I need advice...what should i do

[Dianna]

Hi mummies,

I have long to post this tread but i have doubt..
Its about my bro IL...

It happen since 3 years ago and it still happen just yesterday..
Back in 2007

Me and hubby decided to rent out our current 4 room flat coz i was pregnant with my 2nd daugther and was experiencing bad morning sickness, vomitting almost the whole day, even when drinking plain water..I could not cook or do housechores..furthermore, my 1st daughter is on toilet train..It is very tiring for me..
So my sis offers to let us stay with her 5 room flat..she has no child at that time..just her and bro IL in that house..so we agree..
But it is one of my greatest mistake, as i had bad experience with bro IL..
In the eye of the whole family..(aunt, uncle, mum, dad) he is very innocent and caring (he has the innocent and humble type of face.. no joke) but after living together with them for the past 3 years..i really hate him very deeply till now, I swear i will never get to forgive him for what he have done to me..

What happen..
Scene 1
he (bro IL) is working 2 shift (1 week morning, 1 week nite). whenever he works nite shift, every morning when he came back, sis ask him go market with her..he will not want to go..after sis went out..he will deliberately come into my room and ask me to massage him..which i didn't..

Scene 2
whenever sis not at home or sleeping in the room.. he will take off his pant and show his penis..and just try to stand on my way..
Like i was washing dishes, he will stand in front of the toilet doing that..i will dare not try to stare at him and run to my room.

Scene 3
There is one time when sis is sleeping in the room, i wanted to go to the toilet.. will need to pass the living room..i saw him mastubating..OMG!

There is alot more..there is even one time when he tries to hug me.. I am so afraid of him..whenever he comes home, it will make me shiver (no joke) I am so afraid that i hid a knife in my room seriously. At first, i dare not tell hubby, im afraid that he might end up fighting with him..until one incident where its beyond my limit..
He is holding his penis, when my 1st daughter (3years old then) is playing right in front of her..I just grab her and run to my room and locked it..That is when i decided to tell my hubby..But luckily my hubby advise me to think wisely..coz at that time sis is pregnant with 1st daughter after 5 years of marriage..so hubby told me to just stay in my room whenever hubby working..everyday i will leave in shiver..everytime i heard him comes home i will peek at the small space between the door and floor, afraid the tries to break in..he got the keys to all the rooms in the house..I am very sad and frigtened..its my worst nightmare.
I did not tell sis or anyone else for the sake of the baby..

I have already moved back to my own house this year..But it does not end there, He did it to my 6 years old younger sister too!! Now at least i have somebody to cling hands with if time comes for me to tell someone bout him..

But what worries me is that will he do it to my niece..i kept worrying bout the little one..what should i do....

 

[fidzZzy]

Hi mummies,

I have long to post this tread but i have doubt..
Its about my bro IL...

It happen since 3 years ago and it still happen just yesterday..
Back in 2007

Me and hubby decided to rent out our current 4 room flat coz i was pregnant with my 2nd daugther and was experiencing bad morning sickness, vomitting almost the whole day, even when drinking plain water..I could not cook or do housechores..furthermore, my 1st daughter is on toilet train..It is very tiring for me..
So my sis offers to let us stay with her 5 room flat..she has no child at that time..just her and bro IL in that house..so we agree..
But it is one of my greatest mistake, as i had bad experience with bro IL..
In the eye of the whole family..(aunt, uncle, mum, dad) he is very innocent and caring (he has the innocent and humble type of face.. no joke) but after living together with them for the past 3 years..i really hate him very deeply till now, I swear i will never get to forgive him for what he have done to me..

What happen..
Scene 1
he (bro IL) is working 2 shift (1 week morning, 1 week nite). whenever he works nite shift, every morning when he came back, sis ask him go market with her..he will not want to go..after sis went out..he will deliberately come into my room and ask me to massage him..which i didn't..

Scene 2
whenever sis not at home or sleeping in the room.. he will take off his pant and show his penis..and just try to stand on my way..
Like i was washing dishes, he will stand in front of the toilet doing that..i will dare not try to stare at him and run to my room.

Scene 3
There is one time when sis is sleeping in the room, i wanted to go to the toilet.. will need to pass the living room..i saw him mastubating..OMG!

There is alot more..there is even one time when he tries to hug me.. I am so afraid of him..whenever he comes home, it will make me shiver (no joke) I am so afraid that i hid a knife in my room seriously. At first, i dare not tell hubby, im afraid that he might end up fighting with him..until one incident where its beyond my limit..
He is holding his penis, when my 1st daughter (3years old then) is playing right in front of her..I just grab her and run to my room and locked it..That is when i decided to tell my hubby..But luckily my hubby advise me to think wisely..coz at that time sis is pregnant with 1st daughter after 5 years of marriage..so hubby told me to just stay in my room whenever hubby working..everyday i will leave in shiver..everytime i heard him comes home i will peek at the small space between the door and floor, afraid the tries to break in..he got the keys to all the rooms in the house..I am very sad and frigtened..its my worst nightmare.
I did not tell sis or anyone else for the sake of the baby..

I have already moved back to my own house this year..But it does not end there, He did it to my 6 years old younger sister too!! Now at least i have somebody to cling hands with if time comes for me to tell someone bout him..

But what worries me is that will he do it to my niece..i kept worrying bout the little one..what should i do....

omg! sth is rly wrong wif ur BIL! u shld hv jz reported him. wat if he does dat to his own daughter too?

 

[angelwendy]

Hi mummies,

I have long to post this tread but i have doubt..
Its about my bro IL...

It happen since 3 years ago and it still happen just yesterday..
Back in 2007

Me and hubby decided to rent out our current 4 room flat coz i was pregnant with my 2nd daugther and was experiencing bad morning sickness, vomitting almost the whole day, even when drinking plain water..I could not cook or do housechores..furthermore, my 1st daughter is on toilet train..It is very tiring for me..
So my sis offers to let us stay with her 5 room flat..she has no child at that time..just her and bro IL in that house..so we agree..
But it is one of my greatest mistake, as i had bad experience with bro IL..
In the eye of the whole family..(aunt, uncle, mum, dad) he is very innocent and caring (he has the innocent and humble type of face.. no joke) but after living together with them for the past 3 years..i really hate him very deeply till now, I swear i will never get to forgive him for what he have done to me..

What happen..
Scene 1
he (bro IL) is working 2 shift (1 week morning, 1 week nite). whenever he works nite shift, every morning when he came back, sis ask him go market with her..he will not want to go..after sis went out..he will deliberately come into my room and ask me to massage him..which i didn't..

Scene 2
whenever sis not at home or sleeping in the room.. he will take off his pant and show his penis..and just try to stand on my way..
Like i was washing dishes, he will stand in front of the toilet doing that..i will dare not try to stare at him and run to my room.

Scene 3
There is one time when sis is sleeping in the room, i wanted to go to the toilet.. will need to pass the living room..i saw him mastubating..OMG!

There is alot more..there is even one time when he tries to hug me.. I am so afraid of him..whenever he comes home, it will make me shiver (no joke) I am so afraid that i hid a knife in my room seriously. At first, i dare not tell hubby, im afraid that he might end up fighting with him..until one incident where its beyond my limit..
He is holding his penis, when my 1st daughter (3years old then) is playing right in front of her..I just grab her and run to my room and locked it..That is when i decided to tell my hubby..But luckily my hubby advise me to think wisely..coz at that time sis is pregnant with 1st daughter after 5 years of marriage..so hubby told me to just stay in my room whenever hubby working..everyday i will leave in shiver..everytime i heard him comes home i will peek at the small space between the door and floor, afraid the tries to break in..he got the keys to all the rooms in the house..I am very sad and frigtened..its my worst nightmare.
I did not tell sis or anyone else for the sake of the baby..

I have already moved back to my own house this year..But it does not end there, He did it to my 6 years old younger sister too!! Now at least i have somebody to cling hands with if time comes for me to tell someone bout him..

But what worries me is that will he do it to my niece..i kept worrying bout the little one..what should i do....

OMG how can he do such things to u & ur sis... i got almost the same things happening when i was younger.... but it already stop long time ago so i decide to keep slient... but for ur case he is still carry on with wat he is doing i think i should let ur sis know that.. cause this kind of men.. u will never know wat he will do.. now is just showing his penis.. wat if one day he cannot control himself & rape ur smaller sis?? or even go to ur house & rape u?? cause he will think that since u know wat kind of person he is.. & u can keep slient about this.. he will think that he can do wat ever he wans to both of u... meet ur sis somewhere & also bring ur smaller sis & hubby also.. talk slowly for her listen... even if u dont let her know now cause u scare of hurting her... but wat if something worst happen?? she even cannot take it.. & will start blaming u for not telling her soon... so think about it... i know is hard.. or even ur sis might not believe u... but u gotta try ur best to stop this.. as this will affect alot of people life.... he still get wat he deserve... so don't worry too much... ~ Sayang ~ i know is hard to deal with this kind of things.. & the hurt will be very deep & long to heal.. now i'm healed already.. so i hope soon u will be healed too.. good luck...

 

[Dianna]

thanks alot fidzzzy and angelwendy,

appreciate the advise, i thought of doing that too..or would it be more appropriate that someone older gets involve like my mum..or uncle or aunty...
>>angelwendy
after reading ur reply to me..i cried..yes i do..
yes im hurt, im very sad..i try to bear this feeling for the pass few years, i do not know whom should i talk to...by him doing this, he just treated me like those geylang prostitude..i have my pride..y must he do that to me..

 

[Ting]

he is a blardy sick man n u shld report him to the authorities right NOW.
tell your sister n your family abt his sick act n CALL THE POLICE.
better yet, VIDEO IT DOWN n then report!!


your sister is only 6, what if he does something to her rather than showing his bleddy dick at her?
r u gg to be responsible when tt happens?
u r an adult u r alr so scared, what abt your sister who is so young n defenceless?
if he does it again, get a knife or something heavy n whack it hard!
what a psychopath!

if your sis ever gets mad at u for doing it, then something is WRONG with her too!
im sure she cant tolerate her hubby doing this to u n your younger sister!



PLS GO DO SOMETHING ABT IT B4 ANYTHING BAD HAPPENS..

 

[angelwendy]

thanks alot fidzzzy and angelwendy,

appreciate the advise, i thought of doing that too..or would it be more appropriate that someone older gets involve like my mum..or uncle or aunty...
>>angelwendy
after reading your reply to me..i cried..yes i do..
yes im hurt, im very sad..i try to bear this feeling for the pass few years, i do not know whom should i talk to...by him doing this, he just treated me like those geylang prostitude..i have my pride..y must he do that to me..

Yup i understand wat u r going thru.. but u gotta be stong for ur sis & urself.. ya i think is a good ideal for bring someone more older.. to protect urself too... just talk it out...

 

[Ting]

n also i feel that he is taking advantage of u bcos u allow him to.
if u hv reported n warned him the first time, he would NVR hv the guts to do it the second time.

 

[Dianna]

thanks ting,

yes u are rite..now its my fault not to report him the first time he did it..
not to worry i will definitely do something..
btw my younger sister is 16 years old..not 6
thanks all for the reply..

 

[Ting]

no worries..
good luck to u.. hope all will be fine n tt guy will be punished for his sick acts!

 

[angelwendy]

thanks ting,

yes you are rite..now its my fault not to report him the first time he did it..
not to worry i will definitely do something..
btw my younger sister is 16 years old..not 6
thanks all for the reply..

Hang on there ya... ~ Pats... ~ let us know the outcome.. take care.. anything just post here.. we will reply...

 

[edy]

Please REPORT this to police immediately before any innocent souls get hurts by his sick mind/activities!

Please do it ASAP.

OMG ... He deserves to be beaten up and jailed for life.

 

[Dianna]

ya true..he deserve all that..
I must think twice before coming to a solution..
this involve many life
sis, niece...
sometimes its easier sad than done..
but i do realise that this really could not wait any longer..

 

[catherlyn]

PLS report him.... I was victimized from pri 1 till pri 5.... By my aunt in law n he still is my aunt in law... As I was young so i don kn wat he did was wrong n mind u even my cousin ganna it... Nw we wonder if his daughter our cousin was victimize anot as sometime we felt tat she look withdraw...
So pls before anything happen report him... U won't wan he become those that we c frequently in the news.

 

[diymummy]

I agree with the rest that you should report him.

Though his wife is pregnant after 5 yrs of marriage, is such behaviour going to be acceptable to her? Would it be fair to her if she is kept in the dark of her husband's behaviour? Worse, what if he victimises his own child next time?

From what I am reading he seems to be getting bolder each time.

Now there're a few witnesses. Get your younger sis together to the police station to make a report. Whenever you need to be in the house with him, you can use a phone camera to film his acts discreetly if possible. I think that your witness accounts as well as film (if you manage to take any) would be evidence enough.

 

[Renzie]

I agree, first talk to your sister about his actions. She is now being kept in the dark, plus you'll need to consider for your younger sister's sake as well. She's being exposed to him, and being so young she probably worried what would happen if she talk to someone. And are you going to risk him having to molest or rape your younger sister? Talk to your sister nicely and tell her what is going on. Bring your younger sister along to talk to your sister as well, but before that sit your younger sister down and talk to her see if its possible for her to open up.

Then inform your parents as well, so that at least they know what's happening to your younger sister, and bring your younger sister to the police station to make a report.

Be strong, this type of monsters should be put away. Its better if you could get some evidence like taking pictures if possible whenever he's exposing himself and such. Thus no1 will doubt your words.

 

[Koala bear mummy]

He is s Sickening bloody basxxxx! DO NOT Let him go scot free, by keeping this to yourselves. I am surprised indeed that your hubby 'advised' you to be 'wise' and both of you basically did nothing about this. As a result, 1) you were victimized 2) you have condoned him (indirectly) to continue victimizing others 3) God knows who else will be next after your niece 4) victims possibly scarred for life. Above all, such sick lewd behaviour is simply wrong and has to be stopped.

You may wish to talk or sound out your sister first if you do not wish to 'shock' her by suddenly bringing in the authorities. It's too bad she married such a disgusting character..Additional evidence (besides the niece's testimony) will be very helpful against the disgusting man. Hopefully, the wrongs will be corrected. PLEASE do your part.

 

[sean-tan]

OMG, he's sick.... e innocent face is a monster. I totally agree w/ e others here tat u sld report him. let him get wat he deserved. you muz be sufferin deeply. pls tk gd care of urself. *hugs*

 

[Ashbaby]

Pls expose him immediately before anyone get hurt. For the sake of ur unborn niece too!! You nvr know what this stupid desperado will do to her.

 

[mrsmorgan]

i agree with e rest.. i think u shldn't hide this frm everyone anymore.. what if 1 day he tries to molest or worse, rape ur 16yr-old sis or smeone else?? pardon me for being so blunt but better be safe than sorry.. *hugs*

 

[ping26]

I think you should let your pregnant sister make an informed decision - pregnant or not, it's her decision whether to leave him or not.

It's her life. You should not keep her in the dark.

If she knew abt her husband, she may not have become pregnant in the 1st place. Or he may have gotten some help earlier if she chooses to give him a chance.

I think you should make a police report as he has outraged the modesty of both you & your sister and probably some other girls (unknown to you). If the first victim had reported him, there would be no other victims.

What if he has already molested your young daughter??? have u tried asking her? Has your husband or sister have left your daughter alone in his company?
He may very well molest/rape his own daughter in future if he continues to get away with his crimes.

If your sister really loves him, she'll probably still give him a chance after he serves jail term. He has to be responsible for his actions & maybe become a better person. If he hasn't raped anyone, the sentence will be short.

It's very hard to reform sex offenders without jail & caning. esp your BIL does not even appear have feelings of guilt.
And he has excellent acting skills.