I think i am having post natal depression

[soapsoap]

I think i am having post natal depression, my emotion is very unstable which i don know wat cause it.

i have my baby eariler than expected as it was induce because my baby was too big size ae 36 week, after bb was born i went baby to my mum place for confinement, stay there for more than 2 month because HDB was doung so renovation work to my block,

when the time to leave my mum place get nearer, i can cry so easily which i do not know wat has happen, just tat i don wan to leave cos my silbing is all there, i was crying the whole journey back home.

don know why tat after my child birth i keep having the feeling that my MIL will not love my baby will not take good care of her as my husband niece is taken care by mmy in law and both of them stay with us, i really scare that wnen i go back to work the niece will bully my baby is all attention is given to baby. All the negative thought just flood my mind.

i think part of the reason i keep having all this feeling is also because when i wan at my mum place for confinement, my in law only visited 3 time, once in hospital, once in my mum place the other time is when baby have her first month celebration, which make mi feel that his family don care about baby.

where else my family is different.my sister even thought see us everyday, some time in the afternoon they will sms to check how are we coping.

i really feel that i having post natal depression, i need some help, where can i get help?

 

[angelwendy]

I think i am having post natal depression, my emotion is very unstable which i dont know what cause it.

i have my baby eariler than expected as it was induce because my baby was too big size ae 36 week, after baby was born i went baby to my mum place for confinement, stay there for more than 2 month because HDB was doung so renovation work to my block,

when the time to leave my mum place get nearer, i can cry so easily which i do not know what has happen, just that i dont want to leave cos my silbing is all there, i was crying the whole journey back home.

dont know why that after my child birth i keep having the feeling that my mother in law will not love my baby will not take good care of her as my husband niece is taken care by mmy in law and both of them stay with us, i really scare that wnen i go back to work the niece will bully my baby is all attention is given to baby. All the negative thought just flood my mind.

i think part of the reason i keep having all this feeling is also because when i want at my mum place for confinement, my in law only visited 3 time, once in hospital, once in my mum place the other time is when baby have her first month celebration, which make mi feel that his family dont care about baby.

where else my family is different.my sister even thought see us everyday, some time in the afternoon they will sms to check how are we coping.

i really feel that i having post natal depression, i need some help, where can i get help?

My dear... Patz.. i know how u feel.. because after i given birth i also think of alot of things... like people might bully my baby.. & Etc... but not to worry.. things will get better soon... As for ur MIL... i think maybe she is busy? but at least she came to visit.. not like mine... when i was confinement.. she never came at all.. only visit once in hospital when i give birth to my son.. & when my son full month..But at least my MIL.. does call me up to check if everything is ok.. how i coping.. so my MIL is not that bad after all.. but due to some misunderstanding.. we did not contact anymore...my hubby side only My MIL attend.. all others never attend for his full month...

There is always people who is worst than u.. so don't give urself so much stress... maybe u wanna talk to a Doctor about this? they can refer u to someone that can help.. did u tell ur hubby about it??

 

[diymummy]

I think you're feeling fearful in the change of caretakers and environment along with baby's crying which is possibly giving you pressure.

Try not to think too much abt it. Keep an open mind, probably talk to your husband abt your feelings abt your in-laws and let him assure and affirm you since he definitely knows his mum better.

Most importantly you need to talk to supportive friends. List down some friends or relatives whom you can trust and talk to them about your feelings. Penning your feelings and expectations down also help so you might want to do that.

Meanwhile, it would also be helpful if you can leave your baby with your mum for a few hrs while you go out for some fresh air. Go do some shopping or go for a hair cut.

 

[soapsoap]

my husband know about it he encourage me to see a doc but where to go??

i now cannot bear to leave my gal wif anyone even go down stair buy thing i will also rush back asap one.

Wendy my in law is staying at my flat and worse thing is during my confinement she never ask mi do i know how to take care baby anot and when i move back first day she did not ask do i know how to shower bb anot, and she go out early in the morning, let me have the feeling that she don care about my gal she only care about my husband niece as the both of them go out together one

 

[angelwendy]

my husband know about it he encourage me to see a doc but where to go??

i now cannot bear to leave my gal with anyone even go down stair buy thing i will also rush back asap one.

Wendy my in law is staying at my flat and worse thing is during my confinement she never ask mi do i know how to take care baby anot and when i move back first day she did not ask do i know how to shower baby anot, and she go out early in the morning, let me have the feeling that she dont care about my gal she only care about my husband niece as the both of them go out together one

Hmmm... maybe u can go to KKH.. i think there is a department that is for post natal depression.. because a friend of mine told me before can go there see... i hope it helps...

As for ur MIL.. i feel that i think maybe she feel that u know how to shower baby... is only my guessing.... but don't let ur imagination run wild.. things might not be as bad as u think.. or maybe call up some frenz or relative to talk ? or even u can speak ur problem to ur mum...

 

[MsKoh1973]

sometimes MIL like to act blur, act don't know, so if u really need her help, as in if you really don't know, then you ask her. Cos if you ask and don't follow her instructions, she may not be happy.

alternatively, u can refer to the website for information, now Youtube nearly got everything for anything.

I tell you, cannot rely too much on old pp, esp MIL, they bo chap one, so must be independent. When I just had my first bb oso, my MIL fr Msia came (after my husband begged her so many times), but she only come to lok see lok see, never do anything, then go back. Later on when I forced my husband to confront her, she said not that she din want to help, but we never say we need help, so not her fault........so u see, these MIL are all like tat............so dun be too bother w them..........

 

[soapsoap]

my mother in law have been saying even before i got pregnant she will take care of my baby when i go back to work,tat her reason for moving in to stay wif us, but today when i was trying to bottle feed my dal, she was scream on top of her voice she don even offer her help before tat i already tell her to bottle feed my gal, she don even look at my gal just go jogging with my husband niece,

i got the feeling that she don wan to take care of my gal. when everyone in my family is telling mi must let my gal get use to my MIL before i go back to work but i really don think she making an effort to get close to my gal

i am really lose don don wat to do

 

[apollo]

my husband know about it he encourage me to see a doc but where to go??

i now cannot bear to leave my gal with anyone even go down stair buy thing i will also rush back asap one.

Wendy my in law is staying at my flat and worse thing is during my confinement she never ask mi do i know how to take care baby anot and when i move back first day she did not ask do i know how to shower baby anot, and she go out early in the morning, let me have the feeling that she dont care about my gal she only care about my husband niece as the both of them go out together one

u can always go to any polyclinic and get the doc to write u a referral letter if u wanna go govt hospital. or if u have spare cash, can go to private hospital.

dun think so much. i think u so try to relax. dun take everything so hard. rmb, ur baby needs you =)

 

[Ting]

its good that u feel u might be having an issue with your emotions, so best to get referal from a doc,cos some ppl dont realise it til a much later stage. but then again, maybe u r thinking too much..

perhaps u r a new mum, so u r anxious n worried if your kid is gg to be fine.
how old is your neice?? hmmm if she is not the bratty type by nature, i think it shld be fine.

 

[temari]

I think i am having post natal depression, my emotion is very unstable which i dont know what cause it.

i have my baby eariler than expected as it was induce because my baby was too big size ae 36 week, after baby was born i went baby to my mum place for confinement, stay there for more than 2 month because HDB was doung so renovation work to my block,

when the time to leave my mum place get nearer, i can cry so easily which i do not know what has happen, just that i dont want to leave cos my silbing is all there, i was crying the whole journey back home.

dont know why that after my child birth i keep having the feeling that my mother in law will not love my baby will not take good care of her as my husband niece is taken care by mmy in law and both of them stay with us, i really scare that wnen i go back to work the niece will bully my baby is all attention is given to baby. All the negative thought just flood my mind.

i think part of the reason i keep having all this feeling is also because when i want at my mum place for confinement, my in law only visited 3 time, once in hospital, once in my mum place the other time is when baby have her first month celebration, which make mi feel that his family dont care about baby.

where else my family is different.my sister even thought see us everyday, some time in the afternoon they will sms to check how are we coping.

i really feel that i having post natal depression, i need some help, where can i get help?

i also still having he same feeling as you now. its been 3 months already but i still feel very unhappy staying at MIL house.I dont even have a chance to go stay at my mother house or do confinement at my mother's house. my MIL dont know how to take care of my baby.When my baby is born, they didnt came on that day,i also like you feel that they dont care about my baby or simply dont care about me.they came on the 2nd day.FIL came on the day i gg to discharge.I am staying with MIL and BIL,my room is small and cramp.Many unhappy things happen and of all no support from husband.IL are those type dun care,anything also dun have.At first i was pressurize by MIL and blame by husband for being no milk for baby.NO help from husband and IL taking care baby during first 2 weeks. I got terrible depression and throw temper at my baby.when my husband saw then start to do something.slowly no help again from them.i survive by myself in order to take care of my baby.tire to the stage carrying baby and can collapse on bed while milking him.before pregnancy i was not given any tonic by IL.No fish soup or whatever.Everyday eat cold dishes ever since i was married here..

I get morale support from my friends and siblings.sms them whenever i feel terrible.i cry alone when feeding my baby.thoughts of suicide in my mind everytime i feel very sad. hope my bto faster finish,just wanted to faster move out of here.everything here is so inconvenient,no privacy, no healthy lifestyle, no morale support,no help, the small and cramp room, IL talking bad of me here and i have to pretend never heard etc, ever since baby is born till now i am the only one waking midnight feeding baby.even weekend.husband sleep sometimes din even know baby wakeup to drink milk.very few time he wakeup to help..gynae told him i got post natal blues he also dont care.i dont feel he cares of me anymore after baby is born.

SO as compare to you, you are very lucky already.just keep getting all the morale support you can.TEll yourself you have to survice cos your baby needs you.ancing_wub:

 

[angelwendy]

you can always go to any polyclinic and get the doc to write you a referral letter if you wanna go govt hospital. or if you have spare cash, can go to private hospital.

dont think so much. i think you so try to relax. dont take everything so hard. rmb, your baby needs you =)

Yup i agree with apollo... u can go to polyclinic & get a referral letter...

 

[angelwendy]

i also still having he same feeling as you now. its been 3 months already but i still feel very unhappy staying at mother in law house.I dont even have a chance to go stay at my mother house or do confinement at my mother's house. my mother in law dont know how to take care of my baby.When my baby is born, they didnt came on that day,i also like you feel that they dont care about my baby or simply dont care about me.they came on the 2nd day.father in law came on the day i gg to discharge.I am staying with mother in law and brother in law,my room is small and cramp.Many unhappy things happen and of all no support from husband.IL are those type dont care,anything also dont have.At first i was pressurize by mother in law and blame by husband for being no milk for baby.NO help from husband and IL taking care baby during first 2 weeks. I got terrible depression and throw temper at my baby.when my husband saw then start to do something.slowly no help again from them.i survive by myself in order to take care of my baby.tire to the stage carrying baby and can collapse on bed while milking him.before pregnancy i was not given any tonic by IL.No fish soup or whatever.Everyday eat cold dishes ever since i was married here..

I get morale support from my friends and siblings.sms them whenever i feel terrible.i cry alone when feeding my baby.thoughts of suicide in my mind everytime i feel very sad. hope my bto faster finish,just wanted to faster move out of here.everything here is so inconvenient,no privacy, no healthy lifestyle, no morale support,no help, the small and cramp room, IL talking bad of me here and i have to pretend never heard etc, ever since baby is born till now i am the only one waking midnight feeding baby.even weekend.husband sleep sometimes did not even know baby wakeup to drink milk.very few time he wakeup to help..gynae told him i got post natal blues he also dont care.i dont feel he cares of me anymore after baby is born.

SO as compare to you, you are very lucky already.just keep getting all the morale support you can.TEll yourself you have to survice cos your baby needs you.ancing_wub:

It must be hard on u.... to not having a supportive hubby... maybe u wanna really sit down & talk to him... tell him how u feel.. & u needed his support badly... i think he will understand....

 

[Sharon Neo]

I think i am having post natal depression, my emotion is very unstable which i dont know what cause it.

i have my baby eariler than expected as it was induce because my baby was too big size ae 36 week, after baby was born i went baby to my mum place for confinement, stay there for more than 2 month because HDB was doung so renovation work to my block,

when the time to leave my mum place get nearer, i can cry so easily which i do not know what has happen, just that i dont want to leave cos my silbing is all there, i was crying the whole journey back home.

dont know why that after my child birth i keep having the feeling that my mother in law will not love my baby will not take good care of her as my husband niece is taken care by mmy in law and both of them stay with us, i really scare that wnen i go back to work the niece will bully my baby is all attention is given to baby. All the negative thought just flood my mind.

i think part of the reason i keep having all this feeling is also because when i want at my mum place for confinement, my in law only visited 3 time, once in hospital, once in my mum place the other time is when baby have her first month celebration, which make mi feel that his family dont care about baby.

where else my family is different.my sister even thought see us everyday, some time in the afternoon they will sms to check how are we coping.

i really feel that i having post natal depression, i need some help, where can i get help?

Looks as if you really need professional help for your depression.....go and check with your gynae to see if he/she can recommend some professional help. There is nothing wrong in seeking professional advice cos hormonal changes wreaks havoc on our emotions and we get weepy and emotional over trivial issues.

From my experience and my friends' experience, some times it is better not to depend too much on in-law's help, even though they have pledged to help out much earlier on. I have gone thru this before, no one to depend on cos my mum was too old to help me and my inlaws had done their fair share of looking after my husband's older siblings' kids and not keen to play nanny again. My son was born premature at 34 weeks so i had no choice but to hire a maid. When circumstances force you to a corner, you choose the next best solution and move on - unless you are prepared to quit your job.

Things will work out - give it time....and u must be strong so that you can look after your baby. When you are stressed out, it will be tough to express milk for your baby.....listen to music to relax, talk to friends, hubby etc.

You can do it and get over these hurdles, just like i did.

Jia You!

 

[CYC]

Dear friends,

Would you be interested to attend a free play with your family and friends?

The Mental Wellness Service at KK Hospital is proud to present to you a public awareness play on maternal depression: "When the Bough Breaks". It is produced by The Necessary Stage, featuring Karen Tan. It tells the story of a new mother, Susan, who struggles with Postpartum Depression, and her recovery journey.

Depression affects about one in 10 women during the childbearing period. It impacts not only the mother-and-child relationship, but also the rest of the family. Understanding the tumultuous journey of maternal depression helps families cope with this common situation.

There are two runs to the play, one in KK Hospital (12 Nov, 12nn) and one at Nanyang Polytechnic Auditorium (27 Nov, 10am).

We would also be giving out free limited edition guide book "Diary of a Mother" - a compilation of real life experiences on Perinatal Depression, shared by our courageous and gracious group of women. Dont't miss this great opportunity!

Please call 6394 2205 for more information or to register your seat. Admission is free, but please call to register.

 

[Fisherman's Friend]

U can speak to ur gynae and tell her what u r gg thru and u need professional help. I also did the same thing. I'm now preggy with my number 2, due in 2 weeks time. But I did not want to have this pregnancy at first,it's hubby who wanted it. My 1st is 18 mths and I had been taking care of her all along, on top of that,I was working full time all these while till recently I got terminated when I'm about 7mths preggy.

The reason y I dun wana get preggy again is coz I'm staying with my mil,bil and my hubby's granny. There is totally no privacy in the house, and his granny smoke like nobody business in the house! Basically when I'm home,I'll just lock myself n my gal in the room. Furthermore, nobody does the housework, I got to do it myself. Imagine all the stress I was facing that time. So when I know I was preggy. I brokedown. I started to throw temper at my hubby alot coz I felt it's his fault. I withdraw myself frm everyone,I'm unhappy everyday.
Eventually I realized I cun continue like this,coz whenever I look at my 1st,I felt so unfair towards her. Till now,I'm still seeing the shrink and on medication. I wun say I'm ok now coz I wun know how things will be after birth,all I can say is at least I got someone to speak to,someone to advice me n empathized with me.

Dun wait le,faster talk to ur gynae ,for the sake of urself n ur bb.

 

[keefu]

Fisherman's Friend: That's stressing for you furthermore you are pregnant and giving birth soon... :wong19:

Are you waiting for any flat right now? I can understand the urge to close the door and nt interacting with the in laws as I also can't imagine staying with my in laws for long even though they don't 'disturb' me when I occasionally dropped by to spend overnight with my hubby (we are staying apart now) till now since married, but their way of maintaining the household is an eyesore to me to the extend of nt even dare to go their kitchen to get a glass of water...

Are you staying in the same house for confinement as well? It will be even more stressful for you n hoped your hubby could find a better solution for this...

 

[Fisherman's Friend]

Fisherman's Friend: That's stressing for you furthermore you are pregnant and giving birth soon... :wong19:

Are you waiting for any flat right now? I can understand the urge to close the door and not interacting with the in laws as I also can't imagine staying with my in laws for long even though they dont't 'disturb' me when I occasionally dropped by to spend overnight with my hubby (we are staying apart now) till now since married, but their way of maintaining the household is an eyesore to me to the extend of not even dare to go their kitchen to get a glass of water...

Are you staying in the same house for confinement as well? It will be even more stressful for you n hoped your hubby could find a better solution for this...

It's very stressful, but we are waiting for the results for our flats balloting now, really hope we will get our own flat soon...my in laws' ways of maintaining the household is also a big eyesore...i had just given birth onthe 1st, and im back at my own place doing confinement. I can't imagine doing it over there!! i think i'll go crazy!!!:elvis:

 

[keefu]

It's very stressful, but we are waiting for the results for our flats balloting now, really hope we will get our own flat soon...my in laws' ways of maintaining the household is also a big eyesore...i had just given birth onthe 1st, and im back at my own place doing confinement. I can't imagine doing it over there!! i think i'll go crazy!!!:elvis:

Congrats on your newborn!!! I had my child delivered the day after yours ancing_wub: confinement also done in my own house but hired a confinement nanny. Last time mil say can help me take care of baby after ML and EVEN say want to do confinement for me though I already wanted a confinement nanny in the first place. Then luckily suddenly she told my hubby she back off all her plans saying she is nt fit enough to do it (I don't understand why she agree to do it in the first place), can't imagine if let her take care or do confinement will become what kind of scenario. Just enjoy your honeymoon confinement for this moment and see how it goes :001_302:

Yeah really hoped you can get a good number and have your own nest asap as I have also been through it twice before i was married but end up buying resale and having my first appointment soon as my pregnancy was unplanned and getting a house asap will be better for the well being of baby and the family instead of cramping in in laws place and tolerating their way of maintaining their house especially their kitchen which I cannot stand it!! Have you ever seen people placing their cooking wok on the kitchen floor....????