Mommy, I Want That Toy!


Believe it or not, children become more assertive than their parents today. Children suddenly seem to become aware and practice their rights by being so demanding to their parents- that, as if denying them of their wants means denying them of their rights. This situation: When the child shouts at her mom, and makes a horrible scene by putting up tantrums because he doesn’t get what he wants is not once in a blue moon.

As a matter of fact, this is becoming a trend. Children know how to negotiate with their parents, or worse, manipulate them. So, what do we do if we have to say no to our child’s request? That even if we can provide, we rather teach them the values of frugality, patience and hard work, That although it is heartbreaking for us, parents, whenever we have to say no to our children, we still keep our values intact and not submit to their desires. What are our options so that our children can understand whenever we say NO.

Here are some ways that we can use to keep our parental authority:

1. When you say No, mean it. dont’t hesitate or back down, mean it with a stern voice. If you giggle, brush the bad behavior off or leave it alone, your child is more likely to take advantage of you in the future. Saying No those first 100 times is worth it.

2. Dont’t bribe your child. Telling your child they will get a toy at the next store if they stop teasing their sibling, isn’t the best approach. Bribing your child only allows them to continue doing as they wish and getting away with that bad behavior.

3. Talk over the incident. Your child may not remember why they are being told No or that they were told No once before. If so, remind them why they cannot stay up late at night or fight with their sister. Help them understand their behavior and the consequences that come with their actions.

4. When you dont’t feel like saying No today, that sets you back one more day from your setting goals with your children’s behavior. Thus, it is important to act on it and be consistent on the things that you are disproving.

5. It is possible to cut down the number of times you must say no to your kids. That doesn’t make you weak, and it doesn’t mean you should ignore what you feel is right.When faced with a no, try to see if there is a compromise or adjustment that could be made to the child’s request. For example, your child wants to play outside, but her room is a mess. Offer the chance to play outside when the room is clean. The child wants a toy he sees at the store and you dont’t want to buy it. Offer him a chance to earn the money to buy it for himself by doing chores or being helpful around the house. Keep a chart to show progress. This kind of compromising keeps the parent in control and teaches the child about appropriate give and take. It won’t be long before your child is offering to do chores in exchange for getting what she wants.

In life, we seldom get everything we want whenever we want it. As a parent, saying no helps to teach your child responsibility, boundaries and delayed gratification. Explaining why you say no will help you build a strong and trusting relationship, even if you have to wait until the tantrum or crying is over.

Keep well.