dh engage with prostitues

[babylove]

recently, i found out that dh visited the SG Sex forum, and engage twice with the woman from Thailand.

I felt so hurt, and tried committing suicide twice.. the second incident he tried to protect me and got hurt instead.. bleeded so much that he was hospitalised and went thru OT.

now we are together again, he asked for forgiveness, but i cant seem to forget.. why? i hate myself for forgiving him..we have 3 beautiful girls and 1 boy.. they are still young..

how i wish all these are just a nightmare, but he told me is true..

now and then, when we have sex, i will ask him what position he did with the woman, what they do, and etc.. m i crazy?

i think i m going crazy soon..

 

[LoVeS]

Can understand how u feel n the way u behaving now. Given to me i wont tolerate such thing frm my DH. Doing such thing is irresponsible toward family, been a husband it is bad as he is married BUT do both of u still engage in sex? But then even if both of u dun, he aso should do such thing n he is risking himself n family towards AIDS.

Think properly if u are willing to forgive him or not. If u are willing to forgive him then dun mention abt the incident anymore n i tink it is better for both of u go for consulting as tis incident already put strain on the marriage.

 

[JenLee98]

I think ur suicide attempt sort of wake him up .....since u had forgiven him, then shd put all the past behind, don't think & bring it up again. All the best.

 

[babylove]

Can understand how u feel n the way u behaving now. Given to me i wont tolerate such thing frm my DH. Doing such thing is irresponsible toward family, been a husband it is bad as he is married BUT do both of u still engage in sex? But then even if both of u dun, he aso should do such thing n he is risking himself n family towards AIDS.

Think properly if u are willing to forgive him or not. If u are willing to forgive him then dun mention abt the incident anymore n i tink it is better for both of u go for consulting as tis incident already put strain on the marriage.

we still have sex prior to the incident.. just that he need it very often.. he blamed it on me, for spending too much time with the children, and neglecting him..

 

[babylove]

I think ur suicide attempt sort of wake him up .....since u had forgiven him, then shd put all the past behind, don't think & bring it up again. All the best.

i tried not to think of it again toom, but is difficult.. can someone recommend a good marriage counsellor?

 

[tommyBoi]

Hey babylove, do u mind his past r/s b4 u when he had sex wif his ex gfs? I agreed wif Love that since u decided to forgive him, u shld forget abt the whole issue. No one is perfect in this world, the best thing abt ur dh is that he is brave enough to admit his mistake and quit it.

As a man, I can understand how ur dh feel.. When the need arise and the temptation is there, he may not be able to resist it, but most importantly, he used protection and there is no string attached.

I have a female fren who alway make sure her dh goes for long overseas work attachement wif condoms. She said she dont mind her dh to engage in sex when she nt ard, but he must wear a condom and no feeling invloved. I am quite amazed by her way of dealing wif her dh. Not every woman can be like her, but she has a point in her ways.

Ur dh even bleed for u.. there r many men out there, who I had seen, r much worst than ur dh.. so do think carefully, ur dh is still a good man among the rest. Life is short... once forgive, we shldnt be looking back. Dont do foolish things anymore, u will hurt the 4 kids and ur dh. When there is problem, we face it, this is life. Cherish ur time wif him and ur kids.

 

[LoVeS]

we still have sex prior to the incident.. just that he need it very often.. he blamed it on me, for spending too much time with the children, and neglecting him..

He shouldnt blame u n take tt u spend too much time wif kids as an xcuse to go for pros. He haf to understand ur situation as well for been tired etc etc BUT are u a SAHM?

My dh n me aso seldom ML bcoz i am always too tired already n i am not afraid to admit we been at least 3wks+ nv ML already BUT tt doesnt give men the xcuse to find PROS n at least my dh didnt do tt coz he understand my situation for been a SAHM as how tired i am etc etc.

 

[LoVeS]

Hey babylove, do u mind his past r/s b4 u when he had sex wif his ex gfs? I agreed wif Love that since u decided to forgive him, u shld forget abt the whole issue. No one is perfect in this world, the best thing abt ur dh is that he is brave enough to admit his mistake and quit it.

As a man, I can understand how ur dh feel.. When the need arise and the temptation is there, he may not be able to resist it, but most importantly, he used protection and there is no string attached.

I have a female fren who alway make sure her dh goes for long overseas work attachement wif condoms. She said she dont mind her dh to engage in sex when she nt ard, but he must wear a condom and no feeling invloved. I am quite amazed by her way of dealing wif her dh. Not every woman can be like her, but she has a point in her ways.

Ur dh even bleed for u.. there r many men out there, who I had seen, r much worst than ur dh.. so do think carefully, ur dh is still a good man among the rest. Life is short... once forgive, we shldnt be looking back. Dont do foolish things anymore, u will hurt the 4 kids and ur dh. When there is problem, we face it, this is life. Cherish ur time wif him and ur kids.

TB there is a diff between ex-gf n pros leh. PROS chances of having AIDS is so much higher lor n might even risk his family as well.

But then true enuff, bblove if u already or even forgive him already then juz let things pass n dun bring it up anymore coz after all u choose to forgive him already BUT wats the point of bringing past up? Why keep thinking abt it when u already forgive him? I knw it is easy to forgive but not easy to forget which take time for u BUT u muz learn to let go.

 

[shopaholic]

Please dont hurt yourself anymore. Committing suicide does not solve the problems at all. You hv 4 kids and they need you very much. Please be strong for your children. Hugs.

What your husband did was wrong. If you're prepared to forgive, then dont look back. Otherwise, it will keep haunting you and cause a deep scar in your r'ship. I think marriage counselling is one positive way to mend the marriage.

Maybe you can contact Fei Yue Community Services at the link below.

Fei Yue Community Services - FSC

Or SOS at 1800-221 4444 if you need someone to talk to.

 

[tommyBoi]

TB there is a diff between ex-gf n pros leh. PROS chances of having AIDS is so much higher lor n might even risk his family as well.

But then true enuff, bblove if u already or even forgive him already then juz let things pass n dun bring it up anymore coz after all u choose to forgive him already BUT wats the point of bringing past up? Why keep thinking abt it when u already forgive him? I knw it is easy to forgive but not easy to forget which take time for u BUT u muz learn to let go.

Hey Loves, long time no c, hows everything? Happy New year to u!! :001_302:
Of coz there is a different betw pros and gf... but babylove seem to care very much on wat sex position her dh engage in, thats y i ask her this qn lor.. Anyway, I really salute to her dh, a man who can admit his mistake and change it is worth for me to respect, nt many man can do that.

 

[xiaodaisy]

once a uncle asked me " would u rather ur hb have affair or rather he go visit pros?"

so i say " of cos have affair lah, cos i tink pros is dirty mah.. "

den tat uncle told me "stupid girl, u should choose him visit pros den have affair, cos once having affair means sex = feelings whereas visit pros is sex = deal .. "

well i know sometimes some guys maybe will also have affair wif pros but its less in percentage maybe.. cos i heard dh say b4 pros is dirty so maybe not mani guys would wan pros as mistress, maybe u can tink in a better way tat ur dh didnt have mistress but oni visit pros ??

maybe tat will help u of not being sad ?? aniwae sorry if anyone dont like wat i said.. do take care n pls dont do anything foolish anymore as u say u have 4 kids n dey still so young rite.. tink of future tat is waiting for u =) gd luck n all e best to u

 

[Mrs Xie]

Would rather forgive my dh for the first time, but, never for the second... at least now, I still haven't found out any from him. Would forgive the first time cos I love him, I love my dd, I love my family, therefore I would give him a second chance which is also the last, and would swear to myself never allow the incident to haunt me from there onwards

If my dh is to commit a second adultery, or having sex with another woman regardless she's a pros, I would give up on him, but would never abandon my dd...... This is the extend I can go.... So, I can only praise you for being forgiving towards your dh and encourage you to walk out of the nightmare. To maintain a family is never easy, but at least we try our best.

Hope everything would goes well to you and live on bravely......

 

[LoVeS]

Hey Loves, long time no c, hows everything? Happy New year to u!! :001_302:
Of coz there is a different betw pros and gf... but babylove seem to care very much on wat sex position her dh engage in, thats y i ask her this qn lor.. Anyway, I really salute to her dh, a man who can admit his mistake and change it is worth for me to respect, nt many man can do that.

Yeah long time no c ~ belated happy new yr to u too.

Anyway babylove seem to care it is bcoz the person who engage sex wif her dh is not her tats why she mind alot abt the details. Yes admit his mistake is gd n take alot of courage BUT by pushing the blame to babylove juz bcoz she is tired etc etc tts why they dun often ML is not a xcuse for her DH to use lor. Sumhow or rather i dun see it as ADMIT MISTAKE coz how can u admit mistake but then go push the blame to sum1 else for the mistake u done? It doesnt seem like he is sincere sorry abt it.

 

[tommyBoi]

Yeah long time no c ~ belated happy new yr to u too.

Anyway babylove seem to care it is bcoz the person who engage sex wif her dh is not her tats why she mind alot abt the details. Yes admit his mistake is gd n take alot of courage BUT by pushing the blame to babylove juz bcoz she is tired etc etc tts why they dun often ML is not a xcuse for her DH to use lor. Sumhow or rather i dun see it as ADMIT MISTAKE coz how can u admit mistake but then go push the blame to sum1 else for the mistake u done? It doesnt seem like he is sincere sorry abt it.

This is the part i salute ... :001_302:
"the second incident he tried to protect me and got hurt instead.. bleeded so much that he was hospitalised and went thru OT"

I think he just want to tell babylove how he feel, dont think he is pushing any blame to her. At least he speak up rather than keeping to himself, right? :001_302:

 

[elaine01]

Understand. Had been your shoes.

DH's boss brought him into JB for golf. His colleague brought him to "mens' paradise". After a few drinks, a thai women offer her special service. He couldnt resist the temptation & succumbed. After everything, then he regretted his act. He confessed cos we wanted to conceive but he worry he contract any disease from the pro & passed to me. We had to wait 6 months, to make sure he's clear from HIV before proceeding with our plans.

Though DS is already 25 months old, we still do ML. But I'm still reminded of his infidelity. It's really painful to know your DH ML to another woman.

When the wife is pregnant is the time men will stray.

Now my trust towards him is no longer 100%, 70% at most.

 

[elaine01]

once a uncle asked me " would u rather ur hb have affair or rather he go visit pros?"

so i say " of cos have affair lah, cos i tink pros is dirty mah.. "

den tat uncle told me "stupid girl, u should choose him visit pros den have affair, cos once having affair means sex = feelings whereas visit pros is sex = deal .. "

well i know sometimes some guys maybe will also have affair wif pros but its less in percentage maybe.. cos i heard dh say b4 pros is dirty so maybe not mani guys would wan pros as mistress, maybe u can tink in a better way tat ur dh didnt have mistress but oni visit pros ??

maybe tat will help u of not being sad ?? aniwae sorry if anyone dont like wat i said.. do take care n pls dont do anything foolish anymore as u say u have 4 kids n dey still so young rite.. tink of future tat is waiting for u =) gd luck n all e best to u

pros may be dirty but no feelings. affair got feelings. worse. if feelings go deeper & deeper, how?

 

[elaine01]

Can understand how u feel n the way u behaving now. Given to me i wont tolerate such thing frm my DH. Doing such thing is irresponsible toward family, been a husband it is bad as he is married BUT do both of u still engage in sex? But then even if both of u dun, he aso should do such thing n he is risking himself n family towards AIDS.

Think properly if u are willing to forgive him or not. If u are willing to forgive him then dun mention abt the incident anymore n i tink it is better for both of u go for consulting as tis incident already put strain on the marriage.

we did engage someone to counsell us. i know i still love him but it hurts badly everytime we ML & reminds me that DH has touched another woman.

 

[xiaodaisy]

pros may be dirty but no feelings. affair got feelings. worse. if feelings go deeper & deeper, how?

ya tats why tat uncle told me to choose pros rather den affair.. cos tat time to me i never tot of tat mah haha..

 

[babylove]

xiaodaisy : i agree with the uncle too, is better for them to engage in pros than affair.. cause affair=feelings

elaine01 : can i ask which counsellor did u and ur hubby goes to?.. too be frank, my trust for him is 0% now... cant bring myself to trust him anymore..

tommyBoi : i believe that he did not have sex with his sex (1 only).. we are childhood friends..

LoVeS : thanks for understanding me, i feel so hurt and depressed, i have lost even the basic confidence in myself (my looks, dressing, and everything in me)..

Mrs Xie : i decided to forgive him becos of my love for him.. we have been together for 20years, married for 10years.. (more than 2/3 of my life)

shopaholic : thanks i know.. but i m still trying to forgive and forget.. is really difficult.. not easy..

thanks to all... i wish i could just forget everything.. yesterday was at the Holy Communion, to admit our sins and seek Him for forgiveness.. I have decided to forgive him totally now and will try to forget the incident, is tought.. i ask dh for his support and patience too.. he had ask for 2 SEX services from 2 different woman from Thailand.. not one.. we used to have sex abt once a week.. now i tried to submit to him and accomodate him, and now is abt 3-4 times a week... he has high sex crave.. he can have them daily.. what can i do? we have 4 young kids, i m a working mother.. no maid, so after work i need to spend time with my kids..

 

[elaine01]

xiaodaisy : i agree with the uncle too, is better for them to engage in pros than affair.. cause affair=feelings

elaine01 : can i ask which counsellor did u and ur hubby goes to?.. too be frank, my trust for him is 0% now... cant bring myself to trust him anymore..

tommyBoi : i believe that he did not have sex with his sex (1 only).. we are childhood friends..

LoVeS : thanks for understanding me, i feel so hurt and depressed, i have lost even the basic confidence in myself (my looks, dressing, and everything in me)..

Mrs Xie : i decided to forgive him becos of my love for him.. we have been together for 20years, married for 10years.. (more than 2/3 of my life)

shopaholic : thanks i know.. but i m still trying to forgive and forget.. is really difficult.. not easy..

thanks to all... i wish i could just forget everything.. yesterday was at the Holy Communion, to admit our sins and seek Him for forgiveness.. I have decided to forgive him totally now and will try to forget the incident, is tought.. i ask dh for his support and patience too.. he had ask for 2 SEX services from 2 different woman from Thailand.. not one.. we used to have sex abt once a week.. now i tried to submit to him and accomodate him, and now is abt 3-4 times a week... he has high sex crave.. he can have them daily.. what can i do? we have 4 young kids, i m a working mother.. no maid, so after work i need to spend time with my kids..

Fei Yue FSC. My cousin-in-law is a counsellor. But she kept he rpromise to keep the matter to herself all these years.

He has so many OT that I suspect he's sick of seeing me everyday that why prefer to stay in office to work & surf net & leave DS to me alone. Come home bathe & sleep only.

I also want to doll myself up. But no $$$ & time. Dress easy so that comfy for me to move around.......:shyxxx: