Am I being too much?
- Thread starter jxmummy
- Start date
nope, she didn't show me black face or ask me anything, still the same as before. just that she didn't come in to my room again, cos this few days i tried not to lock the door and monitor what would happen. to my surprise, she didn't come in again =)
yes, cos when she opened the door, she won't open lightly, but with some noise and then sometimes my dd would be awake by that noise.
wow, haha!, quite a good idea, can consider... hehe!
apollo
Well-Known Member
mayb u can try opening ur mil's door when she's slping soundly? see if she likes it anot...
or, make a cup of warm milo, wake up her in the middle of night and force her to drink! then she will know how irritating is that... HAHA!!!
pardon me for my stupid ideas :001_302:
Well, if talking doesn't helps and if she continues. I don't think there's anything wrong with you locking your own room door isn't it? There's something call respect for each other's privacy isn't it?
Even my own MIL would knock and wait for our response before opening the door whether locked or not.
Even my own MIL would knock and wait for our response before opening the door whether locked or not.
LoVeS
Well-Known Member
Seriously your baby is only close to 6mths old but last feed is at 7pm~ Yes sleep thru is ok but 7pm is last feed and last until 7am it is abit too long interval.
As for the relationship between your mother in law and you, i feel that your thinking too much and it is not good to assume things UNLESS you hear it personally frm them. Misunderstanding always start due to miscommunication so dont just "feel" that they dont like you carry your daughter just bcoz you THINK or FEEL that way coz you will never know things might not be that case~:001_302:
As for the relationship between your mother in law and you, i feel that your thinking too much and it is not good to assume things UNLESS you hear it personally frm them. Misunderstanding always start due to miscommunication so dont just "feel" that they dont like you carry your daughter just bcoz you THINK or FEEL that way coz you will never know things might not be that case~:001_302:
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i dun think u are too much too... i'll knock the door if i were u... but when you MIL opens the door, your hubby won't know de meh?
i'm leaving with my PIL right now, and luckily my MIL now still won't open my door.. she'll stand outside and have conversation with us with our door closed.. coz she din knock in the first place, and i think my hubby enjoying toking to her that way, buy everytime i'll get up from my bed and open the door to let them tok..
u shd try to get your hubby to tok to her.. that's wat i always do.. get my hubby to be the messenger.. coz he shd know how to handle as she is his mum..
i'm leaving with my PIL right now, and luckily my MIL now still won't open my door.. she'll stand outside and have conversation with us with our door closed.. coz she din knock in the first place, and i think my hubby enjoying toking to her that way, buy everytime i'll get up from my bed and open the door to let them tok..
u shd try to get your hubby to tok to her.. that's wat i always do.. get my hubby to be the messenger.. coz he shd know how to handle as she is his mum..
let me list out 1 scenario:
when my FIL and me are free, and my MIL needs someone to carry dd, she will always ask my FIL and not me! and my FIL is so irritating that he always have a toothpick in his mouth, what if he pokes my dd accidentally? who's going to bear the consequences?
apollo
Well-Known Member
u're not alone.. i read many threads and many mummies 'complain' that their mil dont let them carry their OWN babies...
my mil loves to carry ds too.. but one good thing is we're not staying tgt and ds is super heavy so sometimes she bobian LL have to pass ds back to us.. haha!
i really hate it lor!!! don't know what's wrong with all these MILs nowadays!!!
haiyo! wat a suggestion lor *faintz*
1. 7pm as last feed for a 6mth old is too early. U can try giving her another bottle at say ard 11pm. No need to wake her up, jus stick the bottle in, she will auto drink the milk, its call dream feed in Tracy Hogg's method.
2. Baby who do not have a good undisturbed rest will be cranky.
3. If ur MIL wants to carry then let her, u can take this time to do ur own things. Perhaps the min ur DD starts to fuss n make noise, ur MIL will "throw" her back to u.
4. eewwwwwwwwww~ toothpicks! Germs n bacteria! Let ur DH tell ur FIL tt its unhygenic n disgusting. Plus u wun want him to accidentally drip his saliva *oopppss sorry* I mean drops the toothpick n then all his yucky saliva onto ur DD.
2. Baby who do not have a good undisturbed rest will be cranky.
3. If ur MIL wants to carry then let her, u can take this time to do ur own things. Perhaps the min ur DD starts to fuss n make noise, ur MIL will "throw" her back to u.
4. eewwwwwwwwww~ toothpicks! Germs n bacteria! Let ur DH tell ur FIL tt its unhygenic n disgusting. Plus u wun want him to accidentally drip his saliva *oopppss sorry* I mean drops the toothpick n then all his yucky saliva onto ur DD.
LoVeS
Well-Known Member
actually ur MIL is consider very nice alrdy as she offer to help u take care of ur daughter even for nite feeds, at least she didnt xpect u to wake up to feed ur daughter but do it by herself~ My MIL is worse than ur MIL so many many times, last time she aso behaved like ur MIL BUT different is tat she xpect ME wake up to feed my son :tlaugh:
LoVeS
Well-Known Member
yeah i agreed too tat 7pm as last feed to last until 7am is too long alrdy~
Actually I dun mind waking up to feed my dd. but whenever dd is being disturbed from her sleep, she will get cranky and make a fuss over it... I will just wait for dd to auto wake up then feed her milk. Now she will wake up at 3am plus and i will just feed her milk even though i'm sleeping soundly. and dd will fall back to sleep in jus a few mins, but whenever MIL feeds her, she will also let dd to play at least 1 hr before letting her to sleep even though dd is already very sleepy, reason being: she wants dd to digest first before sleeping... and logic?
Palindrome
Member
Hui Min,frankly there will be no end to all these unless you move out or start to set limits.Your husband needs to be supportive too.You may want to consider setting limits like not having them enter your bedroom, so you have a private place to retreat. Get your husband to convey the message,so you dont't have to feel guilty about locking the door.
To save your sanity, speak lesser and take your child away when you feel the need to. If communication is increasing your stress levels, it is a good idea to speak less = less conflict.
The situation should improve a little and you will experience slightly lesser tension.
On another hand, we need to look from a different perspective sometimes. What if it was your own mum who wanted to carry your child? Would you disallow the grandparent-grandchild relationship?Will you be angry if your husband says your mum is not to touch your child or speak to him/her?
Think of the type of values you would like to pass to your child. Is it "hey your grandma/grandpa is a bad person,stay away"?(unless they are murderers or child abusers?) or "Child, everyone loves you."
I am in the same situation myself,with the exception that I can see the light at the tunnel where I will finally get to move out once the BTO flat is complete.
.Plus the fact that I am working, makes that little everyday time I have with my child very precious, but I know there are times I cannot deny my child of her relationship with other people.
To save your sanity, speak lesser and take your child away when you feel the need to. If communication is increasing your stress levels, it is a good idea to speak less = less conflict.
The situation should improve a little and you will experience slightly lesser tension.
On another hand, we need to look from a different perspective sometimes. What if it was your own mum who wanted to carry your child? Would you disallow the grandparent-grandchild relationship?Will you be angry if your husband says your mum is not to touch your child or speak to him/her?
Think of the type of values you would like to pass to your child. Is it "hey your grandma/grandpa is a bad person,stay away"?(unless they are murderers or child abusers?) or "Child, everyone loves you."
I am in the same situation myself,with the exception that I can see the light at the tunnel where I will finally get to move out once the BTO flat is complete.
.Plus the fact that I am working, makes that little everyday time I have with my child very precious, but I know there are times I cannot deny my child of her relationship with other people.
PinkDiamonds
Well-Known Member
Actually I don't think you are being too much. My daughter was able to sleep through the night for 12 hours without milk at 3.5 months. She was gaining weight well, and PD even said she might be gaining weight a bit too fast. Babies are not totally helpless, their bodies learn to adjust. If you don't give her milk in the middle of the night, they will adjust by drinking more milk in the daytime to make up for it.
If I were you, I would also lock the room door. If she ask what we doing inside why must lock the door, then I will tell her, "Couples sleep together will do what one?" Wahahaha...
If I were you, I would also lock the room door. If she ask what we doing inside why must lock the door, then I will tell her, "Couples sleep together will do what one?" Wahahaha...
apollo
Well-Known Member
i think it is v silly to ask a couple WHY they lock the door. cos the ans is v obvious HAHA!!! :tlaugh: