AlongTheWay
New Member
My ex-boyfriend and I are in our early 20s. I am still schooling, and he had just started on his career earning at least S$3k. I have been together with him almost for a year. I'm currently 8 weeks pregnant and the both of us are still living with our parents.
I was happy while I was with him. There were many ups and downs in the relationship, there were some things I was unhappy about him, and him, unhappy about some parts about me and my behaviour. He gets along fine with my friends, and I was alright with his friends too. My parents loved him, and I've gotten along fine with his family members. Of course sacrifices were made between us in the relationship. He's a great guy who treats me with respect and never has he been unfaithful to me, white lies were inevitable to prevent me from getting hurt over small issues. While pre-marital sex was a big no no for us in our religion and culture, we did it anyway, without thinking of the consequences.
Things were going smooth, or so, I thought. He had asked for a break up, his reasons were unclear. While still with him, we talked about our relationship, that we needed to stop committing "sins" and improve on ourselves first before being together because he felt that the both of us were not ready for a relationship. I was upset because I thought that I was ready, but gotten to an understanding that he's not ready and I tried to absorb all that in.
I had friends who "cared" too much about my life, I had tried my best to explain to them about the break up, but they had made conclusions on their own - that he's a jerk. They talked to him into trying to work things out, but things just got worst between me and him.
Ever since I broke up with him, things have just been negative for me. My best friend had passed away, I had to choose my friends wisely, trying to find a pillar of support while entrusting myself to God.
It's not as if we've not tried to work things out after the relationship. He said he had tried, but said that he had lost all feelings for me because of my behaviour and the "black face" that I always give. He wanted freedom, space, everything, away from me. What could I do? I've always love him....and I still do love him now.
I got to know that I was pregnant 2 weeks ago and broke the news to him. I asked him if he was happy, and he smiled and said "Yes, I'm going to be a father". A week ago, I found out that I am 8 weeks pregnant and we began to discuss about the future of the baby. He wants to be responsible for the baby.
He does not wish to marry me, because marrying someone he does not love is a mistake in his life. He wants the baby to live with him because he felt his family and him could do a better job in taking care of the baby (rather than my family) since I will be occupied with my studies and work after my confinement. All check ups, hospital bills and expenses related to the baby will be paid by him, he said. Whenever I miss my baby, I could come to his house to visit the baby.
My parents are disappointed and angry with him now, knowing that he is not going to marry me but wishes to take care of the baby at his house because they wish to take care of their grandchild too.
At the same time, I worry too. What if one day his parents will not let me see my baby? What if they stop me, and if I try to get custody of my baby, I will be refused because he has been taking care of the baby all those times?
All of us are still in the midst of discussing about the future of the baby.
I'm at crossroads in my life, thinking of the future. My parents have been extremely forgiving, loving and caring towards me for the past weeks, and just the thought of their love makes me cry because I want to be a good parent to my child too.
I'm scared to love anyone again...or even want to think of entering another relationship in the future. I still love him deeply now and have always dreamt to be his wife and live together under one roof, but it's all one-sided now. To ask him out for a simple dinner with me, it's hard as he will always have 101 reasons not to meet me, unless it's to discuss about the pregnancy/baby. I don't know how to make him less important in my life when I know of the fact that he wants to be responsible for the child. It makes me fall in love with him more that he's a responsible man. I wish to see him happy. At the same time, it hurts me because I know we will never be together... (from his own words). He seems to have moved on perfectly in his life, but not me. I have to put myself in his shoes and understand him... it's not easy but I have to get over him....
Came into this forum to find out more about pregnancy and to gain more motivation to be a single mother-to-be... Omg, this is so lengthy. Hahaha..
I was happy while I was with him. There were many ups and downs in the relationship, there were some things I was unhappy about him, and him, unhappy about some parts about me and my behaviour. He gets along fine with my friends, and I was alright with his friends too. My parents loved him, and I've gotten along fine with his family members. Of course sacrifices were made between us in the relationship. He's a great guy who treats me with respect and never has he been unfaithful to me, white lies were inevitable to prevent me from getting hurt over small issues. While pre-marital sex was a big no no for us in our religion and culture, we did it anyway, without thinking of the consequences.
Things were going smooth, or so, I thought. He had asked for a break up, his reasons were unclear. While still with him, we talked about our relationship, that we needed to stop committing "sins" and improve on ourselves first before being together because he felt that the both of us were not ready for a relationship. I was upset because I thought that I was ready, but gotten to an understanding that he's not ready and I tried to absorb all that in.
I had friends who "cared" too much about my life, I had tried my best to explain to them about the break up, but they had made conclusions on their own - that he's a jerk. They talked to him into trying to work things out, but things just got worst between me and him.
Ever since I broke up with him, things have just been negative for me. My best friend had passed away, I had to choose my friends wisely, trying to find a pillar of support while entrusting myself to God.
It's not as if we've not tried to work things out after the relationship. He said he had tried, but said that he had lost all feelings for me because of my behaviour and the "black face" that I always give. He wanted freedom, space, everything, away from me. What could I do? I've always love him....and I still do love him now.
I got to know that I was pregnant 2 weeks ago and broke the news to him. I asked him if he was happy, and he smiled and said "Yes, I'm going to be a father". A week ago, I found out that I am 8 weeks pregnant and we began to discuss about the future of the baby. He wants to be responsible for the baby.
He does not wish to marry me, because marrying someone he does not love is a mistake in his life. He wants the baby to live with him because he felt his family and him could do a better job in taking care of the baby (rather than my family) since I will be occupied with my studies and work after my confinement. All check ups, hospital bills and expenses related to the baby will be paid by him, he said. Whenever I miss my baby, I could come to his house to visit the baby.
My parents are disappointed and angry with him now, knowing that he is not going to marry me but wishes to take care of the baby at his house because they wish to take care of their grandchild too.
At the same time, I worry too. What if one day his parents will not let me see my baby? What if they stop me, and if I try to get custody of my baby, I will be refused because he has been taking care of the baby all those times?
All of us are still in the midst of discussing about the future of the baby.
I'm at crossroads in my life, thinking of the future. My parents have been extremely forgiving, loving and caring towards me for the past weeks, and just the thought of their love makes me cry because I want to be a good parent to my child too.
I'm scared to love anyone again...or even want to think of entering another relationship in the future. I still love him deeply now and have always dreamt to be his wife and live together under one roof, but it's all one-sided now. To ask him out for a simple dinner with me, it's hard as he will always have 101 reasons not to meet me, unless it's to discuss about the pregnancy/baby. I don't know how to make him less important in my life when I know of the fact that he wants to be responsible for the child. It makes me fall in love with him more that he's a responsible man. I wish to see him happy. At the same time, it hurts me because I know we will never be together... (from his own words). He seems to have moved on perfectly in his life, but not me. I have to put myself in his shoes and understand him... it's not easy but I have to get over him....
Came into this forum to find out more about pregnancy and to gain more motivation to be a single mother-to-be... Omg, this is so lengthy. Hahaha..