You might have been thinking about making a family that you and/or your spouse (or maybe even children) have considered adoption.Adoption is a legal process by which the rights and responsibilities for a child are given up by the biological parents and taken on by the adoptive parents.You may be struggling with infertility or you are motivated by some other reasons, but one thing’s for sure: adoption is not for everyone. So, how will you know if your desire to adopt a child is right for you? According to Barbara Holtan of Adoptive Family Magazine for Babycenter.com, “How will I know when I am ready to take this life-changing step? To answer this question you need to think about why you want to adopt. Your motives can reveal a lot about your readiness. To help you assess them, I have assembled a variety of motives expressed over the years by families that I have worked with. None of these is made-up. Perhaps you will recognize yourself in one-or several. Beside each motive, I have offered my opinion or advice regarding the wisdom of such thinking.”
Here are the reasons most people ask, and here are what Barbara advised:
I want a playmate for my birthchild.
Hire a neighbor’s child.
My religion tells me to reach out to those less fortunate than I
Put a big donation in the collection plate next Sunday.
My infertility is a constant sadness. It hurts terribly.
Infertility is devastating, but you must understand that adopting does not cure it.
We are quite well off and could give so many things to a child.
Write a check to your favorite children’s charity.
Our marriage is shaky and a child will bring us back together.
It will never happen.
Since we can’t have birth children, I guess there is no difference anyway.
It’s a start, but you need to get past that notion of second best.
We might as well adopt.
Neither is better or worse, but adoptive parenting and birthparenting are really the same, aren’t they?
They ARE different.
I really want to adopt but my husband is ambivalent. He’ll come around once the child is ours.
What if he doesn’t?
I feel so empty inside. A child will fill up that emptiness.
Find a friend.
I just want to cry when I think about all those poor homeless children. I think I’ll take one in.
No child needs pity. OR, donate to the missions.
There’s absolutely no child that I couldn’t love.
Ouch! I could show you a few. I am a teacher (or mental health professional or social worker or doctor) and I am a “pro” at dealing with children. Being a child professional is a lot different than being someone’s parent.
All these children really need is a lot of love.
I used to think that, too. Now I know better.
I/We just really like kids and want to add one (or more) to our family. I want to be someone’s parent. I know I have a lot to learn but I want to begin.
Yes! Go for it, you’re on the right road
Now, after you go through this “checklist,” and you find out that you are on the right track, might as well be informed how adoption works in SG:
When you adopt a child, you are creating a family. It is not just a legal matter but one that involves deep emotions. Adoption can be an enriching and fulfilling experience for both parents and child – one that can be highly rewarding but will involve specific challenges.
The process of adoption varies, depending on the nationality of the child.
Requirements of Adoptive Parents
Adoptive parents must be:
· Residents of Singapore
· At least 25 years of age
· At least 21 years older than the child
These rules may be waived if special circumstances justify the adoption (if the prospective parent and the adopted child are blood relatives, for instance).
Requirements the Child must Fulfill
· The child must be under 21 years old and a Singapore resident.
· A foreign-born child may be adopted, but will need to get a Dependant’s Pass from the Ministry of Social and Family Development (MSF).
The Adoption Procedure
Permanent residents who intend to adopt a child already resident in Singapore or a child from another country will be supported by the Ministry of Social and Family Development, which will be involved and can provide advice and information.
Ministry of Social and Family Development At: 512A Thomson Road, #02-01/09 SLF Podium, Singapore 298137
Hotline: 6355 6388
Fax: 6258 4823
Please click on the relevant links below for more information.
· Adopting a Singaporean child (http://app.msf.gov.sg/Adoption/HowtoadoptacitizenorPR.aspx)
· Adopting a non-Singaporean child (http://app.msf.gov.sg/Adoption/Howtoadoptaforeignchild.aspx)
· Adopting a child from The Peoples’ Republic of China (http://app.msf.gov.sg/Adoption/HowtoadoptachildfromChina.aspx)
· Applying Dependant’s Pass for the purpose of adoption (http://app.msf.gov.sg/Adoption/ApplyforDependantsPass.aspx)
We hope here in MummySG that your dream of having a family come true, and may your journey towards the adoption process be easy and be fulfilling.
Adoption in Singapore: Adopting a Child or an Infant: http://singapore.angloinfo.com/information/healthcare/pregnancy-birth/adoption/
Are You Ready to Adopt: http://www.babycenter.com/0_are-you-ready-to-adopt_1372535.bc
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