Worries my spous be having an affair

[shiori chong]

Pls Help !! After 5yr of marriage ,My hubby and i are trying for baby . In order to get conceive better i will try to eat good food in order to get a better health to have baby. And dont know is it due to irreg mens i start to gain some weight in my life in marriage compare to the times we dating i was still quiet slim. And now comes problem he also wanting a baby but ever since we try for 8mth but never strike one , he would appear angry while im sad as im still young i think we keep on tryin and wait for good news and i consider visit a gyn for advise. But i notice my hubby will look at slim lady whenever we went out making me very piss off .That we having a big qurral about it , and from his words he blame on me for trying preg and tested out nothing always.And said other woman eat still can eat till so slim y i eat and will becom fat for me to want to have a baby wait long . I feel so hurt i wanting a baby of ours but i just cant stand the way he look at other woman when we go out . And im thinking of divorce even if one day i really have a baby already. He make me feel so stress and yet cant conceive one will blame on me . I just find that he might be having an affair sooner or later . I feel very stress and tired . I have nothing.. no house .. no ppl to talk about it .. dont know where can i go if we divorce.. my own mother care her niece more than i as a daughter .. somtimes i dont even know what the point of finding someone you love to start a family. Sometime we qurral he will also slap my face when i arrguin to him. How to have my own baby which i desire so much.
Any advice

 

[momi]

I am so sad to hear of your situation. No matter what I will never respect a man (what more husband) attempting violent behaviour on his wife, in your case slapping you. On top of that, he is such a selfish and insensitive man! How can he be angry with you for not conceiving? And PLUS comparing you to other ladies out there! He is intolerable. While I hate to agree to divorce, in your case it may not be a bad thing. Anyway before we resolve to it, let's see what you can do now:

i) Have you visited or thought of visiting a gynae to test why you have been unable to conceive? For all you know, it could be due to HIS problem :001_302:
ii) Is it possible to sit down with your husband and let out to him all these unhappiness of yours? To me, he doesn't sound like a reasonable guy enough but only you can tell whether he has those moments where you two can talk calmly.

 

[jessmummy]

best is go to gynae.. and ask for help or options to learn how to conceive... maybe like momi say, its his problem e.g. due to slower swimmers or low swimmers
i know it's very stressful trying to hit jackpot. but perhaps read up? and chart your period and ovulation?

 

[wanderful]

slap! this man doesn't deserve your love....how can a man lay a finger on this wife. you must think carefully whether to have a child with this man.

 

[Princekitty]

Sorry to be frank, i dun think u shld have a baby with him. Is not easy to be pregnant with a non supportive husband and furthermore so violent. During pregnancy, woman needs lots of support which i doubt he can gives.

 

[breakfree]

Sorry to be frank, i dont think you shld have a baby with him. Is not easy to be pregnant with a non supportive husband and furthermore so violent. During pregnancy, woman needs lots of support which i doubt he can gives.

i agree with Princekitty.

if u really pregnant and he is so selfish, I think u will have more problem.

 

[llcyahoo]

sry but pls dun hv baby with this man. He slap you!!!! What happen if he do that to yr baby next time. He is so childish, pls think again for you and future kid. no support fr yr own mother (juz like me) i can understand, the more i tell myself to love myself more.

 

[Mandy Wong]

Even having a kid wont solve the problem. Kid wont keep a man heart. If not why so many divorce cases? In fact, after pregnancy and giving birth, weight gain is inevitable. So means, he will still look at other woman? And also having a supportive husband is impt when you having a baby.

Wish you all the best. =)

 

[Fisherman's Friend]

Sorry to say, this man is horrible! No matter what happen, a man shouldnt lay hands on his wife!! Having a child is not just your responsibility, so how can he blame you? Its unfair...Pls love yourself more...

 

[noelsmum]

I will let my husband hit me only once because I believe in giving people 2nd chances in life. But if he hits me the next time, I will leave him. Before we got married, I told him this and spelt it very clearly with him. He understands that and in our 9 years of marriage whenever the quarrels get too heated, he walks away or clams up to avoid anymore anger and frustrations. I do not have respect for spouses who compare their spouses with other people. And it disgusts me to think that he complains of your size and he brings it up. Isn't marriages meant to be till death do us part, in sickness and stuff like that? Really pisses me off. I get fat and hubby tells me that if I want to work out to lose the weight, that's fine but if I'm lazy, he'll still love me. But he reminds me of health issues more than being fat or stuff like that.

Tell him clearly that the next time he hits you, you're walking out. And if he compares you with other women, you're walking out too. Be firm if not, he'll take you as a doormat.

 

[shiori chong]

Thanks all dear he is already 32 and i had no idea how come he behaviour like teen not even that even we qural he ask me to married another man and he would damage my clothes and tear away all our rom pictures.. all is nightmare to me

 

[caramelpopsicle]

Sad to hear of your plight but soldier on brave one. Although it is not right for a man to slap a woman, maybe its a reaction from all that frustration of trying for a baby that has gotten to him.
Men tend to clam up when it comes to their feelings. Try talking to him, slowly and him to open up. It's probably the same reason that explain to his wandering eyes. Most affairs are borne out of a result of an inability to communicate, rather than what most people think.

 

[pehong]

Getting a baby is only the first step. But after have baby more things to be quarall then.... As a lady, i think we should look for a man who love kids... before married. This is my mistake on miss out the point on choosing a husband before married. How to try ? Take a kid out during partoh time to test your BF patient and how he treat the kid then you will know.

 

[noelsmum]

Sad to hear of your plight but soldier on brave one. Although it is not right for a man to slap a woman, maybe its a reaction from all that frustration of trying for a baby that has gotten to him.

Pardon me for being blunt. So are you suggesting that she should soldier on and continue being beaten up by her husband while trying to get pregnant? And in the event that she doesnt get pregnant, sure, continue to be beaten up. And yes, pregnant and beating stop till he gets annoyed by the baby?

I hate to say this but this is one of the worst advice that I've read. But soldier on brave one? This is why and how women get stuck in abusive relationship and marriages. They try to be the brave one and hope and pray that they will change and more often than not, no changes but end up with black eyes, bruises and broken bones. Have you read that the husband tore up their ROM photos and damage her clothes when he's mad?

Please think before giving such advice. She can be seriously hurt one day. Pardon me for being blunt. I do not take lightly to women or men or anyone being in an abusive relationship. Have heard, read and witnessed too many sad stories.

 

[llcyahoo]

Pardon me for being blunt. So are you suggesting that she should soldier on and continue being beaten up by her husband while trying to get pregnant? And in the event that she doesnt get pregnant, sure, continue to be beaten up. And yes, pregnant and beating stop till he gets annoyed by the baby?

I hate to say this but this is one of the worst advice that I've read. But soldier on brave one? This is why and how women get stuck in abusive relationship and marriages. They try to be the brave one and hope and pray that they will change and more often than not, no changes but end up with black eyes, bruises and broken bones. Have you read that the husband tore up their ROM photos and damage her clothes when he's mad?

Please think before giving such advice. She can be seriously hurt one day. Pardon me for being blunt. I do not take lightly to women or men or anyone being in an abusive relationship. Have heard, read and witnessed too many sad stories.

sry what does that sentence mean?

 

[pehong]

We are not her, only she can decide the life herself. We do not know his husban also, she have to think for herself what are the way she should go.

 

[shiori chong]

Thanks dear mummies advice , although we have been datin for nearly 10yr but now its prove ppl do change, Mostly i think i will get divorce but i will still go for a checkup with gyn for a ease of my mind in case of any problem can cure it first , As for him not only he got problem his family side also not so kind hearted person( not that i want to say bad things behind elders) he throw thing to hit me in front of his parents none both of them stop him , opp i being chase out by them (his parents) . This man is some more rude to my parents too since my dad gone not long ago , Still got the cheek to say he will mention and say at least his parents still got two ppl sick still can take care of each others unlike mine only left one parent ! The more i think the more i angry and hated

 

[dinnie]

Thanks dear mummies advice , although we have been datin for nearly 10yr but now its prove ppl do change, Mostly i think i will get divorce but i will still go for a checkup with gyn for a ease of my mind in case of any problem can cure it first , As for him not only he got problem his family side also not so kind hearted person( not that i want to say bad things behind elders) he throw thing to hit me in front of his parents none both of them stop him , opp i being chase out by them (his parents) . This man is some more rude to my parents too since my dad gone not long ago , Still got the cheek to say he will mention and say at least his parents still got two ppl sick still can take care of each others unlike mine only left one parent ! The more i think the more i angry and hated

is good that u are making decision to protect yourself. Don't let him abuse u again. I believe he is doing all this because he think that he can get away with it.

 

[noelsmum]

sry what does that sentence mean?

It means, stay on, continue on,

 

[simon73]

Thanks dear mummies advice , although we have been datin for nearly 10yr but now its prove ppl do change, Mostly i think i will get divorce but i will still go for a checkup with gyn for a ease of my mind in case of any problem can cure it first , As for him not only he got problem his family side also not so kind hearted person( not that i want to say bad things behind elders) he throw thing to hit me in front of his parents none both of them stop him , opp i being chase out by them (his parents) . This man is some more rude to my parents too since my dad gone not long ago , Still got the cheek to say he will mention and say at least his parents still got two ppl sick still can take care of each others unlike mine only left one parent ! The more i think the more i angry and hated

find yourself a better man....something is not right with him