercise and diet is impt. But it doesn't make my shape nicer. Exercise unfortunately made me muscular and wear clothes will look like somo wrestler. So I'm happily sharing what I benefitted and those I shared with enjoyed the benefit as well even though they just wanna be users. Fine too~

Personally I find MLM is okay - just dont't go around harass people to buy it. And it's the fastest profession coming up. Many years ago.. insurance are also not agreeable by people.. but see how many people benefit from it.

If you wanted to try, but there's no one around you doing that and you dont't mind exploring.. let me know. The company i am is one of the most reputable company from US and we have good training team which won't leave you in lurch.

If you are shy, add me in msn to chat: woofy55@hotmail.com. or email me at shirsoh@gmail.com.
 
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BunnyKiss

Member
Hated the facts that no matter how hardworking I am, my destiny is still in my boss' hand. That once a year assessment. What if during the period, boss' mood no good, then I have to wait for another year?

Eventually it's job security that pushes me to explore other business opportunity. But I'm just a mediocre person with no extra talent, not to mention I am not willing to pump in big capital taking risk. So what can I do? After reading Rich Dad Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki, I decided I want a change. Most important of all, I want time freedom

After some assessments, I decided to join this MLM business. The company is rock solid, no debt and store plenty of cash; products are of excellent quality; DUN & Bradstreet 5A1 rating; top 40 best employers. I started out as a consumer, love the product and very comfy with the people and culture there as they dont hardsell, cheat or whatever action that spoils the company name. So I started out part time. Indeed it's not an easy task.

I am happy to build my career in helping other people improve their health. This business helps to create awareness that high fat high risk to chronic disease. And it's all worth the hard work. In this business it's an curve growth, starting very difficult, getting easier and easier, due to leveraging.

If this business is just about hard work and persistency, hey, i think i can do it. After all, if everyone were to be in this industry then it's probably too crowded and left me no chance. In anything we do, there's a 20-80 rule, only the 20% of the people will be successful...and i want to be in this category and yet not losing my integrity and love for helping people..
 
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shopaholic

Member
I hv 3 kids and no live-in maid, and yes, I'm still coping. I'm lucky that I hv supportive inlaws, hubby who is very hands-on with the kids and a work environment which promotes work-life balance. I wont say it's easy, there are challenges of course, but we learn to take things easy and make do.

At home, hubby and myself split the housework and if the kids need more of our time to help with their schoolwork, we may not do certain housework which can wait, such as doing laundry on another day, just so we can hv more time to spend with the kids. On weekends, we engaged a weekend helper to help with major chores such as ironing, mopping and cleaning the bathrooms. With that, we sort of managed and still hv some personal time for ourselves.

Just to share, when I look for a job, I always feel it's important to look for an organisation which promotes work-life balance. But of course, for many, you dont know the actual situation until you're in it! Hence, I keep an open mind and actively evaluate the work situation. I hv left a company where I worked until 10pm frequently and I decided to leave after 4mths. Thereafter, I'm lucky that I landed with an organisation which is very pro-family. Yes, there are occasions where I stayed behind to ensure work is done but more frequently, I am able to knock off on time. I am realistic and count myself lucky to work for this organisation.

Given your situation, how about speaking to your company if they hv flexi work arrangements? Such as telecommute which allows you to work from home on some days or part-time work arrangements? Otherwise, if work is encroaching into family time, I will seriously consider changing job. But that's just me, of course. I believe you can improve things if you make an effort to do so. Good luck.
 

keiramok

New Member
i try my best to do my best for both. it may be hard, but i find content and fulfillment in every single task i accomplish.

to prove to the subordinates and bosses that family commitment will not hinder work, i became more sharp and alert at work, ensuring that i complete my duties more efficiently than when i didn't have a child.

similarly, of course i won't neglect my girl. i think one really plus point was having a really understanding husband and family, who willl share the sweet burden with you.

there are times i feel frustrated and impatient. but i will remind myself, i have to feel gratified for all the bliss i am showered upon- a good boss, an enjoyable job as well as such a loving family. with that in mind, no matter how much hardship you have to endure it's all worth it :)

a positive mindset, that is. oh, not forgetting to exercise! keeps your figure slim and helps you to relax. i enjoy my yoga sessions every week, helps to take worries off my mind :)
 

Jofeny

Member
Salute to all working mothers!!

I really have no idea how you girls can go thru the whole pregnancy when you are working.. let alone balancing between work and family + housework. To me, you are really a superwoman! When i after work, all i want to do is pure shopping, watch tv quietly for the next 3 hrs and jus sleep..

ever since i started to work, i have been saving cos i dun really want to work thru my pregnancy till my baby is 1 year old.. I have seen how my mum vomiting every single grain of rice she ate every meal.. I jus cant imagine myself getting the morning sickness and packed in a sardine train.. i can only visualise myself fainting and not wanting to board the train... of cos that will sound stupid cos forsaking the 4 months of paid maternity leave.. but i really think i cant make it.. i cant convince myself...

All working mummies, you are really my hero! SALUTE SALUTE SALUTE!!
 

lsy

Active Member
Everyone know it aint easy to get a trustworthy and reliable maid. I couldnt imagine leaving my baby with a maid at home with no one else watching them. So I have enrolled my baby in infant care. To those who have parents or in-law support, you are blessed too. (Provided your in-law not giving you trouble...NATO in-law who only know how to dirty the house is adding more things to your to-do list)

In Singapore ,not every husband can earn enough to support the household. Like a mummy posted above, it is also not surprising that many females nowadays are earning more than their partner.
So for those being able to have the option to be a SAHM without financial worries, you are the blessed ones.

My baby sleeps early usually at 8pm or if she misses her evening nap in infant care she can even fall asleep once reach home (6.30pm) all the way until next morning we wake her up at 6.30am. Of course there will be couple of night feeds in between.
Im just glad my work place is near my house and i can knock off at 5.30pm sharp. Travelling by public transport is the one that are making us more tired.
I have an easily distracted baby so she couldnt drink well in infant care.Dont know how many litres of my breastmilk has gone down the drain. So I prefer to rush to pick her up and take over her evening feed.

I salute those mummies who have more than 1 child, really need to read more in mummysg to understand what are their tips to cope with their daily chores. 1 child alone already taken up most of my time. I'm still reading up for tips on how to prepare healthy dinner for my baby. So far im keeping her under 2 solid feeding in infant care. Need to start dinner for her soon when she starts to sleep later.

Enjoying each day with my girl no matter how tired because this stage will pass :)
 

lsy

Active Member
This thread was started since 2010, i wonder how are mummies who have posted in 2010 now since your baby have grown up to age 2-3 now?
Can share some advise or tips?
 

cn211279

New Member
I'm one of the lucky ones who is able to have the option of depending on just my husband's income. Of course, we all have to tighten our belts but it is manageable.
My son is now 3 and hence more independent but I'm having another along the way.
What I have learnt from my experience with my first one is not to try to be a supermum.... Before, I want to work, spend time with my son, have a clean house and not have a maid..... Then i realised that I can't accomplish all that. Something has to give, I was unhappy because I was too stressed and it is affecting everyone in my family... and my health
My husband forced me to sit down and think of what is really important to me and he will support me accordingly. Hence, I decided to get a part-time maid to help clean the house, quit my stressful job with inconsiderate boss, switch to part-time teaching instead. But I have also made the decision to go back full-time once my son goes into childcare when 18 mths, which I did.
However, my criteria for my job search was much more stringent this time round. I only applied for jobs where the office is near my workplace so that my transit time is shorter, I stated upfront during interviews that I don't mind working overtime occasionally when required but I need to be home punctually at most times because I'm the main caregiver for my son and need to pick him up from childcare. It took me some time before I found a job but I have to say that I'm happy where I am now.
Of course, with the second one on the way, I foresee even less time n more stress. But I think I know myself better now and is not afraid to say that I need help. I'm currently sourcing for a maid as I think I will need an extra pair of hands to help cope with 2 kids and enlisting my mum's help to be on standby if necessary. I firmly believe in roping in your husband for help with the children. first it helps to build the bond b/w father n child, it also helps the relationship b/w husband n wife. And most importantly the child does not only belong to mummy....
I really salute those mums who are able to balance work and family without help. And those mums who need to work because the family really depends on them to bring in the income.
 

jammowifey

New Member
Lol, didnt realise this thread was still active after almost 2 years.

My girl is now 2, healthy, pretty and with a very strong character of her own. Definitely nth to complain about or wish I had done anything differently raising her to this age.

I went through my first appraisal last year end, and as expected I didnt do as well as other young, single colleagues (have a few good friends and we like to chat cos we joined at the same time). Last year, I cleared my CCL, took loads of MC after clearing my CCL to care for my girl even if it was a slight flu. And I was always the first to leave the office, either on the dot or very close after.

Like cn811879, I think it really impt that we dont stress ourselves out too much trying to be supermums. I dont have a maid, my parents and in laws are not able to help with my girl except on weekends, I'm working a full time job and am the main caregiver for my girl after I pick her from childcare, so some standards definitely have to be lowered.

Sweep,mop,clean,scrub,iron clothes less often.
Pile up laundry to full load. Get hb to help with some chores like laundry (easier stuff that men can understand!).
If you find yourself at breaking point, stop all the work, cool down, talk to hb,family,friends.
Speak to colleagues,superiors about your family commitment, there will be someone who understands and empathise with.
 

PrincessAriel

New Member
2008 1st baby
2010 2nd baby
2011 3rd baby.
Maid sacked in 2010 Dec. Have been surviving without maid for one year plus. On top of that have a hectic work schedule- lots of project and industrial attachment.
Luckily have a supportive husband and parents in law, good childcare centers (though for occasional breakout of HFMD-common)
I have a bi weekly cleaner to help out.
Going back to work this coming week. With no.3 in place now, I won't know whether I can cope like I used to have 2 +pregnant that time.
 
Hello

I am so glad u all can find a balance in life and work. I have been looking for a job for the past 1 year. but either is the boss dont want to hire me or the working timing affects my family life

i now really dont know what to do we need the extra income, but my hubby can't stand when i am working and the clothes are put on the sofa unfold for a few days cause when i am working i come back will watch tv, eat dinner play with my girl and take care of her then i will sleep so normally i will fold the clothes during weekend and let it pile up on the sofa but hubby does not understand that and my mil also dont understand too. she got tell my both parents that i am a failure wife, failure mum in front of my girl. she has never help me to bring my girl to school only fetch my girl from cc when it was going to rain 1 time only.

she also tells me she expects her dil to be able to work, able to do housechores 100 percent clean and no dust and oil on kitchen cabinets, and also taking good care of my hubby and girl if possible dont let them fall sick to my mum so i think in my mil view i am a bad dil. so now i have not been talking to my mil although she lives two bus stops away from my house.

i wish to go back to work but i have not been working for the past 2 years, so when ppl ask me what i am been doing for the past two years i normally said i am a full time housewife looking after my girl for the past 2 years and they give me the siah look already

last year i was working for a few months, and my girl keep falling sick in childcare end up i got to take urgent leave cause mil not willing to help, my mum lives too far and hubby salary is higher than mine and not sure if the employer minds this or not

when 3 months come, my boss refuse to confirm my probation period and insists to cut off my working days instead so end up i quit and stay home till now

recently i wish to look for job again, i wish to go back to work but i dont know what job can i find i only have o level but english fail and ite certs but i am not interested in office jobs at all last time worked for 2 years at statutory board and was very unhappy so dont wish to go back to office environment again

so what should i do now ? so sad and depressed and confused or should i go to upgrade myself but what course to upgrade ?

thanks for all the advice
 

lsy

Active Member
Hi jammowifey , how do u cope with cooking for ur kids? I'm also the primary care giver and I would say my hubby is the secondary. We do not have il or parents with us to help. At times when baby cranky couldn't even take shower after work. Laundry also piled up full load.
Have already survived 9 months. Now cracking my head thinking how to cook dinner for my toddler when she grow older?
 
Troubled at work

I m troubled at work. I have been working in this company for almost ten months, and recently I have assigned to help this man A but I can feel the vibes that he din really like me and this has been confirmed by one of my colleague(they r close friends), cause during one lunch outing he say that Mr. A is a very selective person, thus he will never ever come to talk to me,likewise he hardly assign task to me, this perhaps minimise the contact us, thus I feel weird, and can't help but feel if there is anything wrong with me?:(
 

MsKoh1973

Member
Re: Troubled at work

Dun get too worry, mayb he dun noe u tat well. Last time my mgr usrd to act as if I m her best fren, but she bad stab me n dwngrade my performance n blame it on my director. Think my mgr more evil
 

jammowifey

New Member
when she was younger it was tougher, cos there was very little she could eat. so we kinda had to forego on stuff we liked. ie. we cooked noodles for the whole family, and hers will seperate out and cut up. or we cook fish porridge for the whole family. basically i cooked with her in mind. hubby sometimes cannot tahan, then we would fry/toast sth else for ourselves. but basically it was baby first.

now much better cos she's two plus, eats just abt anything we eat. maybe 2-3 weekday nights will tabao or eat out to save on prep time and washing up.

yep, agreed that sometimes just have to forego our own comfort, which is extremely exhausting after a long day's work. but it's especially rewarding when she starts saying 'i love you' or hugs and kisses you. melts your heart and makes everything worthwhile. =)

Hi jammowifey , how do you cope with cooking for your kids? I'm also the primary care giver and I would say my hubby is the secondary. We do not have il or parents with us to help. At times when baby cranky couldn't even take shower after work. Laundry also piled up full load.
Have already survived 9 months. Now cracking my head thinking how to cook dinner for my toddler when she grow older?
 

jammowifey

New Member
Hmm, frankly, I dont know if iI truly love the job I'm doing too?

There have been times i'm so fed up I break down and cry and hug my daughter to sleep. But then I think of the financial stability it brings to my family and I just recover from that breakdown and continue with the job.

I guess my need is greater than the dislike for the job, so I just stick to it?

I'm sure stat board will have some opportuinities to upgrade your skills. I think its more worthwhile to get into a job, and then go for courses that are in line with the job. But thats just my personal view.

recently i wish to look for job again, i wish to go back to work but i dont know what job can i find i only have o level but english fail and ite certs but i am not interested in office jobs at all last time worked for 2 years at statutory board and was very unhappy so dont wish to go back to office environment again
 
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