pink_daisy
Member
hi all,
does your mil stay with u n sometimes, your hubby n u fall out becoz of her?
does your mil stay with u n sometimes, your hubby n u fall out becoz of her?
do your hubby n u fall out becoz of your mil?
- Thread starter pink_daisy
- Start date
Spiralng
Well-Known Member
I think for me is the other way. My husband and MIL fall out becos of me. Bascially, I am quite a netural person. So whatever method or ways MIL wan, I just follow. My husband hv his own way of thinking. If I am caught in the middle, will get husband to go and thrash out with his mum and just let me know the conclusion.
CanCanMum
Moderator
i dun stay wif MIL but anything that i dun agree with will tell DH (not much la...coz we dun stay together....if really got arguments will be the issue of who looks after my sonnie ba....when she is in singapore)
den DH will go tell MIL
in dealing wif MIL-DIL relationships my DH is rather one-sided....unfair lols~~~
but its always to my advantage haha~~
coz he said "Lao Po = Yi Sheng Yi Shi"
den DH will go tell MIL
in dealing wif MIL-DIL relationships my DH is rather one-sided....unfair lols~~~
but its always to my advantage haha~~
coz he said "Lao Po = Yi Sheng Yi Shi"
HI....i am stayin w/ mil..... problems after problems. my hubby n i always fall out bcoz of her. my hubby is those hackcare type, he stil will stand by my side(but w/ no action taken). he will ask me to ignore his mum al tat but stt his mum is too much. Actually i oso didnt wan him to confront his mum or wat, i juz nd a listening ear. coz his mum always nag or do certain things when he is nt ard, so i cant expect my hubby to do anythin too (if nt she will noe i complain) haiz... is reali hard living w/ her...
pkshl
Active Member
i dun stay with my inlawsbut your hubby sounds juz like my hubby, will side me but hackcare type, when i complain abt his mum, he can say'aiya shes like tat 1 la' & no action taken. his mum knows my hubby is very easy-going & chin chye type, & she can tel him cannot everything give in to me & complain im so fussy!
adoncia
Member
i m staying my my ILs... i do have conflicts when my dd was born... after that i know, i just can't complain too much as it's useless. i m not home to monitor what they are doing 24 hours. hence, if i know something, i just simply can't say much. cuz even if i tell my hubby to tell my mil, it will not work... and because my dd is the first grandchild, they spoilt my dd.. so now, if my dd is naughty or something and make them lost at times, i will say, see la, spoil more lo. but, overall, i think i will have more prob with my fil cause he is more naggy and give in to my dd more...
pink_daisy
Member
i oso quarrelled with dh over my mil till almost divorce.. even if his mum is in the wrong, he oso cant do anything. tat time, i was in confinement period after delivering dd.. i told him to choose between his mum n me... he didnt take any actions so i smsed my sis-inlaws tat dh n i r divorcing coz of their mum...in the end, they brought mil to stay with one of mil's daughters (she stays next blk across the street)... nw dh feels he's an unfillial son n things haven been gg well between dh n me.. there seem to hv some thorns between us.
apollo
Well-Known Member
i dun stay with my in-laws but with my parents cos in-laws hse not enough room and we're still waiting for flat...
i can say i'm so heng tt their hse got no room... my mil is okay but my fil is more "demanding" type.. wan everyone to listen to him.. so if i were to stay with them sure everyday quarrel with hubby...
but so far so good la... hopefully when bb is born, they wont interfere much on hw i take care of bb, wat buffet we order for bb's full mth and hw we educate him lo...
i can say i'm so heng tt their hse got no room... my mil is okay but my fil is more "demanding" type.. wan everyone to listen to him.. so if i were to stay with them sure everyday quarrel with hubby...
but so far so good la... hopefully when bb is born, they wont interfere much on hw i take care of bb, wat buffet we order for bb's full mth and hw we educate him lo...
hi pkshl, is reali hard rite. my mil wont complain to my hubby. she will start when my sister in law or those aunties r here, even i m in e rm. so is reali hard to respect her. i wil juz shut myself in e rm w/ my gal, but she start sayin i lock my gal up juz like in jail...OMG. she oso dun like me to go bk to my mum's hse. she wil start givin u attitude, n faces, but my sister in law always cum bk to her hse. y cant she b more reasonable... haiz.
:tno:reali dun understand...
:tno:reali dun understand...
BzBaby
New Member
i m oso staying with my ILs.. but they most of the time not at home coz they own a business so hardly talk to them.. n coz my hubby is youngest, they alwez let him hav his way.. :wink: so if i got any complaints i wil go to hubby 1st.. but i'm very easy-goin, so far so gd.. :001_302:
LoVeS
Well-Known Member
To be frank even though i am in the same shoes as u but i would nt ask him to choose between his mom or me. How to choose? 1 is wife tat is giving him children while another 1 is sum1 who gif birth to him n even raise him up. Of coz he will feel unfillial
I dun live with PILs so I guess life is much easier for me. But even b4 we reached the point of toking about marriage, I made it very clear to DH that if we reach that point, our parents will not be staying with us unless they are really old and infirmed. DH is the only son. So had to make that clear. Haha.
Tho not living together but still have some conflicts here and there lah. But I find that it is not worth it to fight with DH due to ILs. It also boils down to how well your DH knows how to handle his parents.
Tho not living together but still have some conflicts here and there lah. But I find that it is not worth it to fight with DH due to ILs. It also boils down to how well your DH knows how to handle his parents.
we dun stay together but if she here, she will start talking bad abt me in front of DH. Ever quarrelled with hubby till i cannot tahan (cos happen every time she came) i asked for divorce. Told him if he want to start a quarrel of
wat his mum said, we better not together. I am so tire of her.
wat his mum said, we better not together. I am so tire of her.
pink_daisy
Member
sometimes these mother-inlaws n father-inlaws very stubborn one..they feel they had been thr b4 thus able to handle things better than us so they do not accept watever we said... when my ds was abt 6mths old, mil took care care of him..one day, while preparing for his morning bath in those traditional red colour 'bath tub' (especially for babies type), she dropped ds in the toilet n my ds got a big 'bun' on his forehead!!!! she said that as ds was crying, she couldn't leave him in the playpen or the babycot so she had to carry him in one hand n on the other hand, she was carrying a hot kettle of hot water... the older folks like to boil water over the gas stove n use the hot water to prepare hot bath for baby instead of using the water from water heater... u see la! wat if she slipped n fell n the hot water poured onto both of them????!!! brainless old woman!!always assuming she's right..........after tat incident, how to trust her to handle things well?? she told dh she hugged ds n cried (wat's the point of crying??!!!) dh didnt blame her or anything... he didnt say anything!!!!!!
apollo
Well-Known Member
OMG tt's TOO DANGEROUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
pink_daisy
Member
i noe i shldnt make him choose but really no choice.... i really cant get along with his mum n his mum oso doesnt try her best to get along with me... i had mild depression during my 1st confinement period n doesnt want to feel depressed for my 2nd confinement..for we gals to married to a guy, we not only hv to adjust n adapt ourselves to our dh's lifestyle n his other bad habits (the snoring, the way of squeezing the toothpaste out, the way we hang our clothes out to dry etc etc), we oso hv to adjust to our inlaws or even their siblings if they r staying with us.. the ratio is 1: 3 or mayb more but for them is diffierent.. they hv been staying with one another for so long so nw they only need to adapt to us... but mil doesnt bother.... i never expect her to do any hsehold chores but the least she can do is, not to make the hse untidy or dirty.. (sigh) there r really alot n alot of unhappiness n disagreements between mil n me.....
pink_daisy
Member
yup! i was so stunned n upset when i saw my ds's big bun.... he's only 6mths old....... i really wan to strangle her then! so brainless....... it doesnt hurt to let him cry for a while.....juz go prepare the bath then carry him up.... btw, she keeps saying her leg pain here n there...u noe la, old folks usually got leg pain or knee problem so the possibility that she might dropped the hot water kettle is not zero.
pkshl
Active Member
:nah: u should tel yr mil off!
for us mummies to conceive & carry a baby for 10mths is not an easy task(this is what my mum always tel me). just like my mil wanted to take care of my baby but she already has 2 young kids 2yrs & 1yr & still want to take care of my newborn. i told my hubby no lor cos she cant cope & what if she neglect BB cos newborn very demanding to take care. endup my mum talked to hubby & heng he agreed to let my mum take care.
pls tel yr hubby to talk to his mum, this is too much!
Last edited:
ya, wat happened hd happened. no pt huggin n cryin. she sld realised her mistk n dun do it again. if is reali hard to tel her off. u can hv a heart to heart tok w/ ur huuby n let him noe hw u fel... stt i do ask my dh down for a walk n hv a gd tok w/ him. (when i m at my mum place, cant rest assure to let my mil tk care of my dd) it might nt wrk always or for everyone. but no harm tryin. hopefully things will b fine for u. =)