Dr. Shefali Tsabary has a unique take on parenting — revolutionary, many say. The clinical psychologist, author and mother believes that the traditional methods of parenting are broken and that the way to raise happier, more conscious children is through an approach she calls “conscious parenting.” The idea behind conscious parenting, Dr. Shefali says, is not to strive for raising the perfect child or view children as the idealized version of ourselves, instead, Dr. Shefali urges parents to set aside their egos and celebrate the “ordinariness” of their children. “The ego wants everything around it to be grand and idealized. So even with our children, we don’t want them to simply be ordinary beings, fallible human beings. That’s what we are. We want them to be the greatest manifestation of ourselves,” Dr. Shefali says.
In this vein, Dr. Shefali says that many parents become swept up in the glory of their children winning that spelling bee, advancing in that soccer competition and otherwise rising in the ranks socially, athletically and academically. “Unless they’re winning the trophies and standing on the pedestals of glory, we will just completely not recognize them,” she explains. This ego-fueled focus prevents parents from seeing who their children truly are, which can only be realized if the parent is fully conscious of even the most ordinary daily routines.
“It’s in the ordinary moments of when they get up in the morning and when we help them brush their teeth and when they bend down to tie their laces, and when they stand up straight and look at themselves in the mirror,” Dr. Shefali says. “It’s all these moment-to-moment instances that call for connection.” (Huffington Post, 15/05/14)
On top of her amazing and unique view of parenting, see these 10 awesome and revolutionary things that you can learn fr Dr. Shefali as a parent:
. 1. “What they want has no price tag. What they want is our full, engaged presence.”
2. “Our children need to grow up with the awareness that who they are is worthy of celebration.”
3. “We can’t expect our children to be something that we aren’t willing to be ourselves.”
4. “Whenever we reprimand or discipline, we inevitably diminish honest communication.”
5. “Be the parent you need to be for your child, not the parent you think you should be.”
6. “Every interaction with our children is a reflection of our own relationship with ourselves.”
7. “It’s no surprise that we fail to tune into our children’s essence. How can we listen to them when so many of us barely listen to ourselves?”
8. “In all kinds of ways- if we are willing- our children take us into places in our heart we didn’t know existed.”
9. “When you parent, it’s crucial you realize you aren’t raising a “mini me” but a spirit throbbing withits own significance.”
10. “The parenting journey holds the potential to be a spiritually regenerative experience for both parent and child, where every moment is a meeting of spirits, and both parent and child appreciate that each dances on a spiritual path that’s unique, holding hands and yet alone.”