Will you forgive him if he hits you?

[rjj]

Yes, he hit me coz i throw things at him. There were times when he throw the thing back at me. But my injury will be worse coz his force harder. My friends all told me regardless wat i hv done, i dun deservedx his blows.

has there been 1time you nvr throw things but he still hit u? yes, your frens are rite, no matter wat u do, he still shld not hit u, cos he is stronger. but i was thinking if u can, try to hold your 'things' den maybe he will not hit u lor....

so sad to know so many wivies got 'hit' by hbs

 

[LoVeS]

thruout my 7yrs marriage, he has hit me many times. He's a good father (he helps me with housework and take care of bb) but his temper is very bad and quick. When we had a heated quarrel and i start throw things at him and he just snap and hit me. I hv to admit i'm also at fault coz i'm very unreasonable when we quarrel but i dun deserve his blows. He ask for forgiveness later when we both cooled down and i always forgive him when he promised he won't do tat again.But there's always a second time. I'm very tired of his "promises" which never come true.

He hit me yest and he really hit me hard unmercilessly with 2 punches and kena my arm. My arm is swollen n bruised. I managed to chase him out of the hse as i threaten to go police. My mum came over later after work coz i told her wat happen on the phone. She want me to give dh another chance coz my ds is still young n needs a father. Dh was there when we talk. He's back in the hse now and regret wat he has done. But i dunno if i can trust him again. Wat happen yest shock me. Usually when he hit me, i'll close my eyes n avoid. Yest i saw how he hit me and tat look on his face, tells me tat he could kill me. I dun seems to noe this man anymore

U should make a police report n see a doc as evidence coz it will b useful in future coz u will nv knw when will he strike again n by then he could juz deny he hit u more than once. It will benefit u too if in future divorce comes into the pic in case he wanna fight custody of ur ds.

For me i dun allow or forgive my dh to hit me regardless wat reasons he gave me. They can do it once then they can do it twice or more.

 

[LoVeS]

For me, if he hits me one time, I'll forgive him ba.. Forgive him only if the hit is juz a slap..I believe everyone makes mistakes & he do it in the moment of anger tts y i willing to forgive him..BUT if he were to do it again..tts it man...Straightaway apply for PPO...Hahaha...I told him tt...I don tink he'll hit me cz he's in civil servant..he noe laws better than me...:tlaugh:

knowing law or knw better as a civil servant doesnt mean tt they wont hit ppl. moment of anger can make anyone do things unexpectedly.

 

[LoVeS]

Wah...so rough ar.... ur HB still does tt?? Me kena handcuffed by HB twice last yr!!! it happened so fast... till nw i bear some grudges at him for doing tt in public...n told him i'll remember tt incident for life!! He laughed.. i still consider tt as abuse lor....:wemad: Everytime if he were to mention abt tt incident, i'll hit his chest or pinch his nipple...Serves him rite!

HUH?! handcuffed u in public for wat?!

 

[LoVeS]

mi n my dh are together for 5yrs+.. las time when we were not married yet, he used to hit mi..there was once i fainted as he knocked my head too hard on the wall..but ever since then, he nv hit mi again..but if we argue until very jia lat..he might raise his hand as if wantin to hit mi again..so i will dare him to hit mi..i told myself if he ever hit mi again..i wil definitely report police..n tk my ds away wif mi...a leopard nv changes its spot..im juz waitin for the day he hit mi again..hu noes when wil it be?

why do u wanna dare him to hit u again? Isnt it inviting sum beating to urself? Ur waiting for the day he hit u again? Seriously i duno wat ur tinking sia, u sound it like ur looking forward to such day where he hit u then u can report police n take ur ds away. If tis is wat ur tinking then why bother get married wif him in the 1st place?!:err:

 

[-SRI-]

knowing law or knw better as a civil servant doesnt mean tt they wont hit ppl. moment of anger can make anyone do things unexpectedly.

HUH?! handcuffed u in public for wat?!

i don tink...cz he noe i'll apply for PPO for sure.. i do agree wit u but usually if they noe law so they shld noe the consequences for their actions... tt will deter them... but its me who always 'hit' him..ha...sometimes i'll hit his groin....i don like it la when we discuss abt smth serious, he'll tend to make a joke out of it... its the other way round.. still remember vividly hw angry he is when i did tt.. but he juz ignore me, don talk for a few mins after tt ok.. even joke tt he wanna apply for PPO... hahaha


u ask me ar...i no idea...he gt nth better to do la.......it happened during police carnival..gt handcuff display...he took it n handcuffed me twice..the 1st time i told him to let me go..he let go den hancuffed again don wanna unlock it..tis time i shout @ him sia.... tink wat.. i criminal ar.... nt funny lor.... he can still laughed.. damn mad at him tt time till he had to please me damn hard...:bmad: but nonetheless during our 2yrs plus in r/s, i'm thankful to god he nvr physically abuse me...BUT only make my BLOOD BOIL...................................:tlaugh:

 

[shopaholic]

My first instinct will be to say NO but with kids, I dont think I will easily walk out just because of a light push. If it's something more serious like punches, then I will not hesitate to walk out.

In your situation, it's been like this for the past 7 yrs and he did not change for the better despite his promises. And it looks to me it's not a light push but something severe enough to bruise you. If he's really keen to change, request him to go for anger management programmes or seek professional counselling for his problem. But this is only gd if you're willing to give him a chance. If these still doesnt help, then I think you seriously need to rethink your options. Also, if you hv got no more feelings for this man (except of fear!), then no point hanging on. I'm sure you do not want your son to grow up watching his dad hit his mummy and think that's ok?

That said, if both of you are willing to work on this marriage, you hv to learn to control your temper too. If you know by throwing things at him will provoke him, then dont do it. He in turn will also hv to learn to control his temper by keeping his hands by his sides. I think it really takes 2 sides to make things work.

 

[jennielam]

mine case similar to maine78
wanted divorce many times but think of kids, they would be sad w/o a father
now l just treat him as kids father and he has to share responsibility with me in providing for them and bring them up well
l dun want to love or care him

 

[Umeko]

Will you forgive yr dh if he hits you when both of you quarrel?

I remember when my HB raised his hand at me 3 years back, althought he din slap very hard, I went to a lawyer and file for PPO the following day.
:bconfused:
He swore to the officer that he will never do it again, and that was really the last time..

 

[jennielam]

wats PPO? need how much for that?

 

[-SRI-]

Mummies... ytd i realise emotionally abuse is worst than physically abuse.. the pain & wound wont heal..... the impact will allways be dere.... sometimes i feel, i rather he physically abuse me so i can go take actions by law....if emotionally, sometimes counselling oso don work on me...

 

[jennielam]

l think most of us here are both emotionally and physically

 

[leey]

As I would wonder that talking or peace discussion is enough,

no need more extra action or hits.Everything will be solve or will go out for some hours walk to cool down.:001_302:

 

[-SRI-]

mine case similar to maine78
hb hit me before many times.. and each time he regretted his actions and apologise, promise wont do that again..but still do
dun trust his words..
yes l was wrong too to provoke him by pinching him.. but his punches is full force ..
kanna bruise on my arm before...
the worst was l was hit when carrying his child... late into preg..cant bring myself to forgive until now
wanted divorce many times but think of kids, they would be sad w/o a father
now l just treat him as kids father and he has to share responsibility with me in providing for them and bring them up well
l dun want to love or care him

I salute u all for being so patience juz bcz of ur children sake...:red: **applause**ancing_wub:

 

[-SRI-]

l think most of us here are both emotionally and physically

Haiz........ nvm... jia you to all of us here...:red: nw... i wanna let him taste his own medicine.. tts the only cure.. fuh!! i cant wait man.... ppl may said its revenge but for me, i juz want him to feel wat i feel..tts the only way for him to understand wat i been thru... counting the days... somehw i feel HB tinks by me keeping quiet & kuai kuai.. i wont retailiate.. n he can anyhw do wat he tinks deem fit... Dear HB...... I'm so sorry... u are wrg... i'm nt the one to trifle wit!! don take me for granted....:tlaugh:

 

[-SRI-]

wats PPO? need how much for that?
the pain and hurt inflicted on me was too great that it would be nothing new if he hit me again
the thought of him hitting me when preg kept play in my mind.. and its impossible to be true to him now

tis one i nt tt exp..cz i nvr been thru tt.. juz help my sis to apply for tt as her HB keep beating her...even when she's preg...nw she on divorce case...

Hmm.. for me.. i told her whenever ur HB beat u..go make a police report and collect as many report as possible..even if its a slap u can go make a report... the report is gd evidence tt he has abuse u..... den go to FSC (Family Service Centre) near to ur neighbourhood & said abt u wanna apply for PPO ( Personal Protection Order)... kena interview via webcam & show all the police report.. & they'll revise ur case... transfer the info to the MCYS for PPO order.. and wait for court letter... both party will get the letter.. Family court will charged u $6 for registration i tink.. but depend on case...

nt only u can apply...u can apply it for ur children if they hv abuse them... Nw sis gt the PPO.. So happie for her........ Please remember to make a police report whenever he beat u... but do it w/o his knowledge... keep the report safely.. u can use tt for divorce too.. it'll be gd if u wanna the custody of ur children... tis kind of HB need to teach them a lesson.. don worry.. In s'pore there's such thing called Woman Charter.... :001_302:

Hope tis helps... hehehe...

Family & Community Development @ eCitizen - Stop Family Violence

 

[-SRI-]

I remember when my HB raised his hand at me 3 years back, althought he din slap very hard, I went to a lawyer and file for PPO the following day.
:bconfused:
He swore to the officer that he will never do it again, and that was really the last time..

Hahaha..tts gd Umeko!! Congrats.. ancing_wub:sometimes we need to knock some sense into them then they know who's bigger & powerful...:tlaugh:

 

[xue]

why do u wanna dare him to hit u again? Isnt it inviting sum beating to urself? Ur waiting for the day he hit u again? Seriously i duno wat ur tinking sia, u sound it like ur looking forward to such day where he hit u then u can report police n take ur ds away. If tis is wat ur tinking then why bother get married wif him in the 1st place?!:err:

coz whenever i dare him, he wun hit mi ma ..:001_302: he wil feel guilty when i dare him...when i sae waitin for the day he hit mi..the meanin is lke i expect dat he wil hit mi again..juz dat i duno when it will be oni..:embarrassed: n i sae i will report police..coz i will nv forgif him ever again if he ever hit mi one more time..n of coz i wil wan to tk my ds away if he hit mi again..

 

[LoVeS]

i don tink...cz he noe i'll apply for PPO for sure.. i do agree wit u but usually if they noe law so they shld noe the consequences for their actions... tt will deter them... but its me who always 'hit' him..ha...sometimes i'll hit his groin....i don like it la when we discuss abt smth serious, he'll tend to make a joke out of it... its the other way round.. still remember vividly hw angry he is when i did tt.. but he juz ignore me, don talk for a few mins after tt ok.. even joke tt he wanna apply for PPO... hahaha


u ask me ar...i no idea...he gt nth better to do la.......it happened during police carnival..gt handcuff display...he took it n handcuffed me twice..the 1st time i told him to let me go..he let go den hancuffed again don wanna unlock it..tis time i shout @ him sia.... tink wat.. i criminal ar.... nt funny lor.... he can still laughed.. damn mad at him tt time till he had to please me damn hard...:bmad: but nonetheless during our 2yrs plus in r/s, i'm thankful to god he nvr physically abuse me...BUT only make my BLOOD BOIL...................................:tlaugh:

There are many cases of ppl who knw laws or even policeman who knw laws but still break laws which is why i say knwing laws doesnt mean they wont do it. In chinese there's a saying "knowing laws but still break laws"

OMG of all places u hit tt place? I knw how fustrating it is when discussing serious matter but guys still joking ard or nt serious which my dh aso like tt 1 BUT hitting tt place is really too xtreme leh. If he force himself on u n u hit tt place i can understand but for wat u mentioned abit too much leh.:elvis:

Oh u mean he used u to demo ah?:tlaugh:

 

[LoVeS]

Haiz........ nvm... jia you to all of us here...:red: nw... i wanna let him taste his own medicine.. tts the only cure.. fuh!! i cant wait man.... ppl may said its revenge but for me, i juz want him to feel wat i feel..tts the only way for him to understand wat i been thru... counting the days... somehw i feel HB tinks by me keeping quiet & kuai kuai.. i wont retailiate.. n he can anyhw do wat he tinks deem fit... Dear HB...... I'm so sorry... u are wrg... i'm nt the one to trifle wit!! don take me for granted....:tlaugh:

huh?? wat did he do?! :err: