peppermint
Member
it is so rude for her to make such comments about how you were brought up. Who is she to comment anyway? You family will be disturbed if they hear this!
My mother-in-law, Mdm L rom hell
- Thread starter peppermint
- Start date
it is so rude for her to make such comments about how you were brought up. Who is she to comment anyway? You family will be disturbed if they hear this!
My mum was very angry when she heard it. But she kept quiet about it.
peppermint
Member
I respect your in-laws for saving hard and provided your husband with education.
My in-laws didn't do a single thing, except to be pregnant for 9 months and give birth to their son.
My husband was brought up by his grandparents too. Until the age of 8, he has to move back to the parents' place together with grandparents. Even going to primary school, etc, it was grandfather who drives my husband to school. After moving back, he is still very close to the older folks. The older folks prepared all meals at home. His parents is always at mahjong sessions.
My in-laws didn't have to worry about the son. He worked part-time to put himself through NUS. They didn't have to worry about money for him. They didn't have to pay a cent for our wedding, didn't have to pay a cent for our first house, a condo and they didn't even buy us any house-warming gift! When my mum got us a Ariston fridge! I told my husband that his parents are very lucky to have him.
Well, it is not a big issue even if they didn't do all these or even show concern for us. But please don't try to create unnecessary trouble for us!
peppermint
Member
Did you tell your husband? How did he react?? How does he feels when you share with him about his mother?
He just kept quiet. My mum goes to the same church as my husband's aunties and to a certain extent, my mum and his aunties are close. He didn't say anything. It seems to be that we have in laws rivalry. He expects me to be all nice to his parents when they visit and sometimes he forgets to do it to my parents. We do have arguments over in laws.
peppermint
Member
*Hugs*
Initially, we have a lot of arguments about his mother and I have to learn it the very hard way, fights, shouting match, etc. Things with the MIL from hell is still not going well for me but relationship with my husband is much better now. This is how I am working at - Focus on building your relationship with your husband, always remember that at the end of the day, it's going to be you and your husband. Never Never let others (esp the in-laws) kill your marriage. If you read one of my earlier post, you don't have to like your in-laws, just give them basic respect, etc. all these for the sake of your relationship with the husband.
Get listening ears, share them with others and you will feel better...like me. I always feel better when I 'bitch' (sorry but I really dislike her) about my MIL's nonsense and this thread that I started is like my painkiller, my cure
And if you think, you need to share with the husband, find the right opportunity and discuss with him. Never never do it when you are angry or emotional. Speak firmly. You are lucky that you only have to see her during festive seasons and that you are staying really far away from them. Unlike the rest of us here. Sigh!
Very true! Don't think we can survive living in the same country as her. I told my husband in his face that we are not heading back to Spore to live until our son is 12. I won't have people interfering with the way I bring up my son. Oh, forgot to add that we adopted our son because we felt that it's God's call. Initial plan was for us to have a biological kid after we adopt but hubby has decided that we should just have one kid. And now, MIL is always asking me when are we having going to have a biological kid. And I so want to tell her to ask your son and not me. Why assume that something is wrong with me? She told my mum before we adopted that if I've a prob conceiving to see a doc or go to a TCM practitioner. I'm like, WTH? How rude! At least she loves our adopted son, so not going to complain about that.
peppermint
Member
Since this is your husband's decision, you should tell him to speak up the next time his mother asked. Warn him that if he is still keeping mum about it, you WILL speak/tell his mother truth and things may be ugly.
I did the same to my husband also. In the end, he no choice but to speak up, still not the truth but at least he said something!
You know what hell I went through?
We have been married for seven years and only one year ago that we decided to start our family planning. He refuses to check on his 'swimmers' while me on the other hand, have been put through tests after tests. My results were all cleared and good; am always ovulating, always good lining, HSG done and good. Until when I decided to do IUI, that we found out that his 'swimmers' are very very very bad, zero normal ones. Of course I was very dissapointed. He refuses to change his lifestyle, quit smoking, etc. While me on the other hand is careful (ok, I try to be) about my diet, excerise more, etc. Doc gave him supplements, he refuses to take.
His mother has never bug us for grandchildren, she never likes kids and I have this nasty feeling that she doesn't long for grandchildren because once we have baby, her son's focus will be on our baby and not so much on her and she thinks that her son may deduct her allowance - and therefore she has lesser money to gamble and beautify her ugly self.
It was his grandma that gave us hell, but I am still on good rapport with grandma. Grandma always pull me to a corner and ask if there's anything wrong with me, etc. She keep reminding me to start having kids early, etc. I told her nicely that I have seen a doctor and doctor said I am ok, good. But she still nags at me. She even tell me to tell my mum to go check with people on how to get pregnant. Hello?? This is about me, why put the blame onto my mum?? My husband is aware about his grandma nagging at us.
One day, she told me that she got a contact from some aunty that this particular doctor is very good and that she wants to bring me go for checkup but don't tell my husband about it. I am still keeping my cool, I told her, "ok, but why don't you bring US (me and my husband, K) to go see this doctor??". His grandma replied, "Nothing to do with K, I bring you." I got so angry, but still trying to keep cool and raised my voice alittle at her, "I already told you doctor checked on me, and I am perfectly ok." She didn't get the drift.
At home, I told K that HE better speak up, if not I can tell the truth about his swimmers to the whole family and things will get ugly because he is the eldest grandson and the only kid in the family. So the next time, his grandma asked me, he quickly said that it is not my fault, that I am perfectly ok, that it is just that he is very stressed at work.
That's nice of your husband to finally speak up. I don't think mine would speak up because he can't deal with his naggy mother. In fact, when he went back to Spore to work for 8 months, after living with his parents for 4 months, he had enough! He called me to ask my mother to get my old room ready. He moved to my parents' home.
princessyuki
New Member
5pages long.. oh dear... no time to read..
but i also hv nasty in-laws too...
i think we cn meet up and gossip abt them.. haha
but i also hv nasty in-laws too...
i think we cn meet up and gossip abt them.. haha
peppermint
Member
The thing with him is his ego. He doesnt want me to tell the world, especially his beloved world that he has poor swimmers.
peppermint
Member
Hihi princessyuki,
Just glance through if you have the time. Actions of some of our MILs are really out of this world...what a joke!! I even found a long-lost twin sister for my MIL(right babymoo?)
....exactly the same nonsense and style. Feel free to share your problems too, that is, if you are comfortable sharing or even better still, you don't have any?? Then good for you!
princessyuki
New Member
I'll post mine whn I hv the time. n hopefully none of the in-laws/relative sees it. lol
I remember when I went back last summer for 4 weeks. I went to visit my grandmother in law and hubby's Aunty was there. She asked if I was going to stay at my in laws for the summer with my son. I told her no. I'm staying at my parents. She nodded and she said that my mil can't be difficult. So even relatives can also say that about her.
Oh yeah oh yeah!!! Hahaha.... Btw.... Hw many kids u hav? N saw tt u said ur hubby hav zero healthy sperm if I nv c wrongly? Hw u guys manage to get pregnant? Surprisingly I facing same prob with u... >.<
Hihi princessyuki,
Just glance through if you have the time. Actions of some of our MILs are really out of this world...what a joke!! I even found a long-lost twin sister for my MIL(right babymoo?)
peppermint
Member
Yup, my extended family members can't stand her too. My cousin-in-law has been bitching to me abt her. But no choice because my MIL is the eldest aunt (her husband is the eldest son in the family), so have to give face but it's obvious they usually stay away from her at gatherings. Except for one particular aunt who is like my MIL, both also fire starter and because that aunt has no friends at all, my MIL is her only friend.
peppermint
Member
Hi babymo, we have no baby yet. Thinking of ivf in Jan.
oh yes, I have one kid and that is my husband.
peppermint
Member
Sure! Join in the 'fun'!! Hahahah.
peppermint
Member
Looking at the poll results, there is still no takers for 'talk to her, try to understand her strange habits'.
Good! It shows that I'm not the only one who think this way.
Good! It shows that I'm not the only one who think this way.
Excited Mummy
Member
Yes, MILs think they are the greatest mums and have the greatest children in the world.
They think their sons deserve the best women and somehow the wives their sons marry aren't good enough for them.